Zack was still piloting the room full of people through the interdimensional cosmic void, one hand steering while the other held up a road map.
"Hmm, let's see....no....not there.....Ah! Here we go!" he said before suddenly turning the wheel left, making the whole room shift and completely ignoring the screaming people everywhere.
"How much longer?" Tornado asked, her powers keeping her from feeling the G-force of the room zooming through the void.
"About.....now." Zack said before hitting the brakes-
SPLAT!
-and flying out of his chair and turning into a nasty blot on the screen.
"Oh.....that's why seatbelts exist." he muttered as his body oozed off the screen before turning back to normal. "Okay! We are here at our new spot! That cat bastard can't reach us here!" Zack said with a grin as he turned to the others. "Ready to keep watching?"
"I am." Saitama said before looking around him at the many groaning people, their bars and seatbelts all disappearing. "All of them? Maybe not yet?"
"I don't....feel so good." Fubuki wheezed, her face looking a little green. It didn't help that she heard Metal Bat start puking.
"...Momma....has the ride stopped yet?" an executive slurred as he got up on shaky legs while a female executive slid down in her seat a moment later.
"I never thought I'd say this....my muscles hurt a little." Darkshine confessed as he rolled his shoulders.
"Is it over?" Tareo asked as he wobbled on jelly legs before falling on his butt.
"I believe so." King said with a straight face after recomposing himself.
"Mind giving us a little warning next time you pull something like that?" Atomic Samurai said with a glare.
"I told you all to hang onto your butts." Zack reminded him before heading towards the door. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to take care of a few things."
"And what are we supposed to do?" Amai Mask asked.
"You watch a few clips while I'm gone. It'll automatically stop if you guys start talking." Zack answered as his eyes flashed before shooting a grin towards Saitama. "Enjoy the nostalgia." he said as he walked out the door.
"I wonder what we'll be seeing now." Bang thought out loud as the lights dimmed.
The scene begins with a fresh monster corpse lying on the ground.
BRUSHING UP
"Thank you so much young man." came an elderly woman's voice off screen. "You know the world's gone mad when monsters start assaulting little candy shops."
"Why would it attack a candy store?" Prisoner asked.
"Sweet tooth?" Zombieman guessed while exhaling smoke.
"You were lucky that I happened to pass by, Granny." said a pre-bald Saitama in his blue tracksuit.
"This must be sometime before you lost your hair." Tank-Top Master mused.
"Guess so." Saitama said while rubbing his chin. "Can't quite remember when this was though."
"Wait right there. Let me reward you." the elderly woman said.
"No, that isn't necessary." Saitama politely declined.
"Oh shush! It's fine! Let me repay you!" the woman insisted.
"Well, if you insist." Saitama conceeded as he thought. 'I am low on money.'
"How much she give you? 100 yen? Metal Bat joked.
"Here you go. A year's worth of assorted candy from my store." she said while holding a large bag full of candy in her arms.
'Whoa! I don't need that!' Saitama thought before taking the bag. "Thank you, Ma'am." he said with a forced smile.
"Wow! That's a lot of candy!" Tareo said with bright eyes. "Is it really a year's worth?"
"I'd say more of a minute's worth." Pig God said through the chocolate bars he was eating.
"Maybe for you." Zombieman chuckled.
"Either way, hope you got a sweet tooth." Metal Bat joked.
Saitama walked on while the old woman waved goodbye, his eyes on the bag of candy in his left hand.
I've defeated over ten monsters since becoming a hero for fun. I don't do it for appreciation, but it does help me know when I've helped someone.
'Thank you....I guess this isn't entirely unproductive. But I can't make a living this way.' Saitama thought.
"Shame you didn't know about the Hero Association back then." Sekingar said.
"Indeed. Though it's quite strange that you hadn't heard of it at all." Sitch remarked.
The happiness and excitement I feel at those times provides motivation for my next fight.
An x-rayed image of Saitama's body appeared on the screen.
So I push my body to the limit every day.
The scene then changed to outside of Saitama's apartment.
"...96....97....98....99...." came Saitama's voice before the scene changed to show Saitama doing one final push up. "100."
DAY 300 OF TRAINING
"I still find it absolutely ridiculous that you gained your level of power from doing such a simple workout for three years." Flashy Flash said with a bored look.
"You and everyone else here." Sonic added.
"It's what I did." Saitama said, sounding a little annoyed that nobody believed him.
Scene suddenly shifts as Saitama's eyes widen before he falls to the floor, his body quivering in agony and coated in sweat as the colors on the screen change each time the pain hits him.
"Urrgh! UGHH! URRRR!" Saitama grunted before the pain let up, letting him catch his breath.
"What was that?" King asked.
"You looked like you were in pain." Prisoner stated.
"Hang on....I think I remember this." Saitama said as he narrowed his eyes in thought before sighing. "Nope. Can't remember. Wait!...Nope. Slipped." he said, making the others groan.
The scene then shifts to Saitama leaving the apartments in his jogging suit. He starts off normally before he speeds up, zooming through the streets and into the general populace.
I've been training for 300 days. In response to the repetitive movement, my body's abilities have really taken off.
Scene shows Saitama running around before zooming past Tareo as he walked his dog, causing the boy to turn his head and look in the direction Saitama ran.
For example...
A car honking is heard before the scene changes from Saitama looking in shock to a car about to hit Tareo.
Aw, crap! Watch out, Tareo!" Metal Bat yelled before realizing who's name he called. "Tareo?!"
"That is me!" Tareo said in shock as the scene continued.
Scene shows Saitama's feet as he runs, leaving shoeprints in the pavement before he grabs Tareo under his right arm and the dog clings to his face. He then jumps on the hood of the car, launching them upwards with enough force that the car smashed into the ground, the front tires falling off from the damage. The scene then shifted to Saitama scolding Tareo while lightly chopping his head, the dog wagging it's tail as it held onto his face.
