"Intent is just as important as any other part of a potion. The way we prepare ingredients and meld them together is certainly important but the intent behind our actions can be the make or break aspect of higher-level potions. If your intention is particularly serious it can even effect low level potions negatively or positively, depending on what your intentions were." I lectured calmly to my Petunia as she stirred the cauldron in front of her with a determined look on her face. Sweat was beading down her brow but she was ignoring it in favor of my advice.
A single absentminded action could lead to disaster so it was important to be laser-focused when dealing with magics that have ties to creation. That was a lesson I needed my student to understand beyond anything else. I was not looking forward to scraping her off of the walls if she did not heed such a simple ruling.
Sure we were not dealing with anything that would be that harmful if her focus dropped but it was the principle of the matter. I was also here in case of any mistakes but it was better if those mistakes never happened, instead of relying on me to fix the mess she would get us into.
After the mess up I made in Remnant I was a bit more cautious about my approaches. We go out for a few more grinding missions as a group and those went far better than the fuck up I made. Rias was still training with her brother so it was just Andrew, Ashley, Argo, and Pyrrha we were still not able to drag Izumi in. The kid really needed to jump into the water before he was dragged into it by the world.
Andrew was not happy about being shunted off when things got dangerous but he understood. He did put in a lot of effort trying to improve his level in further missions. The guy did not want to feel weak and he was not willing to leave his sister alone to face danger. So he pushed himself further than I thought he was capable of which again raised my opinion about the guy. In between those missions, I taught Petunia potions and that had problems of its own but the actual teaching was something I enjoyed.
Today's potion was just a simple cure for common colds. Not anything really to write home about as it would only deal with things that would go away in a couple of days of bed rest but it was still a magical compound. It would also be useful for Petunia to know the recipe for this potion in her daily life. Sure it was not that impressive to me but taking this potion would be helpful for the mundane populace.
The fact that we were dealing with a healing potion today brought up my little lecture point. Intention is everything in magic and if Petunina brewed this potion with a murderous intent no matter how perfect her prep work was it would never lead to a potion that could help. On the other side of that coin if she put her heart and mind into truly wishing for salvation for the damned into this brew it would end up being far beyond her current skill level. Petunia was not really capable of building up the sort of intent that would affect a potion but it was a good point to get ready for.
The potion bubbled and boiled in the cauldron, spreading out the smell of herbs into the air. It was a rather overpowering scent but not one that was offensive once you got used to it. It was a scent that I loved born from the labours of my own effort.
Petunia did not even flinch from the scents or the heat coming from the cauldron. My little student really is coming along well. A note of pride bubbled in my chest that I was able to raise a squib into a semi-competent potioner. Granted the image before me was more to do with her efforts as opposed to my teachings.
Sure my words and lessons were certainly above the regular riffraff and I was constantly guiding her to the proper route but that alone would not be enough. To learn and master a skill one needs to put in dedication to hone the skill you so desperately wanted to master. With out that effort, the greatest teacher in the world would not be able to do a thing for that student. I would say that a part of being that great teacher is dragging out that dedication from your students.
In that regard, Petunia made it far too easy to move along. She wanted nothing more than to touch upon this fanciful world and she was not going to step back now. Not without shedding as much blood and sweat as she was capable of bringing about.
That drive and ambition always brought a soft smile to my face. Maybe her actions and will rang a familiar tone or maybe seeing that drive was enough by itself either way I was more than happy with my student.
We had been meeting far less frequently as I had other things occupying my time. That was rather disappointing to my student but she understood it for the most part. She was mildly sad about not being able to practice as much as she wished but she recovered fairly quickly.
It was summer vacation so she had more than enough time to practice and it was only my busy schedule that was holding her back. She made up for the lack of practical time with a cauldron to hone her theoretical knowledge which again brought a smile to my face. She had also taken up the hobby of cooking which was a decent way to practice her knife work. From what she has told me her family was more than happy with her sudden change of mood and willingness to bond with her mother in the kitchen.
That thought brought a small frown to my face that I quickly removed. I did not want my student to think she had made a mistake when my current mood was unrelated to her current skill. Petunia was coming along well but her need for validation in her skills has become somewhat of an issue. She was not confident in herself in any regard so she usually needed reassurance that everything was fine on a semi regular basis.
