During my 2nd grade, I was transferred to a special class. Being a transferee at that tender age can result in anything from the best to the worst. Will they accept the foreign being or reject it entirely? Children get along well when they think that you're worthy to be part of their group. Because of my face and family background, my classmates warmed up to me in no time. But in a group of 40, 2 or 5 children still dislike you for the most ridiculous reasons. Being a latecomer, I was always on the receiving end of their suspicions. They only accepted me because of how I looked but would judge my academic ability and my personality within the social circle.
It's quite funny how people think that the adult world is messed up. But the children's world is way more so. Adults can stand up for themselves. They are adults. But to us, children at that time, being shunned meant being shunned from everything else. No friends, no fun, no opportunities, and most importantly... no hope for the future. Kids thought that eating alone was equivalent to isolating pain. The confidence you've built up will rot in a slow painstaking manner as your classmates laugh at you and openly criticize you for how you look, for who your parents were, and for how badly you perform.
I was never one who openly competes for grades, but I always maintain the top 10 spot. Being part of the top students was worth 5 points toward popularity. A pretty face is merely a bonus. If you don't show everyone your capabilities, you were as good as fodder. Children like to stick to people who are smart, rich, friendly, and pretty all of that at the same time. Be sure you have at least two qualities to maintain your position in the social circle. Having three made you a prince or princess; having all four made you the monarch.
If you want to be accepted, you need to fit in. And that's what I did. And I was everyone's queen.
Until high school came, that is. People said it was the best years of their lives, and here I am, lying in the middle of the street on the very first day of what was supposed to be the best years of my life.
To those who want to know how death feels... it hurts. It goddamn hurts. I felt like my whole body was on fire and I felt the cold seeping through my bones. It felt like needles prickling my very own flesh. I've read that some people saw flashes of their memories right before them, but my thoughts were elsewhere. Do I have a decent photo worth a funeral? I hope no one opens my computer.