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Chapter 16 - Discovering myself

I wiggled myself out of his grasp. My stomach was grumbling and I was still very hungry. I sat down completely defeated. My chance to a meal took off when I decided to help my escort. Though I had no idea it was my escort. I just thought that someone bad was nearing us. My first instinct was to protect us. Then I decided to follow the sound just in case someone else needed the help. Oh well. Perhaps the gods will present another chance for me. I sat down and realized I still had a lot of wood left. So I got to work. They both watched me as I started to carve my instruments. I carved myself a few more arrows, one long dagger, a short dagger, two sai, two tiny arrows, a gliding clip, and a box. Once I was done Xerion asked me what the box was for. This box is going to hold a few small things. Things that represent me and everything I stand for. I took everything except the box to Xerion. Once they were enchanted I found different places on my body to stick them. I proceeded to sit back down for a while. We all sat there quietly as I was thinking about. What do I really want to put into the box? What do I stand for? What can really define me? Then it hit me. I finally knew what it was that I wanted to place in my book. I leaned forward to help myself stand. My escort looked at me with a smile and then offered me his hand. Naturally, I jumped at his offer. I men at this moment he is the very reason my heart skips a beat. When he is around I can't help but, smile. As he lifted me up to him, I mistook a step. I ended up falling right into his arms. My face turned red and I could feel my cheeks burning. I'm not sure what got into me but before I could even think. I had leaned into him as if I could fade into him. He leaned over and lightly kissed my forehead. A single tear fell from my eye and I caught it. Then I quickly added it to the box. Then I took a deep breath in and blew it into the box. I started to walk around the area we were in. I was picking things up as I went. A tiny rock for the earth and a pinch of dirt. A leaf, a small tree branch, a single sliver of grass to represent nature. Water from the stream, represent water and rejuvenation. A single drop from Xerions horn represents magic, love, knowledge, and purity. Blood from my finger, the blood of my escort, a piece of flesh from myself, and of animals of land, sea, and air. Those to represent life and the land with all its creatures. My watch for the time, my necklace for family, and ring for unity, fortune, and faithfulness. I tried to imagine catching the sun's rays and placed them into the box. To represent light. I pulled a tiny piece of stick from our fire and placed it into the box. This will represent the fire in me which could be turned into my will or desire. I pulled the box to my chest. It was right above my head as I put my head to it. As if willing my knowledge, and bravery to be channeled into the box. Then I brought it next to my heart and held it there for a very long moment. I imagined my love filling the box. Then I threw a kiss into it. For love is magic and I stood for that above all. Then I walked over to Xerion and stood there with my arms extended out. With a slight bow of my head, he bowed as well. We looked at each other and I could hear his thoughts. He had told me that I needed to pull a piece of his hair out and place it in the box as well. I did not understand why but I did not argue with him either. Once I placed his hair into the box and closed it. His horn touched it and it began to glow. Not like all the others. This time it was very colorful and bright. As Xerion removed his horn from my box, it continued to sparkle. As it sat on my hand sparkling, I watched it slowly melt into my hand. Once the box was completely melted into my hand. My necklace, ring, and watch reappeared on my body. Just where they usually sit. Then a sudden feeling of calmness washed over me. The world stripped away and my body felt different. I can't really explain it but it was such an amazing feeling. I looked around me and I could not see anything at all. So I blinked a few times. When I finally opened my eyes and left them open. I noticed I could smell the most wonderful smells. It smelled of food. Ever so delicious food. I must really be hungry if I'm imagining food. I turned around to find where Xerion and my escort had gone off to. When I turned I saw a bunch of food laid out. It looked amazing, to say the least. It was very similar to the food from the celebration. The celebration was rudely interrupted and ended in disaster. Shivers ran down my spine as images flowed into my mind. Of all the dead people, injured people, and all that was lost. I shook my head and then glanced back over to the food. I wondered if Xerion was the reason we had this wonderful spread. He shifted to human form. Though you could tell that he was in fact a unicorn of sorts. He still had his horn, fur, and very long hair. All of which matched him when he was in unicorn form. So naturally, I thought it was him. I looked over to him and asked how it was that he was able to shift. Then he said it is because his father was not a true unicorn. He is only half unicorn and half shifter. His father fell in love with my mother and then they had me. I have several other brothers and sisters. I am the only pure white and I am the oldest. I am the one in charge of your training. It is my job to guide you and teach you as we go forth. On that note, we all gathered by the food and sat down. As we began eating I asked out loud to no one in particular. Where did all this food come from? How is it just replenishing itself as we eat? Xerion looked over at me and said that it was I that created the food laid out in front of me. I then asked how it was possible and waited for a response. This is when Xerion said that the items placed in my box had magical properties and it merged with my mind, body, and soul. All the items you placed into your box have turned into gifts of talent you now possess. My eyes widened as I asked What exactly does that mean? Does that mean I now can control