"Look before crossing the street!"
"Sorry..." Tareo apologized as people looked at either the wrecked car or Saitama in gob smacked astonishment.
"So that was you, Mr. Saitama?" Tareo asked. "Why didn't I remember you?"
"Probably because he's got a dog on his face." Child Emperor pointed out.
"Guess that's why I didn't recognize you either." said Saitama.
Scene then shows Tareo jogging away with his dog.
I am now able to move just like a hero should....
But....
Scene suddenly shifts to Saitama as he quivers in pain, his eyes wide and bloodshot as he begins to sweat profusely.
'It's that stinging pain again! I feel like it's coming at shorter intervals now. Did I overdo the workout?!' Saitama thought. A crashing sound is heard, bringing Saitama out of it for a moment to see people running in fear.
"A monster?" Drive Knight asked.
"AHH! HELP! SOMEONE HELP!"
"I-IT'S A MONSTER! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES EVERYONE!"
"It's appears so." Bang answered.
Saitama turns to look at a monster nearby as it roars to the sky.
"WHHOOOOOAA! I'M SO FUCKING STRONG! LOOK! JUST LOOK HOW FAST I CAN SWING MY FISTS!" he yelled before flinging the car into the air with an uppercut, followed by a flurry of punches that left the car nothing but a pile of scrap.
"Fast? Pft. Yeah right." Sonic scoffed. "He only managed to punch that car 57 times in five seconds."
"It took him 57 hits to demolish that car?" Darkshine asked before chuckling. "That's not strong. I could demolish a tank with just a flick of a finger."
'Why now, of all times?' Saitama thought as he wobbled on his feet as pain wracked his body before the scene zoomed in on his eye, the monster showing in his eyes. 'Can I do it?'
"Are you gonna be alright, Mr. Saitama?" Tareo asked. "You look like you're in a lot of pain."
"Well I can't just run if a monster's attacking just because I'm hurting." Saitama answered. "What kind of hero would I be if I ran away because I got a little hurt?"
"Got that right." Metal Bat said with a nod.
"Excellent words, Master!" Genos spoke up while writing in his notebook.
The scene now showed a closer look at the monster. It looked almost like a large human wearing glasses, but had no ears, was bald, had weal-like markings one his head, and was dressed like a boxer.
"I SHADOW-BOXED WITH THE CEILING LIGHT PULL CORD FROM MY ROOM SO MUCH I TURNED INTO A MONSTER OF DISASTER LEVEL 'GOD!' he proclaimed.
Disaster Level: Tiger
Personification of a Light Pull Cord
"Threat level of 'God?' Not likely." Atomic Samurai said in a dull tone.
"How did shadow boxing turn someone into a monster?" Tareo asked.
"Who knows. After all, Crablante was a man that changed after eating too much crab." King reminded him.
"Monsters come in all shapes, sizes and origins. Vaccine Man claimed to have been formed from the pollution on Earth." Bang added.
"That one guy become a giant monster after drinking that steroid." Darkshine threw in with a scowl.
"And let's not forget about the monsters that were made by Dr. Genus." Zombieman finished.
"And those are only a few examples. There are all kinds of monsters appearing from out of nowhere." Sitch spoke up.
"Wow....that's terrifying." Tareo summed up as they all turned back to the screen.
"AHH SHIT! PUNCHING CARS AND BUILDINGS JUST DOESN'T DO IT! I NEED A HUMAN BEING! I NEED SOMEONE TO LET ME PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE! WOAH!" Light Pull Cord roared. He looked over his left shoulder just in time to see Saitama jumping at him, a punch aimed for his face. Before it could connect, a surge of pain hit Saitama, giving the monster time to throw his left hand up and smash the back of his gloved fist into Saitama's face.
"Oof. That had to hurt." Sekingar said with a wince.
"Talk about bad timing." Child Emperor added.
'Oh....crap!' Saitama while the scene slowed down. It then resumed it's normal speed to show Saitama crashing through a truck before smashing into the side of a building. 'My body's at it's limit!' Saitama thought as he struggled to get up out of the rubble. 'I've made it this far! This isn't the time to be crying about a little pain! I have to....I have to overcome the limits!'
"You can do it, Mr. Saitama!" Tareo cheered.
"PULL CORD RUSH!" the monster roared before delivering a blinding flurry of fast punches at Saitama.
"If you weren't here right now, I'd think you'd been turned into a pile of pulp after that attack." Metal Bat said to Saitama, who was looking intently at the screen. "You okay?"
"I think....I remember why I was in such pain." Saitama said.
The scene shows Saitama falling onto his face after Personification of a Light Pull Cord ceased his attack. It then shifted to show Saitama's point of view as a white blurry image filled the screen. It then cleared up to show the white object was a tooth with a nasty cavity in it.
'Ah.....a bad tooth fell out.' he thought.
"Now I remember! I had that rotten tooth!" Saitama exclaimed.
"Seriously? All that pain was from a bad tooth?" Flash asked.
"Yeah. After it fell out, I was ready to fight again." Saitama answered.
"FOOO! NO, THAT DIDN'T DO IT EITHER! I WANNA HIT EVEN HARDER!" the monster declared before noticing Saitama getting up again. "Huh?"
Saitama then turned around and smiled at the monster.
"All better now." he said before punching a hole through the monster's head, killing him instantly.
"Whoa! How'd you recover so fast?" Tareo asked.
"When the bad tooth was knocked out, the pain was gone and my whole body felt better." Saitama answered.
"I had a problem like that once." an executive said, making them all turn and look at the guy. "I had a bad tooth once. Drove me up the wall with pain. It was so bad I couldn't do anything. I felt tired and even got sick once. Some time after I got it removed, I was back to normal."
"It's not uncommon. It would be as if one of the parts on one of my robots wasn't functioning properly, causing either a minor or major malfunction to the entire infrastructure." Metal Knight explained.
