[Taking advantage of a poor girl like that just to fill the emptiness in your heart is pathetic, Alek.]
That woman's voice, again, echoed in the depths of Toru's mind.
He opened his eyes, finding himself as always in the ocean of blood, sitting on the ground and chained to the blood.
Toru wanted to ignore what this woman was saying, but she just kept talking on and on.
[You know it well, my child. You're still the same selfish and cruel child.]
Toru gasped...
"You don't know anything. You never know anything. You don't know me and you don't know what I want. How could you know me? If at that time you never bothered to know your own son. You have no right to say anything, you have no right to think of me as a bad person when you were worse" Toru said, hugging himself and hiding his head between his knees.
Biserka laughed and the souls around him seemed to do the same. It sounded like a hellish chorus echoing with whispers from beyond the grave.
[There is none so blind as he who will not see.]
This woman's soul may be hypocritical, but she had grounds for saying so.
Approaching her son's soul, Biserka covered Toru's eyes with her hands, this being symbolic of what she had just said. Someone who doesn't want to see...
She then whispered in his ear.
[At some point you will break. You won't be able to take it anymore and eventually you will lose yourself. We will be waiting for that moment. When that happens, you will understand what you are and what you always were. You will hurt everyone around you and finally become what you were always meant to be. You will be a monster]
Just as Biserka said that, Toru opened his eyes and found himself in Gray's room. The place was a bit dark, lit only by a dim yellow light bulb.
"Gray...", he whispered as he looked to his side.
There was Gray, sleeping peacefully as if she didn't have a care in the world. She was hugging Toru and had a slight calm smile on her face.
"Oh..." Toru realized they were both naked. He touched his head painfully, as if regretting his actions and rested his head on the pillow.
Looking at Gray, stroking her hair, Toru somehow felt calmer. After hearing all those souls laugh, he thought he was forgetting something, but that didn't matter anymore. Gray is here, and dwelling on that nonsense wouldn't fix anything. From thinking about it so much, Toru would go back to being the same old depressing guy. Repeating the same cycle is boring, he told Svin so himself earlier.
"Hm..." Gray moved her eyelids and slowly opened her eyes. She felt something warm touching her and, half asleep, she sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes.
"Good morning, Gray" Toru said.
Gray, while rubbing her eyes, replied. "Good morning, Toru", but after that, she realized that she was naked. She looked at Toru and he was naked too. There she understood everything and the memories of the previous day came back all at once.
All those wild moments melted in her mind. She remembered herself moaning and screaming Toru's name as they had sex. That made Gray's face turn red and consequently....
"Ahhhhhhh!"
She screamed at the top of her lungs as she got out of bed holding the sheets to cover herself, but as she did, she saw the bed wet from all the orgasms she had.
On the verge of tears, Gray lost strength in her legs and fell to her knees.
"It hurts....", that specific spot. A stabbing pain, but strangely pleasurable. "I... we..."
Toru was still sitting on the bed, naked and not knowing what to say. Konan didn't react like this the first time they did it, but he remembered that Gray is different from her. This girl is very shy and needs someone to guide her so she won't be scared by something so common.
With that in mind, he got out of bed and approached Gray. He held out his hand for her to take and said: "I really don't understand why you're so upset. Remember a little, we both agreed."
Gray remembered, yes, but she did all that yesterday because she was jealous of Reines. She lost control and threw herself on top of Toru to do all those things.
"Don't cry. It's better when you smile" Toru said.
That made this silly girl realize that she was making a fuss over nothing. She wiped away her tears and took Toru's hand.
"I'm sorry. Ouch... it hurts...", she stood up and touched her belly with her hand. "I feel like I was ripped in two... It was so big..."
Sometimes Gray forgot that she could feel embarrassed. Before her face turned red again, Gray shook her head and slapped her cheeks twice. Then she looked at Toru and dropped the sheets.
"Toru..."
That's right... They both did all those things yesterday. She felt those memories. She looked at herself, kissing and biting Toru like a perverted girl. Toru had done the same thing.
Gray felt a soft ache all over her body from the kisses Toru left on her. Her thighs were full of red and purple marks, as were her neck and breasts.
"Will nothing in us change after this?", her question stemmed from fear of change. She was fine with her relationship with Toru until a day ago, but after having sex with him, she thought everything would change.
Toru casually replied. "I don't think anything will change. We'll be able to continue living as we have been. We'll still be Gray and Toru."
Oh... Those were the words she wanted to hear. She understood why she had fallen in love with Toru. So she walked up to him and kissed him.
"As always, I'll be in your care, Toru."
"Hm. I'll give my best."
The relationship of these two teenagers had begun.
***
Now Gray was walking to school. She had missed yesterday because she had been busy with Toru all day.