Then again we did not have much to chat about other than potions. Well, she had one thing she was constantly bringing up which brought back that frown.
Petunia had been bringing up Lily on a near-constant basis. It was honestly baffling the first time it happened but once I understood where she was coming from I was able to piece things together. With her newfound skills, she was feeling far less bitter in regard to her sister. The jealousy and envy that dyed her life had receded and she was feeling far more happy than she had ever been.
That changed her outlook on her sister. No, that would be wrong she had always held onto her sister even in her worst moods. She envied her looks or how easily Lily was able to drag attention to herself and that envy certainly extended to the magical world but she never truly hated Lily. Even when she hated everything about magic she was unable to cut Harry out of her life because he was the last reminder of her Sister. The Sister who died thinking she hated her, that was the type of person Petunia was. So it was not that surprising that when that envy faded she started mending the bridge that she tore down.
I had no issue with that in fact a part of me was happy for my student to see the relationship she desperately wanted mending. I had my issues with Lily but I had mostly let go of any feelings I had in regards to her, so I was not going to push Petunia to break off that relationship when it meant so much to her. At one point I might have pushed for her to break Lily but that was no longer something I was interested in.
If she was bubbly and happy about being reunited with her sister I couldn't care less. The problem was it was not all sun shine and rainbows with Lily right now. That girl was not taking our separation very well. Coming from me that might as well be a big fucking joke considering how I handled it but for Lily the wound was far too recent.
So the girl was sad. She was depressed, she blamed herself for everything that went down between us and she wanted nothing more than to earn my forgiveness. She had sealed herself in her room and sobbed her vacation away. So you could understand why Petunia would be rather upset seeing that.
For a small bit, the relationship I had grown with her turned icy as she saw my current relationship status as the problem. Maybe she thought I had dumped her sister like dead weight when a different pretty face came about. That lasted for a week before she was able to pry what happened from Lily. Well, the little Lily could recall from our little moment.
Then a period of awkward silence hung between me and Petunia. She clearly had no idea how to approach me with this new found information. She knew that her sister was completely broken up about what happened between us but she also knew that the situation between Lily and I was far too complicated to get involved in. Then that conversation happened.
It was a day like this one with me teaching Petunia to the best of my abilities. She finished the minor potion and I had just finished evaluating it. There was an awkward mood in the air and she refused to look over at me. Her hands were clenched and she appeared as hesitant as anyone could appear to be.
I was going to leave it alone. I knew what this was probably about and I was not all that interested in getting into it and the current state of affairs between me and my student was fine. It hurt that the bond we were building was damaged but I understood where she was coming from so I was willing to give her the time she needed to adjust. I was not going to touch the current mood as it might lead to an exhausting conversation.
"Do you hate Lily?" Petunia asked quickly her voice ringing across the silent room with far more volume than I would expect from her. Maybe the rushed way she got that question out was to blame but it was louder than most of the things I heard from her. Disregarding our first meeting in which she was shouting bloody murder at me.
She looked up at me, mortification on her face as she did not want to broach this subject either, as she was worried how I would handle it. But there was also a sense of relief as she got the thing that had been weighing on her chest out. She seemed nervous but she gritted her teeth in preparation for how I would respond.
I looked over at my trembling student and let out a long sigh. I did not want to start this conversation and it would probably be annoying but if she was going to bring it up I might as well put her mind to rest. I had come to terms with my feelings and I could let my student know these things.
Hearing my sigh she had a dejected expression on her face assuming the worst.
"I won't deny that at one point I despised your sister." I let out quietly to the girl in front of me. Hearing that she had a face that screamed, she knew what was coming but she would be wrong. She was not really listening to the context of my words, just viewing it as the worst way it could be.
"But I realized that the relationship between her and I was doomed to failure from the start. I had built an imaginary image of your sister in my mind and the moment she stepped out of that image it shattered me. I hid too much of my self from her and she never knew how close I was to the edge so I can't spew venom at her not anymore." I explained my thoughts and feelings. It took a long time to get to this point but I was able to feel these things without being a moody little shit. Even if moody little shit was my default status.
Petunia was expecting a lot from me. She was expecting shouting, or enraged comments but the calm and neutral way I was handling things was not on the list of her expectations.
"Wait." Petunia let out as she processed the words I was throwing at her. She seemed like she was having trouble processing the situation so I gave her the time she needed. I was not in a hurry to finish this conversation anyway. It took a few moments but it looked like she was able to get a handle on her thoughts.
