At that moment, Igaram was prepared to make a deal with anyone—even the Devil himself.
"No, no. Let's clarify something immediately." Luffy wagged a finger from side to side. "We save the princess, destroy Baroque Works down to its foundations, including the Big Boss, and then deliver your beloved princess directly into her father's hands. Agreed?"
"Yes!"
"In return, I want ten billion berries and complete carte blanche for any trade operations inside Alabasta."
"What?!"
"Did you think you'd wandered into a fairy tale?"
"I… I don't have the authority to make such promises."
"Is that so?" Luffy raised an eyebrow. "Are you telling me your princess is completely useless to us?"
"No! If you deliver her home safe and sound, Cobra-sama will reward you!"
"Will he pay us ten billion and allow unrestricted trade?"
"I… I…"
Igaram could have lied, but he did not. Or perhaps he did not dare. After everything that had happened, a legendary Shichibukai frightened him considerably less than his newly acquired 'rescuers.'
"I propose a deal." After allowing his victim to marinate for a little while, Luffy extended a helping hand. "We save the princess, but only under your personal guarantee."
"I don't entirely understand…"
"I'm saying that you will personally ensure the king fulfills our agreement," Luffy explained without allowing Igaram to finish his question. "I'm not an idiot, so I understand perfectly well that demanding a large sum immediately from a ruler whose country is experiencing civil war would be unreasonable. However, we will be the ones who end that war. Afterward, the king will have several years to repay us properly for our assistance.
"Of course, once we fulfill our part of the deal and your country gets back on its feet, the king might decide to refuse. But then I can guarantee that I will be deeply offended. Would you like to imagine the consequences of my offense yourself, or should I explain them in detail?"
"…There's no need."
"Then what do you say? Are you prepared to make the deal? I should remind you that the clock is ticking, and no one knows how much time your princess has left."
"I agree!"
"For some reason, I thought you would." Luffy smiled in satisfaction.
"Stole candy from a child and now he's pleased with himself," Nami muttered unhappily. She did not particularly like the collection of threats the boy had voiced.
At moments like that, the girl involuntarily remembered Arlong. And no, not because of any resemblance to Luffy. It was more about the truth.
Nami had spent half her life considering Arlong a heartless monster. Only after she began following a genuine heartless monster did she understand how badly she had been mistaken. Had Arlong not killed her mother, Nami might even have felt slightly sorry for him.
A small fish imagining itself a bloodthirsty shark.
Even if he truly had been a shark.
"As I already said, I agree to the deal," the gloomy Igaram spoke again. "I will negotiate with the king regarding gradual payments and duty-free trade, although I do not understand why a pirate like you needs such a privilege. However, I want to state immediately that if the trade is illegal or begins harming the people of Alabasta, that part of the deal will be canceled! We will pay ten billion, but you can forget about trade!"
Luffy had no objection to the clarification and answered immediately.
"Agreed!"
The boy understood perfectly when he could and should apply pressure, and when he needed to step back and allow his opponent to feel at least a small victory. That would only make the agreement more reliable.
"Traffy, you heard everything?" Luffy addressed Law, who had watched the entire exchange. "You can begin treatment!"
"You want me to gut this girl?" Law pointed toward Miss Valentine, who still lay unconscious.
"If that bothers you, I can do all the dirty work for you!" A knife appeared instantly in Luffy's hand from no known source.
"Have you never heard the phrase that every surgeon is a potential killer?" Law asked rhetorically. Then he activated his fruit's power and disappeared together with Miss Valentine, Ikkaku, Shachi, and Clione.
They appeared aboard his submarine after exchanging places with small stones prepared in advance, and Law began issuing instructions to his people. Preparing for surgery took little time, since everything necessary was close at hand.
But just as he prepared to make the first incision in Miss Valentine's body, a sudden realization struck him like lightning.
What the fuck was he doing?!
Law finally understood that he had spent several hours obediently carrying out every order Luffy gave him.
The thought of objecting had not even entered his mind.
No, seriously—what the fuck?!
"Captain?" Ikkaku's voice returned Law to reality.
Looking at his crew members, the man suddenly realized another remarkable fact: they, too, obeyed the insane family in everything. Worse, that behavior had already become normal to them.
When had it begun?
How could he have overlooked it?
How had his desire to use the Straw Hats for his own purposes turned into this?
At what moment had he and his people become subordinates?
And once again, how could he possibly have failed to notice?!
"Captain?" Ikkaku asked again. "Are you all right?"
