The night music blasted into the ears of everyone who entered the bar. From left to right, people of all statuses danced to the heavy beat, drinks held high, shouting words into each other's ears that were lost to the rhythm.
Alone inside a private room, Asnee felt the music ringing in his skull. The louder the beat grew, the more the pressure intensified behind his eyes, causing a dull ache to bloom into a full-blown migraine. Yet he continued to drink, the expensive bottle of wine already half-empty.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small bottle of medicine. He tapped two tablets into his palm and tossed them into his mouth, chasing them with a long swallow of wine. He knew the danger of mixing the two, but at this point in his life, there was nothing he didn't dare to do.
For a brief, flickering moment, he felt a twisted sense of satisfaction. The more he did things others would disapprove of, the more his headache seemed to ease, replaced by a cold, numb defiance. He sighed, opening his eyes to the neon blur of the club, and drained his glass in one breath.
He had been sitting there for two hours, and with every drop of alcohol, his heart felt more unstable—heavy and erratic. Just as he reached to pour a second glass, a firm hand clamped down on his wrist, stopping him. It was Decha.
Decha sighed, his patience thinning. "Ai Nee, that's enough. You're drunk."
Asnee smirked, his eyes glazed and dark. "Frank... did you know that bastard Chai is dating a rich man? How rich does he need to be? Is money really that important to him?"
"You tell me because Ai Chai didn't tell me," Decha said flatly.
"You've seen that Hinata guy before," Asnee slurred, leaning in. "Is he more handsome than me?"
Decha scoffed. "No. He's just a normal-looking guy. I'm not even sure if he's actually rich."
"Oh, he's rich," Asnee laughed, a harsh, jagged sound. "May told me he took Chai to his villa by the sea. Security is tight. If he's not rich, then he's a professional liar." His face suddenly twisted into a mask of pure malice. "He's a whore, Frank. Selling himself for a taste of luxury. For money, he crawled into someone else's bed."
"Santichai's boyfriend admitted they were dating to my face," Decha reminded him.
Asnee raised his heavy head, tears welling in his eyes. "Chai left me. We were in my hotel room together last night... I thought I had him back. But I woke up and he was gone. He went back to him."
"Let him go, Asnee," Decha said. "Since you can't give him, what others can, just let him go. You know very well that even if he came back, you could never give him true happiness. You both know it. That's why you broke up in the first place. If you keep chasing him, you're just dragging him back into the same hole."
"I did everything for him!" Asnee roared, sweeping a glass off the table. It shattered against the floor. "I created a path for us! I did things against my will just to keep us together! Why couldn't he see that? It's because the other guy has a bigger wallet!"
"We've been friends for years," Decha said, his voice rising in disbelief. "You know Chai isn't that kind of person."
"I don't see any other explanation!"
Decha let out a cold, sharp laugh. Asnee hadn't changed. He still had the mind of a spoiled child who believed he could wrong everyone else, but the world owed him perfect loyalty. "To be honest, ai hia Nee... if I were Chai, I'd leave you too."
Asnee's eyes widened with fury. "Why? You're my friend! Why aren't you on my side?"
"I'm your friend, and I'm his friend," Decha snapped. "Do you think being stuck in the middle is fun?"
"You're not my friend!" Asnee shrieked. "You're his! I know you two talk behind my back! I know!"
"It's your attitude that drove him away," Decha said, taking a deep breath to steady his shaking hands. "If you want to blame someone, go find a mirror."
Asnee shoved Decha back. "Scram! You're not my friend anymore! Go tell him I'll crush him. Whoever he likes, I'll destroy them right in front of his eyes. He is mine!"
Decha grabbed Asnee by the shoulders and slammed him back onto the sofa. "You're too drunk to drive. Sit down."
"We're done, Decha! Get the fuck out! Everybody gets the fuck out!"
Decha sneered. He walked to the wall, picked up the controller, and silenced the music. The room became deathly quiet, save for the sound of Asnee's ragged breathing. Asnee threw an empty bottle at him, but it missed, smashing against the wall.
"Ai Hia Nee, you cheap dog," Decha hissed, his voice trembling with years of suppressed rage. "Don't you dare blame Chai for leaving. You are the one who left him. You say you love him? Then where were you when he lay in that hospital bed with a broken back? Where were you?"
Asnee shook his head, "Stop..."
"You were out with your 'real' friends!" Decha shouted, looming over him. "You said you supported him, but Chai was the one who dropped out of school to work three jobs so you could finish your degree! Why wasn't it you? Why did you date another woman while he was working himself to death? Why did you bring her back to the bed you shared with him?"
"Stop it..." Asnee sobbed. "I did not do such thing! Only him! Who bring back a man to sleep with him!"
"You promised to marry him by the sea, then you went home to get engaged to a girl your parents picked! You were so proud, you even sent him a picture of the ring just to twist the knife!"
Decha's fist flew out, striking Asnee hard in the jaw. Asnee tumbled onto the sofa cushions, stunned.
"You didn't fight for him," Decha spat, tears of anger in his own eyes. "Chai was the only one fighting. His back never healed because you wanted steak... he stood over a sink washing dishes all night just so he could afford to buy you a piece of meat. Do you have any idea how much pain he was in? No. Because it was Chai, not you! And when he was in that operating room fighting for his life, you were tucked away in your luxury apartment!"
Asnee's lips trembled, his face a mess of tears and blood. "Stop... please..."
Decha walked to the door and pulled it open. He turned back one last time, his gaze cold. "I asked him once... why he traded his life and his tears for a bastard like you. Do you know what he said? He said it was because in his dark world, you were his only light."
Decha's voice broke. "Asnee Siriporn... do you really find it fun to play with the life of the only person who saw you as a lifeline?"
He walked out, slamming the door behind him.
Asnee watched the door slam, the sound echoing in the small, private room. He was alone again, surrounded by the cold sparkle of the ceiling lights and the muffled, rhythmic thumping of the music from the club outside. He leaned his head back against the sofa, his lip still throbbing from Decha's punch, and let the words he had just heard sink into his skin like venom.
He admitted to himself, in the silence of the dark, that he had left Santichai to face many difficulties alone. He knew he hadn't been there for the hospital stays or the long nights of labor. But a bitter resentment began to boil over his guilt. How come no one sees my difficulties? he wondered. Why does everyone see him as the martyr and me as the monster?
The truth of how he looked in the eyes of others—a "bastard," a "cheap dog"—began to erode his will. The "road" he claimed to be paving for their future felt like it was crumbling beneath him. But instead of turning toward repentance, his insane mind twisted the pain back toward the person he blamed for all of it.
His migraine intensified, a sharp, pulsing rhythm that matched the anger boiling in his thoughts. He stared into the darkness, his eyes wild and glazed with alcohol and medicine.
"What about you, Chai?" he murmured, his voice a jagged whisper. "Do you really find it fun to play with the feelings of the person who has loved you since the very first day he saw you?"