Chapter 8
When I woke up the next morning, it was already daylight, and Aslan was no longer beside me. I guess this time he had gotten ready and left even more quietly than the previous morning. Yesterday, we had talked for this long for the first time, and although it should have made me feel good, I didn't feel good at all. On the contrary, I felt more tense and anxious than I had the day before. What he had said, what he had done, and his promise that he would do anything to convince me would probably have sent the Selin who had first met him over the moon, but this Selin was only frightened. I couldn't forget all the things he had said to me. He had reminded me of my place at every opportunity, and now that I had decided not to put myself anywhere else anymore, he couldn't just come along and turn my entire world upside down. The days when I had tried to justify him in my own mind were long behind me. Although, even back then, I hadn't really had anything to go on. I knew nothing about Aslan. I had only made deductions based on the things I had witnessed. For example, he didn't get along with his family at all. Even though I didn't know why, he was angry with them. Especially his mother. Whenever his mother made a move to get closer to Aslan, he would suddenly turn into a wall and push her away very harshly. I didn't know why he was so angry with her, but he never wanted to include his mother or father in our lives. When we decided to get married—or rather, when I accepted this game—he had only told me one thing about his family.
"You probably won't like my mother, and she probably won't like you either. Can you deal with that?"
Honestly, back then, I had thought I would encounter a woman who would do no more than act like a meddling mother-in-law, and that I wouldn't have much trouble dealing with her. It didn't turn out that way. Aslan's mother was a complete devil. Just as Aslan had said, she hadn't liked me at all, and she had accused me of seducing her son for his money, which wasn't entirely untrue, actually. It was just that I hadn't tried very hard to seduce Aslan. At first, it had seemed reasonable to say that I wanted to marry him because I loved him, but the moment I saw my mother-in-law for the first time, I gave up on that idea. Because she had made it perfectly clear through her eyes that she hated me without even getting to know me. If I was going to fight her, I had to show her that I could be just as devilish as she was. And that's exactly what I did. She simply didn't know about the agreement between us. I told her that I loved Aslan but that I wouldn't have married him if he hadn't had money. A little lie, a little truth. It always works. She hadn't believed for a second that I loved him, so whenever I was around her, I acted even more affectionate toward Aslan. And when I was around Aslan, I acted the same way toward her. Especially when we had that car accident together, Aslan had arrived at the hospital in a panic, practically out of his mind, and had rushed to me before his mother. That had been a huge shock for my mother-in-law. But she had been even more shocked when I told Aslan, "If it weren't for your mother, we could have died. She intervened with the steering wheel at the last moment and saved us both," and Aslan thanked his mother and hugged her. She hated me, but thanks to me, she had perhaps been able to hug her son for the first time in a long while. That day, I saw a softness in that woman's eyes for the first time. Of course, she immediately pulled herself together afterward and returned to her old witchy self, but still. From that day on, I became her beloved daughter-in-law in front of her friends. She no longer tried to humiliate me in front of anyone. There were occasional little digs, of course, but come on, that's just the spice of a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship. Well, those good days had lasted until the cufflink incident. After that day, she returned to her old nasty self. At the event the following week, she had tried to humiliate me in front of her friends, but did she think an Anatolian girl would let that happen? No way. She had planned to invite me horseback riding and embarrass me in front of her friends, thinking I had never even seen a horse in my life. Of course, I had learned about this plan long beforehand because I had gotten the housekeeper on my side. I had persuaded my husband with a little flirting and a little pouting, taken him to the farm, and asked him to teach me how to ride a horse. My husband was an excellent rider. Well, what else would you expect from a rich boy? That day, Aslan and I had spent the entire day riding horses together. It had actually been a wonderful day. We had ridden through the forest and then swum in a lake. I had taken lots of pictures that day. In every single one, I was nestled up against my husband. Of course, all of it had been planned. When the day finally came for me to attend the horseback-riding event, my mother-in-law had been so certain that she would embarrass me that she had spent the entire breakfast beaming with a smug expression on her face. But that wasn't what had really driven me crazy. What had really driven me crazy was that she had invited that witch Pırıl to the place where I was going to be. She had spent the entire breakfast praising Pırıl. Apparently, she and Aslan used to ride horses together as children. And apparently, Işıl had been very talented even back then. She was an excellent rider. She participated in competitions, and so on and so forth. When rich people followed horse racing, it was a sport, but when poor people did it, it was gambling. The more she praised Pırıl, the more the last remnants of my conscience were swept away by my anger and thrown into the trash. When we moved on to horseback riding, the stable hand came over to us.
"Mrs. Selin, shall I bring the horse you rode with Mr. Aslan the other day?"
When I saw everyone's faces—especially my mother-in-law's and Pırıl's—turn purple, I was absolutely delighted. After all, I had let them have their fun up until that moment. Now it was my turn. With all the confidence I could muster, I said, "Yes, please," while praying inwardly. Hopefully, the horse wouldn't throw me off and leave me sprawled on the ground like a sack of shit. With Aslan not beside me, the horse looked even bigger to me. Telling myself that there was no turning back now, I climbed onto the horse without thinking too much about it. Fortunately, perhaps because the horse recognized me, it didn't cause any trouble at all. That witch Pırıl immediately mounted her own horse behind me and began performing maneuvers that I would never have dared to attempt. She was truly pathetic. After riding around in the forest for a while, we sat down to have some coffee. Fortunately, her friends weren't as ill-tempered as my mother-in-law. I had struck up a good conversation with them. While we were drinking coffee, that witch Pırıl said, "I didn't know you could ride a horse, Selin," and in doing so, she had handed me exactly what I wanted. That girl was an idiot. But thanks to my mother-in-law, I got an even better opportunity to strike back.
"I didn't know my daughter-in-law had these talents either. Considering the disadvantages of the place where you grew up, it's quite surprising, really. I must say, I'm impressed," she said in her snake-like voice.
The ball was in my court.
"Thank you, Mommy. It's so nice to hear that from you. It's understandable that you're surprised. As you said, considering my disadvantaged life, anyone would have assumed I wouldn't know how to do these things. But you were kind enough to invite me to your first horseback-riding event with your friends anyway," I said.
Everyone, especially my mother-in-law, understood the subtle jab hidden beneath my words perfectly. Without wasting any time, I scored my second goal against stupid Pırıl.
"My husband taught me how to ride, too, thankfully. We come here all the time. There's even a little lake we discovered in the forest. Sometimes we have picnics there, too. Of course, I'm still not as good as Aslan. After all, he had a more privileged life than I did, but the more I see how eager he is to teach me everything he knows, the more I think it's a good thing I never learned any of this before," I said.
Apart from two purple faces, everyone was looking at me with admiration. I had turned the whole show to my advantage. Stupid Pırıl made one last attempt.
"Aslan hates picnics and things like that. Since when has he started having picnics by lakes?"
That girl really was an idiot. She couldn't see that every one of her desperate attempts was only taking me higher. Without letting the smile on my face fade, I said,
"Really? That's strange. We were just here two days ago. Oh, let me show you the lake, too. You'll love it."
Then I began showing them the pictures I had taken specifically for that day with my phone. With every picture, Pırıl's and my mother-in-law's faces grew more and more sour. Everyone was talking about how well we looked together, while the two of them were seething inwardly, growing even more resentful of me. But I didn't care. They had brought this on themselves. I hadn't actually intended to show the picture after the one of the lake, but I guess I had gotten a little carried away, and although I shouldn't have done it, I swiped to the next picture as if I had done so by accident. In that picture, I was hugging Aslan from behind in the lake, and I had taken the photo while he was looking at the water. The only problem was that we were both naked. Of course, since I was behind him, none of my private parts were visible, but it was obvious from my shoulder that I wasn't wearing anything. Aslan's upper body was also exposed, even if only partially. I quickly closed the picture.
"Oh, ladies, that was an accident. That's enough," I said, and put my phone in my pocket.