Law understood that this was not the time for such thoughts. For now, he would do what was required of him. Afterward, he would think through everything carefully.
At last, Law understood that they had entered his mind far more deeply than he had believed.
"I'm fine," he replied. "We're beginning the operation."
At that same time, the Straw Hats casually sampled the appetizers Sanji had prepared.
"I never thought our enemies could taste this good!" the delighted Johnny declared, to Igaram's undisguised horror.
God knew, Igaram would have given a great deal never to encounter a gang of 'rescuers' like this. After such an introduction, direct confrontation with a Shichibukai no longer seemed like such a bad idea.
"I agree, but the otter is clearly tastier than the vulture," Yosaku shared his impression.
"That's a matter of preference," Sanji replied while blowing rings of smoke into the sky. "I can assure you I used the maximum of my ability while preparing both, so the quality is identical."
"So I was right. You're clearly worth more than ten billion!" Luffy nodded.
"…What are you talking about?"
"The boys wanted to turn you into an organ donor, but I immediately rushed to your defense and forced them to retreat," Nami shared her 'honest' version of recent events.
Upon hearing this, all the aforementioned 'boys' protested together and then began sharing their own versions of events with equal unity, doing everything possible to blacken the others and exalt themselves.
In the end, anyone could easily understand that everyone was guilty.
Although Usopp had not actually been guilty, who would allow him to remain uninvolved? According to the others, he had insisted more strongly than anyone that Sanji be put under the knife.
"You don't have the guts!" the blond man smirked after hearing every version. "Without my cooking, you'll begin howling at the moon within a week. What am I saying—a week? By the evening of the first day! Maybe even by lunch."
He was not entirely wrong. He had already thoroughly spoiled them with his food.
"What is it?" Yosaku asked Johnny.
The man was examining the wine bottle in his hand with an extremely puzzled expression.
"I didn't expect us to be drinking anything this powerful," he admitted. "Or perhaps something was mixed into these bottles too?"
"What makes you think that?"
"Usually, when I look at a crate, it doesn't look back at me."
"…What?"
"Look here and tell me what you see." Johnny pointed toward the crate they were using as an improvised table.
Yosaku obediently lowered his gaze and studied the crate closely.
The crate studied him just as closely in return.
Yosaku lifted his eyes and, like his friend a minute earlier, began examining the bottle of wine in his hand.
"I suppose I'm not the only one hallucinating?" Johnny nodded knowingly.
"Whaf are you falking abouf?" Usopp asked from beside them, his mouth full.
"Look here!" the men said together, pointing toward the crate with equal unity.
Usopp did as instructed and instantly spat out everything he had not yet chewed and swallowed. Luffy, Nami, and Zoro, seated opposite him, disliked this immensely.
"USOPP!!!"
Soon every Straw Hat stared intently at the crate, which stared back with a pair of perfectly normal eyes.
Normal from an anatomical perspective: lashes, lids, eyeballs, pupils. Everything ordinary human eyes were supposed to possess was present.
Aesthetically, however, the crate's eyes possessed incredible beauty and charm. Light blue, with broad dark green pupils that made them resemble an owl's. Intelligent, beautiful, and captivating.
"This crate is definitely a woman!" Sanji declared. "A male crate couldn't possibly have eyes that beautiful!"
"Look, there's an ear here too," Nami pointed out.
"What the hell is this supposed to be?" Johnny finally could not endure it any longer.
"Obviously, a Devil Fruit user," Luffy replied. "A user capable of growing certain parts of their body on other objects. Eyes and ears, for example, allowing them to spy and listen while remaining completely unnoticed. Or rather, allowing her. We clearly have a woman here."
"Does that mean she can spy inside women's showers too?!" Sanji exclaimed, making no attempt to conceal his savage envy.
"I actually intended to deal with you a little later," Luffy told the pair of beautiful eyes and the cute little ear. "But since you decided to reveal yourself, I'll give you the right to choose."
He raised an index finger to emphasize the importance of his words.
"You can either come to us peacefully on your own or wait until I reach you. I'm in a fairly good mood at the moment, so if you choose the first option and make a full confession, I promise to leave you alive. If you choose the second, you'll have only yourself to blame.
"I enjoy being underestimated only on my own terms. Otherwise, it infuriates me. Now choose. And I advise you to think carefully. There will be no second chance."
The beautiful eyes blinked several times. Then they and the charming ear simultaneously transformed into pink sakura petals and dissolved without a trace directly into the air.
Luffy's gaze became unusually cold.
"…Wrong choice."
— End of Chapter 3 —
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