"To our newcomers," Dumbledore said in a loud, booming voice so the entire Hall could hear him, his arms outstretched and a beaming smile on his face,"Welcome! And to our old hands, welcome back! There is a time for speech making, but this is not that. Tuck in!"
An appreciative laugh and outbreak of applause happened as Dumbledore sat back down neatly, throwing his long beard over his shoulder to keep it out of the way of his plate, for food had appeared up from the Kitchens, so that the five long tables were groaning under the joints and pies and dishes of vegetables, bread, sauces, and flagons of pumpkin juice.
"Excellent," Ron said with a kind of groan of longing, and he seized the nearest plate of chops and began piling them onto his plate, watched wistfully by Nearly Headless Nick.
"Oh, Nick, there was something I wanted to ask," Hermione said, getting his attention, which he seemed grateful to find a reason to turn away from Ron, "Has the Sorting Hat ever given warnings like this before?"
"Oh, yes, indeed," Nick said, his heading bobbing dangerously, "The Hat, it feels itself honor-bound to give the school due warning. I've heard it give several warnings before, always at times when it detects periods of great danger for the school. And always, of course, its advice is the same: Stand together, be strong from within."
"Ow kunnit nofe skusin danger ifzat?" Ron asked with a full mouth.
Lucifer slammed his palm to the wooden table so forcefully, a crack appeared where his palm impacted. The force caused a reverberating sound, causing the usual buzz to soften, and attention to divert, "Final warning. 'Don't. Do it. Again."
Ron chewed and swallowed, "Sorry.." he said and didn't re-ask his question until the normal buzz returned, "but how can it know if the school's in danger if it's a hat?"
"I have no Earthly idea," Nick said, shaking his neck, "Of course, it lives in Dumbledore's office, so I daresay it picks up things there."
"And it wants all the Houses to be friends?" Harry asked, a glance towards the Slytherin Table, "fat chance.."
"Well, now, you shouldn't take that attitude," Nick said reprovingly.
"When was the last time you paid attention to the Slytherins, Nick?" Lucifer asked him while Harry grabbed a drumstick with a distracted expression.
"Oh, I'd say it's been---"
"Half a century?" He looked right at, or through, the translucent man.
"Well, I--I suppose so, why?" Nick asked, looking quite affronted.
"It's touched upon only briefly in 'Hogwarts: A History,' but there was a sudden shift in Slytherin behavior after Voldemort left Hogwarts. Modern Slytherin, most of them at least, wouldn't bat an eye at the thought of Inter-House cooperation," Lucifer explained, while eyeing the table a few metres away, missing his Greengrass sisters, and sharp tongued Davis who was now pregnant, "watch the Slytherins for a week, you'll see what I mean."
For unexplained reasons, Nick suddenly floated up off of the bench and went to sit elsewhere.
"What was that about?" Ron asked, but no one had an answer.
Hermione reached for some vegetables, her eyes still flitting toward the staff table where Umbridge was delicately cutting her meat. "We need to be careful this term. With a Ministry official holding a teaching post, every single rule infraction will likely go straight back to Fudge...."
"Then it's a good thing the two of you have the badges," Ron mumbled after swallowing through a mouthful of potato. "You can just block whatever she tries to do to us, right?"
"It doesn't work that way with professors, Ron," She sighed, shaking her head at his lack of understanding. "Our authority only extends to the student body. We can't veto a staff member."
"No," Lucifer smirked, taking a slow sip of his drink. "But a professor still has to operate within the school's historical charter. If she steps outside those bounds, there are ways to make her stay miserable..."
Dinner proceeded with the usual boisterous chatter of the start-of-term feast, though the heavy mood from the platform still lingered in the corners of the room. As the main courses vanished to be replaced by mountains of ice cream, tarts, and pies. At Lucifer's recommendation, Hermione tried a pudding with orange marmalade. The sweet and tangy flavors provided the perfect finishing touch to the 'feast.'
The noise reached a crescendo before Dumbledore stood once more to deliver his proper notices.
