Cooking requires someone to take charge of the kitchen.
Especially when there are this many people cooking at once.
As expected of a group of thirteen wildly different people, there was bound to be someone passionate about food.
One of them, Mr. Gregor, the one who had brought up chicken dishes in the first place, stepped forward with confident strides and said, "Back in the war, I often gathered leftovers and made canned-food dishes for my comrades."
Gregor, cooking? That was unexpected.
"The soldiers, tormented by trauma, all shed tears of emotion and ate together."
"Hmph."
"...I could have sworn I just heard someone snort... I must have misheard."
In response to Gregor's question, the owner of that snort, Ms. Ryoshu, wore a mocking smile and said, "How amusing. A bug-haired fool like you is talking about cooking? You'd be better off using those tongs to grill hamburger patties."
"Wow~ If Mr. Gregor opened a shop, he'd be the Tongs Boss!"
"...Ryoshu, that meant bug-haired, right? Still, Tongs Boss does have a certain ring to it... Hm? My head's suddenly..."
Wait, Tongs Boss? Ugh, my eyes...
What my eye suddenly showed me was Mr. Gregor greedily lusting after money. Opening a shop under the sea... Ack, no!
So that was what Tongs Boss meant. No wonder the voice sounded vaguely similar...
"Cooking, you see... is something the tongue and the sword command you to do."
Oh... Hearing that from this man feels strangely unsettling.
"Is food thrown together haphazardly in a war zone really worthy of being called cooking?"
"Oh~ A killer line just dropped!"
"Ms. Ryoshu didn't even shorten it this time!"
"I'm surprised Ms. Ryoshu even has a cooking philosophy."
"Tch... It sounds impressive, but hearing it from that one makes me feel weird..."
That... I agree with.
"No, but have you ever actually cooked before, Ryoshu?"
"Of course. I've made dishes at a level you, a trivial fool, could never even imagine."
"This is starting to piss me off..."
"Very well then... I'm on Ryoshu's side!"
Rodion was the first to step behind Ryoshu and say that.
Ryoshu's side? That was unexpected. I thought she'd stick with Gregor as always.
At this rate, Plan A of clinging to both of them and freeloading is scrapped.
"Why are we suddenly splitting into sides?"
"Ahaha, because it's fun~"
"And the reason you naturally chose Ryoshu's side?"
"Greg, we've been too close all this time. Just for today, let's put a wall between us."
...That was so very Rodion that I had nothing to say.
By then, perhaps having regained some sense, Mr. Heathcliff stepped behind Gregor and said, "So if I smash that bastard, we win, right?"
No, let me correct that. He was still insane.
"No, no, not smash him—"
"You mean he fed his subordinates canned food? What a disgrace to soldiers. For the record, I'm a fan of instant food."
...Ms. Otis muttered something I couldn't make sense of and took her place behind Ryoshu.
No, are canned food and instant food really that different?
I'd have to have served in the military to know, I suppose...
"It's just a matter of taste!"
...So that's what it was.
"How childish. You really want to divide into teams over something like this?"
"Hey, you're the one who's late to the party. Pick a way to survive or get lost."
"Th... th... That means it's too late to say something so carefree...! Th-then..."
Maybe because of Ryoshu's forceful tone, Sinclair slowly walked over and stood behind her.
...Pathetic.
"What kind of cheating is this? Dragging people over by intimidation is against the rules!"
"....."
Then, from somewhere, Yi Sang, who had been quietly watching, let out a soft breath and said, "I shall not choose. I shall humbly be chosen by you all."
That was also very... like him.
"We don't need that one. Take him."
Yi Sang remained standing there and naturally became part of Gregor's team.
...So now it was my turn to choose, huh.
"Saramago, it was good on our bus. Come with us. Just once, just once, please!"
Gregor even grabbed my shoulder and started begging.
Ugh... At this point, it'd feel rude not to choose...
"Greg, don't beg like that. It makes Saramago feel bad if he comes to our side."
"W-when did it become certain I was going to Rodion's side?"
"Hm? You don't like it?"
"No, I mean, I don't dislike it, but the situation is just a little..."
"Mr. Saramago, please. Hm? Come over just once. If you don't come too, then it'll really..."
Now they were even using honorifics while begging!
I tried my hardest to send them a pleading look that said to let me go, but neither of them seemed inclined to release me.
Why are they clinging to me like this... Ah, come to think of it, among everyone here, I'm the only one from a fairly ordinary Nest who actually has a normal palate and orders chicken often, aren't I?
Unexpectedly, I was a very rare commodity.
Wait... hold on. A rare commodity with the palate of the only normal Nest resident here. There are thirteen sinners who can cook. That doesn't divide evenly by two.
I saw it. A way to escape this deadlock.
"All right, everyone, calm down... How about this? Since we're splitting into teams and there are thirteen of us, I'll abstain."
"Wait. Saramago, what kind of nonsense is that? Don't try to run away—pick already!"
"Hear me out first! Instead, I'll be the first to taste and evaluate all of your food. Think of it as feedback."
"Hmph, who are you to evaluate my cooking? Have you ever made proper food?"
"I may not be a cook, but I do have some discernment when it comes to gourmet food. Before joining the bus, I did travel around various Nests and explore fine dining."
"...Huh. So?"
"More importantly, what we're trying to do isn't create gourmet cuisine. It's to hit the palate of Nest residents living near K Corp's commercial district dead on, isn't it? I'm the closest to their tastes here. I was just an ordinary feather from another Nest, after all. I've also ordered from plenty of chicken shops like this."
"...That's surprisingly convincing. You pass."
Yes! I succeeded in escaping the hell of choosing sides.
Gregor and Rodion only showed disappointment on their faces and didn't seem inclined to object much.
My logic really was persuasive. Hah, that's one less thing to worry about.
"....."
After I abstained, the last person, Meursault, quietly stood behind Gregor.
"Meu, Meursault..."
Wait, are you crying? If this happens, I'll soften up again...
"I was actually a little moved. Even though we don't usually talk much, you came to me first like this, and I..."
"I simply thought it was the proper balance to go where there were fewer people."
Ah... I think I saw tears well up in Gregor's eyes for a moment.
Now I feel guilty...
Still, when I looked back on this moment in the future, I thought something else.
If I had used my eye's ability even once, I wouldn't have made such a foolish choice.
Even if it meant becoming badly estranged from someone, I would have chosen someone.
Those horrifying things... those things that were barely even fit to be called food... ugh...
...No one could have known that such a simple taste test would go that far.