[Third Person Pov]
Spider-Man paused once he noticed the strange looks everyone in the room was giving him, especially considering the topic he had just introduced. Peter raised a hand and waved it lightly as if trying to settle the room, offering a small, reassuring smile. "Now I know how this seems, but just give me the chance to explain."
"Quipping while being a superhero serves many purposes," Peter continued, turning back to the board. He wrote the word quipping in clear letters, then circled it and added a few quick doodles of spider legs around it, making it stand out more visually.
"First is approachability," Peter said, writing the word neatly underneath. He tapped the chalk against the board once before continuing. "To be a superhero, you need to be able to connect with the people you're trying to save. Even if you do save someone, that doesn't necessarily mean they're going to feel grateful right away, or that they won't still be afraid of you afterward."
"However," he added, adjusting his glasses slightly, "with the appropriate amount of banter, you can bridge that distance. People start to see you as less of a dangerous figure and more like someone they can actually interact with and get along with."
"I hate that I'm actually able to understand exactly what he means," Bobby muttered under his breath, shaking his head while covering part of his face.
Kitty and Rogue both nodded in agreement, sharing similar conflicted expressions. They didn't look thrilled about it, but they couldn't really argue with the point either.
The skepticism around the room started to ease, just enough to give Peter space to continue properly. It helped that he was taking the explanation seriously, which only made the subject itself feel more ironic.
"Next," Peter said, turning back to the board again. He wrote the word alleviation, underlining it this time. "Most people find it difficult to operate under pressure— 🎶🎵 under pressure~ 🎶🎵—" he sang suddenly without thinking.
He paused almost immediately and cleared his throat. "Ignore that. As I was saying—"
A few students snickered while others let out quiet laughs, and some simply rolled their eyes in mild amusement. It was a familiar kind of slip, the sort of thing that just happened when certain words triggered a song in your head.
"During a mission, the pressure can either make or break someone," Peter continued, getting back on track. "People can freeze when the stakes are high, whether it's the fate of the world or just one person's life in their hands. Quipping helps alleviate that pressure. You trick yourself into thinking the situation is lighter than it actually is. And if you can distract yourself from that weight, you can think more clearly instead of letting it overwhelm you."
Scott let out a quiet scoff from where he stood, which drew the attention of Jean, Storm, and Charles.
"What?" Jean asked, a hint of amusement already in her voice.
"Nothing," Scott replied, though the corner of his mouth twitched slightly. "I just find it ironic. He's giving sound, completely reasonable arguments about why joking around during a mission is important." He leaned back against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest.
Jean let out a soft laugh, understanding exactly what he meant. She knew better than anyone how little patience Scott usually had for jokes when things were serious, which made his reaction now all the more entertaining.
"Third reason, and one of my personal favorites, is psychological warfare," Peter said, quickly writing the phrase down before turning around to face the class again. He spun lightly on his heel, now fully engaged with them.
"Now then," he continued, gesturing toward the group, "can someone tell me what one of the main objectives of a villain or bad guy is?"
He pointed toward them encouragingly. "Come on, shout it out."
"Getting rich!"
"That's definitely one of them," Peter said with a small laugh, "but not what I'm looking for."
"Satisfying their crazy desires!!"
"World domination!"
"Revenge?"
Spider-Man motioned for them to keep going, nodding along as more answers were thrown out. "You're overthinking it," he said, trying to guide them in the right direction without giving it away.
From the side of the room, Charles watched the exchange with a soft, approving smile. The students were engaged, their earlier hesitation replaced with genuine interest, and Spider-Man was clearly making an effort to involve everyone in the discussion. Seeing them all actively participate, with bright and eager expressions, made the entire lesson feel worthwhile.
"To be heard and respected?" one student answered, her voice carrying a bit of uncertainty.
Peter snapped his fingers and immediately pointed in her direction. She was wearing a long yellow coat, with a pair of bright visors resting on her head. "Yes, that's exactly right. What's your name, kid?"
"Jubilee, Spider-Man sir," she replied, giving a playful mock salute to her temple.
"Well, you are correct, Miss Jubilee," Peter said with a nod of approval. "A good majority of villains are after one main thing: to be respected, acknowledged, feared, and taken seriously. Quipping does the exact opposite of that. It makes them feel like they're being mocked, like you're not taking them seriously at all, and that tends to drive them absolutely bananas."
"It goes a little something like this," Peter added, turning toward the board. He suddenly moved quickly, becoming a blur as he filled the space with simple chibi drawings. There were small versions of himself and Rhino, arrows showing movement, and speech bubbles forming a rough sequence of events.
The first drawing showed a chibi Spider-Man and Rhino standing across from each other. Peter stepped to the side and began acting it out.
"So it goes a little something like this…" he said, slipping into character, using high pitch voices.
"'If I knew you were in town, Rhino, I would've brought my nail clipper,' Spider-Man taunted."
Peter shifted his posture, mimicking Rhino's bulk. "'Rahhh! Take me seriously!'" he roared.
Switching back instantly, Peter continued, "'I'm sorry, but how can anyone take you seriously when you've got an ingrown nail coming out of your forehead? You should get that checked out. Lucky for you, I know a good technician. Want their number?'"
He paused and made a quick time-out gesture with his hands. "Fun fact, for those that don't know, the horn of a rhino and a human nail are made of the same material. Also, keep in mind, for a quip to land properly, it needs to be both quick and clever."
He jumped right back into the explanation, gesturing toward the sequence of drawings. "Quip after quip, the Rhino gets more and more enraged until he stops thinking clearly and just charges in blindly. At that point, he gets sloppy, predictable, and much easier to deal with. That's when you act."
Peter moved along the board, narrating as he went. "Boom, plow, whsp, whsp, whsp," he added, making the sound effects himself while flicking his wrists to mimic web shots.
The next drawing showed Rhino with "rage" scribbled over his eyes, followed by a large cartoon dust cloud filled with flailing limbs and exaggerated onomatopoeia bursting out of it.
Finally, they reached the last image, a larger drawing of Spider-Man standing triumphantly with one foot on a defeated, webbed-up Rhino, his horn cracked, while striking an exaggerated heroic pose.
Peter cupped his hands over his mouth and began imitating a cheering crowd in a muffled voice. "Woah, Spidey! Go Spider-Man! You're the best! So incredibly handsome and talented! But we can't see his face? Ah, who cares, his personality makes up for it! Woohoo!"
The class broke into chuckles and quiet laughter, while a few of his friends simply shook their heads in amusement.
"He's having way too much fun with this," Felicia scoffed, though there was a hint of a smile there.
Peter stepped away from the board and turned back to face the class, crossing his arms with a satisfied expression. "And that is the importance of quipping, and why I place it in such high regard."
"However," he added, raising a finger slightly, "be mindful of one thing. All good things come in moderation. Despite all the advantages, there are drawbacks. The two biggest ones are, first, it becomes harder for people to take you seriously, and second, if you're not careful, you can end up annoying not just your enemies, but your close friends as well."
He paused briefly before adding, "I'm happy to say that has never been a problem for me."
"HA!" Lizzy exclaimed loudly, immediately drawing everyone's attention.
"Ignore her," Peter replied flatly without missing a beat. "She skipped breakfast and isn't feeling well."
That earned a round of chuckles from his group of friends, along with a few eye rolls as the moment settled.
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