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Certain Scientific Index/Railgun - colection of stories

Dretnoth
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Synopsis
Certain Scientific Something Something My collection of stand alone comedy stories based onto environment of Certain scientific Index/ Railgun universe. Mostly comedy/humor oriented with perk of adventure, puns, references and so on.
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Chapter 1 - Misaka Safari

This scene takes place when Misaka Mikoto, Shirai Kuroko, Ruiko Saten and Kazari Uiharu are leaving a hospital, walking through hospital park next to it. Mikoto walking at the back of group, come to stop, because a black kitten craved for her attention. Aware of the connections, she quickly looks around and sees her bandaged Imoto [Number #10032, the survivor of the encounter with # 1] standing behind a tree. The brunette picks up the kitty to her arms, and asks her friends, to go ahead. That she will catch them in moment.

.

As Saten and Uiharu walked in their original direction, the twin tailed Kuroko watches with suspicious gaze as her (Love interest) Onee-sama [sissy, Older/Big sister] runs off alone.

But Shirai was catch off guard when the long-black-haired girl whispered to her ear. "Let's follow her!" Prank victim, jumped two steps, derailment thereof, as she failed to keep her (lady posture?) when she was secretly approached from mentioned pair of black-haired girls whit sparking eyes, overflowing with enthusiasm. "Shirai-san, let's reveal the secret, that Misaka-san hiding from us."

Usually Kazari is the restraining voice of reason, but this time, it was she the one who was seducing the sinner. "Well Shirai, I know that you want to do it, and you will do it anyway. So do not worry, we'll look after you, that you will not exceeded any limits."

.

Kuroko looked offended. "I cannot believe that you two are the one who tempt me to go spy on… actually oversight, sissy. Where has yours trust gone? Among other things, if sissy itself is on this level of alert, then her detection radius is 50 meters and..."

Saten pulled out her cell phone showing her readiness for expedition. "I understand, keeping a minimum distance of at least 51 meters, I have 'app' just for that."

Uiharu joined, and was already hunting something in her little backpack. "It will be like watching a rare creature in its natural habitat."

.

And so it happened that the trio sat down behind bushes, conveniently as expedition on safari. From a safe distance they watched the playground and two specimens of that rare species, plus the little black kitty demanding their attention. The trio made sure, that they will be not accidentally sighted by the cat beasts. Because that would mostly, likely, at least in one particular case, lead to the awakening of previously undesirable hunting instincts. In a safe hiding place, the observers release their comments, speaking almost over each other.

Kuroko breathed in relief. "So sissy [Onee-sama] worried herself, about her little sister [Imoto] all that time. So much for the nights she wasn't been home, and was returning exhausted on mornings."

"Mission diary: first record. The expedition has only just begun, and we have already come across a family of the rare species of Misaka." The long-black-haired took on the role of a cameraman with an extra camera ball on top of her cell phone. "Two adult individuals take care for their youngster/ cub, which still keeping his full black fur as a camouflage."

"Saten-san, can you please manage to stop shake the camera? These shocks are on 50 meters, noticeable and smeared the image. I need accurate information's!" Said the Flower-pot-girl while looking to her notebook computer, as she was pressing the keys whit passion. A cable has connecting her computer and mentioned cell phone, currently modified to a long-distance, almost telescopic camera.

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"Saten-san, did you for real, compare sissy to a cat? Not that it didn't fit her, but..."

"...The question is how long it will take, until the youngster grow enough, that she will drop down her camouflage coat, and starts remind the other two Misaka's."

"Hmmm. If Misaka-san were recognized as a cat, then no one could object your attempts to pet her, Shirai-san."

.

Kuroko groaned from direct hit, at the meaning of her 'one-sided love'. She did not expect such a blow from her colleague.

"As we can see, one female was seriously injured. Although for now it looks that after surgery, she is out of danger. But still, the second female with her cub, exhibit for her support and comfort by their attention."

"Hmmm. Her bandages and the movements she does, do not seem as a result of accident. But more as she received pretty bad beating."

.

A healthy Misaka desired say something to the wounded. Something serious, personal, or confidential, but it was for her so embarrassing to say, that she didn't even know how to start. She turned away from her, binding her stare to ground.

"Oh, Sissy, your modesty knows no bounds."

"It looks like that the most senior beast are preparing for emotionally embarrassing speech."

"So, this is a manifestation of a real lady, modest, shy, with unstained heart. She need collect a lot of courage to say something that goes right from her heart."

.

But as Mikoto started, her little sister must get bored, thinking 'this will take for a while'. She noticed a pair of little girls on the swings playground, and their arguments fully captured her attention. Immediately she walked over to them, leaving her older sister alone, who was still trying to confess her heart to the other girl.

Kuroko remained breathless. "Sissy, come on-- it goes from you harder that dust from a furry blanket."

