Chapter 17 Part 2
"You shouldn't have, Nagisa-san..."
"Mfmmmhhm... Gulp! C'mon, Sakurai-kn — Koru-chan offrd it himslf! Om-nom-nom..."
"Naruko, could you at least TRY to show a little modesty?" Haruno sighed, sorrowful. "And stop talking with your mouth full!"
"Chew first!" I backed him up — reinforcing it with a symbolic whack to the back of her head.
"Wll, fin — if you say so... glp!... it's delishus!" The blonde exclaimed, eyeing the rice balls with shining, greedy eyes.
"Thanks. But — Naruko?"
"Huh?"
"Cheeks." I tapped my own face, meaningful.
"Mm?.." She copied me — and looked, surprised, at the rice grains on her fingers. "OH?!!"
She spun around and started rubbing her face furiously with her sleeve.
"Pf." Watching her, Sasuko couldn't hold back her trademark expression. Though — I caught her quickly moving her lips, checking if anything had stuck to her own face.
"I-is it gone?" Naruko asked, timid — face red from friction and shame. "Everyone saw... right?"
"Yaaa... You're so amusing, Naruko-chan. Though — I don't blame you. Kaoru-kun really does cook deliciously!" Akashi said with a smile.
...
Akashi?!
"S-sensei?!" — Sakurai. "From WHERE?!.."
"Huh?! Huh?!" — Naruko.
"When did you—?!" — Sasuko.
"Ara?.." — Me.
"Yo!" The jonin greeted them — cheerful. Who, literally one second ago, had been NOWHERE!!! And from the look of it? She'd already sampled my cooking. Five or six times, based on the remaining balls. "I see you've managed well."
Smiling, she picked up a rice ball with her chopsticks — brought it to her mouth — and... What the hell?! It vanished!
I pinched under my eye and stared at the contentedly chewing Akashi. Looking around — I wasn't the only one. Three pairs of eyes were locked onto the path of yet another ball — which also disappeared without a trace. Sakurai followed my lead and pinched his arm. Naruko was rubbing her eyes, hard. And Sasuko's expression was absolutely priceless: I'd never seen such a vivid blend of shock, confusion, and INTENSE concentration. The half-awakened Sharingan really added zest to the image.
"How are you DOING that?!" Naruko cracked first.
"This... this?" Akashi asked, curious — deftly snagging a new target.
"THAT! THAT!" Naruko couldn't find the words, pointing at the sensei's hidden face.
"What?.. Silly Naruko-chan — it's called 'eating.' People eat with their mouths." The white-haired woman tapped her chopsticks against the fabric covering her lower face. "With this. Did you really not know that?"
"Yes— NO!" The blonde shook her head. "How are you DOING it?!"
"Weren't you listening?" The woman rolled her eye, demonstrative.
"Sensei — I think Naruko's talking about something else," Sakurai began, slowly thawing. "It's just... How do you eat?"
"With my mouth." Hatake repeated it, calm as anything. "Gods — the children these days..."
"Why don't you take off the mask?" Sasuko joined in.
"...." Akashi picked up another ball — her eye rounding in fake shock. "Mm?! This's really tasty, Kaoru-kun. What's in it?"
"Eel fillet," I answered politely, sipping tea. This show's way too good to ruin.
"She's ignoring me... What the hell?!" Sasuko hissed.
"Hey — sensei, seriously, how do you eat like that?" Sakurai asked.
"Like what?"
"Where does the food GO?!" Naruko couldn't take it. "How do you eat through the mask?!"
"It's ninjutsu." Akashi said it with total seriousness — "vanishing" another rice ball. "A secret technique passed down in my family for thousands of years!"
"Eh... N-ninjutsu?"
"Ninjutsu."
"Thousands of years?!"
"Thousands."
"Hey — wait! Why do you even HIDE your face, sensei?!" Naruko asked, direct.
"Why?.. Mmm..." Akashi raised her eyes, pondering. Then resumed eating.
Ig-noring.
"Grrrr!" Naruko's eye twitched. "Don't you DARE ignore me! What's under your mask?!"
