ALCANDER
"This is a waste of time." She muttered softly as we watched Angela tentatively walk away from the student parking lot with a watchful Simon firmly fixed at her side. I stood motionless as they made their way past the lone, fumbling security guard who had failed to properly scold them for aimlessly loitering while classes were in session. I was unsettled by their exchange, frustrated that Angela hadn't dismissed his impulsive intrusiveness as she had done in the past though I was also unable to display emotion for fear my Sire would abandon my pursuits for her own. We were standing in an abandoned lot with minor tree coverage, quite possibly the least discrete observation area available although it offered the best vantage point to catch the two of them before their morning classes. The lot was far enough away from the school grounds that we wouldn't be noticed outright but close enough that we had to worry about being spotted by casual pedestrian traffic. While the town was large enough to hide our immortal needs, it was still too small for new faces to easily blend into the background. *We need to leave soon.* I murmured quietly to myself as I slowly turned to face her.
"I swear she's the one--"
"She may very well be the one. That's not your problem." She murmured, finally getting up from her rested position on an old, partially rotted tree trunk. She slowly aired her long dress, allowing the heavy fabric a momentary respite before the layers inevitably gave way and snuggled tight against her slender form. She stared dispassionately at the empty school grounds, seeming to sigh though there was no cloud of heat to escape from her lips. There was no despair in her face, just a simple apathetic grin that made my blood boil. "She won't fall for him."
"I need more time--" I started to say though her scoff silenced my words almost as quickly as if she had slapped me. *I need your help.* "If you would only try--"
"You ridiculous imp. For the last time, she cannot be controlled." Her voice thundered despite her muted dismissal and try as I might, I turn away with an exacerbated grunt in a futile effort to hide my distrust.
"You are so much older than him." I mutter under my breath.
"If only it were *that* simple." She said matter-of-factly, dispassionately releasing another sigh. "Are you sure this is what you want?"
"I want him to suffer." My voice was hushed but it sliced through the winter breeze and ushered an unexpected chuckle from her lips. My anger temporarily got the best of me, and I turned to face her with obvious disgust though finding her close enough to gently brush my cheek with the back of her outstretched hand startled me into a stunned silence. Her soft approach was immediately unnerving, and I could tell she was relishing the discomfort in my eyes.
"There's easier ways to cause him pain, little one." I felt my voice lodge in my throat at the inherent suggestion in her tone, suddenly aware of how much I wanted to please her. For a brief moment, she seemed poised to envelop me and fold me into her arms as she had so many years ago. It was her air of affection that made me lean into her touch despite my reservations regarding her willingness to aid my cause for a bit longer. *I simply cannot do this without you.*
"It took decades to position Xavier--" I started to say but she violently shoved my face to the side as she callously walked past me into the far side of the abandoned lot. I cursed my own ignorance as I inadvertently regained my footing and decidedly allowed the anger to seep into my soul once more.
"You don't have decades." She said with measured tenor, her voice echoing off the surrounding trees and it was clear that her intentions were focused on her own schemes and designs. She deliberately increased the distance between us, seeming to pace as she silently contemplated her next move. Breathlessly she muttered, "So much is already in motion," and I instantly flinched. She isn't the only one here with a short temper.
"Then give me Christopher." My words were sharp, cutting through her short attention span and forcing her to slowly turn her gaze in my direction. *Now, I have your attention.* "If I wound him--"
Just as quickly as the words escaped from my lips, a rush of wind withdrew the air from my lungs as she swiftly closed in and wrapped her long, silky fingers around my neck. Her delicate form betrayed her innate animal instincts and as she easily lifted me clear off the ground, my throat instantly tightened. My arms hung limp by my sides, my breathing growing shallow while she effortlessly crushed my larynx, suffocating me before I could register the need to react. My neck bones struggled to support the weight of my body, small fractures splintering my ears as she gingerly pulled me close to hers. Her eyes sparkled like emeralds, glittering in the sun as she amorously licked the side of my face. Short, desperate gasps drew laughter from her lips, and inevitably she tossed me to the side like a child flippantly discarding a ragdoll that they've outgrown. My body hit the tree stump with enough force to shatter its rotting flesh though that did nothing to stop her chuckling. Slowly, I rolled over to one side, vainly attempting to prop myself up on one elbow to keep her in my line of sight, cautiously reaching with my other hand to caress my injured neck.
