That day was just a start, somehow I started seeing him more often, not at the mall or on the street, but as in cafes with my family or going shopping in the city with the girls to find him already at a nearby Airbnb with his guys on their bikes, usually I'll shoot a smile or two, but whenever I saw his face I became this red mess and ignored him without realizing, but he never let it pass, when I was with my parents, aunts and some of my cousins in a really nice restaurant_ acting like family when we're actually the furthest thing from that_he came to the table and introduced himself as my friend of course I brushed him off making them think he was an elementary classmate of mine, they believed me of course, their little girl who is in an all girls school can't have a boy friend, not realizing this little girl has been in his house talking about the kids she wanted to have in her ideal world, why the hell did I tell him that again?
Anyway, that day I had to give him my phone number to leave me alone, and ever since he didn't stop calling and texting me, I mostly replied in text but on specific days I'll answer his calls, and we will talk for hours, if we met on the streets we wave or smile just like normal acquaintances but when we're on the phone it's like his my guy friend, you know, the kind to never stop flirting or asking you out, still a friend though, I've known since the first day we meet that he was a weirdo, turned out? he became my weirdo and I became fairly open with him over phone_and slowly when we hang out irl_ I think it has something to do with his voice, his deep raspy voice, that usually has a sleepy/tired vibe to it.
I did give him a hard time for the restaurant thingy but as soon as he gave me chocolate, I forgot why I was mad, thinking back I must have been dumb, there were warning sign everywhere throughout our whole friendship, he never, not once missed a chance to flirt with me, I was the only one considering him a friend __ well, I thought he flirted with me for giggles and not because he liked me, couldn't believe it at the time__ thankfully my 16 year old self noticed, and so I started hinting I was annoyed without being obvious, because to be honest at that specific time I needed him, his phone calls, the little pics he sends randomly throughout the day, a true friend, it was the time I realized the difference between a friend and a classmate, but I didn't want to undermind his feelings and be like 'I'm sorry but I know you don't actually romantically like me so stop asking me out, I know it's what started our friendship but you don't have to keep the act up, you keeping it for a year was impressive enough, stop!'
Where I messed up was the hints I dropped were stuff like 'that boy over there is cute' 'your friend looks so nice I think I might have a tiny crush on him' 'that actor is smoking hot if you know what I mean '....
His usual response would be:
'they don't deserve you.'
... I was blind as shit, how did I not figure him out sooner, I could have saved him....
Well , what do I expect from the 16 year old who's family neglected her, who's classmates mocked her behind her back for faking an illness just to get attention, a weak girl who just got the chance to escape the loneliness of 5 miserable years she spent between 4 walls looking for someone's approval_ she'd already gave up on her family's_ and of course he was first in line, with the perfect timing and coincidentally the exact samepreferences .
I liked a certain movie, it was his favorite all of the sudden, a make up brand I was obsessed with at the time, he won at fair and a whole pack of that same brand was suddenly the prize which he gave to me, a local artist I followed and suddenly it's his friend...just suddenly .
And it was all legit, he never lied, actually he never lies to me..... He just hides the truth. I know because I checked, he said details about my favorite movie I didn't know about, the fair? The organization did competitions very often actually and I was the one who pushed him to compete, he facetimed the cute singer in front of me, God damnit...
It was just happy accidents all year long when I was 16.
At 17 I started to rebuild my relationship with my family _ mostly because of the nonstop nightmares I had about Layla _ he didn't like it, I shared our time with them, he was pissed actually, it was his first time screaming at me over the phone when I told him I can't hang out because I'm playing board games with my cousins, he hang up, called after 5 minutes later and apologized, again he promised me chocolate which I got and forgave him.
We slowly drifted apart, on my side at least, I was too busy with family and my studies plus the part time job I got, which I bought a new phone with the salary_ you 'll think a psycho like him will show up at my job randomly, he didn't _ I didn't see him much, and I didn't bother to call. My birthday is at the end of the school year, so, after I graduate high school on my 18th birthday, a package was at my door step.
The curious 18 year old took the package inside, sat in her bed, and opened the package to find.... Love letters, 324 to be exact, the note on the package read ' a letter for everyday you didn't see me and for everyday I watched you, princess '
I tried reading the letters but of course I didn't have time for all them, fucking 324... Who does that? Oh wait, he does! It was obvious...
I counted the times we hang out when I was 17 in my dairies, it was 41 days....
But no, ofc a 18 year old would think it was a secret lover of hers. I'm ashamed because that illusion stopped only two years ago when I was 19 after I finally finished reading all the cute letters, which always described me as a goddess, the daily bost to my confidence was good ngl , I flipped the package upside down to see it I missed a letter.... There was something... Not a letter... It was a s*x toy, a d*ldo to be specific, with the note that read:
'a mold of mine enjoy yourself angel'
.... I burned it along with the letters. Only then, I was scared because I thought it was a pervert who sent them, I should have known it was the devil himself.