"So you don't hate her?" She asked with a gleam in her eyes that was not there the first time she brought this up. When she first asked, it was in a panicked mood that was fueled by the thoughts ringing in her mind for the past week. Now she was actually asking me this with a clear expectation on her mind.
I gave her a flat look and rolled my eyes but if she needed to hear the actual words I guess I could accommodate her.
"No, I don't hate her. I have put the feelings I had for her to rest now I just want to move on in my life and pursue other things." I let out quietly as I thought about Ashley and our relationship. It was more solid than the glass house Lily and I built but it had issues that I still had no clue how to approach.
The gleam in her eyes dimmed but something else started building in the depths of those pupils.
That conversation was awkward and annoying to deal with but I thought I had put to rest the worries in her mind. In hindsight, I should have been more clear about how I felt for Lily as Petunia took my non-hatred as a good sign. Ever since that day she had brought up Lily in our sessions. It was subtle at first with idle comments here and there.
A few stories about her current state, a wistful comment about childhood memories between the three of us, even if I was never that close with Petunia. I did not really want to hear about Lily but I was not going to reprimand her for it either as far as I was concerned, it was idle chatter. I should have put my foot down as seeing my non-aggression she pushed further.
More and more stories about Lily, the sobbing mess that she was right now. How upsetting it was to see her sister like that. More memories were dragged out that were far more damning to my ears. The child like innocence in those stories, the memories that have been lying quietly in their box surfacing at those thoughts. She was bringing up the things that bound me to Lily all those years ago. It was nice remembering those days without the painful thoughts raining over them but it was not something I needed to anymore.
By that point I saw what she was doing. She wanted to mend the bridge between Lily and I and she was pushing from my side as she knew I would be the only side that mattered here. I was not going to see Lily ever again if I had it my way but that was not something she wanted to see. If only because her sister was currently crying her eyes out.
I tried to shut it down but there was no real heat in my arguments. The anger and hate had cooled and now all that was left was a calm rationality. I did not want to approach Lily any longer but in that same vein, I no longer frothed at the mouth at the thought of her. Seeing my lack of anger, she just kept pushing.
Every single time she had the chance she would bring up more and more things about Lily. Her good points, the things that I once admired about her so vividly. It was annoying and one of the reasons I had been avoiding teaching Petunia more often but she did not give up.
She had not brought it up today but she was just about down with her potion so I was expecting another god damn story.
She finished bottling her potion and she faced me with a bright smile. She was clearly happy with how the potion came out and I had to agree. She may not have the heart of a true healer but some sort of compassion must have bled off into the potion as it was a little beyond her current skill set.
She then faced me with that familiar gleam in her eye.
"Lily." She shot out but I was prepared for this so I sprang into action.
"Stop." I commanded with a tone that spoke no non sense. My words and tone stopped her for a moment but I knew she was just going to push further.
"You know I don't care for her, must you bring her up every single time." I let out quietly as I rubbed the bridge of my nose. Honestly, this was getting more annoying than I thought it would. Why could she not be sensible and give up in the face of cold reality?
"Lily needs you, she needs to talk to you. I know it's not what you want to hear but as her sister I can't leave her like that when I could change that." Petunia let out with a steely gaze in her eyes that spoke volumes for her will. I locked my gaze onto hers as if measuring the resolve behind those eyes.
I could cut this girl out of my life. I felt bad about how I treated her when we were younger but I had repaid that debt as far as I was concerned. The problem was I liked teaching her, I liked seeing the bud of talent in this girl bloom from the withered husk that it was before. She was also interesting to hang out with, I could bounce ideas off of her and while she did not get all of my points, she could at least understand the concepts most of the time.
If I wanted to keep this girl in my life I was going to have to deal with this. I let out a long sigh but I had resolved myself to take care of this.
"Fine you win, I'll go talk to Lily but all I am offering is closure for her. I have moved on from this." I let out firmly to her. Petunia's eyes widened as she was surprised she won this battle but she should not be that shocked.
I had let go of the truly negative thoughts I had about Lily. I did not want her in my life but I was not a mess anymore so I could handle this.
Even if it was annoying.
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Going to be posting this time I'm out of backlog but this is still very must on hiatus