"Make no mistake, imp--" She started to say, seeming to love the sight of my hapless body strewn across the decaying kindling. "Christopher is not Xavier, and he is *well* beyond your reach." I'm not sure if it was her biting tone or her eagerness to take a step away from me, but suddenly I panicked. *Don't go.*
"Please--" I tried to cry out, but my voice was so strained that the raw plea seemed lost in the breeze. She was at my side in an instant, crouched down by my face with a small, gentle smile that did nothing to soothe the fearful sense of panic that was brewing within me. I flinched as she reached out to caress my face once more, this time cupping my cheeks in her hands as she leaned in close to hear my labored cries. I didn't dare to stop her hands, quietly resigning myself to whatever lesson she had planned for my impudence. "Please help me."
"I am, little one." She said softly, her tone loving despite gliding her delicate hands to wrap them around the nape of my neck once more. I couldn't fight the physical need to cough but she forcibly held my injured collar in her palms and moved closer still to breathe in my agony with a blissful, childlike joy. "There's a reason he's off limits." She whispered in my ear, ultimately releasing her hold of me while I inadvertently erupted into short, spasmic revulsions while my injuries struggled to heal. She walked back towards the school, and I tried my best to avoid chiding her obvious disregard for our surroundings. She seemed lost in thought suddenly, looking out into the distance with a satisfied, albeit resigned look on her face. After a few minutes she seemed to release the residual tension in her shoulders, muttering "How did I end up here?" under her breath.
"You promised." I managed to say, gargled voice clearly relaying that I was still suffering. She laughed once more, quietly but obviously amused by my impassioned plea.
"Did I?" She asked innocently, her face tilting ever so slightly so that she could watch my expression shift from quiet resignation to something far more desperate.
"Please--" My voice caught in the air when she turned away from me.
*Please don't abandon me.*
"You were with the Assanbies for far too long." She said, eventually turning away from the school to slowly head back towards my side. Her movements were suddenly languid and deliberate; like a predator stalking its prey, circling me before she perched herself to one side. This time she remained standing, staring down at my limp, broken body with mild disdain. She sighed once more, clearly deciding whether she'd keep up her end of the bargain we had struck when she initially offered me immortality. "On your feet, imp."
I did as commanded, trying my best to hide my pain. She stayed close enough to momentarily inspect my injuries, firmly maneuvering her fingers across my battered flesh to ensure that they would heal on their own. I did nothing to halt her actions, relishing this momentary respite from her frustration.
"Very well." She said decisively, taking a step back from me so that I could finally breathe in some semblance of relief. "I'll give your plan more time to unfold, but we're going to take it in a slightly different direction."
ANGELA
"Do you know the answer for question 32?" I asked, vacantly staring at my pre-calculus workbook. I was almost done with the problem set, but I was oddly having issues with the last few differential equations. Alva is much more efficient when it comes to this class; she's got a knack for numbers whereas I need to stare at it for a few hours before I inevitably find the patterns. It used to drive me nuts that I wasn't as quick to pick up new material as some of my other friends, that is till my dad lovingly sat me down for one of his hard-knocks heart-to-hearts. As he put it, there are three kinds of successful people in this world: those that have a natural talent, those who are simply at the right place at the right time and those who work their asses off. I wanted to throw something at him, but once my mother calmly explained that it was better to be good than lucky, I realized he was right and that being a slave to the books wasn't such a bad thing.
"It's the same principle as the one before that." Alva muttered, gingerly looking over her answers as she casually motioned in my direction. She had come over earlier in the day for a pre-calc study session since we have an exam later next week. We begrudgingly decided to go through the homework set for the past section, though it technically hadn't been assigned to us as homework. While it was a lot more work than we had originally planned for, we figured that it couldn't hurt to get more practice in. Besides, I feel like the more time I spend on the problems, the easier it is to find the patterns and right now, I could use all the help I can get. I haven't been concentrating all that well in class lately and I'm afraid that I won't survive the exam if I don't get my act together soon.
