Note: This Chapter is Re-Translated on 6 / 15 / 2025
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Chapter 21: You're All a Bunch of Freakishly Talented Weirdos
The moment Shinji stepped into the theater, he couldn't help grumbling internally again—
'Seriously, Japan's movie equipment is ancient.'
Fuyuki's only cinema had a grand total of five screening rooms. And four of them?
Tiny. Barely enough to seat 100 people.
The one screening Fate/Stay Night was, thankfully, the largest—but even then, it only had about 300 seats.
To avoid distracting the audience during the screening, Shinji had arranged for all cast and crew, plus a few invited guests, to sit in the back rows.
The front seats were reserved for the lucky viewers who'd won the ticket lottery.
Truth be told, the Fuyuki test screening was about as barebones as you could get.
Aside from the film crew and fans, the only other people present were a few Bandai employees tasked with gathering feedback from the audience.
In Tokyo, Bandai had at least invited some entertainment reporters… though even that was mostly folks from second-rate or regional outlets.
Major newspapers like Kinema Weekly or New Times wouldn't touch a no-name film with a ten-foot pole.
As for professional critics?
Forget it.
After the disaster at the Toho screening and considering how critics generally looked down on tokusatsu films, Bandai had simply skipped inviting them altogether.
Honestly, even if they had invited them, the miserly compensation wouldn't have convinced those greedy old buzzards to show up.
Which suited Shinji just fine.
Let's be real—those crusty fossils never had anything good to say about Fate/Stay Night anyway.
No need for them to come and ruin the evening with their sanctimonious nitpicking.
Instead, Shinji was much more interested in how actual fans would react.
Excluding the crew and VIPs, this screening had invited around 230 regular moviegoers.
Most of them were aged between 15 and 45, with the older the age group, the fewer the numbers.
Other preview venues showed similar trends.
Shinji had personally provided this demographic breakdown, based on his memories of moviegoer trends from his previous life.
It was a nearly perfect representation of Fate/Stay Night's potential fanbase.
"Five minutes to go," Shinji murmured as he shifted in his seat.
He glanced back at the group of heroic spirits behind him and gave a warning look.
"I'm serious—don't any of you cause a scene during the movie! Or else I'll use a Command Seal to force-feed you mapo tofu!"
The threat worked instantly.
Thanks to Kotomine Kirei's tireless proselytizing, mapo tofu had long since gained the infamy of the most universally hated food among heroic spirits. No contest.
"Oi, Master,"
Cu Chulainn raised a hand lazily. "You know me—I don't cause trouble unless there's booze involved. All they've got here is Coke."
'So your requirement for mischief is alcohol now?'
Shinji twitched.
"I won't be a problem either," Medusa said calmly, adjusting her glasses and patting the book resting on her thigh. "I'll be reading."
'It's pitch dark in a movie theater! What the hell are you even planning to read?!'
"I'm not the type to act out. Not unless the golden guy or the blue guy starts something."
That, of course, came from EMIYA—who was clearly itching for a fight.
"Master, you know me. I never cause trouble. It's always the other guy who does."
Yan Qing said this while leisurely crossing his legs, utterly innocent.
'So… you're just planning to disguise yourself as the guy causing trouble, huh?'
Shinji's eyebrow twitched so hard it was practically doing push-ups.
"Hmph…"
"■■...."
Gilgamesh and Berserker both remained silent, each offering Shinji a single glance.
The golden king's expression screamed disdain.
As for the mountain of a man crouched in the aisle—well, he simply couldn't speak.
"Master, you know me... I... mmf mmf... just really like... mmf—"
Even mid-sentence, Arturia didn't stop munching on her popcorn.
Shinji waved his hand in defeat.
"Okay, okay, just keep eating."
'Honestly... every single one of them has their own weird gimmick. Are they really here to watch a movie?'
Shinji sighed and turned back to the screen, massaging his temples in frustration—only to notice a quiet, refreshing sight to his left.
Touko Aozaki was calmly tapping out an email on her flip phone.
"Huh? Aozaki-san, still working? That's impressive."
"No, just chatting with a friend," she replied, snapping her phone shut with a crisp click before offering him a small smile.