The Great Hall silenced instantly as the Headmaster began detailing the standard rules, the forbidden nature of the Forbidden Forest, the ban on magic in the corridors between classes, and the standard Quidditch tryout schedules. His eyes had ever so slightly glided over Harry, Ron, Lucifer, and Hermione, who were all struggling to not smirk.
"We have also had two changes in our staff this year," Dumbledore announced, gesturing toward the center of the table. "We are delighted to welcome back Professor Grubbly-Plank, who will be taking over 'Care of Magical Creatures', while Professor Hagrid is away on temporary leave."
Harry and Ron exchanged a grim look but remained silent.
"He didn't say how long she'd be here for, Professor Grubbly-Plank," To their surprise, it was Hermione who muttered in an alarmed tone.
"Worry about it tomorrow, okay?" Lucifer said while he booped her nose, to which she narrowed eyes at his rudy fingers, wanting to bite it, but chise rubbing over her lips instead.
"Secondly, we are also pleased to introduce Professor Umbridge, our new teacher for 'Defense Against the Dark Arts'," Dumbledore continued, his voice steady. "Appointments to this post have been—" He was cut off by a soft, high pitched, and entirely artificial sound that echoed clearly through the silent hall.
"Hem, hem."
As she wasn't much taller standing than she was sitting, there was no immediate understanding as to why Dumbledore stopped talking. It was only when Umbridge repeated, "Hem hem," that it became clear to most everyone she got to her feet with the intent on making a speech.
Dumbledore only looked taken aback for a moment, then he sat back down smartly and looked alertly at Professor Umbridge as though he desired nothing better than to listen to her talk.
Other members of the staff were not as adept at hiding their surprise, or simply didn't care; Professor Sprout's eyebrows had disappeared into her flyaway hair, and Professor McGonagall's mouth the thinnest Lucifer had ever seen.
No new teacher had ever interrupted Dumbledore before, but then again, no new teacher was from the Ministry, either.
"Thank you, Headmaster," Professor Umbridge simpered, "for those kind words of welcome." Her voice was high-pitched, breathy, and little- girlish and Lucifer hated her more from the moment she spoke, hoping she wouldn't at all. She cleared her throat and continued, "Well, it is lovely to be back at Hogwarts, I must say!" She smiled, revealing very pointed teeth, "and to see such happy little faces looking back at me!"
Lucifer looked around and saw that no one had a look that said, 'happy!' Actually, everyone looked affronted at being addressed as though everyone were 'five' years old.
"l am very much looking forward to getting to know you all, and l'm sure we'll be very good friends!"
"Definitely a bitch," Lucifer said under his breath.
"I'Il be her friend as long as I don't have to borrow that cardigan," Parvati whispered to Lavender, both of whom lapsed into silent
giggles.
Umbridge cleared her throat again, "Hem, hem."
Even Harry who was kind hearted, wanted nothing more than to just smash her head on the Table for the stupid way she 'cleared' her throat. Her voice suddenly changed to be more business-like, and the breathy, girlish tone disappeared and was replaced by a dull, learned-by-heart tone.
"The 'Ministry of Magic' has always considered the education of young witches and wizards to be of vital importance. The rare gifts with which you were born may come to nothing if not nurtured and honed by careful instruction. The ancient skills unique to the Wizarding community must be passed down through the generations lest we lose them forever.... The treasure trove of magical knowledge amassed by our ancestors must be guarded, replenished, and polished by those who have been called to the noble profession of teaching."
Umbridge paused and made a quick, little bow to her fellow staff members, none of whom bowed back. Professor McGonagall's dark eyebrows had contracted so that she looked positively hawk- like.
"Every Headmaster and Headmistress of Hogwarts has brought something new to the weighty task of governing this historic school, and that is as it should be, for without progress there will be stagnation and decay. There again, 'progress for progress' sake' must be discouraged, and our tried and tested traditions often require no tinkering.... A balance, then, between old and new, between permanence and chance, between tradition and innovation."
The longer and longer Lucifer listened, the more and more bored he got, he also tuned some of the nonsense. With each word she spoke, the sleeping look on his face became
more and more pronounced.
