I focus.
On my magic.
The one that's inside my mother skull.
There's more of it to be honest, there is some everywhere around her, but my practice with my sixth sense helped. I needed to see through so much shit when I was in the brothel that I'm basically a pro at focusing on my magic, even if it's far away, even if there's a lot of it, I can find the needle in a haystack.
Always could really.
Probably because of the pain the needle is shoving through my body constantly.
But that's not the subject.
No.
The subject today is illusions, and it's making my mother unable to see the mess on my face. The reason I went with something simple like a filling from a cake is simple.
It's because if that fails, and she sees the mess on my face, she won't be worried, and she'll just wipe it off my face or something.
I'll be able to see, or feel it nonetheless.
I could have done something different. During my practice some weeks ago, I managed to do some crazy stuff.
Like making myself look bigger than I am, changing my eye color and removing the weird blue drops in my eyes, also managed to make me look taller -a bit, there's still some problem with that- managed to change my hair color, managed to do a LOT of things, lots of miscellaneous things by messing with my flow and pushing it around my brain and my nerves.
Could have gone with something else.
Could have made my eye color green for example. Had more practice by doing small changes like that for a future plan of mine.
But if I did that, and she noticed?
Well.
Uh.
Good luck explaining that.
Guess I could remove the illusion and play with the whole 'you're seeing things', 'you're tired' cards, but why risk something like that when I can just plaster some delicious raspberry filling on my fac-!
DON'T LICK THE INVISIBLE FILLING NEBE! DON'T!
With immense self control -truly an immense amount- I calm myself and focus on what's happening right now.
What I need to do right now.
Which is putting my mother through an illusion.
Focusing on my magic in her skull, I push it up, and spread my flow gently in there.
Slowly. Take your time nebe.
I use a technique I figuered out on myself.
It allows me to spread my magic everywhere, but doesn't really do anything. When I did it on myself, it allowed me to spread shit everywhere in all areas, but the amount of magic was so small and dilluted, it changed nothing, had no effect.
I made sure of that.
Walked around. Danced around, looked around, arched my neck, shot my crossbow but then I remembered that my grandfather talked about worms with youta so going hunting was a bad idea, so I trained my stabbing instead.
And nothing happened.
My flow was there, passively resting around my skull without doing anything, didn't cause problems, didn't cause good things, it was there. Just there.
And that's what I'm trying to do on my mom. Because that's how I usually start my illusions, sometimes I don't, but for practice?
I do.
It's pretty safe, and it avoids any random vision loss. So that's my go to.
Spread a bit of flow everywhere. Iimbue everything, dilute everything, and then, strengthen the flow in some areas until it has an effect.
The more my flow spreads around my mother brain. The more thankful I am. Thankful for taking my time instead of rushing. Would help me go faster, yes, but I'm sure I would have messed that up.
Because the more I feel, see, sense -my sixth sense is weird- her brain. The more I map it out, and focus on it's wrinkled details.
The more I notice the differences.
My brain is different than her.
For a first, mine's smaller. Literally. AM I RETATDED!? Okay, calm, babies take time to grow their entire brain. Makes sense that my brain is smaller, would explain a lot of my mood changes, some dumb thoughts of mine, and a LOT of different things I did.
It would make sense. It makes sense for my brain to be slightly smaller.
I'd say it's like at...76-80% of her size? So it's a bit smaller for sure.
Also. There's different parts.
Well.
Yes and no.
The general pattern, the general anatomy is the same, I can find her occipital lobe and see that it's her occipital lobe, that it's on the back of her brain, but it's also slightly shorter than mine?
And some parts of her brain are bigger.
There's...differences.
Overall, there's big differences in our brains, the anatomy is more or less the same, but everyone is different, and I'm starting to worry that I may just mess up and make her blind for half a second.
It's gonna be hard.
Doesn't mean it's impossible.
Leaning my head against my door, my entire body goes slack as I focus on my magic. On the flow in my brain, and the flow in hers.
Painstakingly.
Slowly.
Inch by inch. I do it.
A bit more magic there. A bit more flow there. Slide everywhere. Fill this part of the brain, dodge the upper part, imbue the front part of her brain, go close to the spine, feel her nervous system, the elcritical pulses her brain sends. Manipulate it, move it, slightly, adjust it. Slightly.
I get into a daze.
Like an artist, a painter or a sculpter, I chip at imperfections, changing the small errors, making sure the foundation doesn't break down, making sure everything is...fine.
"Nebeeee come eat!"
I open my eyes. See the wooden door.
Inspect it one last time.
And rush inside the living room.
"Steeeeeew!"
She lets out a good natured chuckle before turning around to see me running around the living room like a crazy kid. I stop. To look around and make sure she can see my face perfectly.
"Did you make stew?"
She looks down at me, a gentle smile on her face "Of course I made stew"
She turns her back to me. Smile still on her face as she hums something. She adds something else in the stew, putting the last touches.
But she doesn't mention the sticky filling on my face that's so obvious to see even a half-blind guy could point it out.
The rest of the night passes like that.
We eat together.
She doesn't see shit.
From time to time I touch my cheek and feel out how sticky it is, how it's still there. But she doesn't mention it, doesn't even do it when she kisses the top of my head an hour later and wish me a good night.
She doesn't.
When I'm in my room, a handmirror in my hand, I remove the illusion going through my brain and the red filling appears.
I clean everything up. And when it's done, I get in my bed. My kunai close to me. Always close to me.
Well it worked.
My smile grows, even if I try to stop it. I can't.
This is the first step toward being active.
This is the first step to finally being able to act, to be around people, to change people, to influence them and get rid of this shitty life of mine.
Needs some training, yes, it's not ready ready yet.
But can't a kid dream? And dream I do, this I do.