How far can I go with that?
That's a great question, a really great question, one I want, one I MUST, experiment on, RIGHT, NOW!
Or should I?
I look around me, around the library, at everything that's around. At her, absorbed in her book, not seeing me, nor seeing the image book I put on the counter, beside her own book, something THAT should be in her peripheral vision.
Why am I even shocked at seeing her unable to see the book?
I'M IN FRONT OF HER AND SHE'S NOT SEEING ME FOR FUCK SAKE!
Giving a look at my left, I see the bookshelves. Same as before, a bit dirty, still some dirt and spiderwebs around.
But still, there are books.
Last time I stole three while she wasn't looking, while she was in the backroom, focused on finding an image book for me.
Today?
I'll steal some books while she's right there.
I slide forward, slow and steady. Approaching the bookshelves while looking behind me, at her, to see if she'll react.
To see if she'll get up. Scream at me, throw something maybe. To see if I'll forever lock myself from getting free books for the rest of my life.
To see if I'm messing up.
To see if my being too greedy, if I should just calm down, get out of the flow, and tell her about my progress with the image book.
I'm wondering this, and more.
Should I really do this? Again? It's...risky.
My feet keep moving forward. Almost without any conscious thoughts, I find myself in front of a bookshelf again, I lift my hand up, and grab a book.
When I grab the book and pull it out, it makes a sound.
A pretty small sound, but one that is defeaning in the silence. The sound of a leather cover brushing against the rotten wood of the bookshelves, this is the kind of sound that could be heard by thousands in a room THAT silent.
My heart picks up. Beating in my chest. Harder and harder, I do not feel it, but I sense it, a drop of sweat slowly dripping down on my forehead at the realization that this sound was so loud it would be ground for everyone to shut up and stare at the person who just did that sound if it was in my past life, it I were in the middle of a classroom, or a waiting room.
Sowly, I inch my gaze to the right to see her.
Staring at her book.
And then I stop. Just to look down at the book I managed to pick up.
I clearly made sound here.
Looking up again reveals her...still reading.
Something bubbles in my gut, a mix of excitement and fear, fear at not knowing how the fuck I'm doing that.
And this fear pushes me to get closer to her again. To slide on the ground, stepping in this weird rhythm. This weird slide, those weird steps that produces a weird rhythming sliding sound, barely hearable, but if I focus on it, I can hear it, the sound, and the rhythm it's making
My footsteps, the slides, they make sounds.
If those didn't break her out of the trance. It makes sense that taking a book couldn't break her out of it too.
But why?
Shouldn't she...hear it? Am I the only one hearing myself?
But...last time. In the street. I laughed and they heard me. I'm sure, I was fussing about my new power, excited and more than a little confused, overall I was giddy. Giddy enough to laugh. I laughed.
And two people heard me. Two people looked at me.
It was noticeable.
So what's different now? What is different? That makes no sense.
There must be a pattern somewhere.
Should I laugh at her? Right at her face?
To see if she'll notice?
...that sounds really risky.
I turn around, to grab my image book again. The new book I stole already deep inside my pockets.
Grabbing the image book she gave me, my mind keep running with dozens of questions.
I don't think experimenting now. On her, is smart. Maybe I'll experiment on other people.
On old annoying people. On the kind of pathetic bitches that give me bad looks, and are too old and weak to even run, the kind of bastards that won't be able to give me any consequences if I mess up.
My eyes land on her. Okari. Experimenting on someone that gives me free books and information sounds like a real bad idea.
Stealing books is already pushing it to be honest.
That's why.
Without any hesitation. I lift the book above my head, the comic book one.
And with a sharp tug down.
Slam it down on the counter "Boo!"
"HOLYFU-!" She scrambles out of her chair, one hand still holding the book. It comes flying with her as she pulls back, soon enough she frees it as she pulls herself and her chair back. The book flies away.
I grab it mid air.
And as I do she keeps scrambling, one hand on her armrest, one leg pushing on the ground to get up, the other one cupped under her torso, foot on the chair.
Her now free hand is palming her chest, her heart. Eyes wide open while staring at me. At the kid that just appeared out of nowhere with a dumb smile on his face.
I let out a small laugh at her reaction. And put her own book down, maybe I should have left the library, and entered again without the flow, but that's too late now.
Let's just act like everything is normal
"Didn't even see me enter, that book must be something..." I let the last word hang as I pull her book closer to my face to read it. And pointedly ignore how she looks at her left.
Head snapping to stare at the door. "Uhm"
She looks at her right too, and slowly a small smile spreads on her face as she composes herself, sit down, and pulls herself close to the counter.
"Well...shit kid, you scared me to death"
"My mom says that 'shit' is a bad word"
She opens her mouth to answer. But instead sigh, drag a hand on her face and look one last time at the front door before looking at my image book.
"She's right, don't use it. I'm a bad example, so, you finished the book?"
She takes her book back from my hand and I don't resist. Nodding at her instead.
"Yep!" I perk up, putting as much childish enthusiasm as I can into it.
"Okay....what is it about then?"
My childish smile gets bigger.
Set and match bitch. You're gonna tell me about magic now.
I push forward. Both hands staying on the image book as I ready myself to talk about this cool image book I loved, like any good children would.
"So! So! It was this guy! The guy in red!"
She nods at me, letting me fawn over whatever is in this book. And I do.
"He's super red, and super bad because he beats up people. But then! There's this guy in green!"
She looks down at my image book. Remembering which one she gave to me.
"And like, the green guy is super cool! And kind! And he's green because he helps everyone, and he's super strong, and all!"
"And then, the green guy and red guy are rivals, the red is all" I pull back, putting a deeper meaner tone in my voice. Still, with my baby voice, it just sounds cute "Argh! You'll never beat me green guy! I'm stronger than you!"
I pull back again and take a kinder tone, exaggerated really "I don't want to fight you red guy! Stop your bad ways and come with me, we can create something better!"
Okari keeps listening, finally calm after I sneaked up on her.
"But the red guy doesn't stop! So they fight, they fight so hard mountains rise up, and gets broken, new forests are made before being burned down and all!"
She keeps nodding. Eyes coming down on the book one last time. Do she even remember the story?
"But after losing! The red guy goes...urgh, I lost. Maybe you were right. I see the errors of my way."
"And then they both make up. Becomes best friends ever, and create something new and better together!"
I give her a thumb up and a terribly cute smile. And she answers with a blink, not used to childish excitement.
"That's...it." She lifts both of her hands, looking at them for a second. As if she were wondering what she was doing, but soon enough, she gives me two small claps. "Good job kid, that's the story."
Before she can say anything else, and lead the conversation in a place I don't like. I push forward, so much I'm almost climbing the counter.
"I loved the story! It's all like, whoosh whoosh" I pull back and start miming magical spells, throwing fireballs and all "Kamehameha!" She raises an eyebrow at that but doesn't get the reference.
Understandable.
I jump a bit more before turning toward her again "It's all super magical and all. Is it the truth? How did green guy grew a forest? Can I do that too?" I push forward, both hands clasping the counter.
"Magic? Can you do magic?"
"Yes! Do you have books on magic?"
"Uh..." She looks at her library for a second before giving me a look.
"Magic doesn't exi..." She looks at my eager expression and sigh.
Her eyes focus on mine and her tone turn serious.
"Not now"
The entire shop gets silent.
I get silent too. She keeps up eye contact.
"Grow up a bit and maybe I'll tell you about it."