"Wow." Tareo said before looking back at the screen. "I guess that's why my mom's always making sure I brush my teeth."
"I never forgot to brush my teeth after all this." Saitama said as the next scene began.
The scene begins from the sky before lowering down onto a domed building. The words 'CITY-Z, SHELTER NO.7' appearing.
SUMMER
"I think I remember being here once." said Saitama.
"You? In an evacuation shelter?" Child Emperor asked in surprise.
"What happened? Finally run into something too strong for you to handle?" Tatsumaki asked with a small smirk.
"Nah. I heard there was a monster and thought I'd find it by following everyone." Saitama answered.
"Seriously?" Metal Bat asked while Bang chuckled.
"Saitama. Normal folks tend to get as far away from monsters when they appear." the martial artist hero said.
[These defense systems activate in times of disaster and can withstand various types of impact.]
"What's with all the info about this place?" Watchdog Man asked, earning shrugs from a few others as the scene showed many people coming in.
[Disaster mainly means the appearance of a monster. A monster is a dangerous (intelligent) creature that threatens human civilization.]
"Hey, don't push!"
"Is everything alright out there?
[Today, the shelter's defenses are fully activated.]
Many in the room tensed as the implications hit them while the scene changed to show a different part of the city.
[In other words....]
Suddenly, buildings are all demolished as something huge smashes through them, a child's crying being heard.
[...a monster has appeared.]
"WAAAAAAAAH!" wailed a massive cicada monster with a child's face in the center of it's head.
"That is one big baby monster." Metal Bat commented.
Monster: 170,000 Year Old Cicada Nymph
"What's the threat level on this one? Demon?" Atomic Samurai asked.
"Dunno." Pig God answered before he went back to eating.
The scene shifts to two heroes rolling away along with some building rubble before hopping onto their feet.
"ARGH! IT'S EXOSKELETON REPELS OUR ATTACKS!" Red Muffler yelled as the monster continued to rampage.
"AND IT'S POWERFUL! BE CAREFUL GETTING CLOSE!" yelled Grad School Graduate.
"Who are those two?" Saitama asked.
"Those are Red Muffler and....actually, I don't recognize the other one." Tareo said after looking at the two heroes before flipping through his book.
"That's Grad School Graduate. He's a Class-C hero that, for some reason, keeps joining and leaving the Hero Association." an executive answered. "The other man is Red Muffler, another Class-C hero.
"Leave this to me." came another man's voice as a figure approached them. Red Muffler turned before gasping in surprise.
"Y-You..." he began before a young man clad in black armor and weilding a long black sword with an ornate appeared on the screen. "You're the tough rookie known as Darkness Blade!"
"Oh cool! It's Darkness Blade!" Tareo exclaimed.
"Oh no. Him." an executive groaned.
"What's wrong? He's a hero, right?" Saitama asked.
"Yes, but...." another executive began before trailing off.
"My ruthless blade that can chop evil into pieces can chop anything into pieces!" Darkness Blade declared.
".....What?" Metal Bat asked after a moment.
"Huh?" a few others said while some others just looked confused.
"There it is." Sekingar said with a sigh.
"He's a skilled Class-B hero, but he talks a lot. And half of the things he says either sounds very stupid or makes absolutely no sense." Sitch commented.
"Um, maybe you shouldn't talk." Red Muffler said from behind Darkness Blade.
"I'll say. Just hearing him talk earlier is giving me a headache." Tornado commented.
[These are professional heroes.]
The scenes shifts to a close up of each hero's face, showing their Class and Rank below them.
CLASS B, RANK 61
DARKNESS BLADE
CLASS C, RANK 140
RED MUFFLER
CLASS C, RANK 299
GRAD SCHOOL GRADUATE
[Professional heroes are hired by the Hero Association, a private organization founded recently to address the threat posed by monsters. Their job is to eradicate monsters.]
"Cool. I hope we get to see their fight." Tareo said with a big smile.
The scene then returns, showing another close up of each hero's face, all of which were covered in blood and comical bumps here and there.
"Oh dear." Prisoner said while Tareo's smile dropped.
The scene now shows the three heroes walking inside the City-Z shelter while the citizens inside bombard them with insults and booing.
"WE'RE SCREWED IF YOU GUYS HIDE IN THE SHELTER!"
"YOU CALL YOURSELVES HEROES?!"
"WHAT ABOUT THAT MONSTER OUTSIDE?!"
"RETURN MY DONATION TO THE ASSOCIATION!"
'I need a new job.' thought Grad School Graduate.
"It would seem that those three heroes have lost the fight." Genos stated.
"No, really?" Tornado sarcastically replied.
"The monster's too strong. Let's wait until it die's naturally." Red Muffler suggested.
"Did he seriously just suggest that?" Child Emperor asked with a unimpressed look.
"WHAT?! THAT WOULD TAKE YEARS!" someone shouted.
"If it's still a baby at 170,000, how long would it take to die of old age?" Watchdog Man asked out loud.
"If it's an infant now, then it would probably be..." Metal Knight began as he ran the numbers in his head. "...In all honesty, probably long after time stopped."
"Is that a joke, or are you being serious?" Tank-Top Master asked.
"A little of both." Metal Knight answered.
"We did not defeat the target, but we brought more citizens to the shelter. That is all we can do." Grad School Graduate explained.
"That's good. I'm glad they didn't just leave the citizens to fend for themselves." Pig God commented. Many others in the room were nodding in agreement to that.
The scene shifts to the crowds of people walking in, the camera slowly focusing on a certain individual as the people around him talk. Those coming in being thankful while those already inside speaking harshly of them.
"The number of monsters has been increasing, but these guys are our defense?" a citizen grumbled.
"They helped us evacuate." a man in a suit with glasses said with a smile.
"Thanks. I didn't know about this place." said a middle aged man with a towel slung over his shoulders.
"They're useless." came another angered whisper.
