Chapter 1 | The Things that Lost
***
"...for the headlines. Exactly one year since the former president and owner of the Iliff Group of Industries ceased from the business world..."
"...the acting head is still unknown to the public..."
"...the mystery seems doesn't affect the corporation's business moreover it fuels its growth..."
Nuisance. There should be more important news to present, weren't there? It was amusing how every channel reported the same information all at the same time.
I stepped downstairs. There was no need to bid goodbye. In an attempt to open the main door, Mr Rue sensed me from the kitchen.
"Sola, have a meal first before leaving."
He said it with an encouraging tone while displaying a slice of bread and coffee yet, "I'm not hungry Uncle. Eat well."
He seemed disappointed but understanding as ever. "Here, take your lunch. Make sure to eat later."
"Got it. I'm heading out first." I turned my back to him and waved as I went out. I saw his reflection saluting in reply.
Driving. Car. Accident.
It was no one fault, no one wanted it. I knew. It was so easy to understand. It was such a simple thing.
Curses.
All of the vehicles on the road in that second, why was it my father's?
Why is that driver had a headache during such rush hour?
Why Dad died so effortlessly?
He did not even fight to survive for us.
It was unfair.
Stop.
Enough.
I'm grateful my father thought of me having a practical manoeuvre a week before he passed away. I'm glad I got my license three days before that. I'm glad, really.
I pulled over. I couldn't get tired of appreciating this solemn ambience behind the academy. I must be lucky nobody else was coming here.
The gentle wind passing by was soothing. Life in every piece of nature was refreshing the same way. Thankfully, no one was aware of this scenery or paid attention here.
I want to stay with this tranquillity, alone, eternally.
Yet, I couldn't. It was not an option. I should have not thought of it.
There were only fifteen minutes before class. I wore my glasses and tied my long wig hair up. I breathed deeply for the last moment.
Lie low, Sola.
I slid the room door and closed it back. I walked straight to my sit in the corner and settled my bag. When I got comfortable in my personal space, before I can put my earphones on, it appeared Penelope finally noticed me.
"Good morning Sol! I miss you. Don't you miss me too?"
I felt my lips curved up dimly because of her overwhelming enthusiasm. No, it was because of her warm character that any person can be affected. She was simply too bright.
"Sol?"
"No. I didn't miss you."
We spent the school hours together as seatmates yesterday. Only an evening passed. Who would miss someone in that short time?
"You meanie gorgeous! I still love you though!"
Made up your mind first if you're going to insult or compliment me. "Is there something you need to tell me?" Was that important to come to me in a hurry?
"Ah! You see, this morning update floods every network. I feel sorry for the family that the genius businessman left behind. Wait, the thing is he has an only child, a sole daughter whose existence is confidential. There are some rumours that she is a great pianist though. Sir Iliff always attended her performances when she was active they say."
She paused and messed her head a little.
"That's not it. When I saw her leaked picture as a child, it somehow reminded me of you. She looked different from you with blond hair in contrast to your black though. Especially, she looks cheerful compare to your silent demeanour. Yet, can I imagine for a while?"
"Go ahead." Really, how can she change her expressions every second? I'm amazed again. She can be nominated for the Guinness Book of World Records.
She leaned forward to me. I almost had a headache, our eyes only had an inch gap. After a satisfying nod, she backed away and scrutinized me again.
"Right, right, if we remove the glasses, make your hair blond, and smile... Sol! You really resemble her. You look like the mature her."
She expressed a millionaire grin.
"Are you sure you're not the heir of Iliff industries?"
She was being doubtful.
"Maybe you have amnesia and you don't know then they changed your memories. Oh no! What should we do?"
Ah, now she was frustrated.
I flicked her forehead. Thankfully she was not that far. I reached her.
"Child, you have a wild imagination." I was sure I am who I am.
"Don't refer me, child! We're the same age. Hmph." She set on her chair and faced the other direction.
I focused on my things. Now, she was having her tantrums. She couldn't be mad for a long period anyway.
The time passed like any other day. However, ever since that certain date, moments were in slow motion, in black and white. It was hard to breathe, to live in. When would the clock ticks properly again?
"Sol! You can't say no to this occasion. Come with us now. We have a car."
"Sorry. I can't. Enjoy your leisure."
"Tell me why first. You always say no, I'm sorry, I can't, and et cetera, et cetera. I really am starting to wonder just how significant the reason is."
How significant was the matter for me? I smiled wryly. "Take care Pen."
"Ma'am? We're sorry but it's past the visiting hour."
"You're new, aren't you?" The nurse in front of me grew confused. "No one stopped me at the lobby, right? I have special permission." I winked amusingly.
She was restless like she doesn't know what to do.
"You can ask the information assistance to verify."
I suggested ending the conversation. I walked away from her. There, I saw a familiar door with the guards silently standing still.
Standing in front of it, my heart beat faster. I would never get used to being nervous in front of this room. It was one of the emotions I never knew until all of this occurred.
I gripped the doorknob tightly. I exhaled to calm down my nerves, my thoughts. I turned the knob to open the door.
She was beautiful as ever. Sadly, she was still unconscious. Lying peacefully on the hospital bed, she was breathing faintly, slowly.
Mom, please wake up already. It had been a year. Don't you think that was enough sleep?
"Waah! Waa... wah!"
Crying. Mother. Coma.
They said new birth was a gift. With two infants, I guess it doubled the present, the meaning. It should be twice the celebration.
Curses.
Did it had to be this way?
Why did the labour get complicated?
I read a lot of twins given birth and the mother was fine.
We tend Mom with our best.
It was unfair.
Stop.
Enough.
I peeked at the fraternal twins, my siblings, my brother, my sister. It was scary to touch such little beings. They were too fragile and too innocent to be true.
Am I enough for them?
Am I enough to stay by their side?
Am I enough to protect and take care of them?
Am I enough?
Was my best can be enough?
I leaned on the wall feeling weak all of a sudden.
Nausea suddenly washed over me as I slid beside the wall and shifted in a sitting position.
How long could I keep this up?
No, how long should I keep to be strong?
I felt tired.
Can I stop now?
"There will be a day that you need to be responsible.
And it will not be easy when you need to be responsible even though it's a given how gifted a child you are.
The pressure will surround you.
When the time comes, remember, you are resilient and you can prevail over it.
That being said, we got your back. We will watch over you. As parents, you have our support, always."
"Mom, back then I listened but did not believe what you said. It is kind of funny that all of it becomes true now. Yet, Dad is not here anymore and you are asleep. How can you watch over me?"
"Mom, this is so hard. All of this, I did not dream of this and definitely not ready for any of this. Mom, please wake up... Help me."