Everyone had a dirty grin on their faces, and they tried to embarrass me even more by teasing me a little and saying things like, "Don't be embarrassed, darling. What's the big deal?" After that picture, Pırıl was devastated. Her face fell, and she had reached the point where she couldn't hide how upset she was. Of course, everyone noticed, and they began giving Pırıl some very unpleasant looks. The same went for my mother-in-law, of course. When it became clear that the girl she had been praising all morning had her eyes on Aslan, my mother-in-law's confidence had also crumbled. But I had warned her. I had told her that I could be a devil, too. She hadn't taken me seriously. If you're setting up a game, you need to plan for all your opponent's moves by assuming they're smarter than you are. It wasn't my fault that they hadn't done that and had fallen into their own traps. I won't lie; I had felt a little sorry for Pırıl. I had even regretted showing that last picture. After all, she loved Aslan, whereas I had married him only for his money. Until then, I had respected her and had never interfered or rubbed our relationship in her face. She was the one who kept picking fights with me. Even so, I hadn't stooped to her level, but if she had agreed to come here and become my mother-in-law's pawn, then excuse me, but I would spit that pawn out and toss it into a corner. There was a limit to everything. After all, I wasn't an angel either.
That evening, my mother-in-law launched a counterattack, of course. She immediately went and complained to her son about me. Apparently, I had shown our private photos in front of her friends purely out of spite toward Pırıl, and Pırıl had been very upset, and so on and so forth. Aslan came home that evening like a ball of fire.
"Just because we had one good day, is this how spoiled you're going to get? Leave these inconsiderate antics behind you. You're only here to represent me."
I, like an idiot, had tried to explain to him the trap his mother had set for me. In return, he hadn't listened to me at all and, as always, had reminded me of my place. From that moment on, I stopped trying to explain myself. I simply looked at him and said,
"What did you expect? That the girl you picked up from a working-class neighborhood would change in a single day? If you wanted someone so well-mannered and restrained, you should have married poor Pırıl, who's been shedding tears over you. I'm sure she would have given you all the refinement you wanted."
That was the first real comeback I had ever given him. I usually didn't defend myself against him, but this time he had gone too far. He had attacked me without even listening to me. I shouldn't have done it, but I couldn't hold myself back. Aslan was momentarily taken aback by my response. It was a very brief moment, but I noticed it. I could even say that he liked seeing me bring out my claws to defend myself, but—
"If you didn't marry me to leave that working-class neighborhood behind, then why did you marry me?" he said.
That's when I realized that, in his eyes, I could never be anything more than that. I was just a toy, a gold digger. As long as he paid for me, he had the right to use me however he wanted. Even though it hurt my pride deeply, I couldn't be angry with him. I had given him that right myself. I had put myself in this situation. So I didn't answer. I put on the familiar fake mask on my face and said,
"Let's not ask questions we already know the answers to, darling husband."
Because he didn't deserve anything more than that. I could still keep the real Selin to myself. He couldn't buy that Selin. He didn't deserve anything more than an emotionless robot he had paid for. He had wanted to buy a toy that wouldn't break, no matter how roughly he treated it. In that case, I wasn't going to give him anything more.
That was why I couldn't trust anything he was doing now. Because, in his eyes, I would always be this person. I was tired of him pushing me outside the boundaries between us every time I got close to him and crossed those boundaries even a little. That's why I thought he had started getting bored when I finally stopped doing that. Maybe he had deliberately set up this game so that I would grow close to him again and cross the boundaries between us. That way, he could push me away again. Yes, yes, all that nonsense about becoming a family was because of this. Our relationship had become boring for him, and all he wanted from me was to play along with him again.
This time, I wasn't going to give him what he wanted. After all, our agreement could now be considered broken. He couldn't expect to receive a service he hadn't paid for. I just had to wait a few weeks for him to get bored. When he couldn't get what he wanted, he would give up on this game anyway.
Fine, all I had to do was wait, but I couldn't sit around the house all day either. I was going to explode from boredom. I needed to find something to occupy myself. There was still time before Aslan came home. I had eaten something using what I found in the refrigerator, but I would get hungry again by evening, and I couldn't eat sandwiches morning and night. I couldn't cook either. That would make things easier for Aslan. At least until I won the bet, I had to make his life difficult. We would think about what came after that later. Two days had already passed. After yesterday's back pain, working again today would definitely finish Aslan off. I hoped his sudden outbursts of anger would work in my favor this time and that he would get angry and we would go back home.
There wasn't much I could do here, either. I had no money to spend, and I was sure Aslan hadn't received his salary either. Although, I wasn't even sure whether people working in construction were paid a salary. Anyway, I needed to find something to keep myself occupied until payday.
What should I do?
What should I do?
When I was poor, I hadn't done much besides work. Maybe I should knit something? No, that was such a grandmotherly activity.
As I sat there thinking, what Defne had told me yesterday came to mind. She had asked me to help her get together with Aslan's friend Murat. Should I do it, I wondered? I really didn't feel like getting involved, but it would keep me from getting bored, and it wasn't a bad thing to help people who were in love. The little foxes in my head immediately emerged from their hiding places. Should I call Aslan, I wondered? What was he doing?
I'll just call him. What's the worst that could happen? After all, it was his fault that I was bored. He couldn't get angry with me for finding something to occupy myself with. I picked up my phone and called Aslan. He answered on the second ring. Was he waiting for my call?
"Yes, sweetheart?" he said in a calm voice.
I glanced at my phone to check whether I had called the wrong person. Why had he suddenly started complimenting me every other minute?
"Your sweetheart? Me?" I asked involuntarily.
"Who else am I going to call sweetheart if not my wife, Selin?" he said irritably.
Didn't he realize that acting as if we were an ordinary married couple was driving me crazy?
"It's not something I'm used to hearing, but you've called me sweetheart twice now. I'm surprised, that's all," I said.
I heard a quiet chuckle from the other end of the phone.
"Fine. You'll get used to it from now on. You'll hear it all the time," he said.
It would have been more accurate to say not all the time, but until he got bored, of course.
"Well, I'm not going to get myself used to just anything. Most things don't last," I said.
I couldn't resist getting a little jab in, either.
"I don't think you should get too used to that idea. You never know with these things. Before you know it, you'll have gotten used to it," he said knowingly.
My husband was so arrogant.
"We'll see, darling. We'll see. Anyway, I just called to ask what you were doing," I said.
If I asked him directly right away, he would figure it out immediately.
"So you're bored," he said.
Had he installed cameras in the house or something?
"I'm stuck here because of you. And now I'm the one at fault for being bored? You're the only one to blame," I said, raising my voice.
I had overreacted a little, but he deserved it. Besides, being argumentative was a good thing. I could immediately turn the tables in my favor.
"Calm down. I didn't say anything. I just guessed you were bored because you wouldn't even touch a piece of trash in the house out of sheer stubbornness," he said.
Was he expecting me to do the housework, too?
He could keep waiting.
"Of course I won't touch anything. Everything is your responsibility, not mine. What happened to what you said last night? You told me I could sit around all day as long as I opened the door. You've given up on that pretty quickly, I see," I said.
"When it suits you, you hear what I say so well," he replied.
"So, I've called my husband as a good wife would, wondering what he's doing, and look at how he treats me. I think we should add a point to my score and deduct one from yours," I said.
This time, he laughed a little louder.
"No free points, but you're right. I can see you're making an effort. Besides, I've stopped working too, and here I am, talking to my wife like a high school teenager in the middle of fifty men. I think it would be unfair to deduct a point from me," he said.
This time, I was the one laughing. It seemed like he was making an effort.
When he heard me laugh, he said,
"See? That's definitely a point."
He laughed.
When this game between us ended, I would miss these phone conversations.
Anyway, I had strayed too far from the subject.
"Fine, take your point. What a cheapskate you are. I was going to tell you something, but you made me forget," I said.
What was it with these points? He just wouldn't let it go. Anyway, I would get my revenge on him that evening.
"Tell me, my wife. I'm listening," he said immediately.
He was really getting carried away with all this sweetheart and wife business. Let's see how this turned out.
"Well, I was going to say something. So, I was thinking..."
"Here comes the bombshell," he said, letting out a deep breath.
"What bombshell, Aslan? Am I not allowed to think?" I immediately retorted.
"Of course you can think, you can think. But your thoughts always lead to things that will end up making me angry," he said.
"No, that's your caveman attitude. I had good intentions for once."
"Fine, I'm listening, my well-intentioned wife. Go ahead."
"So, you know that friend of yours, Murat? Well, I don't know him," I said bluntly.
Had I approached the subject the right way?
"Don't get to know him, Selin. What are you going to do by getting to know another woman's man?" he said grumpily.
