"What does he mean that my pyromania cost him one of his favorite shirts?" Johnny asked after a short pause for thought, mild offense in his voice. He reacted very sensitively to any criticism of his recently acquired love for fire. "And what does he mean he needs a shower because of me? What do I have to do with any of it?!"
"I think it's obvious." Nami did not look away from the place where Mr. Five's corpse rested. "Luffy clearly intends to pretend the last five minutes of our lives never happened."
"Yeah, and I wouldn't be surprised if he actually erased every memory of Booger-Man from his mind," Yosaku supported her.
"You think he can do that?" Johnny asked doubtfully while crouching.
"If he can, I definitely won't be surprised."
"Neither will I," Nami agreed with Yosaku.
"Damn it, how did he do that?" Johnny crouched like Luffy, drove his fingers deep into the ground, and tried to repeat the trick. All he achieved was two handfuls of dirt remaining in his hands. "No, seriously, how did he do that?" he asked again after several more failed attempts. "With Haki? Or is there some other trick?"
"However he did it, I can tell you with certainty that grabbing the ground alone is insufficient," Yosaku said, assuming the role of Captain Obvious. "And Zoro was absolutely right!" He turned toward Nami. "You clearly lost your mind when you openly provoked Luffy like that! God alone knows what he might do in response. Just because he can't hit or kill you does not mean you are completely safe."
Nami frowned slightly and did not hurry to dismiss the warning this time. There could be no question of any genuine threat—Yosaku was not wrong about that—but he was equally correct that Luffy could do absolutely anything.
The boy's revenge could take the most incredible forms.
But that, too, was exciting in its own way.
Torn by contradictory desires and thoughts, the girl sank into deep contemplation.
"Looks like Zoro took one hell of a hit." Abandoning his pointless game with the earth, Johnny began unsuccessfully shaking the unconscious swordsman. "How hard do you have to hit him to knock him out that completely?"
Usopp found a small wooden crate nearby and placed Igaram's head atop it. Mr. Eight diligently kept his mouth shut, trying not to attract any attention. Usopp first dragged the crate closer to the broken sofa. The sofa was damaged, but not so badly that no one could sit on it.
With Yosaku's help, he dragged over a second sofa and positioned it opposite the first. All the Straw Hats relaxed. Using the crate with Igaram's head as a table, everyone began treating their nerves with fresh portions of alcohol.
The clinking bottles immediately woke Zoro.
"What happened?" the man asked first after tearing himself away from one of the bottles.
"That's what we should be asking you," Johnny replied. "Why did you climb aboard another ship again?"
"I thought that if I sailed around the island in a circle, I'd definitely find our ship."
As the saying went, the road to Hell was paved with good intentions. His intentions were not especially good, but the idea itself was perfectly reasonable.
The execution failed.
As always.
"You're lucky Luffy didn't kill you completely this time." Johnny sighed. "You should have seen his face when he ran after you."
"So he's the one who hit me like this?" Zoro asked while feeling the enormous lump on his head.
"Be grateful I didn't kill you!" Speak of the devil." Another acid-colored T-shirt and shorts. Sunglasses on his nose despite the night, though the gradually dying fire illuminated it. A hat on his head and a gold-plated crown atop the hat. "Cool, right?" Luffy pointed toward his head. "I still can't believe such an awesome idea never occurred to me! Now everyone will definitely know immediately that I'm the true Pirate King!"
Yosaku was profoundly skeptical.
"I seriously doubt it."
"Anyone who thinks otherwise can simply die!" Luffy added.
"Now that changes everything."
"You'll get tired of killing everyone," Nami disagreed.
"No problem. I don't mind!"
Had Johnny, Yosaku, and Nami witnessed Mr. Five's murder a year and a half earlier, the men would have spent an entire week tiptoeing around Luffy and flinching at every movement he made. Nami would have fled without looking back.
Now?
For Johnny and Yosaku, the dead Baroque Works agent had already become merely another corpse on their long road. Nami felt only mild displeasure at the excessive brutality of the act.
She was a girl, after all.
Of the Straw Hats present, only Usopp continued feeling uncomfortable, involuntarily glancing from time to time toward the loosened earth. On the other hand, compared with Igaram and Miss Valentine, who tried not to breathe at all, Usopp was practically a model of calm and composure.