"Is it?"
"Ok seriously, you know this shit." Alva muttered, pointing at the three problems prior to this one where I had lain out the math beautifully. She's right, I do know this shit. I just can't seem to focus on the work even though I should. "Though, I mean I can't blame you for being a bit scattered. To be honest, I'm amazed that you made it that far into the problem set."
"I work best under pressure." I said softly and Alva laughed as I struggled to feign a smile.
"No one works well while thinking about drug dealers."
"It's been weeks, dammit. I shouldn't still be feeling so tied up in knots about it." I said while rubbing the back of my neck. Every time I thought about Michael, I got a tension headache, and it wasn't just me who was upset about what happened. The whole mess was driving Vic crazy too; she even said she was now terrified to go through the gymnasium to get to the student parking lot.
"What did the police say when you called?" Alva asked, finally conceding that the evening study session was at an end by closing her workbook.
"They just said that they'd set up patrols in the area and keep a look out for him. It sounded like they had gotten a few calls about him already but that someone kept vouching for him." I said as I nonchalantly stacked my workbooks on the dresser.
"Laurie?"
"They didn't say but it must be her. I mean Laurie first introduced him to me as her 'friend' so he may be using her as a cover." I muttered, my voice laden with defeat. We all knew she was using again, that much was clear after she slammed me against the wall outside Lippman's classroom. We had all seen the signs and had been watching them unfold ever since the incident, albeit much quicker than anticipated. In the immediate aftermath, she started being more aggressive in class, less responsive to her academics in general as well as increasingly skittish and reclusive. What was troublesome now was that the last few weeks she began ditching us at lunch altogether and last week she almost completely stopped coming to school. Most of us had reluctantly given up on tracking her down at her house or getting her to respond to any of our calls. The whole thing made us all sick with worry but there wasn't much we could do at this point.
"Anything for a fix, I guess."
"I just can't believe we're back here again." I admitted, feeling guilty that somehow Laurie was back off the proverbial drug wagon. Granted we didn't know for sure if we had completely lost Laurie to her addiction, but we were all fairly certain that we were beyond the point where we could bring her back on our own. To say our group had been taking this hard would be an understatement though there were mixed emotions about what Laurie was doing. Some of us were disappointed in her, others were just scared, but most all of us were angry. My mother says that this degree of emotional spread is pretty normal in these types of situations but warned that none of us should go out of our way to alienate her even though we also shouldn't feel the need to sugar coat things either. The school counselor was less helpful, resorting to the age-old 'let her come to you' adage that we had heard the last time we had to walk this rocky road. The collective contradictory wisdom we were getting was mind boggling, and inevitably spelled out how helpless we all felt in the face of what was happening to our dear friend. "I guess I'm scared that it's escalating."
"Yeah, but it's so much worse this time around. At least last time she tried to go to class, she was just stoned out of her mind the whole time. And the bitchiness didn't come out till the very end." Alva said as she tentatively leaned back into the soft cushions on top of my bedspread.
"Well, that's when she was getting seriously in over her head with that stuff, now it's just because we all know what she's doing." I confessed, trying to shift my weight so I could comfortably drape my arms over the footboard and rest my weary head. "She won't even talk to us anymore."
"Do you think it's out of embarrassment or anger?" Alva pondered.
"I have no idea. I doubt even she knows why she does half the things she does right now."
"At least Michael isn't hanging out behind the gymnasium anymore." Alva interjected suddenly, likely in a half-hearted attempt to stop talking about Laurie. The whole situation was depressing for all of us, and focusing on Michael was a convenient way to avoid dealing with Laurie's obvious struggles with substance abuse.
"Nope." I said with a mild shrug. "Though that hasn't stopped me from avoiding that route to the parking lot. I swear it's turning into an anxiety disorder at this point. I break out into emotional hives whenever I venture near that part of the school." It's not funny but I found myself chuckling at myself all the same. While Vic and I had found a way to meet up after school so we could walk each other to our cars, we were constantly on the look out to see if Michael was around. At least, that was Vic's major concern. Granted, I was also worried about running into Michael at the school but what scared me more than anything was the thought that one day I'd pull into my driveway and see him there.