"Look at that stupid grin on your face. I can tell you were left satisfied. Did you at least take a shower?", that was Add, rattling around inside his cage, screaming for punishment, but the girl didn't say anything about it.
Gray just walked with a soft smile on her face. Nothing else mattered to her now. Gray was happy with everything that was happening. Add really was right, she is satisfied, for she had never felt this way in her life.
There was something odd, though. Gray was in a little bit of pain when she walked. It wasn't a pain that was going to kill her, but it was somewhat annoying.
With a very calm walk, with all the people watching the beautiful somber girl smiling happily, Gray finally arrived at the Department of Modern Magecraft.
She looked around the building and wondered what she will tell the others by her absence. However, with the dematerialized Toru by her side, the answer to the question wasn't so important. She was fine with everything and that's enough. Nothing else mattered.
Gray walked deeper into the building looking for the classroom, but noticed that everyone was looking at her strangely. She didn't understand what these looks were about. And Toru, who was walking beside Gray in his invisible mode, also wondered what was going on.
Being near the classroom, Gray stopped, as she came across two blond boys arguing. It was an everyday scene that had been repeated many times before and Gray was used to watching such a scene.
Seeing them so involved in their argument, Gray smiled as she could tell that these boys got along very well even though they tended to fight quite often.
"Oh. Gray? Gray!", Flat was the first to notice Gray's presence. He ran like a maniac to get closer to Gray.
As he stopped, Flat's feet skidded on the ground and he raised his hand in greeting.
"Good morning! I thought you would be busy on some secret mission with our charismatic professor and that's why you were absent yesterday?"
"Ah... Well, it was something like that, I think" Gray replied.
"Hm...did something happen to you, Gray? I feel like you're different, somehow or other."
When Flat said that, Svin came walking over at a relaxed pace. His expression was a bit askew due to the fact that he sensed the horrible rotting scent that Toru generates. This time, there was something else in that scent....
'Gray...?', he noticed that Toru's scent was heavily mixed with Gray's scent. Moreover, Gray now reeked of death.
He immediately looked up and peered behind Gray. He knew Toru was there, watching him. He clenched his fists tightly, flooded with anger and jealousy, but from one moment to the next he calmed down. After what happened that day, Svin felt it wasn't worth suffering like a fool over a fight he's never going to win.
"Good morning, Gray-", however, Svin, being distracted, had not noticed Gray's expression. At the sight of her, his voice was choked and his eyes widened.
"Oh. Good morning", she said.
Gray looked more radiant than ever. She had slightly flushed cheeks and the aura around her was different. Flat was saying something about that.
"I feel like you grew more..."
"I don't know what you mean" Gray replied.
Flat shook his head. "I mean it. It's like you're an adult. Something about you is strange. It's like everything around you is glowing with flowers and roses. Did something good happen to you?"
Gray ducked her gaze. After that, she looked at Flat smiling and said, "It's a secret", and left for the classroom.
Toru sighed and followed her. While Flat scratched his head in confusion, Svin had fallen to his knees on the floor, dumbfounded by this new discovery.
"A goddess...", he whispered.
"Is something wrong, Le Chien, does your stomach hurt?"
"I've discovered a new religion..."
Svin was saying strange things and Flat looked at him very confused. Of course, people passing nearby were watching the show the two blond twins were putting on. It was entertaining to watch those two perform.
***
After the boring classes, Gray walked with Toru back home. It was quite early, as classes ended at two o'clock in the afternoon. Now she had the rest of the day off.
The only thing she could think of to do to kill time, and the only thing she wanted to do, was to walk next to Toru like a couple in love.
Her classmates often remarked how different Gray looked, but she couldn't see the change in herself. To others, however, it was all too obvious. Gray at no time took her eyes off Toru, who walked beside her dressed as a butler.
She looked at Toru's face, his eyes, his nose, the lips that kissed her so passionately. She really liked looking at Toru, for in her eyes he is the most handsome man of all, but because she was so distracted looking at Toru, she didn't notice that there was a pole in front of her. Just a second later the metallic sound of a thump was heard and Gray fell to her knees with a red forehead from the blow.
Passersby looked at her, but then ignored her. Toru, for his part, bent down to look at Gray.
"What happened, didn't you see the pole, that I had you so distracted you didn't notice where you were going?"
Toru's obvious questions caused Gray to lower her gaze. Her face flushed slightly and, by the time she looked up again, she answered him:
"You... I was thinking about you..."
Toru raised his eyebrows and remembered this morning's conversation with Biserka. That woman had never met her own son, but this girl....
'There's no way that woman is right. I'm always right, my calculations don't fail. But if I think about it, I sound like Alek.'
At this point Toru thinks of himself as a different entity than Alek Gusev, even if they are both the same person and share the same tortuous past.
Pushing away the heavy thoughts, Toru held out his hand.