That's what I mean when I call him a caveman.
"Why shouldn't I get to know him? Doesn't a person get to know her husband's friends? Even the neighbors know you're friends, and I have to learn about it from them. This is absolutely unacceptable. It doesn't make sense at all. Besides, why don't you want me to meet him? Listen to me, Aslan—"
"Hold on. For God's sake, my brain has gone numb in two minutes. Fine, you'll meet him sometime," he said, cutting me off.
Perfect. I had worn out his patience, confused him, and gotten the answer I wanted. I'm such a clever woman.
"No, no. Invite your friend over for dinner tonight, along with his family. He arranged things for us, found the house, and his family hosted me and gave me dinner yesterday. We could thank them, too," I said.
It wasn't a lie, after all.
"For dinner? What happened to you yelling a moment ago about not lifting a finger to touch a piece of trash? What are you planning, Selin?" he asked, his voice growing stern.
He was suspicious, but it wasn't as if I had anything to be afraid of.
"What would I be planning? Nothing at all. I'm over here getting excited about preparing a nice meal and hosting guests in our home, and yet I still can't please you. You've ruined my enthusiasm. Fine, don't invite them. Keep your friend all to yourself," I said sadly.
Of course, I was only pretending.
"Our home?" he repeated meaningfully.
Now it was time to deliver the final blow with a little flirtation.
"Isn't it?" I asked.
"You're very dangerous."
"And you're very handsome, my dear husband," I said coyly.
"Good heavens. Fine, I'll invite our guests for this evening. I hope you have dinner ready."
Finally!
"Leave that to me, darling husband. I'll invite Pınar and the others, and you can tell Murat. Just make sure you buy some bread on your way home," I said.
I couldn't be bothered to deal with the grocery store as well.
"All right, I'll get some. I have to hang up now. If you need anything else, there's a grocery store's number on top of the refrigerator. Call them and have them add it to my account. I'll pay when I get home this evening," he said.
Where did he get money from? Anyway, I would find out that evening.
"All right, darling husband. Good luck with your work," I said and hung up.
Now that I had taken care of the difficult part, the next step was to invite Defne. She could come and help me, for goodness' sake. I was going to all this trouble for her. Although, how was I going to let her know? I wished I had gotten her number. But Pınar could tell her, couldn't she? It would be best if I went over and invited them.
I left the house and knocked on the door next door. Hopefully, Pınar would answer. What would I say if her father or someone else opened the door? I had door-knocking anxiety. I would freeze up and be unable to speak. Fortunately, the door opened before I had to wait long, and Pınar was standing there.
"Selin? Welcome! Come on in," she said with a smile.
She was such a warm-hearted girl. You would think people would be a little more suspicious. Why was she so trusting?
"No, Pınar, I won't come in. I came because, well... Do you have Defne's number?" I asked.
Of course she did. I had only asked to start the conversation.
"Of course I do. What's wrong? Did something happen?" she asked.
I moved a little closer to her and lowered my voice.
"No, no, nothing happened. You're all invited to dinner at our place this evening. I also remembered what Defne and I talked about yesterday. I wanted to invite her too, but I don't have her number, so I thought I'd tell you and you could let her know," I explained.
Pınar nodded as if she understood.
"You shouldn't have gone to all this trouble. We're only on your second day here; we should have been the ones inviting you over," she said.
"Oh, don't say that. You hosted me so wonderfully yesterday, and I also wanted to get to know Aslan's friend a little better," I said.
"All right, then. Oh, I love visiting newlyweds! I'll call Defne, then. She'll come right over. After that, we'll come and help you," she said.
"There's no need to trouble yourselves. I'll take care of everything," I said purely out of politeness.
But I wouldn't be able to handle everything on my own. The house was clean, though, so there was that.
"No, that's not happening. We'll all come over and take care of everything together," she said.
Well, if she insisted, what could I do? I couldn't turn her down.
"All right, then. I'll get going. After all, I have guests coming this evening," I said with a laugh.
She played along and replied,
"All right, Mrs. Bride. See you!"
Then she closed the door.
I went back inside and spent some time thinking about what to do. The refrigerator was full of everything I needed. While waiting for the girls to arrive, I took out the meat and used the air fryer to defrost it—I had no idea where Aslan had gotten the idea of using an air fryer from—and while the meat was defrosting, I chopped potatoes, onions, eggplants, and peppers. A meat-heavy casserole would be perfect. Once the meat had defrosted, I put the casserole on the stove. While it cooked slowly, I would take care of everything else. I would have the girls make the rice and dessert. I would also serve salad and water börek. There, a wonderful menu. The soup was easy anyway.
By the time the doorbell rang and the girls arrived, I had already kneaded the dough for the water börek. I was wondering why they were taking so long when I opened the door and saw Defne wearing a full face of makeup. Then I understood why. This girl really was a little over the top.
"Oh, my dearest friend, the closest of the close, the friend beyond my very soul! I've missed you so much. Come here, let me hug you!" she exclaimed, immediately throwing herself around my neck.
Her cheerfulness made Pınar and me laugh. Still laughing, I looked at Pınar and said,
"Look at how quickly I won you over!"
Pınar continued laughing and said,
"I swear, I'm amazed at how easily I sold myself out."
I managed to pull away from Defne, who had practically glued herself to me.
"Girl, you're suffocating me. And I smell like food, too," I said.
She reluctantly let go of me.
"I honestly don't know how to thank you," she said.
"Well, if you make the soup, we'll be even," I replied.
At that, Pınar and Defne exchanged glances. As they looked at each other hesitantly, I said,
"Don't tell me you don't know how to make soup."
When Defne started looking up at the ceiling, I said,
"Oh, come on! I invited you here to show off your skills, but where are they?"
I waved my hand dismissively. I mean, when food was one of the easiest ways to win over a man, if she couldn't even manage that, she was in trouble.
Although I had never cooked for Aslan either, but my talents in other areas...
Anyway, that wasn't the point.
"For the sake of our own health, I think we should keep Defne out of the kitchen," Pınar said with a slight grin.
Defne put on a fake, offended expression.
"Oh, come on! Am I really that bad?" she asked.
"You're worse than that, sweetheart, but never mind. At least you have a good heart," Pınar replied.
Defne narrowed her eyes.
"What is this, consolation for the poor?"
I couldn't hold back my laughter. At least she was funny. That was a big plus, too.
When Pınar started laughing as well, Defne said in a slightly tearful voice,
"Oh, come on! I thought we were sisters, but it turns out you're traitors!"
I barely managed to pull myself together.
"Oh, we've laughed so much. Come on, we've been standing at the door long enough. Get inside," I said, and we went into the kitchen together.
As the girls looked around, Pınar said,
"This place looks beautiful. There's no trace of what it used to look like."
I didn't know what it had looked like before, but judging by their surprise, this must have been quite an old house.
"It really is beautiful. And it smells wonderful, too. What's cooking?"
Defne approached the stove and lifted the lid of the casserole dish.
"I don't know whether you'll like it, but I've made a meat casserole," I said.
They had better like it. I'd put so much meat in it.
"This looks more like meat with a little casserole on the side. Goodness, you certainly haven't been stingy with the meat," Defne said suggestively.
Had I overdone it?
"Oh, come on. I don't have guests over every day, so I wanted to make an effort. Pınar, you know how to cook, I assume?" I said, quickly changing the subject.
Otherwise, we'd end up getting into an argument over the meat or something.
"Of course I do, dear. Shall I make the rice?" she asked.
Clever girl. She immediately understood that I was going to have someone make the rice.
"Sure. You make that, and I'll make the water börek. Defne, you can..."
What could I possibly give her to do?
"I'll make dessert. I'm good at that," she said.
I looked at Pınar in disbelief. She nodded to confirm it.
"That's true, that's true. No one can beat her when it comes to chocolate desserts," she said.
Well, at least she wasn't completely useless.
"All right, then. Everything is in the refrigerator, including chocolate and all that. Just do whatever you like," I said.
Each of us took care of one thing, and we finished everything in a short time. The water börek alone had nearly finished me off. When the girls asked why I had decided to make it, I brushed off their questions, but the real reason was obvious.
My husband liked it. What could I do?
He didn't deserve it, but my soft heart simply wouldn't allow me to do otherwise.