"I'll bet." Alva said with a soft giggle, and I was suddenly jealous that her fancy extramural music program required her to be picked up from school every other day. I chuckled in spite of it, momentarily pausing to ponder whether laughter was some kind of instinctual response to discomforting situations. "What about Simon?"
"What about him?" I asked with more force than I had expected to have in that moment. Are we seriously discussing this aspect of my tangled life now? Alva's eyebrows momentarily lifted, matching her wide-eyed expression and I silently scolded myself for overreacting to the mention of Simon. His name had come up from time to time in the weeks since he had talked the security guard out of reporting us to Westrick. Our run-ins had become more consistent these past few weeks, but oddly enough most of our interactions centered on what was happening with Laurie. "Honestly, I'd rather talk about that girl in your music program." My obvious attempt to change the subject brought a coy smile to Alva's face and she briefly glanced away to hide the flush in her cheeks.
"Kim. Her name is Kim." Alva said, clearly amused by my ruse. "And right now, we're just friends."
"So, she's not writing you haiku's anymore?" I asked, knowing the answer before she inevitably rolled her eyes at me. Alva had made a few new friends in her music class this year though recently, Kim appeared to be interested in being more than just friends. At first, Alva was hesitant about the poem's that she was leaving in her violin case after practice for fear that her conservative parents would inadvertently find them and start asking questions that she wasn't ready to answer. Her fears were somewhat justified given her parent's vanilla 'yippy skippy' existence, and she initially approached me a few weeks ago with serious concerns about how to talk to Kim about it.
"She is." Alva admitted though her smile didn't fade, and I lovingly chuckled at my friend and her new budding romantic interest. Kim reportedly understood when she asked her to cool her advances a bit, especially since Alva had never considered the possibility of being attracted to another woman. "We just found a better place to exchange notes."
"Oh, you're exchanging notes now." I said suggestively, sitting up with an equally bemused expression as Alva beamed and buried her face in one of my pillows. Clearly this relationship had progressed beyond simple friendship. "I see."
"Stop it." Alva laughed, gently smacking the pillow while she uttered a muffled plea for me to quit teasing her. I giggled, loving her sudden childish demeanor. "I don't know what this is yet."
"Adorable." I said while she turned her face to glance at me with one eye. I had to admit, it was nice to see Alva smile like that especially considering everything that was going on. I understood why she was hesitant to pursue something amorous with Kim when she first broached the subject, even her absurd request to keep her secret crush from the rest of the Scooby gang. Her parents were the picturesque embodiment of the 1950s suburban middle class family unit, their reaction to this new side of Alva was damn near impossible to predict. Still, I didn't particular like hiding it from everyone else. "So, when do we get to meet her?" Alva veered her head to lovingly glare at me.
"You realize how unfair this conversation is."
"Yeah, I know." I admitted, learning back uncomfortably against the bedpost. A part of me was curious about the girl that had sparked Alva's interest, but that curiosity didn't justify pushing her to define something that she didn't quite know how to describe herself. And really, me asking her to bring Kim to the table was bullshit seeing as I had yet to bring Simon up in conversation of my own accord. "I suppose it's easier for me to admit I like Simon than it is for you to admit that you like her."
"Yes." Alva said defiantly, finally turning her head on the pillow so we could look at each other. "So, why won't you just admit it?"
*Excellent question.*
"I'm a pussy." I said, clearly lying though I did love hearing Alva laugh at the suggestion. Would it be so horrible to acknowledge that butterflies spontaneously grew in the pit of my stomach whenever we crossed paths? Admit that I actively look for him in the hallway by my locker to catch him before I meet up with Vic after school? Honestly, I didn't know why I was so scared to confess I had a crush. Something was keeping me from swooning as Alva had just done, even though I desperately wanted to. "Would you be willing to talk to Lawry about this at least? He'd be way more helpful than I am." Alva rolled her eyes at me while she shrugged and shifted her weight, laying down with her face up, contemplating my suggestion.
"Kim would tell you that pussy is powerful." Alva said, chuckling as she muttered the words.