"I fell in love..." Ruiko snapped in astonishment.

"Saten san!!?" Snapped flower pot offended from the unexpected shock.

.

Slowly, the redhead did not perceive anything but the cuteness of her roommate. "'Moe'...."

"No worries Uiharu chan, nothing can overcome my love for your panties."

For that, the tiny black head plowed tears into her eyes. Maybe she gets touched from that response. "Saten san,-- you pervert."

.

Mikoto took enough effort to finally express her feeling to her little sis directly to the face. But when she turned back, she found, that her sister has showing to the couple of tots how to swing in stand, and the little girls look at her whit 'wow' expression. Of course, the older Misaka was shocked by what she saw. Finally realizing the cruel fact, that all that time, she was uncovering her own heart, to the wind. In the manners of [Face-Palm] she put a hand on her face. She needed a time to process this or to catch breath from this event. Her little sis jumped down from the swing, grabbed the kitty cat on to her chest, and rubbed her forehead with her free hand, as if she done a strenuous work. Then she looked at her older sissy whit question: 'What is it?'

Kuroko was just astonished.

On the other hand, Ruiko's eyes shone with enthusiasm. "Wow, I get it when it is just too much, always waiting five minutes for older sister to get her deepest embarrassing feelings out from her. But this one girl is class. Just imagine: That she would managed to return on her previous post, before Misaka-san manage finish her speech and turn her body toward her sister. So Miska's sister will pretend that she been there all the time, listening to her. That on its own is awesomeness!"

"Maybe she doesn't like that Misaka-san is worrying about her too much. Thus wanted to express that her sister exaggerate, and she's is actually fine."

.

The little girls embarked on a discussion with the brown-haired girls on a topic that ignored Mikoto's emotional defense.

Red-haired was moved. "Oh, Sissy, your heart is unrealistic big."

"I know what you mean; her reactions to teasing are just amazing."

"That's your colors, exploiting the weaknesses of her upbringing as a true lady."

.

The Mikoto little sis began explaining something to the little ones. It was in so serious manner that the little girls were again in awe. Blushed Mikoto in other hand react so much that her own body speak that the content of explanation is about her.

Kuroko jaw dropped as she disbelieving what she saw.

"Oh, now she's probably pulling out to light, Misaka-san deepest and most embarrassing secrets." Saten licked her lips as she wished to be there at close.

"Saten-san, do not expect, that the already too large urban legend as Misaka is, have even more mysterious secrets than (the one) we seeing right now. If you will continue like this, you will suddenly start to see a mysterious maps in the grooves on wood at your school bench's, and you will discover on the class main board ancient code leaved there by the visitors from another dimension."

.

The little girls were already on the swings and again started arguing about who to whom they will swing now. Imoto of Misaka speak to them, and what she say must be so big 'troll ' [prank] that her own older sister yell at her, her own punch line 'Hey!! ' [entry line, or pick up fight line, or what ewer]

At this point the three observers on this expedition concluded, that the watched beast is near to get in a battle mood and might soon decide to release some steam by 'hunting'. Therefore, to not become a potential prey, they decided for a hidden retreat using Shirais tele-port ability.

.

.

A moment later, members of the expedition walked down the street.

"So Imoto-- huh." The redhead shortly recapitulated.

"What's more, it's almost a perfect twin. So I dint make mistake, when I saw Misaka the other day. Its only wasn't the one we know. Wow, now I can imagine the scenario, when for the 'right reasons' it was conceal that there are two of them. And now, they are taking only half of school duties. At least, I would do that to look how long it would last. Damn, I can't wait to discover, on what kind of teasing she would have the best responds."

"On the other hand, I can imagine vigorously why Misaka-san keeps her as secret. Especially before you, Shirai-san."

.

"Girls, please-- It is true that this trail [evidence trail/trace in cri-mi story] explains a lot, but at the same time it raise even more questions. Like if the two of them dint making swaps directly under of our noses, etc.-- But I decided to trust my Sissy and therefore I also beg you two to behave yourself in this matter."

"I'm honestly surprised that you are the one to say that, Shirai-san. But I can make a prophecy that your proper behavior will last you to the first cold turkey." [withdrawal effects]

"Saten-san! Although this is an adequate response to a hypocrite of her caliber, you shouldn't have said it out loud." [hypocrite - it just preteens/ reshape/ have mask that he is, but is not]

.

"Beg me pardon!! My sophisticated and refined tastes are quite understandable and acceptable for Sissy's Herald of my caliber. Do not try to compare me with someone specific from this trio who has fundamentally different tastes than that of a proper lady."

"Wow, Shirai! Are you listening to yourself? At least we and Uiharu don't deny it so forcefully!"

"What did you just say?!! Why you two talking about me as if I too had some of these 'sophisticated tastes'."

