The sun blazed down relentlessly on the outdoor movie set. Erasmus sat comfortably in the shade, sipping on what humans called a smoothie, surrounded by the bustling film crew while watching his father and Queen Maeve shoot a scene.
"Do you need anything else, sir?" Ashley asked Erasmus, adjusting her clipboard. She had just personally secured his fresh smoothie and the shade setup he had requested.
"No, thank you, Ashley. You were great," Erasmus replied with an easygoing smile. "And you can call me Erasmus. It's a little awkward when you call me 'sir' when you're older than me."
"Oh, okay, Erasmus," Ashley smiled, visibly relieved by his polite demeanor. "Well, if you need anything at all, just call out to me, okay?"
"Will do. Thank you."
"You're welcome!"
"Bye Bye"
"Bye!"
Scattered across the ground around him were light mattresses, high-end dog food, and bowls of cold water, everything his puppies needed to stay comfortable while they kept him company during the long wait.
Stan Edgar had actually "ordered him" to play a part in this commercial, but Erasmus had flatly refused. Edgar tried playing all of his cards, but since Erasmus wasn't officially under a Vought contract yet, the old man couldn't do a damn thing about it.
Well, the only other option Edgar had was to ask Homelander to order the boy around, but the CEO was far too proud to ever ask Homelander for a favor.
While he waited, He explored more of Rufus's gifts. Training himself to intercept human thoughts, tuning his mind to filter through the noise of the set. Today's exercise was about limits: he was testing exactly how many individual minds he could hold in his head simultaneously without getting lost.
[I want to shit so bad]
[this fucking sun is killing me]
[Homelander's acting is so terrible, I could do better]
[It's so hot in this suit, but my god, Maeve is even hotter in hers]
"Here I go, guys. Wish me luck," a voice suddenly spoke aloud, cutting through his mental exercise.
Erasmus turned his head slightly to look at her. She was a black-haired woman dressed in a surprisingly practical suit. He raised an eyebrow, genuinely surprised; judging by what he saw for now, he had assumed every female member of The Seven was legally required to be half-bare.
She held up her smartphone, broadcasting a live video to her followers.
"FYI, guys, not a real base," she said into the camera, panning the lens around to expose the fake green screens and scaffolding. "It's as if Homelander and Maeve will eat MREs and piss in a ditch."
"Yeah, hi, excuse me! We are filming right now. No recording is allowed on set!" Ashley attempted to stop the brazen woman, but she was ignored completely.
Stormfront didn't even look at her. She kept talking, aiming the camera straight at Homelander, Maeve, and the fake army actor. "Also, guys, you might recognize 'Army Boy' over here as Hotel Clerk Number Two from that one episode, 'The Devil's Breath,' in Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders."
"Hey," Erasmus called out from the shade, causing the brazen woman to finally notice him. "Ashley is talking to you. She said no recording."
"OMGGGGGGG YOU GUYS, IT'S VANGUARD! I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU!" she screamed with exaggerated, high-energy enthusiasm, instantly pivoting her phone to center Erasmus right in the middle of the live frame with his smoothie and puppies.
Below his chair, the German Shepherd puppies stirred, letting out low, protective growls at the sudden, loud intrusion into their space.
"You guys, Vanguard has puppies! Look at them, so cute! German Shepherds puppies!" Stormfront squealed into the microphone, shoving the camera closer to the shaded area to capture the dogs.
"Well, hello," his father finally came over. He was getting really annoyed with this woman.
"OMG, Vanguard's daddy is here! My nana is your biggest fan! I'm Stormfront," she said as she panned the camera to his father, causing Homelander's corporate smile to visibly stiffen.
"Great."
"Yeah, from Seattle, right?" Maeve added as she stood next to her filming partner, deeply annoyed that she would have to reset and do this entire tedious scene over again.
"Portland, actually, Your Highness."
"Holy shit, your eyes are really fucking blue up close," Stormfront said, shoving the phone camera inches from Homelander's face.
"Haha, you are fun. This has been a hoot, but we got work, so let's get back to it," Homelander said, his plastic smile coming out again as he turned around to leave.
"Oh, totally. They just wanted me to meet you."
"Who?" Homelander asked.
"The boys on 82. I'm the new girl."
"Wait, what are you talking about?" asked Maeve confused.
"Oh, hi, I'm in The Seven! Replacing Translucent, god bless his soul. Ink is barely dry, but yeah, reporting to duty!"
His father stopped, his gaze instantly piercing right through Ashley. Ashley looked like she was about to cry, clutching her clipboard like a shield.
Poor Ashley. Erasmus wasn't being kind to her. He didn't feel any real sympathy for her, he knew that if you acted kindly toward everyone, his kindness will be taken for granted, but if he was picky with it.
"Wow," Homelander exclaimed, his eyes locked back onto the new supe he didn't choose after what he did to blindspot. "Well, