"Thanks for the compliment…but I'm not giving you back your powers to commit murder and mayhem, as cool as that sounds." Killer Frost's angry glare might be more effective if she wasn't feeling up my abdomen or blushing powder blue in her cheeks…and ears.
"How about a deal…you see I'm new around here…in a way I doubt you could truly understand for so many reasons, that I won't even bother trying to explain to you." I let out a loud almost pained sigh at the admission I make in my head.
'I don't even know how I got here other than some powerful being, deciding I'd be amusing entertainment.'
"Anyways…" I mutter trailing off trying really hard not to take Killer Frost's stroking my new abs as an invitation to fuck in an alley, before continuing, "I need a guide and someone to help me settle in and get acclimated…that something you willing to do? In return I'll give you back your abilities." I offer and Killer Frost looks like my offer is actually hard to make a decision on, her face becomes more and more pensive and I can't help but find it rather adorable even with the blood coating her face and the gore in her hair not to mention her stained and stretched costume that now without her consciously trying to keep it in place is sliding down to reveal more and more of her tits and fair slightly blue tinted skin.
Just as I start to picture Killer Frost clean and with a properly fitting costume once more I hear a rather shocked noise come from the mouth of the alley Killer Frost and I are currently in which makes both of us whip our heads in that direction, standing there in his god awful mustard yellow and red super hero suit is Kid Flash, whose mouth opens and clothes like a fish still alive and unable to breath on land eyes widening with every passing moment.
"Kid Flash!" Killer Frost snarls but I hear the trembling in her voice, the look of sheer panic Killer Frost shoots in my direction makes me feel slightly guilty to leave her defenseless.
I look back to the mouth of the alley to see Flash appear in his red hero outfit and immediately place his hand over his nephew's eyes.
I try not to fanboy over The Flash Barry mother fucking Allen and Wally the Speedster with a mouth.
"Y-yo, Flash…Kid Flash, if you guys wouldn't mind me and this lovely lady were just about to be rather indecent in this here alley, you know a homeless guy's gotta earn his keep." I offer and I ignore Killer Frost's indignant squawk, while Flash blanches before his green eyes become flinty.
"Killer Frost, how could you? Forcing yourself on someone!" Flash practically growls and starts to move towards us not using his speed but literally stomping towards us, which makes me blink in surprise.
"I-I-its not what you th-think F-f-Flash." Killer Frost stutters in sheer terror which makes me look to her in worry, her fair blue tinted skin paling into a bone white.
"Woah-woah, this is a big misunderstanding I was joking…in fact had I not interfered this beautiful young woman was about to be the victim of a sexual crime against her person." I say in a rather hurried manner, which makes Flash nearly trip, yes Thee mother fucking Flash nearly trips.
"Which is also kinda my fault…because I changed Killer Frost's powers to ice cream generation…I mean she can still chill a room and everything but she just can't manipulate ice like she used to." At my confession Kid Flash zooms over.
"If that's true how come Killer Frost is covered in blood and…all that yuck?!" Kid Flash questions snarkily which snaps his mentor out of his momentary moment of stunnedness…but now Flash is looking at me like I'm the big bad and the one threatening/forcing myself on Killer Frost.
"Would you believe me if I said they spontaneously exploded…?" I ask softly and receive a giggle from Killer Frost, which makes me turn to look at her, our eyes meeting, she quickly looks away from me as she blushes a much darker and more vibrant blue color, snapping my fingers exerting my will making the remains of the two scum disappear from both the alley outside of the bar and from Killer Frost while repairing her costume.
"Ughhh, gross it's bad enough to see Aunt Ir-" Wally starts to complain and I start feeling a bit panicked making a pair of socks in a bundle appear in his mouth.
Kid Flash spits out the socks making a gagging sound while Barry loses his composure and starts laughing his ass off while going over to his nephew and patting his back.
Kid Flash aims a glare at me, and angrily mutters ,"N-not cool man!"
"Sorry man, I just got to this Earth from mine where I was completely powerless…you your uncle and all the other Supes and Villains…plus supporting characters are rather famous comic book characters, with other popular media based on the comics…and it sounded like you were about to share some sensitive information that you don't want a very sexy, psycho supervillainess to know…and possibly share with other villains." I feel Killer Frost glaring at me and annoyingly pinching my waist as some sort of punishment for calling her a sexy psycho.
"Ohh…" Flash expresses and shoots me a look of understanding.