"Thank you, heroes!" a young woman said with a teary smile.
"Good thing those people made it here." another citizen from inside commented as the figure suddenly came into focus, showing a pre-bald Saitama in his blue jogging suit.
"Looks like you did come to the evacuation shelter." King commented.
"Couldn't beat the monster this time, Baldy?" Tatsumaki asked with a smirk.
"I don't quite remember." Saitama answered.
"Huh? This is an evacuation shelter?" Saitama asked.
"Yeah. We're saved!" the woman next to him said with a smile.
"N-No way! This sucks!" Saitama exclaimed, confusing the woman. "Aw man! I didn't know! I followed those guys to find the monster!"
A lot of the audience either chuckled or groaned at Saitama's actions.
The scene now shows Saitama turning and weaving his way through the crowd as he heads towards the exit.
"Pardon me. Coming through. Sorry, but move it." he said, making people look at him.
"Hmm? That way is the exit." one man said.
"Yeah. I'm going outside." Saitama said with a smile. Everyone within earshot of that immediately looked at the man with wide eyes and shocked expressions before many of them reached out and grabbed Saitama, preventing him from taking another step.
"NO YOUNG MAN! DON'T BE RASH!"
"Huh? Hey! Lemme go! I can't stay here! Lemme go out!" Saitama yelled.
"HOLD HIM DOWN! HE'S CRAZY WITH FEAR!"
"They seriously jumped you?" Sonic asked with a smirk.
"Why don't they want Mr. Saitama to go outside and beat the monster?" Tareo asked.
"Possibly because, at the time, Saitama wasn't a hero. To everyone there, he was a man that had gone crazy." Bang answered.
"Plus, all he said was that he was going outside. He didn't say he was going to fight the monster." Atomic Samurai added.
"But he can totally defeat that monster!" Tareo said in confidence before turning towards Saitama. "Right?"
"Maybe. I don't quite remembering fighting it though. I think something else came up." Saitama said while rubbing his head as he tried to remember this day.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
"THE MONSTER'S OUT THERE! IT'S DANGEROUS!"
"Yeah, that's why I wanna-" Saitama began before being cut off.
"I KNOW YOU'RE SCARED, BUT THERE'S NOWHERE ELSE TO RUN!"
"WAIT HERE FOR SOMEONE TO BEAT IT!"
"Yeah, that's why I-"
"JUST CALM DOWN!"
"Try taking your own advice, idiot." Tornado scoffed.
"How dare they treat Master Saitama like that." Genos growled.
"Easy, Genos. They're all just scared that Saitama will get killed. He's not known as a hero yet." Darkshine stated. "If you saw a random person say they want to go outside during a monster attack, would you just stand by and let them go?"
Genos was silent for a moment before calming down, though his glare was still in place.
"SOMEONE CALL FACILITY STAFF!"
"Don't pull my hair! It's falling out again." Saitama complained as he tried to get the hand that was grabbing his hair off him, a bald spot showing on his head.
"Why didn't you just throw them off? If you're strong here, none of them should've been able to stop you." an executive asked before seeing the looks he was getting. "N-Not that I would want to see you do that! Just a thought is all." he quickly said.
"I'm not gonna hurt someone for a reason like that. I'm a hero, not a bad guy." Saitama answered, earning a round of smiles from most of the room.
"Tch. Hero mentality." Sonic grumbled.
"While the shelter's defense systems are activated, the exit won't open. Only people who pass the entrance's biometric identification may enter, so the monster cannot come in. This place is safe!" explained a woman from the Hero Association.
"There you are." an executive whispered to the woman in question, earning a smile from her.
"I can't get out? Would you please open it for me?" Saitama asked, hands held together.
"No." she bluntly answered, making him sigh.
'I shouldn't just break out, so I'll wait here.' Saitama thought before grimacing and walking away. 'I have to pee. I drank too much tea at lunch.' he thought as the woman took out a megaphone and turned it on before speaking into it.
"EVERYONE, REMAIN CALM! THE HERO ASSOCIATION SPENT A VAST SUM BUILDING THIS SHELTER! IT IS A FORTRESS FOR PROTECTING HUMANITY!" she said as the scene shifted around to show the building inside and out while she continued. "THE EXTERIOR CAN WITHSTAND SUPER HOT TEMPERATURES AND ABSORB ALL MANNER OF IMPACT! BEFORE THESE IMPREGNABLE WALLS, TANKS AND MISSILES ARE POWERLESS!"
"I hope the John isn't crowded." Saitama muttered as he walked through the crowd.
"THE ENTRANCE'S BIOMETRIC IDENTIFICATION DEVICE EVEN RECOGNIZES MONSTERS DISGUISED AS HUMANS. THE OVERHEAD SPRINKLERS DISSEMINATE A NEGATIVE ION MIST AND SOOTHING CLASSICAL MUSIC AIDS RELAXATION TO RELIEVE THE EVACUEES' STRESS!"
"Huh?" Saitama said as he looked around before approaching the woman.
"THE SHELTER IS UNBREACHABLE! IT'S PERFECT! COMPLETELY FLAWLESS!" she finished with a confident smile.
All of the Association staff smiled or nodded after all that while most of the heroes had bored looks.
"Yeah yeah. It's great." Tornado said with a wave of her hand.
"It sounds awesome." Tareo said with a big grin.
"NOW I REMEMBER!" Saitama suddenly shouted before looking at the Hero Association staff. "Hate to break it to you all, but your shelter has a major flaw."
"What?! What are you talking about?!" an executive asked in an offended tone. "Did you not hear what she said a moment ago?"
"That shelter is designed to keep monsters out and the citizens inside safe. There's nothing wrong with the shelters at all! They're completely perfect!" another executive agreed.
"Where's the toilet?" Saitama asked the woman in charge.
"There isn't one." she answered.
"Isn't that a huge flaw?" Saitama asked.
