I'm Not A Master, I'm A Director
Chapter 436: This Was Kidnapping, No Question About It!
The opening of FGO: Prologue was completely different from the other Fate movies.
The very first thing the audience saw wasn't the male or female lead, but a small white creature wiggling its butt as it walked.
"Fou~ Fou~ Fou~"
"So cute! What kind of puppy is that?"
That was the reaction from most of the female viewers the moment Fou appeared.
"Did I switch to Animal Planet by accident?"
That, meanwhile, was the first thought shared by the majority of the male audience.
The difference in reactions was perfectly understandable.
The girls saw an adorable little animal at first glance, while the guys were busy wondering why none of the Servants they recognized had appeared yet.
"The introduction said the main setting is Fuyuki City… but what kind of Fuyuki City is this? A version from the year 2999? Where's my black Saber waifu?"
Sitting on the sofa, Fujita immediately started complaining.
Alice, who eternally stood on the same side as Shinji Matou, shot back instantly:
"Before the movie started, you complained that it was another Fuyuki City story and said Type-Moon had run out of ideas. Now the opening gives you new characters, and you're whining because there aren't familiar Fuyuki-style Servants. You're seriously hard to please."
Fujita didn't dare ask what exactly she meant by "Fuyuki-style Servants."
Instead, he quietly muttered: "It's mainly because this little beast just appeared out of nowhere. I have no idea what's going on."
"Then keep watching and find out!"
"…Yes, ma'am."
Fujita bitterly straightened his posture.
Sneaking a glance toward Aoko, he discovered that the second-in-command of their little group was wiping a nosebleed away with her thumb.
"Hehehe~ What an adorable little thing. There's definitely going to be plushies of it, right? When they release them, I'm buying one for suuuure~"
Fujita didn't quite catch what horrifying things Aoko intended to do with the innocent plushie afterward—and he absolutely didn't want to.
Afraid she might notice him eavesdropping and silence him permanently, he hurriedly focused all his attention back onto the television.
"Guess I have no choice but to keep watching now… Though that little thing really is kinda cute." Fujita scratched his nose. "Still, I'd rather be looking at cute Servant girls."
Unfortunately for him, his wish wouldn't be granted anytime soon.
There was still nearly half a movie left before the story even reached Fuyuki City.
On the television screen, the white beast—something between a dog and a cat—walked proudly down the halls of Chaldea with its head held high, like a lion king inspecting its territory—until it spotted a short-haired boy sprawled across the corridor, blocking the way.
"Fou?"
Tilting its head, Fou circled around the sleeping boy once before lightly sniffing him, as though trying to confirm what exactly he was made of.
"Fou!"
The little white beast nodded firmly, seemingly arriving at some conclusion.
Then it raised its tiny paw and smacked the boy hard across the face.
"Ow! What the heck?!"
The boy, who had been sleeping soundly, jolted awake from the slap. Ignoring the tiny paw print left on his cheek, he frantically looked around.
"Fou!"
The white creature let out an annoyed cry while glaring at him with utter disdain.
"S-Sorry! Sorry…"
Realizing he had been blocking the path, the boy quickly scooted aside.
"Fou~"
The fluffy white creature snorted through its nose with arrogant satisfaction before continuing down the hallway, its butt swaying side to side.
"What even was that thing…?"
Thinking he still hadn't fully woken up, the boy rubbed his sleepy eyes—only to discover that the bizarre creature that had smacked him was indeed real.
"It left… What's going on…? Yaaawn…"
Letting out a huge yawn, the boy blankly looked around.
"Hm…?"
After finally realizing he was in what looked like some kind of research facility, he asked himself the most fundamental question imaginable:
"Where is this…? Why am I even in a place like this…?"
"…Wait."
He lightly tapped his forehead with his fist, trying to recall what happened before his memory cut off.
"I remember donating blood…"
At that moment, a gentle voice interrupted his thoughts.
"May I ask you something, Senpai?"
Startled, the boy hurriedly turned around—and the first thing that entered his sight was black.
It's a pair of slender legs wrapped tightly in black stockings.
"S-Sorry! Sorry!"
The boy scrambled backward several steps before finally realizing that the one speaking to him was a bespectacled girl with short pink hair.
"Mhm, mhm. Those legs are top-tier."
Outside the screen, Shinji nodded vigorously in admiration.
"To think I managed to raise my little sister this irresistibly well… As her big brother, I'm truly proud."
"What do you mean 'raised'? You're the one who told me to dress like this in the first place?!" Sakura loudly shot back in protest.
"In order to make the stockings look their best, those things nearly squeezed my legs until they bled! Don't tell me you already forgot?!"
"Ah, I can't hear you." Shinji shamelessly covered his ears and started playing dumb.
"My little sister is adorable. The cutest in the entire world. Yep, absolutely the cutest."
The veins near Sakura's temples visibly throbbed.
"You think sweet-talking me is enough to brush this off?!"
The others nearby froze for a moment before immediately realizing what they needed to do.
"Don't hold me back!"
Arturia and Archer each grabbed one of Sakura's shoulders from either side while forcing awkward smiles.
