I'm Not A Master, I'm A Director
Chapter 458: Jeanne — "Take This Opportunity to Laugh More"
Shinji knew that the compromises he had made in character development would leave Hundred Years' War of Evil Dragons with some narrative shortcomings.
But you can't have it both ways.
At the end of the day, FGO was a commercial film series, and certain realities were unavoidable. Shinji had to sacrifice some content in order to maintain its commercial appeal.
Of course, no matter how much screen time he cut from the other villains, Jalter herself still needed extensive development.
She was far more important than the purely combat-oriented henchmen.
The reason Shinji had Jalter appear right at the beginning of the film was to grab the audience's attention—especially longtime Fate fans—and make a powerful first impression.
"Honestly, even without having the other Servants kneel to emphasize it, just having Jalter stand there already gives off overwhelming presence."
Watching through the monitor, Shinji couldn't help but sigh in admiration as Jeanne—or rather, Miss Jeanne Alter—made her entrance.
When she was still "white," Jeanne naturally possessed a certain aura of holiness.
Whether it was because the title of "Saint" granted Heroic Spirit Jeanne a sort of divine beauty buff, or because the legend of the saint herself inherently created a sense of untouchable distance, nobody really knew.
But White Jeanne—especially in her all-white Saint Graph form—truly radiated sanctity whenever she appeared.
In fact, she possessed the sort of beauty that could even inspire thoughts of wanting to defile something pure.
It was no wonder that Jeanne's doujin count within the Fate fandom ranked somewhere above average.
That said, when most people actually stood face-to-face with Saint Jeanne, those thoughts tended to disappear the moment they met her upright and righteous gaze.
They would immediately feel ashamed of themselves and suppress their desires.
As for those who still had the courage to persist...
Shinji could personally testify that Saint Jeanne would happily persuade them to change their minds.
Physically.
When Jalter appeared, however, the atmosphere was completely different.
The contrast between her pale skin and black armor was striking.
The numerous spikes decorating the armor immediately conveyed aggression.
Combined with her rough behavior and violent expressions, she carried an aura that was both fallen and world-weary.
This was peak Alter energy.
And according to the script, before Jalter even made her appearance, she first drove her black banner pole straight through a marble floor.
Instantly, her image as a bloodthirsty destroyer was established.
Then came the summoning scene.
As Jalter recited the summoning incantation, her voice carried unwavering determination mixed with traces of hatred.
After successfully summoning the Servants, she could barely be bothered to even look at them.
That arrogant attitude perfectly demonstrated one universal truth:
When a woman is cool enough, men become completely irrelevant.
While silently admiring the scene, Shinji suddenly remembered something because of Jalter's black armor.
Taking advantage of a short break between shots, he turned to EMIYA.
"By the way, what happened with that Ferrero product-placement sponsorship I asked about earlier? Did we get it?"
"We did," EMIYA nodded.
"Since it's our second collaboration, and because FA was such a huge success, they're willing to provide seven hundred thousand dollars in sponsorship despite the chocolates not being a major prop this time."
Shinji had designed a small easter egg connecting the film to FA.
During a group meal scene, Ritsuka would hand out chocolates he brought from Chaldea.
After tasting one, White Jeanne would comment that the flavor felt nostalgic.
Now, due to a certain homunculus protagonist, many fans strongly disliked the idea of Jeanne retaining memories from FA.
But in Shinji's version of FA, Jeanne had remained completely single throughout the story.
As a result, this little callback would simply make longtime fans appreciate how much attention Shinji paid to detail.
It would also earn Hundred Years' War of Evil Dragons a little extra nostalgia bonus.
Of course, even if it was only a sentimental easter egg, the moment a chocolate brand's name appeared on screen, Shinji naturally went out looking for sponsorship money.
And don't call it shameless.
This was a Shinji Matou film.
Other companies would be lucky just to have their names appear in it at all.
As for why Ritsuka, who had effectively been abducted to Antarctica, happened to be carrying Ferrero chocolates...
That wasn't important.
What mattered was that it brought in sponsorship money.
That was enough.
It's Fate.
You don't need to explain every detail.
(Insert Shirakura-style "don't think too hard about it" face here.)
"Seven hundred thousand?"
Shinji smacked his lips.
Using the tone of a landowner lamenting hard times, he said, "It's the standard market rate, but it still feels a little low."
Considering that they just appear once, that's already a pretty generous price. How much more do you want?
EMIYA silently complained about Shinji's obsession with squeezing money out of everything.
Out loud, however, he said:
"I thought the same thing, so Ferrero offered a tiered agreement. The higher the box-office revenue, the higher the sponsorship payment."
He paused before grinning.
"As long as your movie sells well, the money will come rolling in."
Shinji's mouth twitched.
"You should really watch fewer comedy skits in the future. You're starting to sound way too much like a collaborator."
"I think you should be more concerned about whether your movie turns out well."
EMIYA shrugged and teased casually.
"You know, ever since Prologue came out, countless people have been watching this film. Both your fans and your enemies."
"If this thing crashes and burns, Shinji, you're going to die of embarrassment overnight."
"As if I'd die of embarrassment."
Shinji scoffed.
"My current status gives me plenty of room for failure."
"Even if I somehow did become a social laughingstock, I'd just use magecraft to change my face and keep making movies. Being embarrassed isn't a problem for me at all."
"So you've already planned your escape route in advance, haven't you?" EMIYA shot back.
"Anyway," Shinji continued, "for it to reach the level of a true disaster, we'd be talking about a worldwide box office under a hundred million dollars."
