If she was going into such a thing, then she needed to have her mind completely on it without there being anything getting in her way.
That was her way of committing to it all, just like how most soldiers or police officers usually handled most matters and left behind a final letter in their lockers, as they were aware of the fact that each time they went out, it could potentially be their last.
Ash did not have loved ones to leave letters or a will to or anything else like that, which needed to be completed should she one day die, but what she was currently doing was her own way of doing something like that.
If there was the slightest chance that she would be unable to return, then there would be something left behind, even if there were no friends, loved ones or family to leave anything to.
If it were the past, when she was going to get involved with something dangerous, she never had anything else to do before she went into a dangerous situation.