"Kim is a fucking genius." I said matter-of-factly while Alva laughed outright. *Damn straight, skippy.* I sighed, wishing I had the strength to voice my concerns about Simon even if they did seem unfounded. Clearly nothing Simon and I had discussed about Laurie had ever made its way through the rumor mill and he continuously finds himself by my locker after his afternoon classes, though I suppose it helps that my locker is right outside his A.P. Biology lab. I really do look forward to our brief afterschool meetings even if I had yet to tell anyone about them. There's a connection between us, so why was I still hesitant to talk about him? Ugh, this would be easier if my brain weren't physically drained from what was happening to Laurie. "I still think you should tell Lawry as contrary to popular belief, I am not a lesbian."
"Point taken." Alva added after a brief pause. "Though technically, neither am I." I smiled, amused by the ridiculous labels that plague our high school existence. Suddenly, I was reminded of that day under my willow tree when Simon had been quick to challenge the assumptions people made about me when out of earshot. *I am being unfair.* An aggravated sigh escaped my lips as I straightened myself and reluctantly leaned into my folded knees.
"Simon and I--" I started to say, suddenly unsure of how to finish my statement.
"Have been exchanging notes?" I immediately laughed at Alva's innocent suggestion.
"I sincerely doubt Simon knows how to do a quad fold." I finally chocked out before Alva and I burst into hysterical giggles. The thought of Simon doing something so inane as slipping a note through the thin horizontal grates of my locker was enough to break the tension lines across my forehead. I eased back and sat up more comfortably on the edge of my bed, amusingly embarrassed by the thought that I didn't even feel comfortable writing him a silly note. "Maybe that's my problem."
"What? That he isn't a teenage girl." Alva shot back.
"Oh, no. Simon is definitely a guy." I said, momentarily caught off guard by a flashing image of Simon leaning against my locker with his long hair slightly obscuring his downward gaze. He almost always met my gaze as soon as I neared the long rows of lockers, and I was having a hard time finding reasons not to fall into his piercing blue eyes. I'm the one keeping him at arm's length even though his touch made my knees quiver. I wanted to feel his arms around me, and the thought frightened me. "He seems older than he pretends to be. It's almost like he's trying to be just like us when he really isn't." My confession caught Alva's attention and she frowned ever so slightly as she considered it.
"Ok. I can see that." Alva said, leaning up on one elbow while she continued. "But he did transfer from a private boarding school. There're times even Kim strikes me as more mature than we are."
"Kim's a boarding school brat?" I asked, somewhat surprised albeit intrigued by her admission.
"Yup." Alva's smile returned. "But don't let that dissuade you from wanting to meet her."
"I didn't mean it like that." I muttered, wishing I could throw something at Alva for making me seem prejudicial. *This is ridiculous, just say it.* "I like him, I do."
"But--"
"But I have no idea what I'm doing." I said finally, smiling at the wave of relief that momentarily washed through me. I had to admit, it felt good to talk about him with someone.
"Newsflash genius. No one does." Alva confessed and we descended into childish giggles just as the phone started ringing.
"Shit. Hold on." I said as I moved towards the phone by my bed. My parents were out of the house doing errands and my dad hates it when I let phone calls go to voicemail while I'm home. He feels like I should answer the phone regardless of the fact that I can just as easily hear the message on the machine in the event of an emergency. Leave it to parents to make everything an extreme scenario to force compliance. Why can't it be, please answer the phone because I would prefer to hear messages relayed from you rather than the machine? I could live with that rationale rather than listening to him relive the half a dozen times in his life when he had to learn of an emergency from an electronic device. "Hello?"
"You fucking bitch!" Laurie screamed from the other end of the phone. She was so loud that I had to move the receiver away from my ear momentarily to catch what exactly she was hollering.
"Laurie?" I asked instinctively even though I was sure it was her.
"Who the fuck do you think it is?" Laurie continued to scream into the receiver. She was loud enough that Alva could hear her so she quickly army crawled across the mattress to listen in to the conversation. "Or is there someone else you've managed to fuck over for no apparent reason lately?"
"Laurie, honest to God I don't know what you're talking about." I said into the phone as a concerned look crossed Alva's sullen face. Suddenly, I could hear my mother's advice bellowing in my ear: *you're allowed to be angry with her.* "Look, I haven't heard from you in weeks and you call my house fucking screaming like a raving lunatic."