Once everything was finished, I made coffee for the girls and went into the living room. While we were drinking our coffee, I asked,
"Girls, why didn't Tülay come?"
Tülay had completely slipped my mind.
As soon as I asked, Defne's expression fell.
"Don't ask. Our beloved brother-in-law has arrived," she said sarcastically.
Apparently, nobody liked this brother-in-law.
"Then let's invite them over, too. We could get to know them," I said.
I was curious about this brother-in-law.
"Oh, no. Please don't invite him. I can't stand that man for even one more second," Defne said angrily.
"I've become really curious about him. It seems like nobody likes him," I said.
It wouldn't hurt to hear a little about him.
"Oh, Pınar, you tell her. I get even angrier every time I think about it," Defne said.
She really didn't like this man at all.
Pınar let out a deep breath.
"I don't even know where to begin," she said, pausing.
Perhaps she was trying to decide what she could tell me and what she shouldn't, since it was Tülay's private life.
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. Maybe you don't want to talk about it because Tülay isn't here," I said.
I wouldn't want my private life discussed when I wasn't around, either. Yes, I was curious, but I could wait.
A distant smile appeared on Defne's face.
"Don't worry. Everyone already knows about it anyway. My sister doesn't even care about keeping it a secret anymore. That bastard and his family have driven my sister crazy," she said.
It was hard not to be curious after she put it that way.
"Actually, Tülay is a very strong person, you know? She's funny, cheerful, and she listens to you and tries to understand you without judging you. You saw our mother yesterday. Aunt Aynur is a difficult woman. My aunt Aynur's side of the family is, how should I put it, rather conservative. Tülay went through so much because of them. They were always telling her what to wear, what to do, and what not to do. They never gave that girl a moment's peace. Their father, Uncle Kerim, is a very good man, but Aunt Aynur's word is law in that house. Anyway, despite all of that, Tülay never bowed down to them, even if she had to fight them every step of the way. They have an uncle—sorry, Defne, but he's a complete bastard."
She paused, apparently to keep herself from saying something even worse. When I glanced at Defne, she nodded and said,
"Even bastards would kneel before him. That's how bad they are."
Thank goodness I didn't have any relatives. In our country, the evil that comes from relatives can be worse than anything that comes from a stranger seven generations removed.
"If you asked him, he'd claim to be the very embodiment of honor, but only when it comes to women. He's very good at policing women's honor, but when it comes to men, everything is allowed. Apparently, everyone is supposed to look after their own daughters. Look at me, I'm getting angry again. My brain is going numb. Anyway, he kept calling Aunt Aynur, telling her to keep an eye on Tülay, that times were dangerous, that she should send her daughter to an all-girls high school, and that she shouldn't let her go out too much. He kept filling her head with these things, and Aunt Aynur, being exactly the sort of person she is, would then come down on Tülay. That's why Tülay doesn't reveal her true personality very much to outsiders. She appears more reserved and cold from the outside. It's because of her mother. Thankfully, she never gave up despite them. She studied hard and became a teacher," she said.
Tülay worked? She certainly didn't seem to have the confidence of a working woman.
"Really? What kind of teacher?" I asked, interrupting.
"She studied mathematics and then became a teacher after completing the teaching certification program. She took the KPSS exam in her first year, but she couldn't get a placement. They made that year a living hell for her, anyway. I don't think Aunt Aynur wanted her to get a teaching position. She kept piling chores on her, but if Tülay went out even for one day, she'd say, 'You aren't studying. You have no intention of studying,' and completely wreck the girl's mental health."
"When it comes to her own responsibilities, she probably doesn't remember that exams even exist," I said angrily.
I hated mothers like that. Sometimes I actually thought it was a good thing that I didn't have a mother.
"Exactly. And then there were Tülay's aunts, too. They kept telling her that she was getting old, that she should get married before it was too late, and that the men who came to ask for her hand later would be divorced. They kept showing her potential husbands with all sorts of ridiculous arguments. If you saw the men they introduced her to, you'd be horrified. God forgive me, but one was fat, one was bald, and one was as backward as they were. Tülay, on the other hand, is as beautiful as a piece of the moon. Anyone with eyes could see that those men weren't worthy of her. Anyway, after a year that passed like a living hell, Tülay naturally failed the exam. This time, the same things started happening to her, only much worse. Then they introduced her to this brother-in-law of ours, Erdinç. To be fair, he was the best-looking of the men they'd shown her, but don't get the wrong idea and imagine he was incredibly handsome or anything. Tülay agreed to talk to him partly to escape all that pressure and partly because he was the most presentable of the men they'd introduced her to. I swear, they talked for a month at most, and then they immediately decided to get married. I don't know what happened or how it happened, but it was as if a veil had fallen over Tülay's eyes. We tried to warn her countless times, but every single time, she defended that man. We told her he didn't have a job, and she said he'd work in his father's business. We told her she would be living in such a tiny place outside the city and that she wouldn't be able to handle it, but she talked about it as if it were paradise. You wouldn't believe it. When we went to help her settle into her house, I couldn't believe my eyes. It was literally a village. She accepted everything they told her. They didn't even have a wedding. They had a simple civil ceremony and served food outside their house. Everyone who came expecting a wedding was shocked, of course. Anyway, somehow they got married. The real problems began after that. This..."
Just as I was completely absorbed in the story, listening to Pınar while cursing the man in my head, the doorbell rang.
Was this really the right time? They had arrived right at the most exciting part.
"Aslan must be home. Girls, take your coffee cups to the kitchen while I answer the door," I said.
I felt very sorry for Tülay, and I understood Pınar all too well. She had seen her husband as a way out, so she had found an explanation for everything in her own mind and refused to let that image shatter. I understood her so well. I had seen the same thing in the girls at the dormitory. They were all looking for an escape, a home where they could be happier. That's why they clung tightly to men who weren't right for them and couldn't see what a disaster those men actually were. The strange thing was that I had always thought the reason for this was that we didn't have a family, but after hearing about Tülay, I realized that a person could feel just as lonely and helpless even when they had a family.
I hurried to the door. It was quite late, so perhaps Aslan was standing outside. We all got up together, and when the girls went into the kitchen, I opened the door.
My guess was right. My husband had arrived. There was also a tall, dark-haired man beside him, who had to be the famous Murat.
He was certainly a handsome guy, but he couldn't exactly shine next to my Aslan.
"Welcome," I said with a smile.
Aslan's furrowed brows softened when he saw me.
"Thank you, sis-in-law," Murat said.
I stepped aside to let them in. Murat entered first, followed by Aslan. I took out a pair of slippers for Murat to wear. Then I took out another pair for my husband and placed them in front of him.
Aslan raised one eyebrow and looked at me as if he were surprised.
What, was there a rule that slippers had to be provided in rich people's houses, and I hadn't provided any?
Aslan put on the slippers and held out the bag in his hand to me.
"Here you go, Mrs. Selin. Your order has arrived," he said.
Then he turned to Murat.
"Murat, this is my wife, Selin. Sweetheart, this is my friend Murat, the one you've been so curious about. Let's see whether he's an honest man or a thief," he said.
I couldn't believe it. Had he really told Murat what I'd said, like a pair of gossipy housewives?
When I looked at Murat in shock, unable to figure out how to recover, I saw him laughing and felt relieved.
His friend was just like him. They were teaming up to make fun of me.
"Aslan, you're terrible! I only said that as an expression. Don't take it personally, Murat," I said anyway.
He didn't seem offended, but still. Once the guests left, I knew exactly what I was going to do to that scoundrel Aslan.
"No, sister-in-law, you're right. Of course I'm not offended. Honestly, it's Aslan's fault. We've been friends for all these years, but it never occurred to him to introduce us," he said.
That's right. Once again, it was all Aslan's fault.
"Exactly! Don't look at me like that. If I hadn't insisted so much, he still wouldn't have introduced us," I said, playing along.
Aslan frowned.
"If you're done talking behind my back, let's go inside," he said.
I left the bag in the kitchen and went into the living room with the girls. When Aslan saw the table, he stood there staring. He looked at the table, then at me, his eyes narrowed.
This feast was a heavy blow to my husband, who had spent years thinking I couldn't cook.
Now it was my turn to grin mischievously.
When Murat saw the girls beside me, he began looking at us in surprise from where he sat. More precisely, he was looking at Defne.
Tonight was clearly the night of surprising the men.