The genin were gradually reaching boiling point. I could practically feel the bloodlust aimed at Akashi — still dodging a straight answer. Kami-sama — she really does love tormenting her students.
"Ohh — Naruko, Sasuko, Sakurai?.. Could it be... that you did all those weird things to find out what's under my mask?" Akashi asked, radiating pure, genuine surprise.
"YES!!!" Sakurai couldn't hold it in.
"Then why didn't you just ASK?"
"DAMN it, why is it—?!.. Huh?!" Naruko started raging — then the words registered. "Seriously?!"
"You'll show us?!" Even Uchiha lost what little composure she had left, staring at the teacher.
"Well — yeah." The jonin shrugged.
"!!!" The genin swayed forward in perfect sync — eyes locked on Akashi's face.
"What on EARTH is wrong with you?" Akashi sighed — even scooted back a little. Her hand touched the fabric. "Oh, fine. Since you're SO interested. I'll show you what's under this mask. Watch verrrrry carefully — because this'll be just once."
The genin leaned in — greedy — practically horizontal — devouring every movement.
"It's only natural... that under my mask...." Akashi ripped the fabric away! Aaand! "...Is ANOTHER mask! (^_^)"
bam!
The genin face-planted in unison. Their spirits? Thoroughly crushed.
"Ha-ha-ha! Well — you've finished your mission, so you're free to do your own thing." Akashi chirped, cheerful, replacing the fabric over the other fabric. Even from the outside — she looked utterly pleased with herself. "Thanks for the meal, Kaoru-kun. Bye!"
Poof! Akashi vanished.
"WHAT THE HELL?!" The cruelly deceived genin howled as one.
"That woman..." Uchiha glared at the empty air. "All this time!! ALL THIS TIME!!!"
"Damn — I'm NOT letting this go!" Naruko fumed, pounding the ground. "I won't give up! I'm gonna find out what she's hiding under those rags!!! Tebane!!!"
Oh... it's been a while since I heard that cry. Looks like the blonde's dead set on unraveling the "mystery" of Akashi's face.
"Agreed!" Sakurai nodded, serious. "That was beyond underhanded! Unforgivable!"
The trio exchanged glances — nodded firmly.
"This's war!" They declared — practically in unison.
K-Kami... main thing is — don't lau—... don't lau—! But... bggg... it's so... hard!
"Ara, ara..." I murmured, cheerful, barely suppressing a full-on laughing fit. Should I get a little more entertainment out of this? It'd be slightly cruel — but I WANT to!!! Kami-sama — I honestly tried to hold back, but I'm just a simple man. My spirit's so weak... "You know, guys... I've actually seen Akashi-taicho's face."
"!!!" The trio snapped to alertness instantly.
"Really?!" Sakurai asked, shocked.
"Koru-chan — when?! Never mind — what's she hiding?! What-what-what???"
"Tell us!" Sasuko demanded, practically looming over me. "What's there?! Fish lips?! Rabbit teeth?!! A horse face?!! COME ON!!!"
Mmaa... Starting to think this wasn't the best idea. Those shadows on their faces... those big, dark silhouettes behind their backs — radiating malice... Slightly concerning.
"Umm — now, now, no need to get so worked up!" I actually crawled backward a bit under the pressure. They got SO riled up! Especially Sasuko — never seen her this agitated. That faintly manic gleam in her eyes... a little worrying. "Well — I did treat her in the Land of Waves, remember? She was pretty beat up, and..."
"Get SPECIFIC!" The genin were a pack of hungry wolves.
"Ah — her face, right... Well — you know?.. It's..."
"It's?!" The kids asked together. Kami — their timing's adorable!
"It's really..."
"Really?!!!"
"It's... Huh?!" I shouted, pointing behind them. "LOOK — A BEAR!!!"
They jumped — spun around.
"Eh?.. But there's no..." Sakurai mumbled — turned back — blinked. Nagisa Kaoru was gone.
"Eh?! Where's Koru-chan?!"
"...He ran." Sasuko snarled. In the eyes of the last Uchiha heiress — her incomplete Sharingan blazed to life. "Ko-no-ya-rooo!!" (*konoyaro - is a Japanese swear word meaning "bastard" or "scumbag.")
