I knew he knew what I needed to do. So I approached him. He was still my confidant. I felt a genuine affection for him when, in a quiet hour, I asked him how he felt about being my next opponent, even though he clearly liked me. And I liked him. He was, after all, the only person I could claim as a friend. From my perspective, he was the only person I wished well. From his perspective, it must have been similar. How did he feel at the thought of having to compete with me, his student and protégé?
His answer was interesting and demonstrated his great wisdom. Only a man worthy of this high office should stand at the head of the lodge. He would do everything in his power to prevent me from taking the lead. It would not be good for the lodge, nor for me, nor for him, if I were to seize control of the lodge and the order and were not up to this great and responsible task. Since he was my friend, he had the sacred duty to prevent me from taking the most contested position in the brotherhood. If I were too weak, the top position would mean my certain death.
He had the responsibility to protect me by preventing me from accessing the highest initiations. A weak man at the head of the organization would endanger the undertaking that had been prepared for many hundreds of years: the total domination of the world. He had to defend this project.
For him, my rule meant a great loss of power and influence. If I were too weak for the great office, my character would be corrupted and he could no longer rely on my friendship. The truth that a small man who possesses power turns to evil also applies to the masters of the High Degrees. Every High Degree must be honestly and conscientiously earned. Only in this way is it possible to maintain integrity within the leadership of the brotherhood. Despite everything, he was glad that I had made it this far. He was happy to have served me to the extent that I could reach this position. But now he had to protect me with his life. He owed me that after all I had taken upon myself for his soul in past lives.
These last words were puzzling to me. I had some vague ideas of what he might mean. But even if I asked him what exactly he was talking about, he would only turn away with a knowing smile. He was right. It was his duty to let me fight for the highest office of the sacred league. For only if I was strong enough to overcome the man from whom I had learned everything was I worthy to take the leadership completely into my own hands. I had to surpass my teacher. I had to find out for myself what he had over me.
The uncle, as I called him from day one, was a wise man. He was physically fit, although he was no longer the youngest. He was extremely intelligent and quick-witted. His foresight was immense. He trained his intelligence through strategic games like chess and Gobang. He constantly practiced rhetorical debate. He mastered argumentation techniques that gave him a persuasive power that made one very quickly inclined to agree with his views. What he said made sense. I, on the other hand, sometimes spoke very circumstantiously and assumed knowledge and experience on the part of my counterpart that he did not have. I believed that everyone had to see the things I perceived. I often enforced my interests with force or cunning, less with pure persuasion.
Therefore, I never truly practiced the techniques of language. The kind reader will please forgive this generously and see my modest literary qualities compensated by the revelation of the secret techniques, which can bring him great benefit.
The uncle never seemed to act rashly. I don't remember ever having experienced him unprepared. This man had traveled far. He had studied people of other cultures. This allowed him to easily make friends with other ways of thinking. He was thoroughly adaptable. If an approach to a problem didn't seem promising, he immediately changed course. He always found a creative solution. He enjoyed the natural respect of his fellow human beings. He seemed to have only friends. Everyone sensed that this man could only mean well. At least, that's how it was for me. I liked to generalize from myself to others.
Because, just as I was, so should other people be. If something wasn't right, it was more convenient if six billion other people should change than if I had to change. So I generalized from myself to others, as all people do. I admired the uncle for his strength, wisdom, and experience.
Nevertheless, it had to be: I had to challenge him. Because I was the stronger one. After all, even the uncle had repeatedly emphasized that he had to serve me. Now he should serve me by helping me climb the last rung. If I had reached the highest degree, I could ascend into the clique of world rulers.
So I had to subdue the uncle in a fair fight. I owed it to him to give him a good fight, which he, just like me, should be able to prepare for. The time had to be coordinated beforehand. I wanted to celebrate my greatest triumph before selected witnesses.
Everything was prepared. I felt fit and alert. I felt a never-before-seen strength within me. A meeting of the masters was scheduled for the next day. I spoke to the uncle and informed him of my intention to challenge him to a test of strength tomorrow. He remained quite calm, looked at me serenely, and said casually that I should not think about a test in my current situation, where I was so sick. Me and sick? That had to be a cheap trick. I had never felt so healthy.
Upon my inquiry as to why he was trying to intimidate me with such a stupid and false remark, he corrected me. I had violated so many laws of nature that I could not be healthy. If I were to challenge him, it would be my death sentence. He was able to make my inner illness visible. I should not dare to challenge him before witnesses.