.

They both said in unison: 'E-Katarina.' It was a name of certain Python, a snake that was kept as a house pet, by certain rich and eccentric Kongou Mitsuko.

As for response, the flowered hacker girl had swollen her cheeks. "She's lovely, you barbarians! You two shall look onto your own tastes, because I can guarantee that if you climb up mount Everest, then the flag that you bring up to the peak will be actually only a certain someone panties."

.

The redhead sighed. "We are really some nice bunch. Aren't we?"

"Let's face it; we're a group of perverts. Just think about it; each of us has something."

"In that case, how far goes Misaka-san obsession with tadpoles?" She considered the question, and the two other girls looked at her so uncomprehendingly that they remained open-mouthed. She added quickly: "I mean her frogs. [Firecrackers named Tadpoles] Actually, if we think about it, she successfully fits between us."

.

"I cannot believe that I, not only are listening to these vices [filth], but participate in this shameful talk about Sissy. At least it's clear to me, how you two can get along each other so well."

"This interview alone explains you and Uiharu, Shirai-san."

"To addition to that, I do not think, that Misaka-san is our friend only for a reason like: 'to feel like a normal person between us'."

.

"Uh!! I--! I--!!" She stammered. "How dare you?!!"

"Damn it, that was a really brutal revelation of that massive elephant in the room, which was hiding among us, Uiharu. On the other hand, we have a bunch of similar interest which we share."

"Saten-san, if you mean by this common interest something like: 'the path of perverted person', I strongly protesting!"

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"Friendship!!" Spat out Kuroko in panic. "Yes, friendship is what unites this group."

"Nice pull, to save the day. But that only means a 'Friends zone' for you, Shirai-san. By the way Uiharu, I hope you don't suggest that you will start wear leggings, boxers or pants?"

"Ladies, do we have such a serious haggling necessary? I don't want, even for little, hear someone outbursts, as she constantly fails to get out of 'Friends zone'."

.

"How-- How, dare you." The eyes of the redhead were dewy. "You're flirting with my Sissy while you well know, that she has me."

"Shirai--" said a black-haired-girl with a single flower in her hair. "You Do realize, that this option was closed when you start call Misaka-san a sissy? [Oné-sama, big sister] That moment, she probably started thinking about you, as you had been her new discovered hyperactive-perverted-little-sister. [Imoto] I am Right? I am Right??"

"Try cross dressing, Shirai. And put yourself in the role of an inexperienced boy who, as if for a short moment, stops being vigilant about his own older sister, she will lift/seduce him with her charm."

.

Kuroko almost stuck/snag.

"Common Shirai-san, Misaka is a wild beast. She will probably not get satisfied by prey sitting on a silver plate, but more like she will prefer to go out, hunt and catch her prey on her own. The more it will resist the higher will be her excitement."

"What Saten-san desire to say is that you shall begin to behave like prey worth to catch, and encourage her to jump on you, because that shall be something that not you but she wants. She's like alpha, immediately on her guard from moment when you start speaking."

.

"Do you think that I do not know that?! My dear Sissy has not yet opened enough to me, so we can move to the next base. She didn't even tell me about her family members. She still locked on, on her way of lone wolf, who protecting his pack from distance and alone. Like that's the only option for her, and she stick to it. Even when I constantly repeating to her, that I will support her whit anything. It's almost look, that she like this current situation more, that what she will possibly get if she finally open door at her hart for me. But any way, at last, until she's not unhappy, I am okay with how things are for now. Then, how about, will we all let stay that for a while as it?"

"Pretending, that we don't know about her sister? Of course! Even now I can imagine those awkward situations where coincidence controls destiny. For example, an unexpected s meeting in the park: In panic, she throws her sister into the bushes and tries making an excuse as: 'stray cat in bushes'."

The Hacker girl puff off. "Saten-san! Its look like you are too much excited from unexpected revelation about Misaka little sister. Or you will reacted same way, if we here and now meet another noble lady from Tokiwadai?"

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"Hmm. I wonder, if I shall got additional reserve uniform. I would let it in the apartment of my coworker from office as we are same size. For each case or something like an unexpected event. Something like if I will need urgently change my uniform to fresh one, but I am unable go to my dorm."

"Hmm. So we ignore the fact, that certain girl, is not a lady at all."

Uiharu got on alert.

.

"In addition, I could get even a uniform for maid service. Or something like that."

"So role play, cosplay: bossy lady and funny maid.-- I am sure, that someone would have loved it."

"I will not mining for you, information about Misaka-san sister, Shirai-san. Do not tempt me to bribery, so I will sell secrets about my friend sister. But I do have some spare storage space for you reserve school uniform. I can hide her safely."

.

"That's not what I had in mind, jokers."

