*Ding*
[Player has slept on a bed for 8 hours, Stamina has been fully recovered.]
Waking up to the dinging of my morning notification has become the norm for me now, basically like having an alarm clock that you can't stop unless you wake up.
Swiping my hand In the air, dismissing the screen, I groggily sit up, yawn, rub my eyes and sit there for a few minutes, just waiting for my brain to boot up.
' It's already been a year huh... ' I thought, thinking back to the craziest year of my lives.
Not even glancing at my stats, knowing that it'll just give me a headache.
I reposition myself in a seiza position in my crib. Resting my hands on my thighs, I start breathing in a specific pattern. Clearing my mind of all thoughts, entering a state of meditation.
The funny thing about 'Perfect Recall' is that I didn't realize how overpowered it was until I decided to dive deep into my memories. Why? Well, I was bored, there isn't a lot to do as a baby, plus a little headache never hurt anyone. But I digress.
You never really realized the amount of YouTube videos you've watched and forgotten about until it's all pulled back to the front of your mind. And let me tell you, when your as much of a weeb as I am, and for as long as I've been, you watch a lot of informational videos when you still think you can get isekai'd at any moment.
Or maybe just a quick Google search for when you want to confirm something you read in a fanfic somewhere. In any case, we have a lot of random useful and useless information crammed in our noggin.
So it really shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone when I compiled all the info in my head regarding meditation and breathing, to basically create a 'Meditation for dummies' self-made manual.
And by compiling, I mean mapping out my mind and just organizing all meditation-related stuff on the same 'path', so it's easier to find.
I also got a pleasant surprise when I finally finished compiling everything and perform the most basic form of meditation.
*Ding*
[Thought a special action skill: Mind palace has been acquired. ]
*Ding*
[Thought a special action skill: Meditation has been acquired. ]
*Ding*
[Thought a special action skill: Basic Box breathing has been acquired. ]
Suffice to say, my parents got a lot of photos that day. Anyway, this also opened up new a new door of possibilities, namely, diving into my mind, finding useful information, and making more skills.
Considering how much free time a baby has, I spent a lot of time going through memories.
One thing I noticed, is that meditation makes the process of mapping out my mind way easier. It also reduces the strain on my mind.
*Ding*
[Thought a special action skill: Mana Sense has been acquired. ]
"Fuuuuuu~" Exhaling, I open my eyes, reading the notification over and forming a content smile on my face.
' Jesus, that was harder than expected, *Sigh*. How those fanfic MC's manage to do this while still a fetus will always be a mystery to me.' I complained internally, completely disregarding the fact I was barely a year old, and basically spat on the faces of all those self-proclaimed geniuses that took longer.
'Yo, Skills, can you describe it for me?' I asked, treating the system like any other person. With all the interactions I've had with the different system personalities, it'd be hard to treat it any other way... Except for Stats, he's just an a*shole.
*Ding*
[ Skills ]
Mana Sense Lvl: 1
-Mana Sense, Is an active/passive skill that allows the Player to sense ambient Magical energy.
When actively used, it enhances the range of Magical energy the player can detect, and even sense what type of spell is being cast in the Players range to a limited degree.
Current range: 1.5 Meters
Note: Passive and active range increases with each Lvl. Skill may evolve if certain requirements are met.
*Ding*
"Hmnnn....?" After reading the description, I hear a low moan.
To the side of my crib, there's a big queen size bed with two figures sleeping peacefully, well one figure now, as the more feminine silhouette slowly rouse from her sleep.
Seeing this I quickly lay down and fake sleep, so that my mom doesn't see me awake.
Observing my mom through squinted eyes, I check to see if she's going to do what she does every morning. And without much delay, I witness my mom give my dad a morning blowjob.
*Sigh* 'Honestly, can't they go a day without going at it?' I ask myself, thinking back to the excessive amount of times they do 'it' a day, and that's only the times I'm aware of.
But hey, good for them I guess. What isn't good for them is the sick sense of humor Quest has.
[ Quest!! ]
- C*ckblock!! -
Description: Your mom and dad go at it every morning!! It's your job as a baby to annoy them as much as possible! And what's more annoying than getting blue balled?
Rewords: -For every successful block, Player gets +10 exp!
-For every successful five-block combo in a day, Player gets 1 random fact in the world.
Extra requirements: Blueball your father or mother at the peak of euphoria!
Note: Each individually gives 1 fact token
Extra Reward: -1 Random fact in the world that has an impact on the Player.
...
Yeah.....So.. I think Quest is a perverted sadist or something. Anyway, even though the quests are weird, the information is useful... sometimes. Most of the time it gives me, as the name implies, random information. For example -
['1 random fact in the world' has been redeemed!]
- A male student of Wyverna Dretch is currently masturbating to a picture of her in his room.
[ Your welcome Player =)]
*Sigh* ' Why couldn't I get a normal system.' I sighed, barely affected by the retardedly useless information I got, focusing back on the task at hand.