"....because some changes will be for the better, while others will come, in fullness of time, to be recognized as errors of judgment. Meanwhile, some old habits will be retained, and rightly so, whereas others, outmoded and outworn, must be abandoned. Let us move forward, then, into a new era of openness, effectiveness, and accountability, intent on preserving what ought to be preserved, perfecting what needs to be perfected. and pruning wherever we find practices that ought to be prohibited!"
She sat down, and Dumbledore clapped for her. The staff followed his lead, and only a couple of students clapped immediately. Before the rest of them could clap as well, the Headmaster got to his feet. "Thank you, Professor Umbridge, that was most illuminating."
"Yeah, it really was. She was definitely planning against me to be late on my Prefect Duties," Lucifer said with a yawn. Hermione, hearing this, gave her boyfriend a hard kick on the shin to which he laughed, but played it off as though he were laughing at Ron, who had been stuffing his mouth with the 'magically-appeared' extra food in front of him by House-elves at his request from last year.
"Now, as I was saying, Quidditch Tryouts will be held---"
"You're not telling me you actually enjoyed it, are you?" Ron asked, staring across the table at Lucifer with wide, disbelieving eyes. "That was easily the dullest speech I've ever heard in my entire life, and I grew up in the exact same house as Percy."
"He said it was illuminating, Ron, not enjoyable," Hermione corrected sharply, her voice tight with immediate concern. "And if you two were actually paying attention, her speech explained a great deal about what we're facing this year."
"Did it?" Harry asked in genuine surprise, shaking his head. "Honestly, it just sounded like a massive load of bureaucratic waffle to me."
"There was some incredibly important stuff hidden directly inside that waffle," She said grimly, and shifted her weight, turning a desperate gaze toward her boyfriend. "Lucifer, please, help me out here!"
"Can't," Lucifer said smoothly, letting out a completely fake yawn as he stretched his arms over the wooden bench. "I am quite certain I fell fast asleep halfway through her opening sentence. Missed the absolute lot of it. What a massive shame..."
Ron and Harry instantly began to snigger, their gloomy moods momentarily lifting. Hermione, who didn't find his casual dismissal nearly as funny, immediately shot her leg out beneath the table and kicked Lucifer sharply right in the shin.
A cocky, teasing smile made its way onto his lips as he peered at his girlfriend playfully, entirely unfazed by the physical assault. "Why don't you enlighten me on what exactly I missed, love?"
"I absolutely hate it when you are being intentionally annoying," Hermione muttered, scrunching her nose in deep irritation. She leaned closer, her amber eyes narrowing as she lowered her voice so the surrounding students wouldn't overhear. "You won't be getting any kisses today. Consider that a fair warning."
Lucifer chuckled, his eyes glinting with amusement. He leaned in, his lips brushing past her bushy hair to speak directly into her ear. "Fine. If you happen to possess top-tier comprehensive ability and are actually capable of keeping your attention focused for longer than a single microsecond, you'd realize there... were plenty of things she said. Highly important things." He pulled back, casually insulting most of his fellow students with a collective glance down the Gryffindor table.
"Was there?" Ron asked blankly, blinking as he paused with a clean plate. "Like what?"
"How about her specific line: 'progress for progress' sake must be discouraged'?" Lucifer quoted accurately, his memory retaining every single syllable. "Or how about her mention of 'pruning wherever we find practices that ought to be prohibited'?"
"Well, what exactly does all of that mean in plain English?" Ron asked impatiently, looking between Lucifer and Hermione.
"You are proving my point perfectly, Weasley," Lucifer said with a dry smirk. He leaned his elbows on the table, his tone turning clinical. "I'll tell you exactly what it means... it means the Ministry of Magic formally plans to interfere at Hogwarts. They are going to attempt to strip away Dumbledore's authority piece by piece."
Before Harry or Ron could process the weight of the statement, a sudden, massive clattering and banging erupted all around them. Dumbledore had stood up and officially dismissed the student body, signaling the end of the feast.
"Come on, Hermione, let's show the Gryffindor first years where to go."
"Right," she said in agreement before addressing the new students, "First Years!"
xxxxxx
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