"I see. Let me help you", he took Gray's hand and helped her up. However, because Gray is very light, Toru's strength propelled him a little, causing the two of them to end up hugging in the end. "I'm sorry. We should-"
Toru stopped, Gray hugged him tightly, burying her face in his chest. She took a deep breath, trying to hold Toru's scent close to her. Her face flushed and she closed her eyes to cherish this moment.
"Toru..."
This was similar to many moments she had imagined and read about in books. On the bridge, surrounded by people, but alone within the moment, holding each other, sharing the sweet warmth of their love.
She looked at him and finally blurted out the most dangerous words Toru could ever hear.
"I love you."
Toru opened his eyes, startled for an instant, but then he hugged Gray. He didn't answer her, he would never do that, but his silence and the hug made the misunderstanding grow in Gray's heart.
She took this as an answer. A "yes" without needing to use words.
However, Toru's mind at that moment went into chaos. He already assumed this, for he is not as dense as he seems. Hearing those sad words reminded him of many things, as well as everything that comes with being loved by someone. For Gray those were the most important words of her life, for Toru, the most painful thing he could hear in a long time.
"Let's go home. Maybe Waver-sensei is already back."
"Uh. That's right", she said, letting go of her embrace with Toru. "I haven't called the teacher to find out how he's doing. He's probably had a lot of things happen to him."
"Don't worry about that, he's a cunning man. He can escape death a few more times."
Having changed the subject as if to breathe, Toru tried to move forward in front of Gray, but she grabbed his hand and smiled at him with unbelievable warmth.
Toru's heart squeezed, he felt guilty. Guilt is something he never forgets, no matter how hard he tries to erase it from his mind. Guilt runs his life, but so does sadness and loneliness, but with Gray that didn't exist. Being with her erased that loneliness and sadness completely. This girl was a ray of light in the dark ocean of blood, but that was what made Toru think about what Biserka said this morning.
He is simply taking advantage of this girl to fill the void in his heart. Toru doesn't know if that's true. He wants to believe that there is still something deeper and warmer in his own shattered heart, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized that maybe that woman's words are the truth.
Still.
"You're beautiful, Gray."
As usual, he was going to ignore his own feelings, he was going to lock them away deep in his blood so as not to become a problem and live with this for the rest of his life.
"Am I beautiful?", wondered Gray.
"You are. Not just on the outside. Gray is beautiful."
Gray, who was hiding in Arturia Pendragon's body, she was beautiful regardless of her appearance. Gray was grateful to Toru for that. Her love for him would only be greater if this boy continues to say that kind of thing, but her love for a second blinded her, as she didn't see the expression on Toru's face.
That empty, but strangely saddened look.
***
Arriving home, Toru noticed the presence of someone else besides the maid and Sakura. That presence was quite familiar, it was Waver.
"Looks like he's already back," Toru said. Beside him, Gray was holding his arm as if they were a couple in love. Well, they are a couple in love, after all.
Without another word, they both entered the house, but it was empty from the start. There was no one in the lobby, and it seemed no one in the office either.
"Is he in Sakura's room?", asked Gray.
Toru nodded and walked up the stairs accompanied by the girl. Opening the door to Sakura's room, Waver was sitting next to her, holding her hand with his eyes closed.
This servant, as insensitive as ever, was quick to make a comment that would offend anyone.
"Are you practicing telepathy? I don't think she's going to hear your thoughts."
Waver's eyes widened. "Assassin, Lady."
"Professor... what happened to your arm?"
Sure enough, Waver's arm was full of white bandages with blood stains.
The man, perhaps trying to look cool in front of his students, downplayed his pain by saying, "Stuff happens on the job. You should know by now, it happens all the time."
While that may be true, Gray couldn't allow that.
"So...did anything happen while I was gone?"
Gray was still hugging Toru. That made Waver already have his theories about it. For her part, Gray, realizing that she was being a shameless girl, let go of Toru and looked away.
"Nothing much happened, really."
"Hahahaha. I think things did happen", Add laughed after what Toru said.
But leaving that aside.
"Assassin, I need to talk to you. Go to my office."
"Ok. I'll be there right now", he immediately replied in a monotone tone of voice. The next second, his body collapsed, fading into nothingness, which left Waver and Gray alone on the spot.
...
"You look better, lady."
"What?", she was confused. Even the professor was saying the same thing as the others.
"I mean you don't have the same expression as when you first came to London. Congratulations. I'm sorry I wasn't there to see you grow up."
"Professor..."
"It's been a strange few months. I suppose that's the life of a Lord. I didn't choose this, but it's what I got at the end of it all, and it's what I deserve."
"That's not true. You are-"
"I decided I'm not going to the War for the Holy Grail."
