After the money cleared my bank account, my mother and I moved into her dream house. One night, she woke up, feeling very painful. I took her to the hospital, and she was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. The oncologist told us there was nothing they could do. She still had a choice: later, she could receive surgery, then chemotherapy afterward, but if the surgery was successful, it would only give her one or two more months. My mother told me she didn't want to suffer all that pain. She wanted to die quietly on her soft and warm bed.
She fought for six months before she finally gave up. One morning, I found her sleeping peacefully with a smile on her face. Her funeral was not grand, because we didn't have many family members. That year, I celebrated my birthday alone without my mother. I assured myself that for the rest of my life, I would never celebrate a birthday alone.
Now everyone in town already knew who I was. I had many friends, and I didn't even know who they were. I always had many beautiful women around me. I changed women just like I changed clothes. To my surprise, even though I'd slept with so many women, I still didn't have AIDS or HIV.
The night was still young, the music was very loud, and everyone was there. The atmosphere was hot and humid. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a metaphor for a sex-and-drugs hot-and-humid atmosphere. The weather was actually very hot that night. It was one of the hottest nights recorded in the past hundred years.
There were twenty beautiful women there, and two of the most beautiful were standing next to me. A friend brought some fireworks. Everyone was pulling them left and right.
"Everyone, there are plenty of food and alcohol. Eat and drink while we still can!" I stood on the edge of the swimming pool and pulled a firework into the sky.
"Happy twenty-fifth birthday!" everyone shouted and cheered.
I pulled the woman on my right into my arms and kissed her.
"I'm sleeping with you tonight," I whispered beside her ear.
"Okay," she smiled at me.
I grabbed a firework and looked at her. She smiled and licked her lips. I imagined her tongue hovering on my 'popsicle.' I pulled the string of the firework I was holding, but the flare didn't go out. I threw it to the lady, and she caught it. I picked up another firework, wrapped the string around my finger, and looked at her. She wrapped her right hand around the firework and quickly stroked it. As I watched her stroking it, I could almost feel her hand stroking my 'popsicle.' She tapped twice, then pointed the firework at me, and the stupid flare shot out.
The firework spread faster than the sound of my name. The flare hit me right at my 'popsicle,' and my trunks were engulfed by the flames. When I was panicking, I tried to put out the fire, but because I'd wrapped my fingers around the string, I accidentally pulled the string of the firework I was still holding, and I saw a raging fire rushing directly into my eyes. I heard everyone laughing and applauding. I slipped and fell to the side of the pool, and none of those leeches came to help me.
The fire was getting hotter and hotter, so I decided to roll myself into the swimming pool. The water in the swimming pool put out the fire, but the bleach started to burn my skin, so I had to crawl out. During this painful and agonizing moment, none of these leeches came to help me. I climbed out of the pool and realized that I couldn't see anything.
"Call an ambulance, you whole bunch of useless shits!" I yelled in pain.
They didn't care; they continued to enjoy the party. It was my housekeeper who finally came to save me. He called an ambulance.
I don't remember anything after that. I remember waking up in the middle of the night to a nurse asking how I felt.
"I'm fine," I told her. "Can you see with the light turned off like this?"
"Yes, sir." I could hear the hesitation in her voice when she answered.
"Good morning, Mr. Wu," I heard a woman's voice say.
When I heard "good morning," my heart sank. I quickly tried to sit up, but my groin hurt badly.
"Mr. Wu, I'm Dr. Leung," she said. "Can you see me?"
"No," I replied.
"The flare explosion had completely damaged the surface of your eyes. As of now, I cannot say with certainty whether your vision loss is temporary or permanent," Dr. Leung explained. "I'm sorry."
What the fuck was she being sorry for? She wasn't the one who was blind and burned down below. I would have loved to see her crying and begging for help like I was during my uneventful night.
"Will I be able to see again?" I asked with trembled lips. I believed I didn't cry, but the stupid tears, they... they just happened to flow down these blinded eyes.
"I don't know yet, but we'll have to wait to see how much you can see when your eyes have fully recovered."
"Is there anything else?" I asked.
"The other thing is that there's now a catheter draining your urine. One of the surgeons had to remove more than half of the dead and burnt skin from your genitals."
"What?" I was so shocked that I wanted to die now. Not only was I blind, but I was no longer a man. I knew it must be karma deep down inside my heart. After all, when I broke up with the women I slept with, they would curse at me: "Jackass, I hope your dick falls off someday!" I guess that day had finally arrived. My greatest guilt was how I'd embarrassed Instructor Hang.
"Once you're healed, the surgeon will rebuild your genitals and repair your urethra. You won't need to use a catheter bag anymore," Dr. Leung said.
After three months in my private suite, the doctors had done their best to help me. I was a rich man, and the medical services I received were excellent. Still, my vision wasn't good. After three months of recovery, the doctor who'd taken care of me declared that I was legally blind.
When I opened my eyes, all I saw was gray. Nothing but gray. My vision was blurred; when I looked at someone, all I saw was a wavy, dark figure. Sometimes I could distinguish between a man and a woman by height and hair, but if a woman had short hair, I couldn't tell unless she spoke.
I was devastated at the time, and I decided to end my life. I waited until early morning, then slowly climbed the stairs to the hospital roof. I stood on the edge of the railing, looking down at nothing but blackness.
As my body landed on the cement, I prayed in my heart that I would die immediately. I heard footsteps in high heels approaching from behind. As the sound grew closer, I smelled thick, strong cigarette smoke.
"What are you doing up here, sir?" a woman asked me.
I turned around and saw a nurse holding a lit cigarette in her right hand, and a lighter and a pack of cigarettes in her left. I clearly saw her face and everything around her, sharp and vivid.
"Just getting some fresh air," I replied, too embarrassed to admit I'd been contemplating suicide. I sniffed a couple of times. "What kind of cigarette are you smoking?"
"Red Lion," she said.
"Never heard of it."
"Are you a patient?" she asked me.
"Yes."
"What's your name?" she asked again.
"Wu Jig. What's your name?"
"Fang Yi." She looked at me. "It's a pleasure to meet you. It's been a while since someone spoke to me."
"Nice to meet you, Nurse Fang." Standing there felt awkward, so I decided to let Nurse Fang enjoy her cigarette in peace.
I glanced back twice, and as I closed the door, Nurse Fang was still smoking and watching the full moon. My gaze returned to its usual world of shadows and gray. I grabbed the railing and went down the stairs. When I opened the door and entered the corridor, I ran into another nurse.
"Sir, what are you doing up here?"
"I sleepwalk," I lied.
"Let me take you back to your room." She pulled out her phone and dialed a number. "I found the patient from room 101," she said. "I'm bringing him down right away."
The nurse helped me walk back to my room.
"Nurse, may I ask if there's a nurse named Fang Yi working here?"
"Not that I know of," the nurse said. "Maybe she works a different shift."
"She might be new here?"
"I've been working here for ten years, and I don't know any Fang Yi."
I suddenly felt chilled, and the hair on my back stood on end. I slowly turned around and looked back. There, standing behind us with a bright smile, was Fang Yi.