Saitama's stare was soon joined by everyone outside of the Hero Association staff.
"You guys seriously didn't put in a bathroom?" Metal Bat asked.
"What if someone has to use the toilet while the heroes are out looking for the monster?" Darkshine asked.
"Exactly. Saitama's right about that being a flaw." Zombieman stated, making some of the Association staff become a little nervous.
"Well....maybe we could've had one put in?" Director Zeimeet said after a moment.
"So much for your shelter being perfect.' said Sonic.
-ONE HOUR LATER-
The scene shifted to show the city shelter from the outside, along with the city that had pillars of smoke rising up from various locations.
"Are you telling me the monster is still not dead?! Who went after it?! Are they completely useless?!" Tornado angrily rambled. "Why didn't they just call me?! I'd have killed it in seconds!"
"Perhaps this was before Class-S was formed." Bang guessed, making her grumble and pout.
Scene shifts to show Saitama sitting and fidgeting on the ground.
'No one leaves until someone beats the monster.' Saitama thought, an annoyed grimace on his face. 'Hm...The situation is dire. Will my bladder hold up? I can last 15 minutes top...'
"OH NO! THE MONSTER JUST BEAT TWO CLASS A HEROES!" shouted a random citizen.
"Not surprising." said Drive Knight.
"If it beat two Class-A heroes, then it must be a strong Tiger, or even a Demon level threat." said Sekingar.
An image of the crying monster appears as the man continues to speak.
"THE HERO ASSOCIATION HAS DECLARED THREAT LEVEL DEMON! A NEW TEAM WILL BE HERE IN....THREE HOURS!" the man yelled, making Saitama's eyes widen in horror.
"You're fucked."
Everyone in the room straightened up at those words. Not because of the language, but because of whom had spoken them. They all slowly turned their collective gazes onto a blushing Tareo, his hands slapped over his mouth. He then looked back at them all before he started to sweat and removed his hands.
"I-I-It just slipped out! I swear!" he yelped in a panic. "Please don't tell me mom I said that!" he pleaded.
"....snrk!"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!"
Practically everyone in the room began to howl with laughter after that. Whether because of Tareo swearing, his expression or his plea, it didn't matter.
"I'm serious!" Tareo yelled, making them all laugh even harder and his blush to grow. It took a while for everyone to calm down, though a lot of them still had grins on their faces.
"Okay....okay. Are we all good?" Zombieman asked, earning a round of nodding from everyone. "Alright then. Let's continue watching." he said as everyone grew silent.
Saitama immediately stood up and began to briskly walk off.
'That's it. I gotta relieve myself.' he thought as the people nearby looked at him.
"Hey. What're you doing, kid?"
"It's that weirdo from earlier.
"I'm going out." Saitama declared, making them all stare with wide eyes before Saitama stood in front of a wall.
"Give it up. There's no way out."
"That's a wall."
"The front door sounds expensive, so this will do." Saitama said as he placed his hand on the wall, confusing those around him. He then held himself with his left hand while reeling his right hand back in a fist. "I'M GOING TO THE CONVENIENCE STORE!" he roared as he smashed a hole through the wall before jumping out, leaving the people inside to stare at the hole.
"Hmm. Perhaps we need some stronger material for the evacuation shelters." an executive mused.
"I doubt anything we use would stand up to Saitama's fist." another executive answered.
"Oh no....Did the wall just fall apart? a citizen asked.
"For the love of...Did they not just see Saitama punch a hole into the wall?!" Metal Bat yelled.
"Is this because Saitama's not a hero yet?" Tareo asked.
"Sadly, that may be the case." Flashy Flash answered.
"That crazy kid went out!"
"GAH! The monster might come in!"
"PAPA! I'M SCARED!" cried a little girl as she clung to her father.
"It's all r-right! The heroes will beat it!" her father assured her as the scene changed to outside the shelter.
"The monster was that way."
"That kid's a goner."
"That's what you think." King muttered with a smile.
"I wonder who he was." another citizen said as the scene shifted, showing Saitama running through the streets at full speed, his face full of sweat and little bits of his hair falling out.
[His name is Saitama.]
"THERE'S ONE! A CONVENIENCE STORE!" Saitama shouts in relief as the store gets closer on the screen before the cicada monster rushes in and stops in front of it, tearing up more buildings in the process before seeing Saitama.
"Looks like you encountered the monster after all." Fubuki stated.
"I guess I did. Still, I can't remember fighting it." said Saitama
"WHAAAAAA-"
POW!
"OUTTA THE WAY!" Saitama roared as she backfisted a hole through the monster, killing it and letting it fall while Saitama continued towards the store.
"No wonder you don't remember fighting it. You were too focused on not pissing yourself." Atomic Samurai said with a smirk.
[He became a hero for fun.]
[And now...]
"Now....what?" Prisoner asked.
The scene changes to show a present day Saitama on top of a tall skyscraper, the city below being terrorized by a massive monster flying through the air.
Monster:
170,000 Year Old Cicada Imago
"Looks like that cicada from before had a big brother." said Tank-Top Master.
"Summer's here." Saitama declared with a smile before the screen went black.
"Well, that was interesting." Watchdog Man said.
"What happened to that monster?" Tareo asked.
"Do you even need to ask? Even if we don't see it, we know Saitama smashed it." Metal Bat answered with a smirk. "Shame we didn't see it, though."
"I wonder how many more of these we'll see before we watch more future events." Prisoner said out loud.
"Who knows. Zack's the one who left these to be played while he's away." Sitch answered.
"What's that weirdo doing anyway?" Tornado asked with a frown.
"I'M BUSY! THAT'S WHAT!" Zack roared, his face appearing on the screen.
"AAHHHH!" Tareo yelped as he and many others jumped, making Zack laugh as he popped out of the screen and landed before them all.
"That was hilarious!" Zack chuckled, a shit-eating grin on his face.