Rubbing his chin, he analyzed:
"Under normal circumstances, Hundred Years' War of Evil Dragons should make over a billion dollars worldwide."
"I think we should be discussing how we're going to celebrate after breaking records."
"Yeah," EMIYA sighed regretfully.
Honestly, he'd much rather see Shinji publicly humiliate himself.
What was so interesting about box-office records?
Wouldn't it be far more entertaining for a group of Heroic Spirits to celebrate their Master's spectacular social downfall?
If that happened, EMIYA might even get to drink some of the legendary wine a certain golden quintillionaire hoarded in his treasury.
Meanwhile, Charlemagne, who had been silently observing from the side, felt utterly speechless.
This bastard Shinji was treating one billion dollars as the minimum acceptable result.
Did these people think crossing a billion worldwide was easy?!
Who gave them this confidence?!
Gaia?
Alaya?
Then again...
Thinking about Shinji's previous films, whose box-office numbers had risen with each successive release, Charlemagne had to admit that for Shinji, perhaps a billion dollars really was just a small goal.
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Jeanne, meanwhile, knew nothing about her Master's "small goal."
At the moment, she was struggling desperately not to laugh.
She couldn't help it.
Setting character portrayals aside, Gilles's frog-eyed appearance was simply ridiculous.
As Gilles's comrade-in-arms and close friend, Jeanne knew very well that he had always been rather proud of his handsome appearance.
Not to the point of narcissism, certainly.
But everyone who knew him agreed that he was exceptionally good-looking.
Unfortunately, after the release of the Fate/Zero movie, public perception of Gilles had gradually solidified around one thing:
Frog Eyes.
The last time Jeanne searched for Gilles online, the very first image result had been a still from Fate/Zero.
To be fair, the actor Shinji had hired genuinely looked worthy of portraying the Baron de Rais.
The problem was those specially-made eyes.
They completely ruined his appearance.
Worse yet, the eyes could actually swivel in two completely different directions at the same time.
It was downright insane.
'I wonder how much Master hates Gilles to insist on designing him like this.'
If Shinji had heard that thought, he would have immediately protested:
"This has nothing to do with me! It's all Francesca's fault!"
Jeanne had to admit that, with proper lighting, background music, visual effects, and cinematic presentation, Gilles' appearance would absolutely earn a place among horror movie monsters.
But on set, she wasn't viewing him through the audience's eyes.
Without all the atmosphere and cinematic enhancements, his appearance just looked absurd.
If only those eyes would stop moving...
No. I can't laugh.
I have to hold it in.
Now isn't the time.
Just as the saint was desperately fighting for self-control, she suddenly realized that the actor playing Gilles had already dragged a middle-aged fat man in front of her.
We're filming already...
Jeanne hurriedly forced her expression back into something serious.
"Who are you people?!" The fat man shouted in terror after Gilles threw him onto the ground.
"Long time no see, Bishop Pierre Cauchon."
"N-No— impossible!"
The moment the bishop recognized Jeanne's face, his complexion became as pale as Jalter's.
"You died three days ago—"
"Huh?"
The bishop suddenly noticed that a steel spear had pierced through his knee.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH—!"
He collapsed onto the ground, screaming in agony.
Having lived a life of luxury and privilege, he had never experienced pain like this before.
"That won't do."
"That won't do at all."
Jeanne walked over, grabbed the bishop by the collar, and hauled him back to his feet.
"Bishop, you really need to accept reality~"
According to the script, she should have continued delivering threats while holding the bishop by his clothes.
But suddenly, Jeanne noticed Gilles standing behind him.
His head was lowered.
Yet his eyes had somehow rolled upward at an impossible angle and were staring directly at her.
...
For a split second, Jeanne felt her self-control begin to crumble.
"...Hahahahaha! Hahaha!"
Jeanne finally couldn't hold it in anymore and burst out laughing.
Under normal circumstances, Shinji should have immediately yelled, "Cut!" the moment she broke character.
However, there was one small problem.
This scene already included a moment where Jalter was supposed to laugh maniacally.
And in order to make Jeanne's performance feel more natural, Shinji had specifically given her permission to choose the most appropriate moment to unleash that laugh herself.
As a result, even though she had clearly broken character, the director didn't call for a stop.
And if the director didn't call "Cut," nobody on set dared to move.
Thus, the entire film crew—nearly a hundred actors and staff members combined—could only stand there listening as Jeanne laughed her head off.
"Hahahahaha! Hahahahahaha!"
Since I've already messed up, I might as well laugh everything out now!
This take is definitely ruined anyway.
Having completely given up, Jeanne stopped trying to restrain herself.
Throwing her head back, she laughed with all her might.
Listening to Jeanne's unrestrained cackling, Shinji slowly removed his director's hat and turned around to stare at the golden king standing near the edge of the set.
"Shinji, why are you looking at me?" Gilgamesh asked irritably.
Shinji gave him a thumbs-up.
"I was just thinking that your laugh might be way too contagious."
He pointed toward Jeanne.
"Listen to her. She's laughing so outrageously that she's starting to sound just like you."
"I feel like something isn't quite right here..."
Watching Jeanne laugh as though she were trying to vent every suppressed emotion in her heart all at once, EMIYA quietly muttered a complaint.
There was definitely something strange about this situation.
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Tn: I updated the story once every 2 days, but if you want to see more chapter of this story ahead of time, please go to my Patreon.
Latest Chapter: Chapter 476: Shirou: I'll Take Both[1]!
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