While waiting for KK to finish with Dr. Lin, Santichai sat by the window, watching the hospital lobby pulse with life. People moved like bees harvesting morning nectar, a blur of purposeful motion. The low hum of a hundred conversations echoed through the hall, but to Santichai, the sounds were muffled, as if he were underwater.
He couldn't understand why his mind was doing this to him. Lately, every act of kindness from KK felt like a trigger, pulling the ghost of Asnee back to the surface. It was as if Asnee had finally consumed him entirely. He wondered if his stubborn heart was finally learning to let go by comparing the two men, or if Asnee simply still held the remote control to his emotions.
The modern glass and bright lights of the current hospital began to fade, replaced by the memory of a much grimmer day.
He remembered a sunny afternoon years ago. It was his one-week follow-up appointment after the initial surgery that had left him broken. It was the first—and only—time Asnee had actually accompanied him to the hospital. Santichai had felt a flicker of hope that day, a belief that things might change. But instead, that was the day he realized his love for Asnee was a secret that would have to be kept in the dark forever.
In the memory, Santichai and Asnee were sitting in a cramped, aging lobby. They were talking quietly when a voice cut through their conversation. A college classmate of Asnee's had spotted them and was walking over with a wide, curious smile.
Santichai remembered how Asnee's body had instantly stiffened. The warmth Asnee had shown just moments before vanished, replaced by a cold, professional mask. As the classmate approached, Santichai felt himself being pushed back—not physically, but emotionally—into the role of a "nobody."
The memory in the old hospital lobby sharpened, cutting through the present day.
"Don't let your boyfriend go alone," Mina had teased, her laughter ringing out.
The words should have been a compliment, a recognition of their bond. Instead, they were the catalyst for a betrayal.
"Don't get us wrong," Asnee had chuckled, the sound cold and dismissive. "He and I are just friends."
Santichai had stood there, his body leaning on a cane, his spine still screaming from the recent surgery, and felt himself become invisible. "No... we're not," Asnee had insisted to Mina, as if the very idea of being Santichai's partner was a stain on his reputation. He hadn't even looked Santichai in the eye when he told him to "go first."
Santichai remembered walking away, the laughter of the two "friends" echoing behind him like a taunt. But the true blow came later. After the scan, in a lobby that suddenly felt far too large, Asnee was simply gone.
"Take the bus home," Asnee had said over the phone, his voice distracted. "I'm taking Mina and her mother home."
The dizziness from the painkillers had made the world tilt. "You left me here and sent others home?" Santichai had whispered, his heart breaking in real-time. "Asnee, why do you always do this to me?"
"I'll talk to you later." Click.
The nausea had hit then—a violent combination of heavy medication and pure grief. Santichai had barely made it to a bathroom stall before his body revolted.
He remembered the cool porcelain, the sour taste of bile, and the terrifying feeling of being completely alone in his sickness. But then, a soft knock.
"Khun, are you okay inside? Need help?"
It was a voice he didn't recognize, but it was the first time that day someone had asked if he was okay. When he finally emerged, pale and trembling, he didn't have the strength to look the stranger in the eye. He only saw a glimpse of a sophisticated man—and a beautiful, expensive watch on a wrist that placed a single piece of chewing gum on the counter.
"Here, this will help."
By the time Santichai looked up, the man was gone. He picked up the gum, the small gift feeling like a lifeline. "Thank you..." he had whispered to the empty room.
As the old memories slowly faded and the hospital lobby finally came back into focus, Santichai realized that some memories can reopen a healed scar. It was like a dormant disease suddenly spreading through the internal organs without warning—a volcanic eruption from within. It was this 'disease' that had driven Santichai to stay away from Asnee, yet after more than half a year, why was Asnee suddenly standing before him? The wounds Asnee had inflicted began to tear open, and one by one, those old scars started to bleed once more.
Santichai let out a long, shaky sigh. Through the glass of the hospital window, the world felt distant until he saw KK stride into the main hall. He watched as KK stopped in front of a young boy and his mother.
"Hey, kid," KK said with a warm smile. "What's the matter?"
The boy looked up, clutching his stomach. "Pi, my stomach feels bad."
KK looked at the mother, his expression professional yet kind. "Is it okay if I speak with him? I'm a doctor as well." After she nodded, KK knelt to the boy's level. "Do you think you're going to be sick? Like you might vomit?"