I slipped my arm through Aslan's and said,
"Darling, let me introduce you to the girls. You probably already know Pınar, and this is Defne, Murat's younger sister, the other neighbor I met yesterday. You know how I told you about Güneş? Well, Defne is Güneş's aunt. Thankfully, she came to help me. If she hadn't, I wouldn't have been able to get anything done in time."
I'd begun my little operation to praise Defne. Although Defne hadn't helped much with the cooking, she had tidied up and made the dessert. Those were not insignificant contributions. If she hadn't been there, we would have had to do those things ourselves, too.
"Welcome," Aslan said.
All right, my husband wasn't very polite toward people outside our home. He could look a little intimidating and make the other person nervous, but that was just his personality.
The girls had probably expected my husband, whom I had praised to no end, to be a warmer person. They were taken aback by his cold and distant attitude, but quickly recovered and said,
"Thank you, big brother Aslan."
Not wanting to embarrass them any further, I intervened.
"Come on, sit down. You two sit next to Murat, and Aslan, help me bring out the food, darling. Aunt Nermin and the others will be here soon," I said.
Of course, my real aim was to leave Defne and Murat alone.
Ever since Aslan had arrived, he had been looking at me suspiciously. He was trying to figure out what was behind my sudden hospitality.
I mean, was I not allowed to entertain guests?
"If you need help, I can come," Murat offered.
Pınar had sat down next to her brother, while Defne had taken the seat diagonally across from them. Murat had leaned back against the armrest, and Defne, naturally, had seized the opportunity. She practically glued herself to the far corner of the other sofa, getting quite close to Murat.
"No, brother, you two sit down. We'll take care of it," Aslan said.
Should I have been worried about that suggestive tone in his voice?
No, I wasn't worried at all.
Ignoring his looks, I went into the kitchen with him.
The moment Aslan entered the kitchen, he said,
"I swear, my eyes are filling with tears."
He walked toward the food. As he opened the pots and looked inside, he said,
"No, you definitely called someone to come to the house. There's no other explanation for all this food. Did you call Mrs. Çiçek or something?"
My poor, naive husband didn't know his wife at all.
I simply gave him a smug smile and took the börek out of the oven, where I'd put it to keep warm.
Aslan's eyes practically lit up when he saw the börek in my hands.
Now that's how you leave a man speechless!
He immediately came over to me.
"Am I seeing this wrong?" he asked.
Poor thing. I should cook for him once in a while.
"What, darling?" I asked, pretending not to understand.
At the same time, I was placing the pieces of börek I'd cut onto a plate.
"Girl, did you really make all of this? Tell me the truth," he said in astonishment.
"Who else would have made it, Aslan, besides me?" I said, continuing my act.
"For God's sake, if you could cook all this time, why didn't you? And you can even make water börek!" he said, reaching for a piece.
I immediately smacked his hand.
"For God's sake, what kind of language is that? You're so rude. And don't start getting carried away, Aslan. We'll all eat together at the table," I said.
I'd worked too hard for him to pick at it before dinner.
"Could I at least have one piece? Didn't you make it for me anyway?" he asked.
Where on earth did he get this confidence?
As if that were true.
Not entirely true, anyway.
"Where did you get that idea, if you don't mind me asking? I made this for my guests," I said.
Of course, I was going to deny it to the very end. He might start thinking I cared about him and get carried away.
If he started thinking he'd gotten what he wanted...
Anyway...
"So you didn't think of me at all while making my favorite dish?" he asked arrogantly.
At the same time, he had moved even closer to me. I could feel his breath against my ear.
"No, you didn't cross my mind at all," I said with a shrug.
He kissed the shoulder I had shrugged.
"Not even once, huh?" he said suggestively.
What had happened now? How had we ended up like this in just two minutes?
He wasn't even embarrassed in front of the guests inside.
"Well, it turns out you don't know everything about your wife wrong," I said.
I was so stubborn. The man had already figured it out. Why was I still denying it?
"That's true. What can I do? My wife doesn't let anything slip, even when she gives everything away," he said.
You should try earning it first. Then we'll see whether you can get me to open up.
Of course, I wasn't going to say that to him.
Instead, I picked up the plate full of börek and said,
"You see, darling husband? I'm collecting all the points, while you've still got nothing."
Then I sashayed out of the kitchen without even looking at him.
All I heard behind me was a deep sigh.
There was a foolish grin on my face, but I quickly composed myself before entering the living room. I couldn't embarrass myself.
When I went inside, Pınar was talking to her brother, while Defne was watching them innocently.
Why wasn't she putting herself out there, too? How was the man supposed to notice her if she just sat quietly in the corner?
Although, it was practically impossible not to notice the way she was looking at him, but anyway.
When Aslan and I brought out the rest of the food, accompanied by his admiring glances, the doorbell rang.
It really couldn't have rung at a better time.
When Aslan headed toward the door, I followed him. After all, I was practically a newlywed. I was supposed to be there to welcome the guests.
When Aslan opened the door, there was a man standing in front whom I hadn't met yet but assumed was Aunt Nermin's husband. Aunt Nermin stood right behind him, holding a plate of stuffed vine leaves.
When the man saw Aslan, his expression softened, and he smiled.
"My Aslan!" he said.
Aunt Nermin had the same look in her eyes.
Did they really love Aslan that much?
Aslan responded to the man.
"Welcome, Uncle Mehmet," he said.
As soon as the man stepped inside, Aslan hugged him.
Why had my husband suddenly softened like this?
Aunt Nermin followed her husband inside and closed the door. The poor woman was left standing there with the plate in her hands.
I immediately took the plate from her.
"Welcome, Aunt Nermin. You shouldn't have gone to all this trouble," I said, hugging her.
The woman immediately matched my warmth.
"Oh, come on, dear. What trouble? It's the first time we're visiting my son Aslan's house. How could we possibly come empty-handed?" she said.
At that moment, Uncle Mehmet spoke.
"My goodness, our daughter-in-law is beautiful and quite the homemaker, too, it seems. She's already hosting us so soon after moving in."
Naturally, I immediately slipped into my newlywed-wife role and kissed his hand.
"We haven't met before, sir. I'm Selin. I'm glad you came," I said.
When I glanced at Aslan from the corner of my eye, he was grinning to himself.
That scoundrel.
He liked seeing me play the demure, well-mannered wife.
He would definitely tease me about it later.
"Wonderful, wonderful! Aslan, you've really hit the jackpot this time," he said, looking at Aslan.
I subtly raised my eyebrows at Aslan, giving him a look that said, "See? Look at that."
He immediately understood.
"That's right," he said.
Only I understood the implication in his tone and the look in his eyes.
He seemed very pleased with himself.
Even a single look from him, or the meaning behind one word he said, could affect me before I even realized it.
Maybe I was a little naive, too.
But only when it came to Aslan.
To escape that effect and avoid embarrassing myself in front of all these grown-ups, I said,
"We're all standing here. Come on, let's go inside," and gestured toward the living room.
Uncle Mehmet and Aunt Nermin went in first, while Aslan and I stayed behind them.
I gave Aslan a slightly flirtatious look and said,
"All the points are going to me, darling husband."
I was really flirting with my husband now.
And it wasn't even because I felt obligated to act that way, unlike before.
I...
For the first time, I was behaving exactly as I felt.
Aslan's gaze immediately deepened. Then his brows furrowed, and he took a deep breath.
Oh, was he getting angry now?
"Girl, if you don't want to see what a real score looks like, don't flirt with me until our guests leave," he said.
What did that have to do with anything?
I had behaved naturally for the first time, and look at what he was doing.
His unpredictable behavior always threw me off balance, too.
He had ruined my mood.
"You're the one at fault for making me act affectionately toward you," I said sharply.
I had just turned to leave him behind when he grabbed my arm and practically pulled me against him.
I almost dropped the plate of stuffed vine leaves in my hands.
Thankfully, Aunt Nermin had covered it with plastic wrap.
"For once, understand what I'm actually saying," he said.
And at that moment, I felt the real reason right against my backside.
The man was practically ready to sprout wings and fly.
And here I was, thinking something else.
I was sure my cheeks were red with embarrassment.
"All right, I understand. How was I supposed to know that even something this small would make you react like that? I'm going inside. Pull yourself together and follow me," I said quickly.