That was the hint. Not before witnesses. The uncle had managed to get me thinking. I considered. If he was bluffing, I should challenge him now, then I would know for sure tomorrow that I was superior to him. If his threat was not empty talk, I had to test it at this moment so as not to be surprised tomorrow. No matter how it turned out, I had to challenge him now. I considered this comparison a dress rehearsal. I asked the uncle to show me my so-called inner illness.
Thereupon he spat in my face, which frightened me so much that I thought my heart would stop. I couldn't breathe anymore, and my body was seized by the most violent fear. I collapsed and gasped for air like a fish out of water. Everything in my chest contracted. Then I lost consciousness. My last thought told me that I had lost the fight and must now die.
But I was wrong. I regained consciousness. My clothes were torn. I lay on a bed and had terrible pain in my chest and arms. The uncle stood by my side and immediately began to explain what had happened to me. I had to admit that once again he knew more about me than I did.
I was sick because I had disregarded certain aspects of life. I had denied the perfection of life by not recognizing all entities and properties of life as equally important. The characteristics of life that I had neglected or treated wrongly were now drawing attention to their existence and importance. They did this by striking my body with illness.
The uncle made it clear to me that every illness is caused by the patient. Whoever understands the signals of his body and recognizes what the body wants to communicate will become healthy instantly. However, the prerequisite for this is that the person, from the moment the illness leaves him, is seriously prepared to change his life. My mistake was my narrow-mindedness, my egoism.
Now my body drastically showed me that I had culpably neglected the heart in my way of life. The heart, in a figurative sense, now reported itself in its physical manifestation. It was understandable what the uncle reproached me with. Moreover, I could not deny the reaction of my body. I was sick. The uncle was undoubtedly right. I was not yet ready to challenge him. He still knew more than I did. I knew nothing of the nature of diseases and disturbances of natural processes. I had never been confronted with this area of life. I had completely excluded it from my consciousness. So fate struck me twice as hard. First, I was seriously ill, and second, the illness came over me at the very moment when I could least use it.
I was not only physically confined to bed, but I was also mentally shaken. What other uncertainties did I still carry within me, of which I had not the slightest idea? I asked the uncle to help me. He had to heal me and, moreover, tell me how I could protect myself from illness and other impediments in the future. He agreed. But I had to be prepared to radically rethink one essential point. First, however, he wanted to help me overcome the heart attack.
He helped me up and put on flaming red clothing. From now on I had to play with red things. I should look into the fire. Live out my pyromantic passions. The uncle took me outside. I should expose myself to the sun. Fire and red should heal me. I played with fire intensively and enjoyed the flames. My health improved rapidly; but I was not yet completely recovered. At least I could move and take care of myself without help. My pain was almost completely gone, and my strength and optimism returned to me. Soon I would be as strong as before the attack and even stronger. But the uncle had announced to me that I still had a lesson to learn before I could climb the next stage of mastery.
So I asked him to give me this lesson, after I had regained my strength to the extent that I was firmly convinced that I could cope with this lesson. The uncle agreed and gave me a lecture that shamed me.
Again, I had to realize that the uncle knew my life better than I did.
Until now, I had always only had my own advantage in mind. I only asked whether something was useful to me. I never asked whether the things I did were good in themselves. I only wanted to know that they were good for me.
Although this wise man was right, in my wounded pride, I contradicted him, feeling exposed in a gross inadequacy. I explained that I had also always asked whether my actions benefited the lodge. The uncle agreed, but immediately restricted himself again: If I had asked whether my actions served the brotherhood, then I would always, without exception, have had the ulterior motive of whether the well-being of the lodge could benefit me. If I had helped someone, it was only to be able to claim a service from him in return.
If I had given something, I always expected to receive more back than I had given of myself. I had constantly violated the law of giving and taking. Although I had ensured that life pulsed and energies remained in motion, I had only misused this cycle for selfish purposes. That's why the engine of my body is now playing a trick on me. I recognized this connection.
The uncle explained to me that the highest level of mastery carries with it such a great responsibility for the well-being of all people that it is unbearable for him to watch a group of narrow-minded, selfish, and brutal people seize control of the world.
Even a high-ranking politician, namely the president of the most powerful nation on Earth, had publicly stated that his politics served only the well-being of his people. Everything else, all people and nations, were at most secondary. Even such a man, who has the potential to extinguish all life on this planet for all time, is so small-minded that he only sees his group. He sees nothing more than his group – his selfish people.
*
Selfishness is when you only think of yourself. The same selfishness, albeit expanded selfishness, is when you only think of your family. Whoever thinks of his country and elevates it above all else is also an egoist. Only those who consider the whole context, in the uncle's opinion, are worthy of exercising power and dominion over others who have entrusted their lives to him.