"Frost, you ready to go back to Bell Reve?" Flash asks her and Killer Frost wraps her arms around me, one hand sliding up my back towards my neck then I feel something extremely sharp and cold pressing against my neck.
"You aren't taking me back Flash, Flash Junior…I'll-I'll kill him!" I turn my head to look at Killer Frost after her outburst.
"Oh really…. remember what happened last time you threatened my life?" I ask Killer Frost playfully making her glare and blush fiercely in that super cute blue flushing way as she nods her head nervously.
"And that happened completely by accident…by just me thinking I didn't want to die and that I could really go for some ice cream…." I continue and Killer Frost isn't the only one that makes a strangled sound in the backs of their throat, I feel something enclosing around my neck.
I turn and look at Flash. He offers me a sheepish smile and a shrug, "Sorry man, I get you're displaced and all but…can't really let you go around accidentally warping reality…" Flash says to me his body language and his mostly hidden facial expressions turning serious.
"You're a fucking jackass!" A snarl slips out of me making the other three occupants in the alley jump…though the jumping might be less from my outburst and more that in a fairly odd parents puff of smoke that formed the words poof and now standing where Flash was standing is a bi-pedal Donkey man in Flash's costume.
"EEE-ONK-EEE-ONK!" Flash makes Donkey noises…which makes me blink in shock as my knees give out I would have crashed to the ground…but Killer Frost holds me firmly to her and hums in concern.
"FFF-FFf-fff-Flash?!" Wally strutters before crying out, Flash rests a hand on Kid Flash's head and ruffles his nephew's red hair affectionately.
"IamshooshoosorryohmyfuckinggodIturnedtheFlashintoaliteralJackass!!!" I practically shout and Flash speeds over to me and pats my shoulder in reassurance.
"Yeah, yeah…you were kinda one before…you know, putting a slave collar on me and all that…like I'm some princess Leia to add to your harem of meta human rogues." I shoot Flash a smile and notice his right eye twitching, Wally makes a gagging sound while Killer Frost makes a choking laugh sound thingy that sounds adorable.
"Yeah…I have zero clue on how to turn you back to normal…" I mutter and imagine the metagene suppression collar turning to dust and blowing away in a mysterious breeze.
Flash glares at me while Killer Frost giggles, even Kid Flash lets out a disbelieving giggle.
"Welp, my and my lady friend here must be going hot date and even hotter bedroom plans to carry out and all that I say and imagine us somewheres safe no one can enter unless I allow them to I catch Killer Frost burying Flash and Kid Flash in chocolate ice creams as we enter a blanks black void.
"Uhh…I appreciate the saves but uhh…this is kinda scary." Killer Frost murmurs as she superstitiously looks around her whole body trembling as she hold me tighter to her body…not something I'm ever going to complain about, I start to imagine a prairie of shin high green grass a small crystal clear lake of clean water, a largish wooden cabin with modern comforts inside, blue skies, a sun and a moon that follow twelve hour cycles a few pair, peach and apple trees spattering the property in an orchard layout with ankle high grass, I imagine that the borders of this place seem to stretch on forever with impenetrable mountains in the distance and a perfect sphere of energy surrounding this place just barely visible in the sky if you concentrate really hard that protects this place from all threats conceivable by my rampant imagination while I also imagine no one can carry out hostile intentions towards me in this place if they are life threatening or extremely painful.
"S-s-so…about that deal…umm, I'm sorry for what I was going to or would have done to you if you weren't an absolute freak on the power scale…p-pl-please don't turn my into a donkey or…or something worse…I-I-I'll do anything be anything you want me to be, y-you want me to suck your cock or get on all fours I'll do it I promise, you don't even have to give me back my old powers!" Panicked babbling sobs pour from Killer Frost as she presses the side of her face against my chest, feeling both sick and turned on. I encircle her waist with my arms which makes her flinch but she also relaxes almost immediately as I begin rubbing her back.
"You have no idea how tempting such an offer from such a sexy, beautiful woman like yourself is to a guy like me…but I honestly have no desire to turn you into some sex slave…though…role playing that would be kinda hot…forgive me for not being quite eloquent with this but would you like to go out on a date with me?" I ask Killer Frost who steps back from me with a shocked unsure expression on her face.
"Y-you want to go out on a date with me?" The real shock and disbelief in her voice hurts me, like really hurts me.