At this point, dad already woke up and they're already in the 69 position, the most optimal for me to block both of them and get 2 points in 1 session. Using my breathing techniques to enhance my concentration, making sure to keep my ears and eyes open for any indications of any of them reaching their climax.
-Exhale for four seconds.
-Hold it for four more seconds.
-Inhale for four seconds.
-Hold it in for four more seconds.
-Exhale and repeat.
*Grunt*
*Moan!!*
(A/N: Nope)
....
...
..
.
"Fuuuuuu-" Seeing the usual signs present themselves, I waste no time and use my ultimate weapon.
"Whaaaa!!! Waaa!!! Aaaaa!!" Crying! Successfully pulling my parent's attention from their previous activity, mom immediately steps of the bed and rushes over to, meanwhile my dad just sighs and mutters a quit 'Again, really?'
' Fufufu!!! Fools! You must have not believed me that I shall have my revenge!! HAHAHA!!'....Just ignore this.
*Ding*
[ Quest Complete!!]
- C*ckblock!! -
Rewords: -For every successful block, Player gets +10 exp!
-2 Random facts in the world that have an impact on the Player.
*Ding*
['2 Random facts in the world that have an impact on the Player.' have been redeemed!]
-1. This world has a law known as 'anime logic' which makes sometimes impossible things possible, but will be completely disregarded by the residents of the world.
Note: Due to this world failing as an anime, the lines between anime logic and cartoon logic are blurred, causing the residents of the world to act irrationally, and downright stupid at times.
-2. The Players penis will start growing when the Player is around 5 years old.
Note: Yes it will be a lot bigger than it is supposed to be at that age, and it will continue to grow.
[ Your welcome Player =)]
...
"My title sapling, are you hungry? Did you have a nightmare? Oh~, you poor thing." Mom said, hugging me close while slowly rubbing my back soothingly.
'Now for the kill shot.' I thought as I prepare myself to finish one of the first quests I've gotten since waking up in this world.
"M-Mo...Momma!" I said, hearing a dinging sound in the background, too preoccupied with the over exited mother squishing in between her bare chest. Maybe I didn't think this through...
"Kyaaaaaaaa~ Zoro!! Did you hear that! Parsley said mama!! Oh. My. Grog!! C'mon baby say it again, say mama one more time." She squealed, saving me from my impending doom, to say mama one more time.
"No, wait!! She already said your name! It's my turn-" My dad exclaimed in protest, only to be stopped mid sentence by a glare from mom.
"Y-You know what? I-I think I better go grab the 'Foto sphere'. hahah.ha..ah...." He continued, slowly walking backward with his tail between his legs, awkwardly laughing the whole way to the closet to get the sphere.
Looking at the retreating figure of my dad as he walks away with slumped shoulders, and what I can only assume is a pouty expression on his face. Deciding the cut the man some slack I said-
"D-Dada!" Stopping him in his stacks, disappearing for a second before reappearing in front of us with a different sphere than usual in his hands, huffing and puffing covered in sweat. Looking at his appearance, he somehow was fully clothed.
" Haaaa...haaaa...haa~ Ca-haaa...Can you say that again sweetheart?" He said in between huffs.
*Beep*
The sphere glowed for a second before making a beeping sound.
"Dada?" I repeated, unsure of what to expect.
" Hazaaa!" Dad yelled out in victory, making a guts pose in the process. Whisking me out of mom's grasp, he hugged me tightly, burying my face in his beard. before mom can complain in protest he picks her up to, forming a comical group hug with dad lifting all of us up.
"Hahahah."
"Fufufu~"
"Heheheeh."
It was quite the heartwarming sight, mom and dad laughing and me unknowingly giggling Familial love, something I've never experienced before in my previous life, with me being an orphan and all. I can't help but think.
'Maybe this world isn't so bad.' I thought, feeling warm and fuzzy inside.
...
..
.
My first steps were taken later in the day, which resulted in another photo and video taking session, much to my chargin.
ThBy the way, the skill I got from the quest was, 'Crying'.
Yeah, that was my reaction to, no joke, all it does is give me the ability to cry on command, something I was already able to do! Hopefully, it gets useful later, considering it said in the 'Note' that it was an evolvable skill. At least it started at Lvl: 6 taking my own experience into account I guess.
I can only assume the skill didn't register at first due to the relative uselessness of the skill.
Moving on, the information gathering is going pretty well. I got the basic just of the world, though it is based on 'High Guardian spice' it isn't exactly the same, just mostly. Like instead of joining the academy at 14, you have to be at least 16 to apply, and even then it's for exceptionally talented people... or people with connections. Other than that, I learned that a 'guardian' is a really broad job, going from monster slaying to exploring, magic research to teaching, etc. So basically an over-glorified adventurer.
Another piece of information that I found interesting, was the fact that for some reason, there are more girls in this world than guys, so it isn't uncommon to find a man with two wives, though most of the time its the wives who have a relationship and the guy is basically a third wheel.
Finishing my monologue about all the useful info I've gotten so far, cursing 'Perfect recall' for making me unable to forget the useless ones.
And so time passed, days turning into weeks, weeks into months, and months into years.
....
...
..
.
(2008 words)