*
I was not yet ready. I was just like the other high-ranking master craftsmen who systematically kept the earth in poverty, terror, and war. He had seen more and knew that a new era was dawning. He must not let me win over him as long as he was not quite sure that I knew what responsibility was. Only when I had understood this could I become completely healthy again.
After this speech, the uncle left me. I felt miserable. Everything I had achieved so far, all my tests, my high rank, my achievements for the lodge were worthless in the eyes of the uncle. The man, who was the only one whose opinion I valued, despised my way of life. He was even able to show me that even life itself was not in agreement with what I had achieved so far, or rather, how I had achieved it. After a long time of pride, I felt humiliated again. The man was right. He was right. He was simply right. He had delivered the reprimand in such a loving and understanding way that my pride was not so severely injured that I would have stubbornly refused and disregarded all the signals that my body had sent me. He was a first-class psychologist who, as the only person in the world, was still able to influence me. I went into seclusion and thought for a very, very long time about what the uncle had reproached me with. I initially doubted whether I would even be able to change my life, my attitude towards life and my fellow human beings, as radically as he had demanded. But what else could I do if I realized that the man was absolutely right.
to ensure that the things I did or advocated were not only good for me or my group, but also possessed inherent goodness.
***
I became completely healthy again and felt fresher than ever before. My body regained its strength. My mind relaxed, and my vision became clearer and clearer. I learned more and faster every day. I felt as if I were getting younger day by day. My mood became brighter, the nightmares stayed away for one night or another. I even experienced times when I felt truly happy. I loved the uncle and was very grateful that he felt the responsibility he had pointed out to me for me as well.
It had been the right decision to prevent me from challenging him to a power struggle.
In the following weeks, I often thought about whether it could even make sense to oust such a wise man from the top of the order. He was superior to me in many things. He possessed more experience and foresight. Why did I want to be at the top of the brotherhood when he could fulfill this task much better? When he was my friend and supported me in all decision-making struggles. Or really convinced me that my solution was only the second-best for all involved. Everything the uncle had done so far had been to my advantage. Apart from the fact that he had helped me join the lodge. But I had to forgive him for that. He was in the service of the lodge. It was his task to win me over for the brotherhood. Perhaps at that time he had not yet attained the foresight that now made up an essential part of his personality. It was pointless to think about it. I was now a member of the lodge, and the only question that remained was whether it made sense to challenge the uncle in order to gain absolute leadership over the brotherhoods myself.
I decided not to want to put myself at the top until I was sure I was the better man for the position. But things were to turn out differently. On the day after I had made this fateful decision, the uncle came to me. He told me that I was finally ripe for my predetermined mission. I had to challenge him before it was too late. He didn't have much time left to put me in the right position.
He had looked into the Book of Life and now had to reveal a final secret to me. At my first encounter with the uncanny forces, I had seen a stone tablet. This stone tablet had the property of revealing things to the person who looked at it intently that no one else could know. I would know the technique of unbiased seeing. If I applied this technique and looked at the stone with the strange engravings, vivid images would rise up in me from which I could foresee the future. If this tablet was not available to me, I could stare at something else. It just mustn't be a human being, an animal, or a living plant. But the best was the magical tablet of the Druids.
The uncle wanted to entrust me with this tablet so that it would never fall into the hands of those who misuse the earth and subjugate people. I was only allowed to bequeath this tablet to someone who had proven to be absolutely reliable. I must never reveal the true meaning of this stone to anyone.
He handed me the wooden box that had housed the tablet for a long time. I was overwhelmed by the mood of the moment. For some time now, I had not been able to enjoy these pleasant, intense feelings. I had seen and experienced too much before to be truly impressed by the events. But this hour was special. It was different.
I felt that this conversation would be the last I would have with this wonderful man, whom I always called only Uncle, as did the woman who had brought me together with him. The uncle asked me to look at the stone tablet.
I was flooded with feelings that brought tears to my eyes. I had to wait some time to compose myself. When my mind had calmed down, I looked at the tablet. Immediately, the visions began. I felt myself in an intermediate world between dream, reality, and memory. This mixed state was simultaneously unreal and real. I was condemned to pure perception and passivity. But I could clearly observe the events in all details; however, it was not possible for me to intervene.
I rushed through a whirlwind of brightly colored colors and lights, only to find myself in another body and another world. I lived through different lives that unfolded before me like a time-lapse. I was the one who lived these lives. But I looked through the eyes of the experiencer as through a long, long tube.