"Angela, don't yell at her or she'll hang up." Alva said softly. Her voice had been muted but I motioned for her to shut up all the same because I wasn't sure what Laurie would do if she knew that Alva was here listening in. Laurie was obviously on a self-destructive mission; there was no reason to drag Alva into the mix unnecessarily.
"Is that Alva with you? Of course, you two would be together. All you backstabbing bitches must have coordinated this shit." Laurie screeched into the receiver. Well, obviously privacy wasn't an issue now. Reluctantly, I put Laurie on speaker phone so that Alva could be included in the conversation. Alva shook her head uncomfortably as I gave her a shrugged, hunched over-look of despair.
*You got a better idea?*
"We should try and reason with her." Alva whispered to me but her best attempts at discretion fell on deaf ears.
"Speak louder, you fucking nerd. If you're gonna talk shit about me, have the decency to say it to my face." Laurie's shrill voice was unmistakably clear. Alva and I just stared into the phone, utterly unsure what to do next. I guess none of us are safe from Laurie's rampage. Still, I couldn't help the feelings of anger that had been lurking just beneath the surface. "What? Where's your fucking words of wisdom, you dumb bitches. You're useless without a fucking book telling you what to fucking do."
*Fuck walking on eggshells.*
"Yes, obviously she is in a listening mood." I whispered to Alva, who simply stared at me with a blank expression. "Laurie, you're being paranoid. We aren't conspiring against you. And again, I have no idea what you're fucking talking about, which makes this a very confusing conversation."
"She is angry Angela, you can't help her by yelling at her." Alva muttered to me.
"Well, fuck me sideways." I said and she immediately retreated from me, slightly injured from my scolding. God dammit Alva, I can't act like this behavior is alright and I doubt Dr. Drew's psych 101 philosophy of kindness is going to fare any better in this situation. "I'm not exactly happy about this shit."
"Of course you're happy, you got exactly what you wanted. You always get exactly what you want. Everything is always so fucking easy for you. For all of you!" Laurie's words instantly made my blood boil, but Alva immediately put her hand on my knee in a desperate attempt to appeal to my better nature. I helplessly shook in my seat and silently motioned like I was going to throw the phone across the room. I stopped when Alva gently squeezed my knee and mouthed the most gut-wrenching word in the English language, please. Momentarily, I closed my eyes and unconsciously nodded my head as I willed myself to remain calm.
*Breathe. Just, breathe.*
"Laurie." I said, clearly exasperated with the situation though I tried my best to maintain some semblance of control when I addressed her. I took another uneasy breath before I continued, refusing to look at Alva who simply rested her hand and applied mild pressure to keep me steady. "If you could just tell me--"
"He won't fucking deal to me anymore, you self-righteous bitch!" Laurie's voice seemed to slice through the anger coursing within my veins and Alva and I instantly looked at each other in disbelief.
"What?" I whispered though I wasn't entirely sure who I was addressing at that moment. Alva started blinking unnaturally while we both stared blankly into the phone.
*What did Laurie just say?*
"Michael?" Alva muttered with a puzzled look.
"Well who else, you dim witted fuck!" Laurie said quite forcibly albeit her insults fell on deaf ears. Again, Alva and I exchanged confused looks, utterly unsure of what we had just heard. No. There's no way Michael would give up a loyal customer.
"Laurie, what did he--" I asked, my voice suddenly calm and devoid of anger.
"Fuck you!" Laurie shouted, cutting me off mid-plea. "I need this dammit. You don't understand. None of you fucking understand." Alva and I remained deathly still till she suddenly got up on her knees and leaned forward into the phone.
"Laurie, you're sick." Alva muttered, her glassy eyes betraying her measured tone.
"I'm not sick! I'm just fucking tired of all of you fucks telling me how to live my life." Laurie hollered at us, seemingly destitute. How long has she been detoxing?
*When did this all go down?*
"We love you, Laurie. How much longer do you think you can keep this shit up? Michael is dangerous." I said with as steady a tone as I could muster. Laurie was uncharacteristically quiet though we could hear muffled cries on the other end of the phone. Alva winced, but passionately motioned for me to keep going. *Laurie, please listen.* "You can beat this shit. You did it before, you can do it again."