Without looking at him or giving him a chance to say anything, I hurried away from him.
Oh, if only we could get through this evening without embarrassing ourselves.
When I went inside, everyone was already sitting on the sofas, waiting for us.
"Come on, let's go to the table. Aslan is washing his hands and will be here shortly," I said.
Why was I giving them this unnecessary detail? As if anyone had asked.
Everyone got up and headed toward the table. I pointed to the seat beside me with my eyes, signaling to Defne.
She tilted her head as if to ask what I meant, but she didn't understand, the idiot.
"Defne, I forgot the water pitcher. Could you bring it, sweetheart?" I said.
Defne hadn't understood what I was trying to tell her, but she went into the kitchen anyway.
Why were young people so naive?
When Defne left, Pınar started to sit down beside her brother.
I took a deep breath, trying to remain patient.
I pretended to cough, and Pınar turned to look at me.
I silently told her no with my eyes and gestured toward the seat beside me, signaling her to sit across from her brother instead.
Thankfully, Pınar understood. She showed me that she had gotten the message without saying anything and sat down in the chair beside me.
I'd seated her at the corner of the table.
Her brother winked at Pınar as if to ask what was going on.
"I'm going to help serve the food, big brother, so that's why I sat here," she said.
Well done. She was quick to come up with an excuse.
Murat nodded and turned back to his food.
I looked at Pınar and winked.
She winked back at me.
There was something promising about this girl.
At that moment, Defne came in carrying the pitcher, placed it on the table, and realized that the only empty seat was beside Murat.
She turned toward us.
I closed and opened my eyes, letting her know that we had arranged it this way.
Thankfully, she understood on the first try this time.
Her eyes lit up immediately, and she sat down beside Murat.
When Aslan came and sat down, I served the soup.
As we all began eating, Aunt Nermin said,
"My goodness, this is a feast! It's impossible for you to have prepared all this with the girls' help. You're good at cooking, aren't you?"
I gave her a modest smile.
"I enjoy cooking. Since there was no one else to do it, I had to learn out of necessity, but I grew to like it. Still, I don't want to take credit away from the girls. They helped a lot, thankfully. Especially Defne," I said.
Everyone, including Defne, looked at me in surprise.
What were you shocked about, Defne?
"Our Defne?" Murat asked in a surprised tone.
Good. So Murat wasn't completely indifferent to Defne.
"Why are you surprised? Defne is quite the homemaker, maşallah," I said.
I was playing my part very well.
"The last time she made a cake, we almost broke our teeth on it. That's why we're surprised," Murat said with a laugh.
Defne immediately took offense, but she was angry, too.
"That was four years ago, Murat abi!" she said sharply.
Murat didn't take her seriously at all and continued teasing her.
"So, you've grown up now, have you?"
Men really were idiots.
He was calling a girl as lovely as a drop of water a child.
"Did you think she was a child? We only just met, but Defne is beautiful, intelligent, and very capable. She's also really funny. I'm sure plenty of men are chasing after her. Maybe you haven't noticed because she's always around you," I said.
My little jabs seemed to have had an effect, because Murat was momentarily taken aback.
"Well, we remember Defne as a little girl. My goodness, sweetheart, look how much you've developed yourself. Well done," Aunt Nermin said.
I didn't know whether she had said that to lighten the mood or whether she had noticed my subtle hints, but she had intervened.
I didn't say anything more after that. Being too insistent would attract too much attention now.
I'd gradually help him open his eyes.
"Hey, how about our girl? Let's see what you did. I'm going to like hers the most."
Uncle Mehmet suddenly called out to Pınar and changed the subject, making the table even livelier.
Uncle Mehmet was a very cheerful man.
"Oh, Dad! I made the rice, and you haven't even tasted it yet," she said, rolling her eyes and smiling slightly.
It was obvious she was used to her father's behavior.
She tried to act as if she were fed up with it, but the sparkle in her eyes made it clear that she liked it.
"So what? Hers is the best," Uncle Mehmet said, winking.
Aunt Nermin pointed at Uncle Mehmet and said to me,
"Thank goodness he has a daughter."
I smiled at her comment.
They clearly enjoyed teasing each other.
"Of course. Thank goodness I have her, my princess," Uncle Mehmet said, blowing his daughter a kiss.
Involuntarily, something inside me ached.
I hated moments like these.
Normally, I never thought about my mother or father.
Their absence had spread so thoroughly throughout my life that it had become my normal.
I neither needed them nor wondered about them.
But when I encountered a family for whom this was normal, the things I had accepted without question began to shake inside me, whether I wanted them to or not.
See, I told myself. This is what normal looks like.
If this is normal, then why wasn't I born into it?
"Well, my dear, tell us. How did you meet? When did you get married? This ungrateful boy of ours left and never came back, and suddenly he was married and settled down without telling us anything."
Aunt Nermin's voice pulled me away from the voices in my head, and I returned my attention to the table.
"It happened suddenly, Aunt Nermin. I didn't want to invite anyone to the wedding. You know our circumstances," Aslan said briefly, offering a short explanation.
What circumstances did they know about exactly?
Because we had quite a few circumstances of our own.
"You're right. Don't mind me. It's wonderful that you came to see us so soon. We'll see each other often from now on," Aunt Nermin said understandingly.
What did they know, anyway?
For example, they hadn't even attended our wedding.
If Aslan was so close to them, why hadn't they come?
"Of course, we will. It's nice that we're neighbors now," I said cheerfully anyway.
I couldn't let my mood drop and ruin the atmosphere.
I was the newlywed wife, all right?
My only concern should have been making sure everyone at that table was well taken care of.
"Come on, tell us how you met," Aunt Nermin repeated.
Where had this sudden curiosity about our love story come from?
What was I supposed to say now?
Should I tell them that we bumped into each other, my books fell to the ground, and Aslan helped me pick them up?
It was a story that worked in every television series, after all.
But these people wouldn't expect that kind of politeness from my husband.
It wouldn't be believable.
I glanced at Aslan from the corner of my eye.
I wished I hadn't.
He was eating his soup without paying the slightest attention to what was happening.
I'd show him what was what with that soup.
"Aslancığım, would you like to tell them?" I asked, passing the ball to him.
Aslan paused with a piece of bread in one hand and a spoon in the other.
When he looked at me, I was smiling at him.
Of course, he immediately recognized my fake smile.
When everyone turned to look at him, he turned back toward his food and said,
"I went into the café where Selin worked. Then I saw Selin. I said, 'This is the woman I'm going to marry,' and we got married."
Then he returned to his soup.
What nonsense was he talking about?
"That's all?" Pınar asked.
Of course, she was confused.
Everyone was looking at Aslan with expressions that clearly showed they didn't understand.
This man was an absolute ox.
"Of course that's not all. Aslan, I think we can give them a little more detail," I said suggestively, taking hold of the hand holding his bread.
I was going to hit him over the head with that bread.
No, the best thing was for me to take over the story. My ox of a husband was clearly going to ruin everything.
"Well, here's what happened. As Aslan said, I was working at a café. Then Aslan came in, wearing sunglasses and holding his head. I realized he had a headache, of course. I suffer from migraines, too, and when my head hurts, I can barely function. I felt sorry for him when I saw him like that. After taking his order, I gave him a painkiller. At first, he paused and looked surprised. Then he took the painkiller. That was the first time we really looked into each other's eyes. After that, I realized that this man, who had never come in before, was suddenly showing up every day to drink coffee. And between you and me, he doesn't even like coffee that much."
"What does that have to do with anything? I liked the coffee there," he interrupted.
I was telling the story, and I could take it wherever I wanted.
Besides, I wasn't wrong.
Aslan was a tea person, and I was as sure as my own name that he had come to see me.
The stalker had set his sights on me right from that moment.
"Of course, of course. Anyway, I didn't give him any attention at all. After a week, he offered to take me out for a drink, but I refused, naturally. Then I started finding flowers and gifts at the café every day. He was so persistent! He chased after me relentlessly. And in the end, we got married," I said.
A lie.
A week after we met, Aslan had proposed to me directly.
And during that entire week, he hadn't even looked at my face. He had simply taken his coffee and left.
As everyone listened to my little story, decorated with harmless white lies, with hearts practically coming out of their eyes, Aslan looked at me as if to say, "Really?"
Oh, come on! Was I supposed to tell the truth?
