I hadn't slept for a single second since Bell vanished.
Every street, every alley, every place she liked to linger—I searched them all until dawn painted the sky pale. I found nothing. Not a trace of her.
By the time the second day broke, my body was wasted. My eyelids heavy. My soul heavier.
If Bell was the only one who could save Miss Elsa… then every second wasted meant I was pushing her closer to death.
But the cruel truth was I had no idea where to find her.
My thoughts spun endlessly, circling nothing but guilt. My baseless anger. My words that cut Bell down when she had only called me "Papa."
I slammed a fist into the desk, the echo like a gunshot through the suffocating silence. "…Damn it… I'm such an idiot."
Knock, knock.
The sudden sound jerked me upright.
"White! Hey White, open up—it's me!" a familiar voice called.
Zen.
I dragged myself to the door, swung it open—and blinked. Zen stood there, his usual grin ghosted with worry, with Shu quietly at his side in her uniform, her eyes soft, hesitant.
"What are you two doing here?" My voice cracked, hoarse with exhaustion. "Sorry, but… could you come back another time?"
Zen frowned, arms crossed. "We've been worried about you, idiot. And…" His eyes softened. "…Shu said she wanted to come too. She asked if she could… check up on you."
I turned to Shu. She shifted awkwardly, her eyes darting away, but she spoke gently, her words surprisingly warm. "White… you don't look well. If something's wrong, please… talk to us."
Zen studied me closer, and his eyes widened. "…Dude, you look like the walking dead. No sleep?"
The truth clung to me visibly—I must've looked as ruined as I felt. "I… I couldn't sleep."
Zen's voice grew stern. "Why haven't you answered calls? And leaving school without a word… seriously, you're scaring us, White."
"I…" My throat tightened. Every word scraped like glass just to get out. "…It's… Elsa… Miss Elsa…"
Before I could finish, my vision tilted. My chest seized. The room spun. Shu's voice called faintly, Zen's arm caught me as my knees buckled—
And then the world crashed into darkness.
Voices drifted faintly through the haze.
"Hey! White, White—" That was Zen, panicked, right beside me.
"Lay him on the bed." Shu's voice, soft but firm.
They carried me inside, lowering me to the mattress. My body, puppeted by exhaustion, refused to move.
Shu's voice whispered faintly above me. "He… he mentioned Miss Elsa."
Zen's sigh came next. "Yeah. She's… you don't know her?"
Shu shook her head.
"Elsa's… like his family," Zen explained quietly. "Not blood related. She took him in after… everything. He was just a kid back then. If it wasn't for her, White…" His voice trailed off. "He wouldn't even be here today."
"…Adopted?" Shu murmured, her usual composed mask breaking slightly.
"…Sort of." Zen rubbed the back of his head. "I don't know the whole story. Just… Elsa gave him a home. She was all he had."
Their voices faded as I fell deeper into unconsciousness.
And in that darkness, memories rose.
My grandmother's voice—faint, like an echo from across time.
She'd told me once about my mother. About how she fell for a man, deep and foolishly, how she thought love could conquer everything. How that love turned into me.
But he hadn't wanted me.
He wanted her to erase me.
And when my mother refused, he vanished.
My grandmother tried. My mother tried, too. Or maybe she tried. But the years ate away at her. Hope turned sour. Nights drowned in bottles and smoke.
At five years old, she'd stopped speaking to me entirely. As if I was a ghost haunting her house, the reason her love was gone.
At eight, my grandmother passed. The only one who even tried to shield me then was gone.
And my mother…
That day. The day she told me to wait in front of a building. She smiled faintly, told me she'd be back soon. Promised.
But she never came back.
Hours turned into days. Days into forever.
A child abandoned, left to wander streets and survive on scraps, rain soaking through rags. I still remember crying beneath some rusted staircase, my voice hoarse, begging a mother's name that never answered.
The rain that day was merciless.
It soaked through my thin shirt, turning the fabric as heavy as lead, clinging cold against my skin. My small hands were numb, shaking as I wrapped my arms around my knees under the rusted staircase.
I was tired of crying. Tired of being hungry. Tired of waiting for a mother who never returned.
At some point, even my voice had given out.
If I closed my eyes, maybe I would just disappear. Maybe it would hurt less.
"…Hey."
A voice broke through the storm.
When I lifted my head, I saw her.
A girl, holding an umbrella above her head, shielding herself from the downpour. Her raven-black hair stuck to her cheeks, damp at the ends, yet she smiled at me as if none of it mattered.
She stepped closer, tilting the umbrella so it covered me too. The sudden absence of rain above my head made me blink in confusion.
Her warmth, her presence, her kindness—it felt almost unreal, like a storybook. Who would bother saving a stray like me?
"You'll get sick sitting there," she said softly. "Come under with me."
My lips parted, but no words came. My throat hurt too much to speak, and even if it didn't… what could I possibly say? That I was abandoned? That no one wanted me?
She crouched down to meet my eyes. Her uniform was damp, her shoes soaked, but she didn't care. She only cared about me.
"What's your name?" she asked with a smile gentle enough to break me.
"…W-White." My voice came out cracked, trembling.
"White." She repeated it as if it was precious. "That's a nice name."
I felt my chest tighten. To her, my name wasn't a burden. It wasn't a curse. She said it like it meant something.
"Do you live near here? I can walk you home."
"…I don't know."
Her head tilted in surprise. "Don't know?"
"I don't… have a home anymore," I whispered, my throat catching.
Her eyes flickered with sadness, but she only smiled warmer. "Then maybe the police—"
"No!" I flinched, the thought of being dragged back to my mother freezing me in place. I shook my head violently. "I… I don't want to."
Why? She asked with her eyes, but I couldn't speak it aloud. Because my mother doesn't want me.
I clenched my fists tightly. If I admitted that, it would become too real. It would shatter me completely.
She studied me quietly. I waited for her pity. For her to walk away, like everyone else did.
But instead, she sat beside me. Under the same umbrella. As if being drenched together was better than leaving me alone.
"One day," she said suddenly, gazing at the soft break of clouds. "Rain will always stop. No matter how heavy it is. And when it does… there's always a rainbow waiting after."
Her words reached somewhere deep inside me, a place I thought had frozen over long ago.
The downpour slowed. My heartbeat matched hers, steady and calm. For the first time, I wasn't just a child alone in the storm.
I was… seen.
Finally, as I gathered the courage to stand and leave to scavenge for food again, her voice called out sharply behind me.
"Wait, White!"
I froze, turning with wide eyes.
She took a step forward, her umbrella still shielding me though the skies were clearing. Her smile was radiant, honest—sunlight after the storm.
"If you don't want to go home… then come to mine. My family will take you in."
Her words stopped my breath.
I had been expecting maybe food. A blanket, if I was lucky. But never this. Never the one thing I thought was impossible.
"A… home?" My voice broke as tears welled up.
She nodded firmly, with the kind of conviction that made me believe again.
"Yes. You don't have to be alone anymore. You can come live with me."
The dam burst. Tears poured freely down my cheeks, hotter even than the rain. I hiccupped, wiping them with grubby hands, but the more she smiled, the more I cried.
Because for the first time in my life, someone actually wanted me.
She stepped closer, her voice gentler than the falling drizzle. "My name is Elsa. But if you want…" Her smile softened with warmth. "…You can call me 'Big Sis.'"
In that moment—that single, impossible moment—she wasn't just a stranger.
She became my world.
My miracle.
The light that saved me from the darkness