The events I observed were very far away from me and did not affect me. It was a past life. I experienced in fast-forward the existences of many animals and humans. Three existences left a particularly deep impression on me.
I lived the life of an Egyptian prince. The uncle was my faithful servant and teacher. When I was to be crowned king over my land, I first had to be buried alive. I died in the grave. I awoke in another existence as a priest of an old Celtic order. I studied the magic of the ancient Druids and also died here during a ritual that consisted of being enclosed in a cave.
Then I woke up from the vision. I asked the uncle what I had just seen. Were these really past lives that I had lived? The uncle said that it didn't matter at all, I should just keep looking.
The vision came alive again. I saw myself in a group of people who were very familiar to me. They urged me to be buried alive to prove that I was ripe to take over their rule. This time I survived the time in the earth and became the ruler over the people who had forced me to go underground. After that, I saw a brilliantly bright light that made me very happy. Unfortunately, the vision faded very quickly. I found myself back in my familiar world.
Again, I didn't understand the message. The uncle said I didn't need to understand; it was enough if I saw what was.
For me, the whole thing was puzzling and also unsatisfactory, because my mind demanded an explanation, which was however denied to it. I contented myself with what the uncle explained and showed me. He thanked me for always having trusted him. I should go my way and apply what I had learned. He would always be with me. Tomorrow I should challenge him and subdue him in a magic battle. From the moment I conquer him, he will constantly be in my presence, which unfortunately had not been possible for him so far. So I should bravely get to work and fulfill my sacred mission. He was sure that all the forces of the universe were my allies. Nothing could happen to me as long as I trusted life and entrusted myself to life. Fate would take its course. My last task was to accept fate and life. Then I would find the Lord of Life. He spoke a blessing over me, kissed my forehead and hands, and left.
I was completely agitated inside. What did that mean? What did he mean by that? That he only had a little time left? I was afraid of losing my last and only ally forever. The fact that he supposedly wanted to always be with me seemed little consolation at this moment. I went to bed and tried to sleep.
***
A meeting was scheduled for the next day. There was a faint vibration in the air. Everyone felt that something extraordinary was about to happen. The masters had always been very serious. But this time the atmosphere was almost depressing. Everyone only glanced into each other's eyes. Hardly anyone spoke. Everyone seemed nervous and tense. My heart was racing. We were almost complete, only the uncle was still missing. The meeting could not begin until at least seven masters were present. We waited and waited. The waiting time made the tension rise to unbearable levels. Finally, a coach stopped in front of the lodge house.
The uncle brought masters from other leagues who were to witness the magic battle. The house was bursting at the seams when the magicians were gathered in the large living room that served as our meeting place. The uncle held the highest rank. He asked for silence. Everyone was silent. We remained in absolute silence for a long time. Certainly for an hour, no one uttered a sound.
No one moved. The scene seemed ghostly. Only the quiet breathing of those present was audible. The uncle wanted to celebrate his last appearance. He wanted to make this last show very impressive.
All eyes were on him, and they waited with bated breath for something to happen that was unique in the history of the brotherhoods. Everyone knew that today was a special day. Otherwise, the old, wise man would not have gathered so many brothers around him. Otherwise, he would not insist that everyone should immerse themselves in long, deep silence. I too concentrated. For the artfully staged departure of the uncle was to be my first appearance as head of the lodge.
The uncle's flat hand slammed onto the small table that stood in front of him and served as a kind of lectern. Although the loud bang unexpectedly and suddenly tore the silence apart, no one flinched. Everyone was so concentrated that everyone was prepared for anything. Each individual was wide awake and open to everything that should happen before their eyes in these hours. The uncle spoke softly and with a gentle timbre in his voice. He looked at each person in turn. He spoke a few personal words to each. He thanked some for having accompanied him on his life's journey. He gave others tips for their future lives. Since many masters were present, this speech lasted about three hours. The high tension rose. Everyone was moved to tears. I would not have thought before this day that the people gathered here would even be capable of a positive emotional response. But today not a single eye remained dry. The uncle put his whole heart into the speech. When he had briefly addressed each person, he explained that one of those present, by which he meant me, had become so strong as to challenge him to a magic battle. He was proud to now have to fight against his own student. He would win this fight in any case.
If he proved to be the stronger one, he would have won. That was quite obvious. But if he lost, he would have also won. For a teacher who had managed to bring his student so far that this student surpassed his teacher had accomplished the highest teaching achievement. Therefore, he had reached a point today that, unlike before, only held the path of victory for him. He had thus reached the stage of completion. If I managed to subdue him, the completed one, that would only be further proof of my and thus his greatness.