It was my story, after all.
If he knew so much, he should have told it himself.
Uncle Mehmet laughed and said,
"Wow, Aslan! I didn't know you had such skills. You should teach our boy a thing or two."
Murat immediately replied,
"I'm not thinking about it yet, Dad."
We'll make you think about it, sweetheart. Don't you worry.
He was getting old enough, yet he was still saying he wasn't thinking about it.
"Why not? You've got a profession, too. I think it's the perfect time. Is there anyone you're seeing?" I asked, taking a sip of water from my glass.
I was subtly trying to sound him out.
He probably wouldn't say anything in front of his parents, but it was worth a try.
"No, sister-in-law. I don't have time for those things because of work," he said, seemingly trying to brush off the question.
Oh, I hope he doesn't have a girlfriend.
"I wish he did. Look how nicely Aslan has started his own family. You'll have children soon, too. Ours will get married someday and give us grandchildren," Aunt Nermin said.
At the mention of children, the water I was drinking caught in my throat.
As soon as I started coughing, Aslan reached over and patted my back several times.
Where had this talk of children suddenly come from?
All right, I liked children, of course, but I liked other people's children.
Even the thought of becoming a mother was enough to devastate me.
A baby who would depend on me, forced to form an unconditional bond with me.
No, no. I couldn't do that.
What would happen if I couldn't manage it and wanted to give up?
Just like my own mother...
Never.
Never, ever.
When I finally stopped coughing, Aslan asked,
"Are you okay? Where's your mind? You were choking."
As if choking weren't enough, now I was getting scolded, too.
"Calm down, I'm fine," I said, holding the hand resting on my shoulder.
He looked into my eyes, and when he was convinced that I was really okay, he settled back into his chair.
"Did I say something wrong, dear?" Aunt Nermin asked in an embarrassed voice. Now I felt bad for her, too. It wasn't her fault.
"No, no, it was my fault. The water suddenly went down the wrong way while I was drinking," I said. I wasn't about to discuss my family traumas at this table.
"Anyway, the subject has drifted away from my brother now," Pınar said, trying to lighten the mood.
"I guess that made you uncomfortable, too," Murat said suggestively. Pınar answered by sticking her tongue out at her brother. Honestly, they were just like siblings—or cats and dogs. They bickered whenever they got the chance. Poor Defne was sitting quietly in a corner, listening to us.
"So, Defne, what did you feel when you saw Aslan for the first time? What went through your mind?" asked the snake, Defne. I had felt sorry for her just a moment ago. What a treacherous little meatball. And she was grinning, too.
"Well, I just thought he was a handsome man," I said half-heartedly. Aslan laughed at what I had said.
"That's all?" he asked. Yes, that was all. Was there anything wrong with that?
"Brother Aslan, it seems your wife tells things a little in whatever way suits her," Pınar said. Snake number two. I missed Esra. How nice it would be if she were always by my side right now. I had practically taken a snake into my bosom.
"Don't embarrass my wife. Whatever she says is true," Aslan said, defending me. But that only made me even more embarrassed in front of the elders. Everyone was looking at us with smiles.
"Well, well. Looks like fate has allowed us to see Aslan henpecked, too," Murat said. Why was he undermining my husband now?
"We'll see about you, too," Aslan replied, with a hint of meaning in his voice. Wait, did this boy have someone he was seeing? No, that couldn't be. I had set up a whole system here. I had even made su böreği.
"Why would that be henpecked? I think it's very romantic," Defne said. We had given them plenty of material. I hadn't forgotten that she had thrown the ball into my court just a moment ago, either.
But I would get my revenge for that.
"Of course, it's impressive for little girls," Murat said, teasing Defne. What was this? Why did he keep picking on the girl? It was as if he was constantly trying to make sure he didn't take Defne seriously, always attempting to belittle whatever she said. Either he really treated Defne this way because he saw her as a child, or…
Ah, or maybe he was trying not to forget her.
I hoped it was the second.
"Every woman, young or old, wants to be with someone who respects and values her. Although this really has nothing to do with you, Brother Murat," Defne said. Well, look at our girl! Just a moment ago, she had been cowering like a cat, and now she was beginning to show her claws. Good for her. She needed to make memorable moves like this.
"Why, sweetheart? Am I not like that?" Murat asked, looking at her sourly. Defne shrugged as if to say she didn't know.
"Even if you are, that's not my problem," she said. I had said this girl had potential, hadn't I? All that was needed was to create the right environment. When there was a brief silence at the table, I tried to pull things together.
"Of course, people don't treat other girls the way they treat their siblings. Pınarcığım, shall we move on to the main course now? Look, we've finished the soup, too," I said. It was a good jab, but judging by Aunt Nermin's suspicious looks, I had attracted a little too much attention. Murat was left staring at Defne after the remark she had thrown at him. Long looks were good. Sometimes, a person had to look at something for a long time to be able to see it. All we needed was to make that happen. Pınar took the plates away and served the casseroles and rice. I was making the girl work, too, but never mind. I was helping her brother build a home here, after all. She could at least do this much for me. Uncle Mehmet immediately took a spoonful of rice.
"Ah, now that's the taste I was looking for. Who did you say made the rice?" he asked, pretending he didn't know. He was such a sweet man. He spread joy wherever he went. We all smiled at his playful yet cheerful manner.
"I thought I heard Pınar, Dad," Murat said. He had stopped looking at Defne and joined the pleasant conversation at the table. We would get him this way, with sudden little strikes. If he was exposed to it constantly, it would lose its effect.
As Uncle Mehmet tried to swallow the food in his mouth, he covered his mouth with one hand as if he were surprised.
"WHAT? How is that possible? I'd never heard that before. As you can see, it's a complete coincidence that I liked the food my daughter made again," he said, exaggerating everything. Everyone was laughing out loud now. Even Aslan was smiling, and my husband wasn't the sort who laughed much in company.
"Dad, you're embarrassing me," Pınar said with feigned annoyance. I was sure she secretly loved her father's attitude. How wonderful it was to be surrounded by people who were always ready to love what you made without even trying it, seeing it, or knowing what it was. How could someone like that ever make a mistake?
Out of the corner of my eye, I looked at Defne, who hadn't said a word. She was watching Pınar with a bittersweet smile. It was obvious that she was happy for her friend, but she also seemed to be looking on enviously at the existence of a love she herself didn't have. It was impossible for the family in Tülay's story to have left Defne unharmed.
Then my eyes suddenly shifted to Aslan. I wanted to see what he was eating. I didn't want to make it obvious, but I don't know, there was a curiosity inside me that I couldn't control. When I sneaked a glance at him, I saw that he hadn't touched the meal at all and was diving into the su böreği. I say diving in because while one piece was in his mouth, another was waiting on his plate. Involuntarily, I liked the sight. A tiny smile I couldn't help formed on my lips. Then Aslan and I made eye contact. He pointed at the pastry in his hand with his eyes and took another huge bite. I suppose that meant this was his favorite, too. My cheeks flushed slightly, and my smile grew even wider.
"What's so special about this rice? Let me have a look, too." At Murat's voice, our exchange of glances with Aslan was interrupted, and I turned toward him. He put the tiny amount of rice he had picked up on the tip of his fork into his mouth and made a fake grimace.
"Thanks for the effort, sis. It's disgusting," he said. Oh, the brother terror. Pınar wrinkled her nose.
"Thanks, big brother. Now I'm sure you're feeling better," she said.
"Children!" At Aunt Nermin's voice, both of them straightened up. They were grown adults, yet the moment they heard their mother, they shrank back inside themselves like children. Then again, I had never experienced a mother's authority, so perhaps it was something whose effect never wore off, no matter how old you were.
The rest of the meal passed pleasantly, with lots of laughter. I had truly fallen in love with this family. I thought Uncle Mehmet was a wonderful father. When the desserts arrived, he suddenly turned a hundred and eighty degrees and began showering Defne with praise this time. He had a fatherly manner not only toward his own daughter but toward everyone around him. Even me. As hard as it was to believe, when we got up from the table, he said,
"Honestly, these were the best meals I've ever had. Joking aside, I liked what you made the most. They're still young, so I praised their cooking like that to keep them from getting discouraged. Just between us," he said quietly. I don't know why, but his words made me feel like a child who had just received a pat on the back. Those words were both so unfamiliar and so capable of warming me inside that they made me remember little Selin, the one I tried so hard to avoid remembering, even more. She would have done anything to hear those words. To be at a table like this today, too.