"Oh! Traffy! How are my billions?!"
While everyone happily clinked glass containers, Traffy approached their improvised table with his three faithful assistants—Ikkaku, Shachi, and Clione.
"Your billions are finished."
Compared with the thought that he might lose Vivi, Luffy's terrifying presence instantly faded into the background. Igaram reacted without delay yet again.
"VIVI-SAMA!!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH VIVI-SAMA?!"
"Your Vivi-sama has an extremely rare blood type," Law replied calmly. "Although I am fully capable of performing miracles on an operating table, that does not make me an actual magician. Even ignoring the absence of the necessary transplant organs, I simply do not have enough compatible donor blood for the transfusion. I did everything possible, but all I achieved was giving her a few additional hours of life."
"You mean that out of that entire crowd, not one person is a suitable donor?" Luffy asked doubtfully.
"Only one," Law replied with an unreadable expression.
"Then put him under the knife!"
"Are you certain?" An unpleasant smile appeared on the Surgeon of Death's lips. "After all, it is your personal cook, and I have already taken more than a liter of blood from him. Without that, the girl would not have lasted even half an hour."
The answer left Luffy somewhat taken aback.
"Hmm…"
Then, to everyone else's immense horror, the boy sank into deep thought.
"Luffy!!!" The edge of Nami's palm smacked solidly into his forehead. "Don't even consider trading our Sanji for a few miserable billions! Where else will I find such a faithful slave whom you would dare accept into our family?!"
Johnny and Yosaku, who had been nodding in agreement with the girl's words, protested immediately.
"That isn't the problem, Nami!" they declared in chorus.
"Think about what you're saying!" Johnny added.
"Exactly! This is our Sanji!" Yosaku inserted.
Now Usopp began nodding in time with the men's words, but just as with Nami, problems with logic appeared without delay.
"Where are we supposed to find another cook like him?!" Johnny continued protesting.
"And how many of those billions would we need to spend properly training his replacement?!" Yosaku contributed his "rational" point.
"Sanji has already learned all my favorite types of alcohol and the appetizers that go with them," Zoro added. "I don't want to begin again from the start."
For the countless time, every Straw Hat proved that serious problems with the head, logic, and motivation were not limited to their captain.
Only Usopp, upon seeing the looks everyone else gave their family, felt a sharp sense of injustice. Why had they looked at him the same way as everyone else? He had been thinking something entirely different! He had honestly wanted to say that Sanji could not be put under the knife not because he was their cook, but because Sanji was a member of their family.
So why had Usopp been lumped together with all the rest? Unfair! He was normal!
And in that respect, the man was not entirely wrong.
The problem was that Nami still firmly believed herself normal as well.
"Fine, to hell with it. Sanji can live," Luffy finally delivered his verdict. "But are you certain you checked everyone?"
"Your entire family and all the surviving hunters." Law nodded. "Besides, for the princess to recover completely, the organ donor must be a woman. Otherwise she can forget ever having children."
"Did you check that one?" Luffy pointed a thumb toward Miss Valentine, who had tried to make herself invisible nearby.
"Ikkaku?" Law asked.
"No. We didn't test her." The woman shook her head.
"Then test her!" Luffy brightened immediately.
No one else shared his enthusiasm. How many people had they already checked? And only one match. The chance of another match was minimal.
"D-d-don't come near me!!!" The terrified woman jumped to her feet and attempted to flee.
How else was she supposed to react after all the discussion of donors and organ transplants?
The problem was that escaping such company lay beyond her power. After only two steps, Miss Valentine collapsed unconscious as a result of a localized burst of Conqueror's Haki. Luffy had no intention of letting one of the last two chances to obtain his billions slip through his fingers.
"I don't even know what to call this."
Analyzing Miss Valentine's blood required little time, and the result was one hundred percent positive. The blond woman was a perfect donor for Vivi.
That was precisely why Ikkaku did not know how to describe the coincidence. For one woman, it represented an excellent chance at life. For the other, a death sentence.
"Transvestite, did you hear that?" Luffy asked Igaram. "Your princess has a decent chance of living, so I think the time has come to discuss every detail of our deal. Agreed?"
"I agree to anything! Just save Vivi-sama!" came the immediate answer.
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