"Shirai-san, are you aware, what will happen, if you put your hands on certain someone little sister? Right? Taking flowers on the grave of minors is not among of the favorite activities."

"Although, even if Misaka-san will not admit it, she is too much protectionist. Her princess aura don't allow her to deny her feelings."

.

.

The girls went to a family restaurant and began to settle into a box.

"So we have a deal?"

"What are you talking about? Of course, yes. She herself alone is on the blame, for potentially amusing 'misunderstandings', if she hasn't told us yet."

"The only problem that there is, is with you Shirai. If you want to make this sucefully came out, in no case you shall have no attempt on her sister. Additionally you must keep you big sassy mouth shut up tightly."

.

"Please, it is beyond a question. I and Sissy have eyes only for each other. My heart will not be hijacked, by her little sister, which looks exactly like her mirror image. But Sissy can arrive any minute, if she ask what we been doing until now; what we shall told her? We can get busted directly on first question."

"That's simple Shirai, leave it to me!" The red-haired girl show a worry expression on suspicious proposal of black-haired girl who looked to excited for this whit her big smug smile. "If she comes, I'll ask her this: Hey, Misaka-san, so how was your date with that mystery suitor? Have you shake hand?-- Give each other a nice hug?-- Whit blushing face, looked from eyes to eyes, and after that-- have you, kissed?-- Tell me, was it boy?-- Or a girl?"

"Saten-san!" Uiharu turned red and on protests began pounding (whit her small fist) to her classmate.

.

But twin tailed pervert got short circuits on her brain, as she tried process that imagined scene, her eyes got open wide. "Sissy [Onee-sama] dating her own little sister [Imoto]… Sissy-- and Sissy are giggling together… [The Imoto get swapped by older one. Onee-sama and Onee-sama.] Both locked in fervent embrace… Blushed faces, glaring glances… Then the kiss…" It was too much for the red-haired girl whit full red face. Her brain was so hot that a thick steam has rising upwards from her head that can be seen by naked eye. A moment later, Kuroko itself faint off, with her eyes open and spread out on her sit.

Long-black-haired girl, has been at first very well entertained on account of their friend, but when she first saw how redhead solidify from the mental KO, which would be enough to be send to a hospital, she get it that she overdo it. She salvages guilty expression, when, her partner in crime burned reproachful look.

"I know, that you waited for 'this joke', the entire time you saw the little sister. You have waited for a moment when you have been sure that we will not need to carry her to here. But for real, you shall not do it! What if Shirai will not recover from it? Do you realize how much paperwork I must do in her position too?" Kazari was steaming. "You will not get out of this! Seriously, single 'day of services' will not be enough to deal whit all that work stress that awaits me, because you made a prank. Get ready for it!" So she literary stomped to emphasize that the deal of punishment was settled.

.

Shirai was still on fire.

But when Ruiko think a little bit about what can be intended by this 'day of services', she went into shy mode. She blushed as if she was inexperienced maiden/ maid in embarrassing situation. She moved her eyes from side to side, wagging in place whit anticipation of 'what' will her master/ mistress, order her to do, when they will be left alone. "Um... Uiharu-chan... Fine by me... But, I just want you to know, that you will not be my first lady, which I will serve, all I can. I mean-- if you don't mind that."

Uiharu let the comment from Ruiko passed through her head and in a moment, she also got a short circuit. She rolled her eyes, flushed, and also began to generate steam from her head. "Eh... that's all right, Saten-san." She proclaimed with an absent gaze, which she then anchored on from herself onto the table before her.

.

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So, when Misaka finally arrived as cavalry, [Late of course.] and saw the bizarre scene: where two girls were KO from (heat?), and the third one was like some maiden struck by love delivered directly from 'shoujo manga'. [For girls] Mikoto quickly get that she is not the only one who have problem to approach this trio. After she questioned the waitress, who had the same hesitation as her. She gets for sure that there is no external intervention or control. So she brought from counter a lot of stuff as means or supplement for distraction. Then she forced herself to the sitting-box of her friends as if nothing has happened. In order to directly break the current mood at their table, she forcibly raised a topic at which she controlled the pace to get them out of their enchantment. Neither she, nor her friends, never asked what happened when Misaka was away and everyone keep their experiences with Misaka safari for themselves.

.

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(21. Aug 2024) About the tadpole: It's a joke on Misaka sparkling like cheap fireworks. Especially the small one party cracker's named tadpole (firework). And for that name, some little kids was putting a firecracker into toad's buts, or at last they tried to figure it out. [That's why it dint have that name anymore.] And whit that, we finally got into Misaka being a 'Gekota' fan. [cute lite toad] When she can spread sparkly party crackers on her own.

In curiosity even Misaki Shokuhou pointed out that Mikoto have a habit to outpace conversation by pressing topic in which she is familiar. Also Misaka is know for her colorful one line comparisons.