"Michael is mine and I'm not letting you take him away from me."
"I don't understand what you're saying." I said softly though I hadn't meant to say it out loud. Alva leaned back onto her heels, her quivering hands clasped together in her lap while she gently rocked back-and-forth.
"What the fuck did he say to her?" Alva asked me quietly. I shook my head, feeling helpless and lost. I stared out my window for a moment, unsure of what to think, much less say to her. It was like my body was screaming but there was no way to communicate the sound through the tightness gripping my throat.
"I need this, Angela. You're the one fucking killing me." Laurie pleaded while Alva covered her mouth and fought back the tears welling in her eyes. Laurie's words felt like daggers in my heart, and I bowed my head as a tear threatened to fall down my cheek.
"Laurie--" I started to say when she suddenly hung up the phone. "Shit."
*Shit. Shit. Shit.*
"What?" Alva asked, her shaky voice muffled by her hands.
"She hung up." I said, hating the powerlessness that took hold while I hesitantly put the receiver down. *Fan-bloody-tastic.* My nerves were shot, and my muscles had started to twitch as I couldn't quite bring myself to let go of the receiver and I didn't have the energy to remain calm given what we had just heard. "Fuck! What just happened?" Without registering it, I had slammed the phone down on the tabletop, scattering random items to the floor. Alva just exhaled while the echoes stilled, looking around the room as she motioned in the air with short, jittery movements. For a moment, we both remained gravely silent.
"What did he say to her?" Alva was clearly on the verge of crying, frantically rubbing her shoulders and arms as if she was cold. I was still flush with anger, but I turned from the phone and buried my head in my crossed arms, gripping my knees all the same.
"She said she wasn't going to let *me* take him away from her." I said biting my flesh, unable to process Laurie's dazed confession. "Why is Michael withholding from Laurie?"
"None of this makes any sense." Alva said, leaning back in her seat to bury her face in her open palms. "Jesus, Angela. She sounded like she was in so much pain." I desperately hugged my own shoulders hoping it would help stop the chills going down my spine. Alva just shook her head repeatedly as if denial would make this incident go down easier.
"I think it's pretty clear that she's already in withdrawals. Yelling at us was a temporary release." I replied, not really knowing what to do. Alva was right. Laurie was in an extraordinary amount of pain, and what's worse is that she felt alone. I was furious, hurt, scared…all at once. The mixed series of emotions running through me was overwhelming and clearly, Alva felt exactly the same way.
"Temporary." Alva muttered, finally sitting still enough to bring herself to look at me. I moved my face high enough to meet her gaze though I couldn't bring myself to let go of my knees. "And now that it's over, what do you think she'll do?"
"I don't know." I confessed though the truth was I really didn't want to know. I can't bear to think of Laurie like this. *Not again.* I flinched without moving. She swore to me she'd never go back to that dark place so long as there was breath left in her body. She was here. She was at my doorstep, soaking wet, crying her eyes out begging for forgiveness for everything she had said and done. She swore she was finished with all that and for a long while, she had proved herself to be true to her word.
*How the fuck did this happen again?*
We sat in silence for half an eternity, quietly meditating on what we had learned in so short a time. I wanted so much to help Laurie, but I wasn't sure where to start. Part of me naïvely thought that if Michael ever stopped dealing to her that she might be more receptive to our help, but I had obviously been wrong.
*So wrong.*
"Why did Michael stop dealing to her?" I asked, though the question hadn't been posed to anyone in the room. Alva shrugged and then sighed, tension building in her shoulders as she crouched into a fetal position on my bedspread.
"Do you think the cops got to him?"
"Maybe." I said but my reluctance was hardly convincing. Alva scoffed and I didn't really blame her. I was speaking words without meaning, hoping I could convince myself of something other than what had just happened.
"Then again, maybe not." Alva said finally, giving voice to my innermost fears. Michael is still out there and Laurie is all alone. I sniffed and haphazardly wiped my face with the back of my hands. "So, what now?"
*Excellent question. And how I wish I had an answer.*