Genshin Impact: I'm The Envoy of Snezhnaya
Chapter 339: This Kaeya Is Pretty Lame
The ticking of a pocket watch echoed steadily.
Across Mondstadt, aside from the great windmills turning in the night, there was hardly any other sound.
Occasionally, someone passed along the streets, but those were simply patrol knights arranged by the Knights of Favonius.
Even though many believed there were no criminals lurking in Mondstadt at night, with the Fatui stationed at the Goth Grand Hotel, caution was still necessary.
Back at Lisa's house—
Lisa had already gone limp on the sofa. Her wide-brimmed witch's hat completely covered her face, and faint, almost imperceptible snores could occasionally be heard.
Jean leaned back against the sofa as well, head tilted upward, long since unconscious.
"Th-that night… it was raining heavily. I knocked on Diluc's door and confessed everything to him."
Another cup of strong liquor went down.
Kaeya clutched a wine barrel in his arms, his expression somewhere between laughter and tears.
"He drew his greatsword on me… but that was punishment I deserved. After all, I lied."
"And then? What happened between you two?"
Seated squarely between Jean and Kaeya, Bai Luo looked perfectly fine. With his Reverse Blade Sword in hand, he idly poked at the fire while coaxing the thoroughly drunk Kaeya to continue revealing what had happened that night.
Trying to get Bai Luo drunk?
It had to be said—Kaeya was far too naive.
Back in Snezhnaya, Bai Luo frequently attended the young ladies' "tea parties."
On the surface, they were ordinary tea gatherings.
In reality… aside from the usual water, the most common drink there was firewater.
Thanks to those wolf-like young ladies, Bai Luo had trained an excellent alcohol tolerance—purely to avoid being toyed with while drunk.
Perhaps precisely because of that, he never liked the unique burn of firewater.
So even with Jean and Lisa taking turns, they had only barely managed to make him appear tipsy.
When Jean and Lisa, in an attempt to completely knock out the already dazed Bai Luo, sacrificed themselves in the process—
Bai Luo quietly took out his divine artifact: the Reverse Blade Sword.
As mentioned before, Bai Luo never spared even himself for the sake of fun.
So earlier, his hazy state hadn't been an act—it was real.
Because only then would Jean and Lisa be willing to go all in to create an opportunity for Kaeya.
But what they could never have imagined was that the Reverse Blade Sword in Bai Luo's hand had a rather miraculous effect:
Active Skill – True Strike: Removes all abnormal statuses and immediately refreshes the cooldown of Kuzuryūsen (Nine-Head Dragon Flash) / Amakakeru Ryū no Hirameki (Flash of the Heavenly Soaring Dragon). If the skill is not on cooldown, True Strike's cooldown becomes 3 seconds.
And wouldn't you know it, drunkenness counted as an abnormal status.
Which meant that as long as his ultimate wasn't on cooldown, Bai Luo could cleanse his drunken state once every three seconds.
He would never get drunk.
"And then… then we…"
With a loud clang, the wine barrel slipped from Kaeya's hands, rolled across the floor, and bumped into the tail of Cat Diluc, who had been casually tossed aside.
Cat Diluc merely let out a muffled sound—but didn't wake.
The Bai-style physical deep hypnosis technique was no joke, especially when the effect was delivered via a club.
"That's all you've got? This Kaeya is pretty lame."
Draining his cup in one gulp, Bai Luo looked over the entire table, feeling a touch of lonely invincibility at the summit.
After kindly tidying up the table and the somewhat messy living room for "Aunt Lisa," Bai Luo lifted the unconscious Lisa in his arms and carried her into the inner room.
Hm?
You're asking why Bai Luo dared to call Lisa "Aunt" at a time like this?
Because Aunt Lisa was already drunk, there was no way she could make things difficult for him.
After carrying her inside, Bai Luo didn't do anything inappropriate.
Compared to Yae Miko, the only one in Mondstadt with a bit of scheming talent was Kaeya.
Unfortunately, that level of cunning wasn't enough to make Bai Luo feel inspired to write anything on them.
After all, tonight's so-called "clash" had been a complete one-sided stomp.
As expected… he still preferred playing with foxes.
It's much more thrilling.
He even wondered if he'd ever get the chance to turn that "下" tallymark on her lower half into a proper "正."
After placing Jean and cat-form Noelle onto Lisa's bed, Bai Luo returned to the living room, looking at the fiery red Cat Diluc and the ice-blue Kaeya.
He was honestly curious about what had really happened that night Kaeya mentioned.
Sadly, the man had been useless—collapsing drunk so quickly.
It was only two barrels of strong liquor. Did he really have to go down that miserably?
Grabbing Kaeya by the leg with one hand and holding Cat Diluc by the scruff of the neck with the other, Bai Luo kicked open the guest room door in Lisa's house.
He tossed Kaeya onto the bed, then stuffed Cat Diluc into his arms.
No need to thank me, I'm just doing what I should!
After finishing all that, Bai Luo picked up the bag of leftovers he had neatly packed, kicked open the small window of the former alchemy workshop, and flipped out.
The moment he left, the already rickety window frame finally gave up and crashed down with a loud bang.
Not using the door—that was his principle.
After leaving Lisa's residence, Bai Luo planned to toss the garbage into a nearby trash bin first.
Hm? You're asking why a great villain like him would bother being so civilized?
Who says villains have to litter everywhere? We may commit arson and murder, but we still care about the environment.
Of course, some people might not see it that way.
"Hey! You up ahead—stop!"
The sharp click of high heels striking stone echoed through the night. A deep-blue figure dragged a greatsword behind her as she charged toward Bai Luo.
"???"
Dodging the heavy blade as it swung toward him, Bai Luo turned to look at his attacker.
For a split second, he almost mistook her for Diluc.
Or rather… Diluc in his Darknight Hero disguise.
With blue hair and a blue greatsword, the resemblance in silhouette was striking.
But under the streetlamps, he soon made out her identity.
"Eula?"
"You know me?"
Holding her greatsword, Eula looked at the black-clad figure standing half-concealed in the building's shadows with visible suspicion.
She had absolutely no memory of this silhouette. It didn't match anyone she knew.
So how had he recognized her name at a glance?
"Whoever you are, put down the stolen goods in your hands and come with me to the Knights of Favonius!"
"..."
Hearing Eula's words, Bai Luo felt speechless.
He had been wondering why she attacked him out of nowhere. Even walking the streets at night shouldn't warrant this level of hostility, right?
Turns out she thought he was a thief.
To be fair, dressed all in black and carrying a large sack—it did look suspicious.
But still—
"I'm just taking out the trash. Isn't this a bit much?"
"Trash? Are you mocking my judgment? Tch— I'll remember this grudge!"
. . . . .
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