It wasn't a decision he had made at the spur of the moment. And he kept reminding himself that he had made the right decision. Of course, he had.
He couldn't have just let her go on her own, and she felt responsible for her people. He knew this. Felt this, and thought he could honor it.
She turned to him when they reached the entrance and tugged at their linked hands,
" I never told you what's wrong?" He drew his brows in confusion at her words,
" wrong with what?" He asked and she shook her head,
" with Fae." His lips formed an oh and he nodded,
" figured you would when you were ready. We didn't exactly start off on a good note," he said and shrugged, and she shrugged as well,
"We are in a good place now, are we not?" And that actually made him smile,
" I suppose we are." She smiled back and looked around them, " I really don't know everywhere around this place, the last time I was here was your welcome party and I didn't stay for long. Can you show me?"
He stared into her eyes for what seemed like forever. It would have been too easy, just too easy to forget about all those years they were separated, to forget how badly it had hurt and draw her into his arms, and kiss her senseless.
But it had been too long since he ran toward easy. So instead he looked around them and nodded.
"I don't know this place like the back of my hand. Even after being here so long, I find that Borne still has some surprises for me." He looked at her and nodded once more, " But I suppose I could show you a place or two "
~~~~
She knew he held back. And she could not say just how bad it hurt to see the way he kept up a wall between the both of them.
But was it not for the best?
Sure he had said he'd go with her, and he couldn't deny that that left her feeling grateful and happy. But the honest to God-truth was when all was said and done, and so God help them, they survived, she would go back to Fae. And he wouldn't.
She couldn't let herself hope and dream of a time and place that had him in it, because hope left her feeling broken inside, not when she hoped for a life with Cephas, not when that didn't seem like it was meant to happen.
And it hurt so bad. Wasn't that why she had spent so many nights after their separation in tears?
She would call out for him and he wouldn't be there and then she would curse the thing that was Love because it was that which made her bleed from the inside out.
She had been so in love with him, but they had been young and maybe that had been the reason why it didn't stay. Or maybe they weren't just meant to be.
Eventually, she had learned to immerse herself so deeply in her duty, in her devotion to her people. That had been enough to get her through.
And now, those people were in trouble, and she owed them nothing other than to keep them safe, to protect them the way they had protected her from dying from a broken heart all those years ago.
"Whenever I have something on my mind, I usually come here to think," Cephas said when they came to a maple tree that stood on a valley. It had a good view of Borne and made her heart soar. She pulled her hand free from his and walked a little bit further. The view was majestic. Birds soared freely and the highlands were all but intimidating in their place.
she loved it.
When she turned around, she was grinning and he walked toward her,
" Like it?"
" yes," she said breathlessly. "
It's like looking at God." He barked out a laugh and she shook her head, smiling and undaunted.
"What?"
" you know, Cephas? How creation tells a story, this one tells a story about its maker, Majestic, and Glorious."
He smiled at her analogy and she took his hand once more, leading him to the maple tree,
" seems like a good place to tell you all that ails my mind."