"Where have you been? What have you been doing?" Sitch asked.
"Around, and negotiating." Zack answered. "And let me tell you, it went smoothly."
"Negotiating what?" Busho, a.k.a Bearded Worker, asked.
"All in good time. For now, get ready!" Zack said before he started dancing towards the door, his grin never faltering as he walked out the doors.
"Anyone else getting tired of his bullshit?" Metal Bat asked.
"I've been tired of it from the moment he opened his mouth." Tornado huffed as the lights dimmed.
The scene begins with someone running and breathing heavily, their shirt stuffed with unknown objects. The scene then shifts to show the one running was a blue lizard-like monster before stopping after running into a dead end.
"A monster who's also a thief? I've never seen one before." Tareo said.
"Like before, there are all kinds of monsters out there." Flash spoke up. "Each is different in their own way."
"And all of them need to be destroyed." Amai Mask added with a cold look in his eyes.
"Damn." it cursed as it looked around.
"Did you think you could escape?" came a voice, making the monster turn around. He looks up at a figure standing on a railing on top of a building.
"So persistent. Just who are you?!" the monster yelled as he pointed up at the figure.
"Me? Just a guy who's a hero for fun." they answered as the scene closed in, showing it was Saitama in a blue track suit and still had his hair. He jumps down from a top the building while the monster tried to block the sun from his eyes. During his jump, Saitama's pants get caught and rip, leaving a big hole and showing his boxer shorts before covering his butt with his hands.
"Well, that ruined your entrance!" Metal Bat laughed.
"Not to mention your pants." Tank-Top Master added with a chuckle.
"HAHA! What kind of hero looks like that?" the monster laughed.
"You....You're going to pay for mocking me." Saitama said, the scene zooming in on his glaring eyes. The monster looks stunned.
"This, I do remember." Saitama said with a nostalgic smile.
The scene then changes to image of fabrics.
"Do you have all of my money yet, mister?" came a voice as the screen pans down, showing a young blonde talking to an old man, with more fabric and materials around.
"Not yet..." said the old man.
"What will you do? The due date's tomorrow, you know." the blonde man said before looking over his shoulder at the old man. "You do know what will happen tomorrow if you don't have my money ready, right?" the blonde asked, making the old man look down and grunt.
"Who are these two?" Zombieman asked.
"The old guy is a friend of mine named...oh crap! I forgot his name!" Saitama said in realization before sighing. "I'll have to ask the next time I see him."
"Okay, but who is he?" Fubuki asked.
"He was a tailor that I went to a lot to fix up my jogging suit." Saitama answered before lifting his cape. "And he's also the guy who made my superhero suit."
"He made your costume? Cool!" Tareo exclaimed.
"Yeah. Though, it wasn't his first choice." Saitama said, his smile faltering a little.
"Okay, but who's the asshole asking for money?" Metal Bat asked.
"Now now. Let's not keep asking Saitama to explain. I'm sure we'll find out who he is if we keep watching." suggested Bang.
Scene goes back to Saitama standing over a defeated lizard monster, his stolen contents thrown about.
"Damn, I did it again." Saitama cursed as he covered his rip with his hand and walked away, a piece of his jogging suit fluttering in the wind from where it was torn.
ROAD TO HERO!
The opening theme song plays before going back to the show. The scene shows Saitama approaching the Tailor Shop before stopping at the entrance.
"Could you please give me just a little bit-." the old tailor began to ask the blonde man before noticing Saitama walk in.
"Are you busy?" Saitama asked.
"No, we're done talking anyways." the old tailor answered, making the blonde man laugh.
"See ya, old man. See ya tomorrow then." the blonde man said while messing with the tailor's toupee before walking out the door, leaving Saitama and the tailor alone.
"Sorry about that, old man." Saitama apologized after sitting down on a stool.
"Don't worry about it. You probably don't have any money either." the tailor waved off as he sat down himself.
"Sort of." Saitama admitted.
"Lately there haven't been many clients. If I don't do anything, my skills will just go rusty." the tailor joked before picking up Saitama's folded tracksuit. "But seriously, it seems like you got yourself into another tough fight again. Definitely a strong enemy, I guess?"
"Yeah. He was pretty strong. It was a really close fight." Saitama admitted.
The audience was a little shocked at that.
"You considered that weird lizard strong?" Tornado asked. "Are you completely pathetic?"
"Easy, Tornado. Remember, the Saitama on the screen is nowhere near as strong as the Saitama sitting here." Darkshine reminded her. Tornado merely glared at them before huffing and turning back to the screen.
"I see." the tailor answered before looking at the damaged tracksuit. "But, I won't be able to fix this by today. So, I'll have to keep it for a bit."
"Oh, I'll be counting on you then." Saitama said as the tailor put the suit aside.
"Oh yeah! There's something I want to show you." the tailor suddenly said. "You always get that jacket ripped, right? So, I wanted to make this for you using a special material." he continued with a smile as he held up a sketchbook. "Heroes are all about the transformation, you know?"
"Ohh! A superhero suit?" Saitama guessed while pounding his fist into his hand in realization.
"Exactly! A suit that won't tear apart from any kind of attacks. An invincible hero suit!" the tailor exclaimed as he handed the sketchbook to Saitama.
"An 'invicible' suit, hm?" Flash said with a smirk. "Highly doubtful."
"Maybe it was back then, before Saitama got his crazy strength." Atomic Samurai added.
"Is this where you see your uniform?!" Tareo asked in excitement.
"No." Saitama answered dully, his face showing more boredom than usually.
"If it's not your current uniform, then what is it?" Prisoner asked.
Saitama opens the sketchbook and sees a drawn picture of a man in samurai getup, complete with paper fans, headdress and bamboo sword on his back.
"....Oh." Prisoner said before the audience was split between laughing and gaping at the design.
"What the heck is that?!" Metal Bat laughed.
