As Jenn came back to the main living area, she saw her guards playing with the children, who didn't look like they were having fun. Something Jenn felt strange. Mostly because she felt like she should be a kid still, looking for fun outside of school, but instead she was busy trying to figure out how to be a leader for her people.
Not to mention acquiring individuals with the skills that they needed right then.
Jenn sat down near where Shirley was sitting and watching the activities of her guards and Maelias' children. She'd hardly moved from where they'd directed her to when they'd first brought her here, making Jenn wonder if maybe she'd become a little conditioned to having others in control of her from being a slave for however long it was. Jenn wasn't sure how long Shirley had been on this world, but she had a feeling it might have been longer than she imagined.
"Are you feeling alright?" Jenn asked, not sure if she should be trying to talk to Shirley right then, but knew that it probably couldn't hurt.
Shirley glanced at Jenn but didn't say anything. Instead she quickly returned her attention to what was going on nearby, making Jenn wonder if she had bad experiences with talking with others while she was a slave. Jenn couldn't say for sure, just that Shirley was still as quiet as she had been up to this point. She hoped eventually she'd be able to break through whatever it was that kept Shirley quiet, but she wasn't sure when, or if, that might happen.
Though, at the very least, she was confident that having Rick appear before her would affect her more than anything else up to this point. Maybe enough where she'd actually say something to Jenn if she still wasn't talking to Jenn at that point.
Jenn spent the time idly trying to talk with Shirley, not sure if she was even paying attention, but had a feeling that she'd at least be getting used to Jenn's voice if nothing else. Maybe even starting to connect it to memories of when Jenn had been known as Charlie.
The thought suddenly made Jenn pause, wondering what would happen when she was done here. She hadn't thought about returning to being called Charlie up to this point but suddenly realized that that's what would happen when she returned to Earth. Especially since her entire family called her Charlie and wouldn't have a reason to call her anything else when Heathcliff sent them back through time to the day where they left.
Not to mention Jenn's friends who she'd likely have to meet up with again once she'd found the crystal that contained Alairna's memories. She hadn't thought about that for so long that it almost felt like a dream from another time. Something that she had once planned on doing but now had been so focused on helping build up the settlement that she was now a completely different person.
Even though she knew that that wasn't the case.
When Maelias and Hiliash came out of their room, they were laughing together about something. Jenn couldn't tell if they'd been intimate or not with each other, but she certainly wasn't going to ask. She'd rather not have known how they'd been talking with each other before she left their room.
"What're you blushing about?" a voice suddenly asked, nearly making Jenn jump out of her skin with how surprised it made her.
Jenn looked around, and it took her a minute to realize that it was Shirley who'd spoken to her. When she realized that, she stared at Shirley for a minute, blinking, unsure how to react. Especially since it hadn't been something that she'd even tried to initiate.
"What?" Jenn managed to say, as she still hadn't fully comprehended Shirley's statement.
Shilrey sighed, sounding almost like she had in Jenn's memory, long before she'd been a slave. "You were blushing. What was there to blush about?"
Jenn blinked again one more time before her brain started working again. "Um, it's nothing. Just something that I-"
"Don't make excuses. You were thinking something that made you blush, what was it?" Shirley asked, a teasing smile forming on her lips.
Jenn felt stunned at the sudden transformation. Had Shirley been biding her time before she revealed that she had recognized Jenn? It was the only explanation that made sense to Jenn, even though she wasn't quite sure if that was the reason for her suddenly speaking or not.
"Um, it was about what I heard Maelias and Hiliash saying to each other before I left their room when they needed to talk with me," Jenn said, not able to continue looking at Shirley as she spoke. She wasn't sure if she was just embarrassed from being caught blushing or if it was still because of what she imagined had gone on between Maelias and Hiliash.
"Typical," Shirley scoffed. "Just a kid."
Jenn felt indignant at Shirley's response, but she didn't want to respond to it, as she was certain it would only confirm Shirley's assessment in some way that Jenn hadn't quite figured out.
"So, what made you want to start talking?" Jenn asked, feeling like she should change the subject to something else. Anything else, and this certainly seemed like it was a good enough topic to change it to.
"I guess it just took me a while to realize that you're still the same person that I knew before we began our expeditions and weren't just someone who looked like her," Shirley replied, her eyes growing distant as she spoke. "Not like I really knew you very well to begin with, but I certainly remember that you weren't anyone who others would look to as a leader or anything."
Jenn nodded, not sure if she should be offended by Shirley's words or not. "So, what made you realize I'm the same person you remember?"