"I recommended this film to them, actually."
"Well, thanks a lot for that, Aozaki-san."
Compared to the chaos unfolding behind him, Touko's quiet and composed demeanor felt like a balm for Shinji's sanity.
He was deeply moved.
She curled her lips into a playful smirk.
"I'd prefer a raise over verbal appreciation, you know?"
"Ugh, not happening. I'm already working for free. Every meal I eat and yen I spend is still pocket money from the Matou family."
Shinji grimaced. "Didn't you just wrap up a big case recently?"
"I did, but the costs were steep. I'll need to restock a bunch of my supplies."
"No worries. Just file it under 'film production expenses' later."
Shinji gave her a wink and a sly grin.
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Fate/Stay Night Tokyo Test Screening
Udagawa Nao, in her role as a Bandai observer, sat scattered among the crowd alongside over a dozen of her colleagues.
Their job was simple: as soon as the movie began, they'd carefully observe the audience and jot down their reactions—when they laughed, gasped, yawned, or sat forward in their seats.
Honestly, this kind of task didn't require someone of Nao's seniority.
But Fate/Stay Night was the first major project she'd taken on since transferring to the film division.
In fact, it was her who'd personally pushed it through.
The company had spent serious money acquiring the rights to this film.
Whether or not it could succeed… even she wasn't sure yet.
And so, only by watching the audience herself—seeing their faces, their reactions—could she hope to calm the anxious storm brewing in her chest.
"Um... excuse me."
A soft voice pulled her from her thoughts.
Standing next to her were two young women—one with long crimson-red hair, the other with short black hair.
"Could we squeeze by?" the red-haired one asked politely.
"Oh, sorry!"
Nao quickly tucked in her legs and let them pass.
The redhead tugged the black-haired girl along as they settled into the seats to Nao's right.
Maybe it was the cozy atmosphere of the theater, or maybe the dim lighting helped lower their guards, but the two women soon started chatting animatedly.
Or rather—one of them did.
The red-haired woman launched into a stream of excited chatter, barely stopping to breathe.
Meanwhile, the black-haired girl offered the occasional nod or short comment, mostly just listening.
From the way they addressed each other, Udagawa Nao quickly picked up their names: the redhead was Aoko, and the girl with short black hair was Alice.
"Lucky~"
Aoko sighed in satisfaction as she put down her phone.
"Having a sister on the inside is the best. If it weren't for Touko's tip, I probably wouldn't have gotten a seat."
"Aoko..."
Sitting to the left, the soft-spoken Kuonji Alice—who carried the quiet, intellectual air of a literature girl—lowered her voice.
"Why are you so interested in this movie? Didn't Touko say she wasn't even involved in it?"
"This has nothing to do with sis," Aoko replied with a mischievous grin.
"I just wanna see what kind of movie that director—who nearly gave my old man a heart attack—is capable of making."
"It might turn out to be a complete mess," Alice murmured with a hint of worry.
"I can't imagine how a magus could possibly make a movie. Honestly, I'm starting to regret coming with you."
"Don't be like that! C'mon, it's a free screening. Might as well make the most of it." Aoko nudged her. "Here, have some popcorn."
"You know I don't like junk food."
Alice gently pushed the bucket away.
Nao, still assuming the two were just casual moviegoers, smiled faintly to herself as she listened.
She figured they were just bored by the lack of big-name stars or well-known directors.
In reality, neither of the two girls were regular moviegoers.
If Shinji hadn't made such a deep impression on Aoko during that party, she wouldn't have bothered coming at all.
As for Alice—dragged along entirely against her will—she normally avoided crowded spaces, and enclosed, packed theaters were her personal hell.
Nao eventually turned her attention away from the pair.
As more and more moviegoers trickled in, the theater's noise level steadily rose.
From the overlapping chatter, she could tell that very few in the audience were actually interested in Fate/Stay Night.
Most were just casual participants who regularly signed up for movie previews, and only came because they'd won a slot in the random draw.
Their mentality was simple: "Well, I got picked, might as well check it out."