"That looks more like something you'd wear, Atomic Samurai." Tank-Top Master said while tilting his head at the design.
"Not as a hero outfit." Atomic Samurai answered with a chuckle.
"I don't know. I think I can see you wearing that." Darkshine said while hiding a big grin behind his fist.
'Man, I don't want this!' Saitama thought as he looked at the sketch.
"Who does?" an excecutive asked with a grimace.
"The idea came from the montsuki Hakama." the tailor explained.
'He has named it?!' Saitama thought as he read the name Montsuki Hakama.
"What do you think?" the tailor asked.
'What can I say to him?' Saitama thought.
"Say nothing. Just drop it and run." King said with a small smile, making a few snicker.
'I see that he included his own tastes.' Saitama thought before he closed the book. "Nah, thanks for the offer anyway." Saitama answered.
"You don't need to worry about the money. This has been my childhood dream." the tailor said.
"Laying it on kind of thick, isn't he?" Child Emperor asked.
"Yeah. I was in a bad spot. After he spent all that time fixing my suit for free, I didn't have the heart to tell him I didn't like the design." Saitama admitted.
'Crap. I don't really know. But, what should I say to him?' Saitama thought, a bead of sweat running down his chin.
"Could it be that...you already asked a different tailor?" the old man asked in slight fear.
"Hmm? Eh...uh.." Saitama stuttered.
"Then it can't be helped." the tailor said in defeat.
"No, it's not that!" Saitama spoke up before looking away and rubbing his neck. "It's just that, I thought I'll decide about it, after I made a name for myself as a hero." he explained before looking down at the tailor. 'He's always helped me. There is no way I can refuse him.' he thought before his features turned a little serious. "Look, do you know why I keep wearing the same suit? It's because I don't want to forget about my origin. Until I have made a name for myself, I want to stay focused by wearing that same jacket."
"I see. So that's how it is." the old man said in understanding.
"So you refused to change your blue tracksuit to remember your origins. Fascinating, Master Saitama." Genos praised as he madly scribbled into his notebook, making many others facepalm.
'You idiot.' a few of them thought.
'Nice! It's going good.' Saitama thought before holding the sketched picture out towards the tailor. "That is why I felt that it is too early for me to take the name of 'Montsuki Hakama.'"
"Is that so?" the tailor asked, his fingers under his chin in thought.
"I can't believe he's buying all this." Child Emperor said as he munched on his lollipop.
"When I'm a professional hero, I'll ask you for it myself." Saitama promised as he returned the sketchbook.
"Thank God he came up with this later." Saitama muttered as he glanced down at his suit.
"You're right...Right now, you only do this for a hobby." the tailor said, making Saitama sigh in relief.
"Anyway, I'll come back tomorrow. See you." Saitama said, the two of them outside the front of the store.
"Ah, one more thing!" the old tailor suddenly said, stopping Saitama from leaving. "I know you do this for a hobby, but try not to get too deep into this 'hero' work."
"Huh? Why did he say that?" Tareo asked in confusion.
"He was afraid I'd get hurt. Someone was causing a lot of problems for all the businesses nearby." Saitama answered.
"Lately things around here haven't been peaceful at all." the tailor continued.
"Really?" Saitama asked.
"Just look around this shopping district. Many of them were closed, right?" the draper explained as the scene showed the stores all shuttered, some of their signs worn and neglected. "Most of them closed down since business was really bad."
"Something tells me that blonde bastard from before hadsomething to do with it." Metal Bat guessed.
"Yeah, but it was also someone else." Saitama elaborated.
Scene changes to show a hand placing a glass of wine next to a wine bottle.
"He told me he still doesn't have the money." came the blonde man's voice from offscreen.
"I see. In that case, that store will be mine too." said another man, most of his features blocked by crystals.
"I assume that is the boss?" Drive Knight asked.
"I think so. He sounds like the pervert I fought." Saitama answered.
"Pervert?" Fubuki asked as others looked at Saitama.
"Yeah. He was tough, though." Saitama recalled.
"Hmph. I could've handled it." Tatsumaki boasted.
"We know." a lot of the others said in a bored tone.
"But boss, why are you so particular on that shopping district? Even if you had it, you wouldn't earn much from there." the blonde man stated.
"I do not know why too. But, it's not that I really need that money." the boss answered as he looked at his hands, his features now clear.
"He didn't want money? Then what did he want?" Tareo asked.
"Just an impulsed, I guess." the boss growled before the screen rippled, a loud heartbeat being heard. "An impulse that is calling me to destroy whatever I can." the boss continued, freaking the blonde man a little.
"What in the world was that?" Sitch asked.
"Didn't you hear him?' Amai Mask asked as he stared at the screen. "He said he feels something inside telling him to destroy everything."
"You don't mean...?" Sekingar said before trailing off as he and a few others came to the same conclusion.
"Boss, I got the papers for that candy shop located at third avenue!" a man with blue hair exclaimed as he held the papers to the candy shop out for his boss to see.
"Nice. Good work." the boss congratulated as he leaned back in his seat and fixed his purple lensed glasses. "I feel so good. I feel that itt's close." he proclaimed as the ripple and heartbeat returned. "Just a little more..." he said before the scene faded to an overview of the area, his laugh heard in the background.
"It's really strange seeing this day from another point of view." Saitama admitted.
"It's been strange long before the first episode started." Watchdog Man said, earning a lot of nods from the others.
'What the tailor old man said was true indeed.' Saitama though as he walked through the quiet and empty streets, the scene changing every few moments. 'A lot more stores have gone out of business as compared to before. And now that I think about it, the crimes in this area are really frequent.' Images then appeared of people commiting various crimes like pickpocketing, burglary and theft, all with Saitama witnessing and/or taking action. 'On streets, in a house, and that store earlier today.' Scene goes back to Saitama. 'In just one week, I have captured three delinquents.' he thought before the scene changed to the apartment complex he was living in. 'Is this zone really no longer safe?' he wondered as he walked towards the building.