Although, hadn't I already done that?
Anyway…
After clearing the plates, the girls wanted to wash the dishes, but I sent them back, even though it took some effort. My dear husband would take care of it, after all. Life was a partnership, wasn't it? When I made the tea and carried it inside, the girls returned to the kitchen and brought out the desserts. The conversation at the table continued here, too. Aslan, Uncle Mehmet, and Murat had started discussing some news on the television channel they had put on, but since I couldn't care less about the news, we women returned to the dining table and continued chatting there. As we drank our tea, Aunt Nermin took a spoonful of dessert.
"Oh, Defne, sweetheart, this turned out so lovely. Honestly, I couldn't quite believe Selin when she praised you, but goodness, you really do have a talent for cooking," she said. Defne blushed slightly.
"Enjoy it, Aunt Nermin. I grew up with you, after all. My teachers were very good," she said. Look at her, look at those words! She was a clever girl. She knew exactly who to play to.
"No, no, you've really got the hang of it. Teach our girl, too, sometime," she said with a wink. Pınar immediately jumped in at her mother's remark.
"Mom, I made the rice!" she said at once. The girl really had made good rice, too.
"Yes, yes, she learned how to make rice by accident, whatever that means. Did the knowledge descend upon her in her sleep? Good heavens! You'll be making rice for your husband morning and evening from now on," she said with a laugh. This family loved teasing one another. We started laughing, too, at Aunt Nermin's playful manner. Pınar said with feigned annoyance,
"Honestly! Traitorous friends," she said, looking at us. When we kept laughing, she couldn't help grinning herself.
"What's wrong with not being very good in the kitchen? Rice is the hardest thing to make, anyway," she said. In a way, she was right. Rice really was the hardest. When I worked at a restaurant, my least favorite thing was making rice. Oh, and I used to make it in enormous cauldrons, too.
"Anyway, anyway, you're right. Rice is the hardest. Defne, sweetheart, your brother-in-law has come. Everything's all right, isn't it? I couldn't speak to your mother today," she said, becoming a little more serious. I was already very curious about this subject, and we had left it unfinished. How nice that she had asked!
Defne let out an exasperated breath.
"Apparently, my brother-in-law's father is sick, and he supposedly came to take my sister home. My sister called him last week and told him to come and get us. He couldn't come," she said. As she spoke, she grew angrier and her face turned red.
"Why couldn't he come? Had something happened?" I asked involuntarily.
"Oh, no. His father wouldn't give him the car. Can you believe it? A grown man, married with a child, still has to ask his father for permission to use a car," she said. What? Why had he waited for a car? If he didn't have one, he could have just jumped in and come.
"What illness does he have?" Aunt Nermin asked. She hadn't even been surprised by the car issue. I was the only one there who was surprised by it at that moment. So this must have been something that happened all the time.
"Cancer, I think. I don't know exactly, either. All his siblings have gone. They're like a flock of vultures. Anyway, God forgive me, they're making me sin, too. Anyway, my brother-in-law was telling my sister to come to him the last time they spoke, but I guess my sister won't go back," she said. I was getting even more confused. When she realized I hadn't understood a thing, Pınar stepped in.
"Girl, you didn't understand anything. Now, look: your brother-in-law's father is very rich, but his children are useless. None of them has a job or anything of their own; they just hang around in their father's shops. And their father is, well, a little off in the head. He suddenly…"
"...has one of his fits, throws them out, refuses to give them money, and even when he does, he gives them ridiculously small amounts. Sister Tülay struggled terribly with money, and my brother-in-law, bless him, never thinks about his child's expenses or his wife's needs. Sister Tülay did everything herself. They enrolled the child in daycare this year, and Sister Tülay worked and paid for it herself. My brother-in-law's father said it wasn't necessary. Sister Tülay's mental health deteriorated badly. She would suddenly have crying fits and started taking medication and things like that. She was all alone there, and her husband wasn't supporting her, either. Anyway, before coming here this year, she told him, 'Either get a job, or I'm done with you.' That's how she ended up here," she explained, giving me a brief summary.
Oh, I couldn't believe it. What kind of man was he? If you weren't going to take responsibility, why get married in the first place?
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I never expected anything like this. I mean, forgive me for saying so, but your brother-in-law isn't much of a man. How can someone put his wife and child in such a situation? Why should your father have to support your family? You're physically capable of working, so why should he look after you like a child?" I said. I hadn't intended to comment, but men who had never grown up getting married and ruining a woman's life made my blood boil. So, you get married using your father's money, don't work, make your wife work, have a child but take no responsibility for it, and leave all of that to the woman? Well, why should she stay married to you? You provide neither financial nor emotional support. From what I understood, you weren't even a good father. What use was a person like that?
"Exactly! But if you saw him, he'd tell you all about his father's wealth in two minutes. And he's so indifferent, too. My sister told him, 'If you don't work, I'm not coming back,' and he still says things like, 'As if you've been left starving.' Can you believe that shamelessness? You could spit right in his face, and he'd say, 'Thank you, God!'" Defne said, growing even angrier.
Unbelievable. He was useless and shameless, too. I was so furious with him that I could have strangled him without even having met him.
"I don't know how that girl ended up with them. We did warn her, but she wouldn't listen to anyone," Aunt Nermin said pensively.
"Oh, Aunt Nermin, please don't say that in front of my sister. Believe me, she knows it herself, but what's done is done. It upsets her when she hears it," Defne immediately interjected, out of an instinct to protect her sister. She was right, of course. A person could make a mistake, but if there was anything harder than paying the price for that mistake, it was having to hear about it from everyone.
"No, sweetheart, I wouldn't say that. I'm actually angry with your mother. I told her so many times not to do it, told her she was putting too much pressure on that girl, but she wouldn't listen. She ruined the girl's life. Anyway, what's done is done. What will Tülay do now?" Aunt Nermin asked.
I hadn't liked that snake of a mother from the very first moment I heard about her, but how could a mother push her own daughter into such a disaster? Then again, perhaps she hadn't been able to predict that things would turn out this way. Perhaps she, too, had sent her daughter off on a path whose stones she had laid with good intentions. At least, I hoped that was the case.
"When I left, I think they were arguing. They had gone into their room. My father tried talking to my brother-in-law. He suggested getting him a job here and having them settle here, but apparently, the gentleman can't take orders from anyone," Defne said.
Goodness, the arrogance of this prince of a man was greater than that of my CEO husband. He couldn't take orders from anyone. He was so proud, yet shameless enough to leave his wife dependent on someone else.
"I hope Sister Tülay doesn't change her mind again," Pınar said.
So this wasn't the first time she had decided to get divorced.
"She's given him chance after chance all this time, but no. My father also told my sister not to go back. He said it, but my mother put a little pressure on her," Defne replied.
Oh, that woman had really had enough of me. No, I was going to give her a piece of my mind.
"Don't worry. I'll talk to her. Tülay shouldn't go back, either. She should divorce that parasite," Aunt Nermin said angrily.
Whatever kind of man he was, he had managed to infuriate all of us without even being there.
"Does Tülay work?" I asked Defne.
"Well, she was working as a paid substitute teacher there, but she doesn't know what will happen now, either," she said sadly.
If that woman didn't work, her mother wouldn't leave her alone. If she did, at least she could move into a place of her own. Perhaps it would be better if I didn't interfere, but a very promising plan had already begun taking shape in my mind. I wasn't going to leave another woman in such a helpless situation. No one should have to put up with a man like that. If she had gone back to him several times for this very reason, perhaps I could at least solve that problem for her.
While I was thinking about my plan, Aslan and I made eye contact. He winked and gave me a questioning look. Could this man actually see inside my brain? I closed my eyes and signaled that it was nothing. We could communicate with our eyes now. Of course, Aslan didn't believe me, but he took his suspicious gaze off me and returned to his conversation.
The conversation continued for quite some time. At one point, Aunt Nermin tried to sound me out about my mother-in-law and things like that, but I brushed her off, too. Come to think of it, what had my mother-in-law done when she learned that her son had moved into this house with me, the very house where she had thought he would throw me out? Oh, how I wished I could have seen the look on her face!