"Well, I guess it's just when I saw you blush when those two entered the room that I realized you were just as innocent as you were when we last saw each other."
Jenn glanced at Shirley, not surprised to see her teasing smile still on her face, but somehow it didn't bother her as much as it had a moment ago. Shirley was still the same person as Jenn recalled, though Jenn wondered if maybe it was that incident that she'd chosen to not remember that made her dislike Shirley so much. Especially since she found herself longing to give up Alex just so she'd be able to spend a night with Shirley. Something that she knew she wasn't going to do while she still had Alex waiting for her. Besides, she was finding it hard to dislike Shirley right then. With all the time that had gone by since they'd seen each other.
"Well, I was surprised to see you almost catatonic with how you were acting when we saved you," Jenn said, doing what she could to put a buffer between her attraction towards Shirley and herself. She didn't want Shirley to realize that she was still as interested in her as she had been before. Though, Jenn wasn't sure that Shirley ever knew that Jenn had had a crush on her, she had a feeling that Shirley had been fully aware of that. Even if Jenn hadn't said anything about it to her.
"I just wasn't sure if I was getting someone else who thought they could own me or not," Shirley replied, sounding rather defensive to Jenn. "This world may have considered me a slave, but I'd rather die than live like that."
Jenn nodded, unable to really feel any surprise at Shirley's words. She couldn't say that she might not have felt the same in Shirley's shoes.
Shirley sighed before Jenn could think of anything else to say. "What's your story anyway? How'd you end up in charge of… your unit?" Shirley asked, looking like she wasn't sure what to call Jenn's squad.
"Oh, there's been a few things that happened," Jenn answered evasively. She wasn't sure how to explain everything anyway. Even if she wanted to share the fact that she was the Blue Rose, she wasn't sure if she'd be able to explain everything that had happened anyway. "I'm sure Rick would be able to fill you in on some details I might forget."
Shirley's eyes widened. "He's okay?"
Jenn nodded. "Yeah, apparently he escaped being a slave, though I don't recall if he told me how or not, but we found him in the Forest of the Lost and managed to convince him to stay with us."
Jenn wasn't sure if she should say anything about the woman that Rick had been going out with. At that moment, she couldn't remember if he'd gotten married to her or not, but if nothing else, she was confident that Shirley would find out about that soon enough when she spoke to Rick.
"So, what do I gotta do to get you to let me go?" Shirley asked, suddenly sounding rather pessimistic.
Jenn shook her head. "Actually, where we were taking you was where Rick should be right now. As far as we're concerned you're not a slave at this point, but that doesn't mean that if you try to go your own way here, you'd be able to remain that way. Especially with those who probably would rather have you stay as a slave rather than having been freed."
Shirley looked at Jenn for a minute before shaking her head, either in annoyance or disgust. Jenn couldn't tell. "I'm not Fleetwood Mac, so I don't need to be told that."
Jenn felt stunned. She wasn't sure what Shirley was referring to or what she meant. Nor was she sure how to respond to her statement.
Shirley sighed, sounding even more annoyed. "Seriously? You don't know who Fleetwood Mac is?"
Jenn slowly shook her head, not sure if her voice would betray what she was currently feeling right then.
"Figures. Fleetwood Mac is a music group. They're an older one, but one of my favorite songs of theirs is 'Go Your Own Way' and what you said made me think of them."
Jenn blinked. She wasn't sure if Shirley was going for it, but it felt like it was an obscure reference. She couldn't say that she really understood it, but it did kind of make sense. Even if she wasn't really following Shirley's logic behind her words.
"Never mind," Shirley sighed, looking even more annoyed. "I don't have time to walk you through it."
Jenn looked around, unsure if Shirley really understood her position here. "Actually, we kinda have nothing but time."
Shirley rolled her eyes. "Maybe, but I don't feel like explaining it to you. Is that good enough."
Jenn couldn't help but feel a little stung by Shirley's words. She wasn't sure why, but it almost felt like Shirley was deliberately trying to provoke Jenn for reasons she couldn't quite explain. So, Jenn just stood up and walked over to Yaeliash.
"I think I'll take first watch tonight," she said quietly, not wanting Shirley to overhear. "The girl you had set to watch me while I slept today fell asleep herself, so I think it'd be good for everyone who didn't get as much sleep today as I got to get some sleep."
Yaelish looked like she wanted to argue, but with Jenn's last sentence, she looked like she was deflating. Almost like Jenn's words had let the air out of something inside Yaelish.
"If you have something you want to say, just tell me," Jenn urged. "I won't get mad or anything."
