(MC POV)
They say power comes with responsibility. But when you're absurdly overpowered, responsibility comes with optional subtitles and a skip button.
So naturally, I pressed it.
Because instead of going on a grand quest to save the world, I had a much more important mission in mind—a mission possibly even more fulfilling than dying alone in my Tokyo apartment while microwaving expired yakisoba:
Sabotaging Konoha's education system... for fun.
I wasn't going to hurt anyone. Physically, anyway. But ideologically?
I was about to unleash a curriculum so baffling it could alter the mental development of an entire generation.
System-tan floated into view with an over-the-top teacher's outfit—glasses, pointer stick, and a chalkboard labeled "Satou's School of Shenanigans."
[Master~ This is either the dumbest or most brilliant plan you've had since you tried to teach frogs how to box.]
"The boxing frogs were a noble experiment. But this… this is art."
I deployed three clones: Professor Satou, Assistant Satou, and Janitor Satou (who insisted on carrying a mop that doubled as a chakra staff).
My target? The Ninja Academy.
A hub of young, impressionable minds. Children who would one day become soldiers. Heroes. Cannon fodder. What they needed was guidance—specifically, guidance from someone with absolutely no moral compass but impeccable comedic timing.
Phase One: Operation Substitute Teacher
Step one was to forge credentials.
[New Item Acquired: Konoha Academy Substitute Badge (Forged, but very convincing).]
Step two: Find a real substitute, send them on an unexpected vacation. With a clone. In the Land of Tea. With coupons.
Step three: Walk in like I belonged there.
And it worked.
Because no one questions confidence wrapped in good hair and a clipboard.
I strutted into a classroom full of baby ninja. Kids aged 8 to 10, some already throwing shuriken at each other in the back.
"Good morning, class. I'm your substitute instructor—Satou-sensei. Today's lesson is on Applied Chakra Ridiculousness and Household Combat Theory."
Dozens of blank stares.
A hand went up.
"Sensei… is this part of the syllabus?"
I nodded solemnly. "It is now."
Lesson One: Improvised Chakra Weaponry
I pulled out a frying pan.
"Observe, children."
I channeled chakra into it, superheating the metal until it glowed, then added wind chakra around the edge. The pan began to hum ominously.
I threw it at the training dummy.
BOOM.
The dummy went flying. The wall behind it cracked.
Gasps echoed through the room.
"This," I said, spinning a second pan like a gunslinger, "is the Flying Sauté Technique. Ideal for breakfast battles."
[New Skill Gained: Flying Sauté Technique — D-rank. Upgradable.]
A tiny red-haired boy in the front row raised his hand, eyes wide. "Can I try?!"
I tossed him a ladle.
A kid in the back scribbled furiously in his notebook. "Sensei, I told my mom I need a frying pan for ninja school," he whispered to his friend.
The classroom devolved into glorious chaos.
Lesson Two: Chakra Home Defense
I showed them how to rig tripwires using dental floss and explosive tags.
How to make an illusion seal using a lipstick container.
How to weaponize cleaning supplies into a mobile trap array.
The janitor walked in, took one look at the classroom, and walked back out.
At one point, I had half the class crawling through a homemade obstacle course built from desks, hula hoops, and rubber snakes. The goal? Avoid the ceiling-mounted glitter bombs while navigating to the fake treasure chest.
Only one kid made it through.
I gave him a gold star and a cookie.
[Class Morale: Through the roof. Student Engagement: Weaponized.]
Meanwhile…
Back at the Hokage Tower, Hiruzen Sarutobi was reading a report.
"Sir," an ANBU said. "We've received word that Satou Tanaka may be teaching at the Academy."
The old man rubbed his temples. "I thought he was just a rogue wanderer."
"Apparently he's now a rogue educator."
"...God help those kids."
Back to Class
A girl in the second row raised her hand.
"Satou-sensei, why are we learning this instead of chakra theory?"
I beamed. "Because theory without chaos is just a sad, lonely textbook."
She nodded slowly, clearly unsure if that was profound or insane.
Meanwhile, Writer Clone was in the back, taking notes.
"Chapter 6: The Sexy Sensei Arc Begins," he muttered.
I shot him a look. He gave me a thumbs-up.
Lunch Break
I conjured a clone to run a makeshift food stand outside the classroom, selling bento boxes infused with mild chakra-boosting ingredients.
They had names like "Stealth Sushi," "Genjutsu Gyoza," and "Boom Ball Bento."
They sold out within ten minutes.
[You have earned 1,243 Ryo. Capitalism: Achieved.]
Afternoon Session: Tactical Theater
"Alright kids," I clapped, standing at the front of the room, now wearing a cape. "Time for Tactical Theater. I'm assigning you each a role. You'll be playing ANBU agents tasked with infiltrating the Evil Teahouse of Doom."
Gasps and giggles.
"Your mission: Recover the Secret Recipe Scroll of Unlimited Ramen."
I handed out props. Some got cardboard masks. Others got spatulas as weapons.
We ran the simulation. They planned, role-played, failed spectacularly, and laughed.
By the end, they were cheering.
And me?
I leaned on the chalkboard, watching these kids—who would've normally been drilled in clone technique for six hours—have the time of their lives.
Maybe… just maybe, I was actually helping them.
System-tan popped in, wearing the same magical-girl-tier outfit she first manifested back when I accidentally vaporized Orochimaru's snake summon. She even sparkled a little—probably on purpose.
[Master~ Some of the kids wrote you notes. Want me to display them?]
They floated in my vision.
"Sensei is so cool! I want to be like him!"
"Today was the best day ever."
"He taught us to weaponize soup!"
I wiped away a fake tear.
"I've never been more proud."
Then everything exploded. Literally.
Clone #3 accidentally triggered the leftover glitter-bomb trap.
The ceiling burst into sparkles, firecrackers, and a blinding flash.
Hiruzen burst in with three ANBU.
"What in the name of the Will of Fire—?!"
Everyone froze.
I stepped forward, still in cape and holding a glowing ladle.
"Hello, Hokage-sama. Would you care to observe our practical exam?"
Silence.
Then, a slow clap.
From the old man.
"Carry on."
He turned and left.
System-tan screamed internally.
[Master, you just gaslit the Hokage into approving your war-crime-level curriculum. I love you so much right now.]
"Just another Tuesday."
By the end of the day, the kids were exhausted, thrilled, and slightly sparkly.
I walked out of the Academy with a satisfied smirk.
[Congratulations~ You've completed Side Quest: Sabotage the Education System (Lightly). Rewards incoming…]
New Title: Sensei of Chaos
Skill: Improvised Teaching Technique (Boosts charisma when explaining nonsense)
Reputation (Konoha Children): +100
Reputation (Konoha Teachers): -20
I was shaping the next generation.
And canon?
Canon was crying in the bathroom.
[To be continued…]