The man in front of them was still committed to staying open for business even during Christmas, doing his part to contribute to New York's absurd crime rate.
That kind of dedication was certainly admirable…
Yeah, no. Absolutely not.
Anyone who regularly worked as a robber would know just how amateurish this guy was.
"Listen, buddy."
Joey theatrically stepped in front of Starfire protectively, then, under the threat of the robber's dark gun barrel, slowly raised both hands as instructed.
"If you want us to put our hands up, then we can't exactly take out our wallets."
The mugger immediately felt that Joey made an excellent point.
For a moment, he was completely speechless.
"R-Right! Then… then take out your wallets first, 'then' raise your hands!"
"I'll do exactly what you said."
Joey stared 'nervously' at the trembling gun barrel while slowly lowering his hands. Just as his right hand reached inside his jacket, he suddenly asked:
"Oh right, I just remembered something—what if instead of a wallet, I pull out a handgun? What would you do then?"
This was North America, after all. A country where guns could practically be sold in Walmart.
Anybody reaching into their pocket might pull out something lethal the next second.
As a local, the robber naturally understood that reality.
The moment he heard that question, he panicked so hard he nearly pulled the trigger by accident.
"N-No! Then put your hands back up first!"
"Alright."
Joey raised his hands again.
"But now I can't take out my wallet."
"Enough already—"
Standing behind him, Starfire finally couldn't take it anymore.
Bzzzt!
Her Green Lantern ring instantly manifested a pair of pliers and a wrench, disassembling the robber's handgun into scrap metal in a split second.
"Stop messing with him already!"
Both Joey and Starfire could tell this robber lacked the nerve to truly commit violence.
Otherwise, after Joey had toyed with him like that, he probably would've already fired a bullet.
Of course, going easy on him didn't mean they intended to let him go.
Attempted robbery was still robbery.
"So," Joey asked, "are you walking yourself to the police station, or do I have to carry you there?"
"Please have mercy!"
After witnessing Starfire's incomprehensible abilities, the man realized he was completely finished.
He dropped all resistance and fell to his knees begging.
"I can't go to prison, please!"
"And you also weren't supposed to rob people," Joey shot back. "Didn't stop you from trying."
Rolling up his sleeves, Joey prepared to drag the man over to the nearest patrol car two blocks away.
"You should be grateful it was us you ran into. Illegal firearm possession plus attempted robbery gets sentenced way lighter than armed robbery."
Watching Joey casually walk closer and closer, the man's eyes suddenly flashed.
While continuing to beg aloud, he abruptly sprang up and threw a punch straight at Joey's jaw.
"Ow!"
The robber instantly clutched his hand in pain.
What the hell was this guy's jaw made of?
"Like I said, you should really be thankful you met us."
Joey flexed his fist.
Originally, he'd planned to punch the guy once in return.
But after remembering the previous incident where one punch had turned someone into a grounded meat, he hesitated for a long while before giving up on the idea.
Instead, he simply grabbed the man by the collar and lifted him high into the air.
"If it'd been a certain guy dressed in black who likes staying up all night, you'd already have several broken bones right now."
"Please, let me go! My name's Flint Marko! I only came out robbing people on Christmas because I had no choice!"
Seeing resistance was hopeless, the man calling himself Flint Marko immediately switched back to pleading.
"I have a daughter! She's sick and needs money! If I go to prison, nobody'll be there to take care of her!"
"Your very first sentence was already a lie."
Joey didn't even need to listen to the man's heartbeat to recognize the entire story as complete nonsense.
"Marco is a stereotypically Latin surname, and you, my friend, do not look Italian or Latino at all. You look Irish. Or maybe British."
Of course, Flint Marco was a fake name. Nobody commits a robbery while proudly announcing their real identity.
"Please, even if the name is fake, my daughter is real!"
"Fine. Then tell me your daughter's name."
To prove this guy was completely full of shit—and to make sure he went to jail with absolutely no complaints—Joey decided to verify the story on the spot:
"Don't want to say it? Fair enough. Then at least tell me which hospital she's in. Flushing Medical Center?"
Using his super vision to scan the inside of a hospital more than ten kilometers away, Joey scanned through the patient registry, listing the most likely matches while watching the man's reactions:
"Cassie? Emily? Anya? Penny?... Ah, Penny. Your heartbeat skipped half a beat when I said that."
The moment he heard those words, the fear and pleading on Flint's face vanished instantly.
"What the hell are you?"
"I swear, if you hurt her, I'll—"
Before he could finish the threat, two police officers rounded the corner into the alley.
Someone outside had apparently called it in, and the nearest patrol unit had responded.
"Don't move! Police! Hands on your heads and face the wall! Keep your hands where we can see them!"
"Officers, the robber's already subdued!"
Joey shouted toward the two approaching cops while giving Starfire a subtle look.
Her fingers twitched slightly, and the disassembled handgun on the ground instantly reassembled itself—minus the firing mechanism.
Joey released Flint and waited for the police to cuff him.
"You're still going to prison."
The tense officers finally got a clear look at the people in the alley and visibly relaxed.
One of them kicked the handgun away, pulled out his cuffs, and forced Flint to the ground.
"Nice work, citizen. Would you mind coming back to the station to—"
"No, thank you."
While the officers were busy searching Flint, Joey had already grabbed Starfire's hand and backed toward the alley exit.
With a single blur of motion, the two disappeared completely.
"Merry Christmas, officers."
Nobody wanted to spend Christmas stuck at a police station giving a three-hour statement.
Back out among the crowded streets, Starfire tugged anxiously on Joey's hand and refused to keep walking.
"Now that he has been arrested... what will happen to his daughter?"
For Joey and Starfire, getting held up at gunpoint had been little more than a minor inconvenience.
But for the robber now being hauled away—and for his daughter left alone without anyone to care for her—it was the sum total of all the misery in the world.
"That girl needs money right now," Joey explained after Starfire nearly pulled him off balance by the arm, "not a armed criminal father who might eventually kill somebody."
"So first, we need to get some cash."
Even though Joey would still need someone as absurdly rich as Tony to help expand the Flashpoint world's military capabilities.
But this kind of thing wasn't something he wanted to bother Tony with.
Fortunately, money had never really been a problem for Joey.
His eyes swept across the ground before he bent down and picked up a lump of coal.
It was Christmas season.
Santa Claus usually rewarded well-behaved children with gifts.
And what did naughty children receive?
Coal.
Clearly, some careless Santa had dropped this piece on the street.
Joey placed the black lump in his palm, closed both hands around it, and slowly rubbed them together.
A few seconds later, he opened his hands again and blew away the outer layer of carbon dust.
Resting in his palm now was an irregular transparent diamond.
He held it up in front of Starfire with obvious satisfaction.
"Simple molecular physics."
"Honestly, I've never understood why these things are supposed to be valuable."
Diamonds were mostly carbon anyway.
There was nothing inherently rare about them.
At the end of the day, creating a diamond just meant rearranging carbon atoms into the correct structure.
For Joey, that was basically effortless.