"Yes," the boy whispered.
KK reached into his coat pocket and produced a single piece of chewing gum. "Chew this," he said gently. "It will help settle your stomach."
As the boy took it, his curiosity took over. "Pi, are you sick too?"
KK chuckled and pointed toward the window. "No, but my boyfriend over there is. I'm just here to take care of him."
The boy's brow furrowed. "But... he's a man."
"Whether it's a man or a woman," KK replied softly, "they can be your lover. Love is about the person." He glanced up at the mother, offering a brief apology. "Forgive me, it isn't my place to teach your child."
The mother smiled back, her eyes sincere. "I don't mind at all. The world is changing. It's much better to teach children to accept others than to teach them to hate someone's personal life."
"Thank you," KK said. He walked back to Santichai, his gait relaxed. "Sorry that took so long. Shall we go find something to eat?"
"Why were you pointing at me just now?" Santichai asked as they began to walk toward the exit.
"That nong asked if I was the one who was sick. I told him I was just accompanying my boyfriend to his appointment."
Santichai stopped dead in his tracks. The bustling hospital lobby seemed to freeze around him. "Why would you say that?"
KK turned, the sunlight from the glass doors catching the sharp lines of his face. "Because you are my boyfriend."
"KK, you've said it three times today," Santichai whispered, his voice thick with disbelief. "You've admitted it to three different people."
"You look so surprised," KK noted, a hint of a smile playing on his lips.
"Next time... just tell them we're friends," Santichai pleaded, his eyes darting around. "I was once told that a relationship like this needs to be kept under lock and key. It belongs in a closet at home."
The smile vanished from KK's face. He stepped closer, forcing Santichai to look at him. "Are you ashamed of dating me?"
"I'm not! I just... I don't want people to speak ill of you."
"Santichai, look at me," KK said firmly. "I am not your ex. I am not embarrassed by my life. If my friends treat me differently because I'm bisexual, I'll thank them for showing their true colors and cut ties. I only keep people who accept me for who I am."
"But I'm a nobody," Santichai argued, his heart aching. "I have no status. Their words will—"
He was cut off as KK pulled him into a sudden, firm embrace. Before Santichai could protest, KK leaned down and kissed him—right there, in the middle of the hospital parking lot.
Santichai gasped, hurriedly pushing him away, his face turning a deep shade of crimson. "What are you doing?!"
"I'm telling you," KK said, his eyes burning with resolve, "that the bad words of others will never alienate me from you."
Flustered and heart-sore, Santichai rushed toward the car to hide his blushing face. "Don't ever do that again," he grumbled, though his chest felt lighter. "Come on, I'm hungry."
As they pulled out of the lot, the silence of the car was broken by Santichai's lingering anxiety. "KK, about Doctor Lin..."
"What about her?"
"She kept staring at me during the exam. And she asked such weird, personal questions. It felt like... like when people try to hook me up with their daughters. I used to get those questions all the time at my old job."
KK burst into a fit of laughter. "You think so too?"
"It isn't funny! I feel uncomfortable. Can I change doctors?"
"No," KK said, his tone softening but remaining firm. "She is the best spine surgeon I know. I trust her to do what is best for you."
Santichai watched KK's face as he spoke of her. He saw a certain spark in KK's eyes—a look of deep affection and pride. It triggered a painful memory of Asnee, who used to wear that same weird smile whenever he talked about the women he'd dated.
"Do you trust her that much?" Santichai asked, his voice cracking. "Why?" He braced himself for the blow, certain that KK would say they were "just friends"—the universal code for an ex-lover.
"Because she's my little sister," KK said simply.
Santichai stammered, his mind reeling. "Your... little sister?"
"Yeah," KK smiled, glancing at him. "She's the daughter of my stepfather's late wife. From your expression... did you think we were old lovers?"
Santichai shook his head quickly, feeling foolish. "No..."
His gaze fell to KK's wrist as he steered the car—the glint of the watch, the movement of his hand. "KK... about the chewing gum you gave that boy."
"It eases nausea," KK said. He turned the wheel, his smile turning nostalgic and impossibly tender as he looked at Santichai. "Did you really forget? A few years ago, in a hospital bathroom... I gave a piece to you, too."