Yaelish looked like she wasn't convinced but said anyway, "Are you sure you're not tired yourself? I can stand watch if you are."
Jenn shook her head. "I'm perfectly fine and I wouldn't be surprised if you were up all day today looking after things while I slept. So, unless you have a good reason, I'll need to insist that you get some sleep yourself."
"But-" Yaelish started to say, but Jenn held up a hand, stopping her.
"If something happens, I'll need you at full strength. Which isn't something that you'll be able to do if you're still tired from being awake for too long."
Yaelish looked like she wanted to argue more, but instead she slowly nodded. "I understand, my lady."
Jenn glanced to where Maelias and Hiliash were either playing with their children or working on preparing something to eat. She hoped that they didn't catch what Yaelish had said, but it wasn't like she'd be able to do anything about it if they had. Not when the words had already been spoken.
"Please don't call me that when there's others present. You know I don't want that sort of thing known," Jenn said quietly, doing what she could to talk circumspectly while driving the point she was trying to make home for Yaelish.
Yaelish looked at their hosts and her eyes went wide. "I'm sorry, my- captain," she corrected herself, almost calling her the same thing, if not something worse. Jenn had a feeling that Yaelish had been about to call her 'my rose' or something. Something that she had a feeling would tie her directly to being the Blue Rose. Even though she didn't have any reason to think that, it was just what she felt right then.
"Just try to stop calling me that. When we leave here, we're going to have others who don't know who I am, and you know I'd prefer to keep it that way."
Yaelish nodded, looking like she wanted to salute Jenn, but kept herself from doing just that. Jenn wasn't sure herself if that would have heped matters or not. Only that Yaelish would probably accept what she'd said. Which meant that Jenn would have to try and convince her other guards of what she wanted. Something she had a feeling would likely be an uphill battle, considering how some didn't really care about the restrictions that Jenn had put on them with her trying to keep others from knowing that she was the Blue Rose. In fact, Jenn knew of one who seemed to resent that fact that Jenn wanted to keep others from knowing that she was the Blue Rose herself. Something that Jenn couldn't say that she found all that surprising but was a little annoyed by it. As part of her didn't like hiding any part of herself. She just knew that she probably would make things harder for herself if she had made it publicly known that she was the Blue Rose from the start.
Plus, while Jianopra would likely have still been alive, Jenn would probably been killed herself. As she certainly hadn't seen the danger approaching and so wouldn't have been able to stop the assassin from killing her like she'd killed Jianopra.
Not to mention the fact that Jenn would have been extremely limited on what she'd have been able to do. Like how she wouldn't have been able to be there for Nibbles when she'd encountered him on the run from the wolf-kin tribe or have met Emily when she'd visited Duchess Versith with the centaurs. Although, she might have been able to make an exception, given how she'd been advised by the centaurs how she needed to go herself. Even though Jenn still wasn't sure who it was that she had been supposed to have met, the one born under the Sword star or whatever.
Another aspect would be that she wouldn't have been able to come on this trip, which would mean that they'd likely not have purchased, and saved, Shirley, nor would they likely have helped those who were struggling with the debt collectors and might have returned without having gotten anyone with the skills they needed.
And while they still might not get those with the skills they were looking for, they were at least getting some people who had various skills that would probably be useful in other ways wanting to accompany them back to the settlement.
Jenn sighed. She was confident in what path she'd chosen, but she wished that it was as easy to get others to understand that themselves. Especially when they didn't like having to hide it themselves. A point Jenn supposed she understood, in that they likely looked up to her or whatever, even if she was younger than most of her people.
Though, she couldn't help but wonder what might be different for Cithis and Haln if she had made herself known as the Blue Rose, since that would make them the adopted children of the Blue Rose. Which Jenn had a feeling might make them royalty to her people if they were aware of who Jenn was herself.
One thing that Jenn would have been okay with not experiencing was Gishia's advances. Especially since she was very confident that Gishia was looking more for a conquest than an actual relationship. Which Jenn might have been okay with if it wasn't for other aspects, like having Alex waiting for her back on Earth. Or for the fact that she had too much self-respect to let herself be used and demeaned like that.
Although, it made Jenn wonder if she shouldn't talk to Tchisa about getting Gishia sent somewhere that would keep her too busy to think of who to get in her bed next. Even though Jenn couldn't think of any assignment that would do the trick for Gishia. At least not when she had others around her. Not to mention how Gishia seemed adept at finding girls who were always willing to get in bed with her. Which Jenn still found mind boggling.
Though, Jenn didn't care enough about that to try and figure it out. Especially when she had a feeling it was just one of those things that she just wasn't going to understand. Ever.