'What, is it so hard to believe that I want to be a half way decent guy?! I mean fuck I know what I said to her and my accidental use of powers I just I guess my actions so far kinda cut the figure of a guy that would fully accept her offer…'
"L-look forget I asked…it was a stupid question, why would a hot…yet cute babe like you want to go on a date with an ugly loser like me anyways?! I'm such a fucking idiot!!" I mutter and start to march away from her towards my cabin with my head down eyes stinging an urge to send her back to the alley where the Flash and Kid Flash are probably still standing around in a daze, but I don't it'd be cruel to do that to her and though my actions so far probably say otherwise I'm not a cruel person…unless it involves someone hurting kids or my family.
"H-hey, don't just walk away from me like that! No-not af-after calling me hot and cute, you asshole!" Killer Frost shoots at me and I feel my back get pelted with ice cream that makes me fall flat on my face.
~ — — — — — — — — — — — ~
Reactions to the Flash Being Permanently(?) Turned Into a Donkey
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Justice League:
"We have an unknown entity after investigating and speaking with Kid Flash, I have deduced that this entity that is responsible for the Flash's current condition is not a Metahuman and I'm currently in talks with a few contacts from the magical community to see if they can shed any light on if this entity is a magic user." Batman briefs the league as they all sit in the conference room Diana looks at Barry with a pensive expression on her face…the memories of being turned into a pig not that long ago by Circe still fresh in her mind.
"Eee-onk!" Flash brays and it sounds depressed to everyone in the conference room as he holds his head in his hooves.
Superman tries to take it in stride, but every time Barry goes to speak he brays, which makes Clark's composure crack.
"Don't worry, buddy. We'll fix this. Even if it… takes a while." Superman offers as he flies over to Flash and tries to comfort him like an upset animal on the farm by rubbing his forehead and snout.
Not many can tell but Batman is absolutely furious…not at Barry, magic or even the entity that turned Barry into a literal jackass…but himself, because he still hasn't finished his contingency plans for just this type of situation…after his experience with Circe.
"Wayne industries in conjunction with STAR Labs is still working on a few devices that could help Barry communicate with us." Batman intones grimly while typing something out on a keyboard which makes the hologram emitter in the center of the table project a few images.
"A bestial Metahuman Physiological Support Suit, with a built in translation collar…this project is near completion thanks to the aid of Esquina the Horse Girl Hero who upon awakening her metagene became a bi-pedal mare." Batman explains to the League while Barry slumps even further in on himself.
"Wayne industries has devoted all available resources to this project, we…we got your back, Fl-Barry." Bruce says speaking to Barry like he did Diana when she was turned into a pig more friendly than he's been to anyone expect Clark and Diana since exposing his identity during the Thanagarian invasion.
Wonder Woman's words are gentle, kind, but you can tell she's struggling with some lingering PTSD.
"This is why you must respect the gods and magic…their senses of humor are…"
Green Lantern (Hal Jordan) Suddenly laughs so hard he starts to cry as he creates an advertisement scene much like for the energy bars Flash's face is plastered on, "When your Horse is Donkey are hungry buy Energy Oats, that are endorsed by the FASTEST ASS ALIVE.
When Flash goes home,
Iris West freaks the fuck out and mutter, "Oh my god, Barry!"
Five minutes later…
"Okay. Okay… we can get through this…just-just no kissing and stuff."
Iris mutters, which makes Barry Bray sadly, which only makes Iris become fiercely protective…and tries to stop Barry from rushing off to fight the Rogues.
The Rogues
Captain Cold immediately says:
"…I'm not fighting a donkey."
Heat Wave disagrees, "I'll fight anything."
Mirror Master tries to steal him because he wants a "We should keep him as a pet just imagine all the money we could make on a super-powered donkey mascot."
The Trickster is absolutely convinced Barry is finally embracing chaos.
Weather Wizard just wants everyone to go back to committing crimes like normal.
Central City Citizens
Once they realize the donkey is, in fact, the Flash Children cry out in adoration of him…and girls that
After the fight, adults stand around unsure how to address him…within hours someone starts selling black-market plush toys of "Flash the Donk."
The mayor makes a public statement urging citizens to "Respect the dignity of our…bahahaha hero."
Meanwhile, tabloids publish wild headlines like: "CENTRAL CITY'S FASTEST JACKASS!"
Green Arrow says, "So if we put a saddle on him, can we make a song that says save the horse and the cowboy ride the fastest Jackass alive?" Black Canary punches him instantly.