'If that's still the mood after the screening, this film might be in trouble…'
Nao let out a quiet sigh. Even though she personally had high hopes for Fate/Stay Night, she couldn't help but worry.
Click
The theater lights dimmed.
The massive screen flickered to life.
"The movie's starting, huh," Aoko mumbled, reclining in her seat.
Not that it made much difference—she continued sipping her cola and munching popcorn like her life depended on it.
Her eyes barely flicked toward the screen.
"Hey Alice, if you're not gonna drink your cola, mind if I take it?"
She gave her half-empty cup a shake. Two-thirds gone already.
"Whatever," Alice muttered, slouching further into her seat, completely disinterested.
"Thanks~"
Aoko cheerfully set Alice's cup in the left-hand holder and planted the popcorn bucket on her lap.
At that moment, the logos of Type-Moon Studios and Bandai faded out from the screen, and the movie proper began.
"The Holy Grail War. A brutal conflict waged among magi for the all-powerful wish-granting device—the Holy Grail..."
The deep, composed voice of "Mapo Tofu Priest of Pleasure" echoed through the theater speakers—Kirei Kotomine's narration setting the groundwork for the Holy Grail War.
"Mhm...!"
Aoko took a huge gulp of cola, then shoved another handful of popcorn into her mouth.
"Hey, Alice, ever heard of the Holy Grail War before?"
After a brief pause to think, Alice replied, "Hmm… A magical ritual from Fuyuki City, right? I've heard of it in passing. It was abandoned early on because the Heroic Spirits summoned were too weak to meet expectations."
"Wait, it's actually real?" Aoko muttered, still stuffing her face with popcorn.
"That Matou brat's got guts, I'll give him that, he actually dares to put something like this out in public."
Pfft—!
Sitting next to them, Udagawa Nao struggled not to laugh.
'Are these girls still stuck in their chūni phase or something? They're treating the movie's lore like it's real life! Though… they sure got immersed fast.'
She snuck a sideways glance at Alice.
'Didn't expect this quiet bookish girl to be the fantasy type. Then again, people say literature girls are the biggest dreamers. Didn't think it'd be this intense, though…'
Unaware that they'd already been diagnosed as "terminal chūni patients" by the woman beside them, Aoko and Alice continued to casually dissect the movie's contents—like actual magi critiquing an amateur thesis.
By now, the film had reached its opening act.
Rin, having discovered a mysterious magic circle on the school rooftop, soon stumbled upon the Blood Fort Andromeda that engulfed the entire academy.
"Interesting," Aoko commented. "But that kind of bounded field usually looks impressive and does practically nothing. The mana conversion rate's probably garbage."
"Trivial," Alice summarized with a single, cutting word.
Before Aoko could respond, the scene shifted. Lancer appeared on-screen, followed almost immediately by the movie's first action sequence—a head-on clash between Lancer and Archer on the school grounds.
Aoko's brows rose sharply.
"Wonder what class these Heroic Spirits—"
She cut herself off mid-sentence.
Her eyes stayed fixed on the screen, lips still parted.
Alice, too, underwent a visible transformation.
No longer slouched and disinterested, she now sat upright, back straight, hands resting neatly in her lap.
The casual detachment had vanished. She was watching intently—focused.
Alice had never liked movies. To her, they were either noisy, childish animations or pretentious "art films" obsessed with stripping down actors for no reason.
She had never understood what was so artistic about two people's sweaty bodies squishing together. In her eyes, the magecraft world had rituals far more intense—and far more meaningful.
That's why she had always preferred books.
Books were quiet. Thoughtful. They felt like a true meeting of minds between writer and reader.
But this... this was something entirely different.
This Fate/Stay Night wasn't like any movie she'd seen before.
No long-winded dialogue. No plodding pace. No incomprehensible shots.
Just tight, engaging storytelling—and spellbinding, spectacular combat.
But more than anything, it was the magecraft.
Dazzling, intricate, impossible spells that no real-life magus could ever reproduce.
For the first time in her life, Alice was genuinely enchanted by what she saw on the big screen.
"Shinji Matou… he must be a master of magecraft…"
She whispered the words, almost reverently, as her eyes remained fixed on the glowing screen.