Gray gasped as she heard her teacher say that. Waver Velvet's greatest wish was to bring back his friend from the War, Iskandar. He had wanted to go to the War to fulfill his wish, but now....
"But Professor, you brought me here to accompany you in that war. If you are determined not to go, then I no longer have a purpose in this place."
"Ha...", Waver smiled, "Find another purpose. That's what life is all about", he put his hand on Gray's head. "I took you out of that town because I was going to use you as a tool for war, but what do you want, lady? I'm sure you've already thought of that so I don't need to answer that question."
After that, Waver left the room, causing a stony silence that was interrupted by Sakura's voice.
"Father..."
If Waver had heard that, it would have surely made him want to cry. Gray stared at Sakura and thought about what she had already thought about her own life.
A normal girl...
Her purpose was already being fulfilled thanks to Toru and the people around her. She allowed herself to love and be loved. Gray allowed herself to live.
***
Inside Waver's office, Toru waited seated on the sofa with a glass of wine. When the door opened showing the professor, Toru looked at him and raised the glass.
"You've been doing a lot of things lately, haven't you?", the man asked.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking, actually. I haven't done anything significant. Nor has it been long enough to do anything bigger than just stand by Gray's side."
"And yet your subtle input has changed a lot of things. It's amazing", Waver said, sitting down in front of Toru. He took a glass from the table, which Toru took care to fill with wine.
"The smallest changes can generate many storms..."
"And the coming storm will be the most dangerous. The War for the Holy Grail is about to begin."
"I know. Sakura-sama will wake up before long, I can feel it. As soon as she wakes up, we will go to Fuyuki. I'm sure you don't like the idea."
Waver lit a cigarette leaving the wine glass on the table.
"Even if I don't like the idea, I can't do much to avoid it either. I know that when Sakura wakes up, the first moment I get careless, she'll go running to Fuyuki. It's not something I can avoid."
"You're being too reasonable, are you sure you'll really let your daughter go to certain death?"
"If you're there I'll feel more at ease. You're a monster, practically. You'll probably be the strongest servant in the war."
"Of that I am not sure. There are servants comparable to gods. What if someone summons Dionysus or Achilles? If something like that happens I'll be screwed. The first and only time I faced a god I ended up dying."
"Gods... I hadn't thought of it that way", but Gilgamesh and Arthur Pendragon were also in the equation, so it was likely that someone would summon similar monsters.
"The probability is partially unpredictable. We don't know what will happen, but in the event that something bad happens, I will force myself to use my most powerful eyes."
"Those purple eyes we saw on Iselma."
"It's also supposed to be the power of a god. So, in exchange for going blind, I might as well give it a try. There's also the Shigan, all my ninja arts and my senjutsu, though the latter I haven't been able to use for some strange reason. The limitations the Grail imposed on me are too strong. The only thing I can manage to force is the Rinnegan, but at a high price. In any case, it's still an unpredictable gamble."
Waver nodded. While the probability is the same for everyone, he also understood that Assassin had a lot of advantage by having the Mystic Eyes of Death Perception.
"Uh, right. I have something for you. Let me get it."
Waver walked over to the briefcase on his desk. Opening it, he pulled out a skull mask.
"Wear it when you get to Fuyuki. It will help you hide your identity better. Even if you don't have a history in the past, there will be people who might recognize you. It's better to be safe than sorry."
Taking the mask, Toru raised an eyebrow curiously. "This is... magic?"
Waver nodded. "It will change your voice, hide your personality, and you can store mana in it. It's the least I could do."
"I see. It will come in handy. Thank you."
After that, Waver fell silent. What Toru said at the end took him by surprise.
"You're different too. How much did you change when I wasn't watching?"
"Enough to fight for my Master. Like I said before, I've been thinking a lot. Every time I think I change a little or become more miserable, or start thinking of something that can change my misery."
"... Got it. Young people are able to grow up pretty fast."
This man recalled a time of himself that he guards with fear and sadness. He entered the War for the Holy Grail as just a boy, but came out a man. Experiences change people, he agreed.
Children grow up when you don't realize it. Being aware of it, you remember the past as something distant. Waver Velvet had become a wise man, but also arrogant and fearful. He has lived enough of this magical world to understand certain things.
"Good luck, Asahi Toru... Win that war and return to Sakura safely."
With an expressionless face, Toru stood up. "I won't make any promises. Every time I promise something the opposite always happens. So this time, I'll leave everything to chance."
"It seems like the right thing to do. When you're ready, when you're both ready, I'll help them in any way I can."
Toru nodded. He drank the whole glass of wine and, about to leave the room, without looking back, said, "Surely you were a brave young man who survived that war. If I knew you in the past, I surely thought you would be someone dangerous," as he said that, he walked out of the office.
Waver laughed and whispered. "You have no idea."
To be continued...