Even though his explanations seemed a little contrived to me, I still had to recognize that they were quite conclusive. The others seemed to think so too. Everyone nodded approvingly and in agreement. The uncle was about to grant me an unparalleled abundance of power. I only had to defeat him in the magic battle. After our conversation the previous day, I had no doubt that he would make it easy for me to win. So I remained calm and was already looking forward to being the master of the thirty-ninth high degree.
***
When the uncle's speech was over, he looked at me very friendly and nodded encouragingly. I stood up, bowed before my spiritual master, and formally challenged him to a test of strength.
Now there was no stopping it. A challenge once issued could not be withdrawn. The moment I had challenged the power struggle, the eye beam of the most powerful man in the lodge struck my head. The pain was indescribable. My vision went black. My stomach rebelled. I almost threw up. With the greatest effort, I was able to withstand the gaze and stare into the sharp, clear eyes of the uncle. He didn't want to make it easy for me. He wanted to fight. After our conversation the day before, I wasn't prepared for that. But now I understood him instantly. He wanted the stronger magician to lead the lodge. I had to prove to him that I was. Above all, I had to show it to myself and the witnesses present. When the uncle opposed me with all his strength, my old fighting spirit awoke within me. Not only the uncle was responsible for the lodge being led by the strongest. The responsibility also lay with me. I had to win the fight.
I focused all my concentration and pumped my stream of thoughts into the uncle's brain. He was relaxed and empty. He absorbed my energy, letting it flow through him. I used up a lot of energy. He did not identify himself for a fraction of a second with the images that I wanted to project into his perception. I sent deceptive images into the consciousness of my opponent with all my might. But he was completely permeable and did not take anything from me. I increased the intensity of my mental activity. Ever wilder images, ever more fascinating thoughts, I poured over the mind of my opponent. I increased my efforts to the point of exhaustion. I exhausted myself in the production of fantasies.
Suddenly, a flood of thoughts rushed towards me. The uncle redirected the stream of my deceptions back at me. He had waited until the deceptive images were strong and realistic. He had waited until I was tired. The blows of thought that I dealt struck me myself. Thus, I was overthrown by my own thought activity. My body fell flat on its back. As I lay on the ground, I felt a pulsating pressure on my neck. The uncle attacked me.
He was stronger than me. I felt that I had made a big mistake challenging my teacher. I should have waited until I was really stronger. But in my vain pride, I had believed him and challenged him when he had suggested it to me. The whole show he had put on only served to lull me into a sense of security and to entice me to challenge him while I was still weaker than him. Now he was strangling me. Did he only want to knock me unconscious? Or would he kill me? I lay on the ground, unable to move, and slowly had my air supply cut off.
I thought in a flash. If he let me live, I could regain my strength and challenge him again later. Then he could lose his dominant position. I realized that this fight had to be a fight to the death. I felt my life force waning. I didn't want to lose. I didn't want to die. I didn't want to die such a shameful death. Strangled by the thoughts of another man. I had to defend myself. I mustered all the remaining strength that could still be found in any fibers of my body. But the stranglehold was ironclad. I couldn't get away.
An inspiration led me, from one second to the next, to give up my resistance. I let go completely, gave up, surrendered to my fate. In the same second that I renounced mental resistance, I was free. The uncle had thrown me down by turning the stream of my own thoughts against me. He held me down with my own resistance. I was fighting against myself. He knew a method of being completely empty and returning everything he received. So that's what he meant by the law of giving and taking. Soon it was as if he was keeping himself completely out of the fight. He was uninvolved. So I stopped fighting too. I could move again and had a short breather in which I could recover. I stood up and looked at the uncle with an empty mind. We stood motionless opposite each other.
We could have stood there forever. It was the classic stalemate. He didn't attack because I was probably stronger after all. His only chance was to get me to fight. That would kill me. So I had to break him out of his concentration. If I succeeded, I could subdue him with my greater strength. But I mustn't make a plan. My thoughts were an open book to this man. I knew that.
I stood face to face with the uncle and waited for an inspiration that would help me to victory. We stood motionless for hours amidst the many silent witnesses. The saving inspiration was slow in coming. What the uncle was planning, whether he was in the same situation as me, I didn't know. He had the worse position, since I was stronger than him. Though not as experienced. Both of us were used to performing concentration exercises for hours. For the onlookers, the scene must have been boring. There was no end in sight to the mutual staring until anger seized me. I didn't care what would happen now. Whether the uncle had used some unknown trick to make me lose my patience? No matter, a decision had to be made. I shot a razor-sharp thought into the brain of my opponent. But immediately let go again. The thought was deflected and came...