"Sounds like a rough neighborhood." Fubuki commented.
"Is that where you live?" Pig God asked.
"It was, before I got kicked out." Saitama answered.
"You got kicked out? Why? Didn't pay the rent?" King asked.
"Well yeah, but that's not why I got kicked out." Saitama answered with a sigh.
"What you see here is the evolution of the rhinoceros beetle." came a man's voice from on the TV after the scene changed to inside Saitama's apartment, with Saitama watching TV in his pajamas and scratching his butt.
"We didn't need to see you scratching your butt." Fubuki groaned.
"Wow, it finally starts to take the form of a rhinoceros beetle, professor!" exclaimed a woman as the TV screen showed who was talking.
"Didn't I tell you that it looks totally different when it is in its larva form?" the professor asked.
"Ah, it's like that!" the woman exclaimed.
"Oh, is that so? Didn't know about that." Saitama said to himself before he heard a knock at his door. "Who is it at this hour?" he asked before he answered the door. "What a bother..."
"Do you have the rent?" asked an old woman as she glared up at Saitama.
"Let me guess. The landlady?" Sonic asked.
"Yep." Saitama answered before his face deadpanned more than usual. "I really hate her."
"Wouldn't anyone hate her if she kicked them out?" Pig God asked through his food.
"You'll see." Saitama answered.
Saitama looks at her before looking away and slowly shuts the door before the landlady shoves her foot in the way and stops it.
"I think she wants her money." an executive joked.
"You haven't paid rent in three months, you know that?" she asked.
"Three months? You sure not paying isn't the reason you got evicted?" Zombieman asked.
"It wasn't." Saitama answered.
"Uh...I really don't have any money. I am also really busy these days." Saitama answered.
"I don't know if you're a hero or what, but I'm sure there's a way you can make money with that." she said.
"Don't say something like that." said Saitama.
"Anyway, I am going to kick you out of here if you still can't pay the rent You better be prepared for it." she warned before she left, letting Saitama close the door.
"Crap." Saitama grumbled while scratching his head.
"Did you not want to work, Mr. Saitama?" Tareo asked.
"A little. I was also trying to focus on my hero hobby." Saitama answered.
Scene changes to the Tailor Shop the next day, the tailor's laughter is heard before it shows him talking to Saitama.
"You're still young and strong. Why don't you just do some part time job?" the tailor laughed.
"I guess I have to." Saitama lamented.
"Careful, or you'll start thinking like Hammerhead." Bofoi spoke up, his lips curled into a small smile.
"Stop complain. The rent there is really cheap, right? Here you go. Your jacket" the tailor said as he brought out Saitama's repaired tracksuit.
"Oh, thanks!" Saitama said in gratitude.
"Indeed, you look more like a freeloader than a hero in that jacket." the tailor stated. "Be more careful wearing it. I won't be able to help you after today." he confessed, confusing Saitama before the blonde man came in and knocked on the glass door to announce his presence.
"Today's the day, old man." the blondie stated with a smile. The tailor sighed while Saitama just looked confused. The scene then showed the blonde man waving the deed to the store between his fingers. "Alright, I'll take this as payment. See ya later!" he said before leaving.
"Who was that guy just now?" Saitama asked.
"This shop is closing down. I have mortfaged this shop for a loan." the tailor answered, shocking Saitama as the old tailor began to explain. "They're from the Niya Niya Loans group. I took a loan from them due to some cash-flow problem this shop is having. I'm maxed out just by repaying their unreasonably high interest rate."
"So....you were cheated?" Saitama asked.
"Poor fellow. Those interest rates really know how to get you if you're either desperate or don't read the fine print." an executive, Cautous, said in sympathy.
"In any case, the shop closes today." the old tailor said.
"Why don't you go to the police for help?" Saitama suggested.
"Pft. Those useless buffoons?" McCoy scoffed. "They're about as useful as a screen door on a submarine." This caused a lot of the others in the room to give him either confused or disbelieving stares. "What? I merely speak the truth."
"Who said the police are useless?" Metal Bat asked in annoyance. "I mean, yeah, they can't stand up to most monsters, but they can do other stuff like handle small time punks and normal thugs."
"Indeed. The Hero Association was made to exterminate monsters. The police are more than enough for simple matters such as petty thieves and other such matters." Drive Knight stated.
"Alright, I'll give you that. Still, I stand by my opinion in that the police are simply obsolete." said McCoy. "And besides, stopping such criminal acts is what Class-C heroes can handle."
"Even if that were true, there's not enough heroes in Class-C to handle every little crime out there." Sitch reminded him. "Even those all the way up in Class-S cannot handle all of that at once"
"Say what?!" Tatsumaki snapped, her power flaring in anger.
"Calm yourself, Tornado." Bang spoke up. "Sitch is right. Even with all of our strengths and abilities, we wouldn't be able to stop every criminal act out there. Even with all the heroes in the Hero Association working together, it'd be impossible. Even Saitama here can't be everywhere at once."
"How dare you question Master Saitama's abilities!" Genos yelled in rage. "Master Saitama could easily handle all the world's problems in a single day if he felt like it!"
"Whoa! Don't heap all that on my shoulders! I can't be everywhere at once either!" Saitama yelped in a panic.
The room soon erupted into a mass argument about who can be everywhere at once, how the police can help and a few bits of some Class-S heroes getting offended here and there.
"Well this escalated rather quickly." Blast said to himself as he watched the chaos unfold. "Hmm. Should I expose myself and break this up?" he asked himself.
Suddenly, the doors burst open, silencing everyone inside as Zack, dressed as a female viking, rode in on a biplane, a horn in his hand playing Ride of the Valkyries. Everyone watched the scene-
CRASH!
-until Zack smashed the biplane into the screen. The ruined plane fell onto the ground, leaving a horribly mangled Zack on the screen.