Chapter 131: The Correct Way to Use a Taser
Matthew drove quickly, but by the time they reached the site it was already dusk.
The main reason being that Thor had gotten hungry halfway through, and the two of them had pulled off the highway for a substantial detour to a Chinese restaurant.
Without that, they would have been there considerably earlier.
"By the look of this setup, this would be where your property currently is." They stood on a hillside looking down at the crater, which had grown a temporary installation around it since Matthew had last visited.
Watchtowers rose from each corner of the camp perimeter. The searchlights didn't rest, sweeping continuously across the surrounding terrain in slow arcs.
Not a casual operation.
Below, figures moved in numbers through the base. A group of researchers stood in the crater itself, working their way through a systematic list of approaches: crane, industrial electromagnet, vehicle tow. Each attempt was methodical. Each produced nothing.
Mjolnir sat where it was, as though it had grown up from that exact spot.
"Agent Coulson, do you want to try?" A suited agent called across to Coulson.
Coulson waved him off. "I tried before you all got here. Can't move it."
He turned to the researchers and note-takers in lab coats. "I want full measurements on the hammer. Every value. No detail too small."
"Understood." The researchers answered together.
Thor took in the heavily staffed base and let a flicker of caution show, then glanced at Matthew. "Lawrence. If you needed to get something out of there, how would you go about it?"
Matthew looked down at the figures moving through the base below.
If it were him right now?
A gravity field across the whole area would probably handle it.
If a less direct approach was required... close the gates, release the Red Goblin, collect the result afterward.
None of which he could say out loud.
"If it were me? I'd try to buy it."
"And if it can't be bought?" Thor asked.
Matthew smiled. "Then it's simple."
"Take it."
"Take it?" Thor's eyebrow went up.
He'd been expecting something more sophisticated.
He hadn't expected the answer to be identical to what he'd already been thinking.
"That's right. Take it. If it belongs to you and they won't return it, take it back. What's complicated about that?" Matthew spread his hands.
Thor looked back down at the base.
That was a reasonable position.
Take it. The only course of action.
He turned to Matthew. "Lawrence. What comes next will likely be dangerous. I'll go in alone."
"The great Thor does not deliberately place mortals in the path of danger." There was something completely genuine in how he said it.
Then his expression shifted slightly. "Though before I go. One thing."
"Do you have a weapon you can spare?"
"A weapon. You're asking exactly the right person." Matthew pulled the taser from his sleeve.
"You should recognize this."
He flicked his wrist. The pencil-length device snapped to full size.
For clarity of demonstration, he pressed the button twice.
Zzzt. Zzzt.
At the sound of the current, every muscle in Thor's body locked up.
He looked up at Matthew with an expression that was difficult to characterize precisely.
Was this standard equipment? Did all Earth people carry one of these?
Despite this, he took it.
"You know how to use it?"
"I know." Thor nodded.
He'd experienced the device on two separate occasions from the receiving end. Of course he knew how to use it.
Aim at the enemy's backside. Apply the current. Generously.
Admittedly the technique was a touch underhanded. But a weapon was a weapon.
"Thank you." He gave Matthew a sincere nod.
At that moment, a notification appeared on Matthew's System panel.
[System: +500 points. Thor Odinson genuinely considers you a friend.]
Thor gave the taser a quick test toss in his palm to get the feel of it.
Then he walked into the darkness without looking back.
A God of Thunder was not limited to direct combat. Infiltration and ambush were also part of the skill set. Required, technically.
He'd just never gotten particularly strong marks in those subjects.
Night was settling in.
Thor moved in a low crouch, running through the dark in a zigzag pattern that he appeared to consider evasive.
Standing on the hillside, Matthew watched Thor trace an S-shape through the shadows and nearly lost his composure.
The speed. The footwork.
Was this some kind of game?
Comical as the approach was, Thor reached the base perimeter without incident.
He looked through the chain-link fence at the interior, waited until no one was looking in his direction, grabbed the fence, and tore a gap through it. He went through.
As he moved closer to the hammer, the sky began to change. Cloud cover built from nothing. Lightning walked through it at intervals.
The humidity climbed at a rate that Matthew could see from where he stood.
He hadn't seen any weather reports predicting this.
Was this what divine power actually looked like?
Inside the base.
Sitwell, a HYDRA operative embedded within SHIELD, sat staring at his screen.
Alexander Pierce had sent him. The objective was to determine what the hammer actually was and whether HYDRA could use it.
After a full day, Sitwell had nothing. Every instrument brought within range of the hammer was disrupted by its signal, producing unstable readings that couldn't be recorded in any usable form.
This was making him increasingly difficult to be around.
"Anything yet?" He looked at the analyst beside him.
The analyst registered the tone of the question and answered carefully. "No."
"But there's something else."
"Something else. What."
The analyst pointed to a different screen. "Someone's gotten inside."
On the screen, Thor was in the middle of a running brawl with a group of agents.
The taser was seeing vigorous use.
Every application landed on exactly the same location on each target, and each target went through the same experience: a full-body lock-up, a sharp clench, a staggered collapse.
"Fuck." Sitwell said it quietly. "Why didn't you tell me sooner."
The analyst, with the look of someone who had been doing their job exactly correctly: "Sir, you didn't ask. And security protocols activated automatically. Telling you now isn't too late."
Sitwell's fist made an audible sound.
He said nothing more to the analyst, turned, and moved toward Thor's position.
He'd had nowhere to put his frustration all day.
Now he had somewhere.