these elements? Does it mean I'm now a magical person? That basically means I can control air, earth, nature, life, love, and magic right? Then he said technically I could but only to a certain extent. All the different elements you placed into the box represented the many different things in life. Together they are you and you are them. Once you learn to control yourself, you shall be able to control all else. It will take time and patience. A bit excited, curious, and doubtful. I walked over to the river. I decided I wanted to try and work with water first. I mean technically it is probably the safest right. If It worked and I lost control we would get wet but that is about it. Well, I hope that would be it. As I was staring at the water I tried to concentrate on making it respond to me. Nothing happened so I tried to use words. Move, come, bubble, or do something? Anything? Nope, nothing happened. I was standing there for a fairly long time trying to figure this out. Lost in my own head trying out different techniques I learned from reading and watching movies but nothing worked. Frustrated to say the least. I was just about to give up when my eyes landed on the fire. The little campfire we created to keep warm. It had risen and radiated severely hot flames. The night sky grew dark. I was furious and scared all at once. Xerion approached me. Worry was clearly on his face. Then he asked me to please calm myself down before it was too late. I was in a trance and had not realized the danger I created. I was lost in my own mind filled with anger, anguish, pain, hurt, confusion and defeat. When I snapped out of it. I could feel the heat that surrounded us. I took a step back and began to panic. I was trying to calm the fire but it just kept growing and spreading. The harder I tried the worse it got. The worse it got the angrier I became. I was really losing control of the situation. No, I have lost control over the situation long before it even started. I started to really concentrate on trying to control the fire. The more I tried the more questions filled my mind. Which only fueled my anger even more. I was so blinded by my anger that I lost myself in all of it. Why did my family leave me? Why can't I find happiness and peace? Why can't I be loved? Why must I be angry to get my magic to work? Am I evil? Is that why my first ability is fire? The more I thought the worst it got. I just didn't care. If I am to figure this out I need to do it now. While the anger in me is here and radiating through me. The fire grew bigger and brighter. The skies above me got lighter the bigger the fire grew. Soon it became hard to breathe even for me. I began to cough uncontrollably. My escort must have noticed how much I was struggling. He reached out to grab my hand but instantly let go. The mere thought that I repulsed him coursed through my mind. I felt even more enraged. Then he reached for me again. Only this time I looked right at him. He looked terrified and had tears in his eyes. He looked as if he was struggling. I tried to see what was wrong. Fear was now coursing through my body instead of anger. He just pulled me in closer and began to hug me. I could feel the pain he was in but I didn't know what was causing him pain. Then I saw my skin and it was smoking. Like literally had smoke floating off of my skin. That was when I realized. It was my skin, me that was hurting him. The anger just melted away and pain filled my head and heart. As I looked around I could see the pain and destruction I have caused. I pushed him off of me because I did not want to hurt him any more than I already have. I fell to the ground completely stunned and ashamed of the mess I caused. I felt even worse than before I started. Thinking of all the pain I must have created. All the lives I might have destroyed. The trees, the grass even the wildlife. All these things I just caused to burn to the ground. What have I done? How could I be so foolish? Sadness filled me and I felt a cold stiffening feeling wash over me. Like a darkness had consumed myy very soul. Tears filled my eyes as I saw that mostly everything was ash or still on fire. Pain and horror now coursed through my veins. Knowing that the worst part of all of this is that I could not control myself. I caused this. I have no one else I can blame. I could not even protect everything I swore I stood for and was to be protected by me. I am a monster. I heard a slight sound and turned my head towards the sound. It was Xerion and he was looking straight at me. I looked towards him but could not bring myself to look into his eyes. I was so ashamed for what I have done. My body slumped over and then I heard my escort. He took a deep breath and i could see the pain he was in. He just stood there frozen, just barely breathing. More tears filled my eyes and the feeling became unbearable. My escort reached out for me but I pulled away. It is not because I don't want to feel his touch. I pulled away because I don't want to hurt him anymore. The thought that I hurt him crushed me. It was suffocating me. This pain in my heart was eating me alive. I curled in a ball and just cried. I coukd feel the fear coming from him but he reached for me again. This time he did not hesitate at all. He left me absolutely no way to move out of his reach. With a single swoop. I was curled in a ball tightly held in his arms. He kissed my forehead and told me everything was going to be okay. As I laid in his arms I fell to pieces. The tears came and it came hard. As hard as I have evr cried. Then the sky followed in suit. It was begining to rain, no it was actually pouring. The river started to rise. Probably from all the rain. All the fire was put out from the water and the rain. I walked over to Xrion and apologised the best I could. I am so sorry, I never meant to cause so much pain and damage. He looked at me and said look around. This is an enchanted forest. Have you not realized that yet? Everything is as good as new. Though next time you might not be as lucky. You must learn to control yourself. I nodded, put my head down and walked away.

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