"LET'S GET HIM!!!" Uzumaki formed a seal. A cloud of smoke — and a full dozen Narukos burst out, scattering in every direction.
"He couldn't have gone far!"
"Catch him!"
"Grab him!"
"Tor-tu... oi! We'll shake it all out of him!!!"
"I'll check that way." Sasuko declared it — resolute. Wounded pride surged inside her — stoked by excitement and burning disappointment. No — she'd catch that boy. Shake his soul right out of him. He WILL tell her EVERYTHING. She won't be fooled twice!
Thus began the Great Hunt.
***
"Maybe provoking them wasn't such a great idea," I thought, melancholic — swinging upside down. Tied up like a caterpillar in a cocoon, I observed the world almost philosophically. Hm — how did it come to this? I managed to escape. Just forgot one tiny detail: I live next door to Naruko!!! Hid all day from the genin baying for my blood — and by evening? Criminally dropped my guard. Never expected an ambush in my own home.
"Heh-heh-heh!" Naruko was pleased — hands on her hips, admiring her handiwork.
"Now... you're gonna tell us EVERYTHING!" Sasuko stated it with absolute certainty — leaning in, threatening smile.
Mmmaa...
"Um — Sasuko-chan, this's a little..." Sakurai mumbled, anxious. Looks like my capture didn't seem like such a great idea to him anymore.
"Tch. Shut up and don't interfere!" The girl snapped. "After everything I've been through... Don't think you can just stay quiet!"
Alright — that was VERY frightening! But I won't crack that easily!
"Gh. I'm saying nothing!" I turned away, proud. Let's see what they've got.
"Is that so..." Sasuko's smile? Slightly unsettling. "Naruko."
"Heh-heh! Sorry, Koru-chan. But I really, really-really-really-really wanna know!" Despite the words — zero apology here! Especially since Naruko looked... alarmingly perky. "Prepare for torture!!!" She shoved her hand in her pocket. "FEAR THIS! HA-HA-HA!"
"Eh?"
"...A feather?" Uchiha raised an eyebrow.
"Heh-heh... Well — it's just..." The blonde leaned in and whispered something to the brunette — giggling occasionally.
"Pfh!! Seriously?!" Oh-oh — Sasuko's smile is genuinely terrifying now! "Hey — could it be... that you're... afraid of being tickled?!"
"Wha?!.. No! Not at all!!!" I shouted — maybe a little too fast. A little too frantic.
"Oh, really?" She twirled That Infernal Thing in her fingers.
"D-do n-not come cl-closer!" Aaah! Why are the ropes so TIGHT?!
"Fu-fu-fumm..." Sasuko laughed, soft. "Not scaaared?.."
The feather dragged across my neck — a stampede of goosebumps.
Eeeeek!
"Hhh!.. Ahhhrr.. S-stop!!"
"Gonna talk?!"
"C'mon, c'mon, Koru-chan! Unburden your soul!" Naruko chirped, running the feather behind my ear. YRRRHHHHH!!! "Come ooon! Like this! Like this — like this — like this — likethis—likethis—likethislikethislikethis!!!!.."
"Pfh! Iih! Hee-heeeeeeee-hhhh!! S-ssstoo!.. Ahhhhheehh..."
"Now-now-now!"
"Come on — speak! SPEAK!!!"
"Kkkk kkkilll meeeeee..."
"Um... Girls, you... Kami-sama!.."
"Hereherehere!!!"
"Speakspeakspeak!"
"AAAAaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhaaaaahhh!!!..."
***
"Should we help our master?" Hora asked, confused.
"Weell?... He's laughing — so he must be having fun." Horo replied. "Must be a really fun human game..."
"But what's so fun about it?.. Humans are weird~"
"Yup~"
"Ah — I wanna play something fun too..."
"Let's go mess with the humans in the hot spring?!"
"Let's go!!!"
Having found themselves an activity, the spirits headed toward the public baths — ready to prank the visitors with water-and-steam illusions.
...thereby abandoning their master to two rampaging young beasts.