"Sakura, calm down…"
"Let me go!"
Twisting her body desperately, Sakura tried to lunge toward Shinji.
"I'm going to show him what happens when he pushes me too far! Shinji Matou, take this!"
Archer hurriedly tried to mediate.
"Let's focus on the movie first… the movie's important… As for Shinji, you can always beat him up after everyone gets home tonight."
Of course, where there were people trying to stop the fight, there were also those happily pouring oil onto the fire.
"Sakura, using just your hands isn't enough! Pick up the sofa and smash him with it! Or grab a chainsaw and cut his legs off!"
"Merlin, shut up!"
At long last, the thoroughly exasperated Arturia finally displayed a fragment of her kingly authority.
◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆
Even though Shinji's behavior was utterly shameless, his desire to let audiences around the world fully appreciate Mashu's cuteness was completely genuine.
For that very reason, he gave Mashu an extended close-up shot lasting nearly fifteen full seconds, making sure every viewer firmly engraved the heroine's beautiful appearance into their minds.
"U-Um, Senpai~"
After the close-up ended, Mash tilted her head adorably and asked in confusion:
"You seemed to be resting, but… I don't really understand why you were sleeping in the hallway."
"Uwah…?! I fell asleep here?!"
Only then did Ritsuka scramble up from the floor, embarrassedly turning his head away.
"Yes. You were sleeping quite soundly."
Mash answered honestly without sparing him even a shred of dignity.
"So embarrassing…"
The boy felt like he was only one crack away from digging himself straight into the earth.
[Wait a second… what's with this girl? Why is she calling me Senpai? Hm… Senpai?]
Ritsuka turned back toward her.
"Have we met before?"
"No, this is our first meeting."
That answer completely short-circuited his brain.
"Then why are you calling me—"
"—Mash, there you are."
A sudden male voice rang out behind him, startling Ritsuka so badly he nearly slammed into the wall.
[What is wrong with the people in this place?! Why does everyone suddenly appear behind me when they talk?!]
Having been frightened twice in such a short amount of time, the boy was officially annoyed. He turned, ready to complain to the newly arrived middle-aged man in a suit—only to realize the man wasn't even looking at him.
"Mash, that won't do. Wandering off without informing anyone first— Oh? We have a guest."
The man finally seemed to notice the boy standing in the hallway and reached out for a handshake.
"A pleasure to meet you. Lev Lainur. You're one of the newcomers assigned here today, correct?"
"A newcomer? No, actually, I—"
"—Adaptation Number 48. Fujimaru Ritsuka, the forty-eighth Master candidate."
The man interrupted him yet again, casually stating his full name.
Hearing his own name spoken so naturally, Ritsuka slowly produced a bewildered question mark.
"…Master candidate?"
"Hmm?"
This time, it was Lev who got caught off guard.
"You… don't know anything?"
"When I went to donate blood by chance, some guy followed me all the way home. The entire time, he kept pestering me to help him with something. Since he absolutely wouldn't leave me alone, I eventually just nodded and agreed. Then he put a blindfold and noise-canceling headphones on me, and by the time I came back to my senses… I was already here."
The quieter Ritsuka's voice became, the more ridiculous his own story sounded to him.
Seriously, even a trashy light novel wouldn't use such an absurd setup!
"I see now. Understood."
The bespectacled girl nodded firmly before suddenly grabbing the suited man by the shoulders and shouting in panic:
"Kidnapping! This is unquestionably kidnapping, Professor Lev! If this goes to court, we're absolutely going to lose! We'll have to pay a massive settlement!"
Lev immediately agreed with Mash's conclusion.
"You're absolutely right, Mash. Quick, apologize! This gentleman looks very easygoing. If we apologize sincerely enough, he probably won't pursue legal action!"
Ritsuka: "..."
Watching the two of them clasp their hands together and bow repeatedly in apology, Ritsuka desperately wanted to tell them that he wasn't some merciful Buddha statue they needed to worship.
"Shinji actually filmed it like this… I wonder if people are going to start thinking the Clock Tower is full of kidnappers."
Far away in London, Waver complained to Kayneth while puffing on a cigarette.
"Last year, all the freshmen kept asking me when they'd get to summon Servants. After this movie airs, they'll probably start asking when we plan to demand ransom money instead."
Kayneth, however, remained perfectly calm. Glancing sideways at Waver, he replied matter-of-factly:
"Aren't we magi basically kidnappers to begin with?"
The cigarette nearly fell from Waver's mouth in shock.
"Professor, don't just say things like that! Kidnapping is illegal!"
Unhurriedly, Kayneth continued:
"We secretly intercept individuals with magical talent, prevent them from attending the universities they actually want to go to, and privately recruit them under our own tutelage to study magecraft."
He adjusted his posture slightly before delivering the finishing blow.
"Taking people somewhere against their will—how exactly is that not kidnapping?"
Waver: (≖_≖ )
…Professor, that makes way too much sense. I literally can't argue with that.
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Tn: I updated the story once every 2 days, but if you want to see more chapter of this story ahead of time, please go to my Patreon.
Latest Chapter: Chapter 476: Shirou: I'll Take Both[1]!
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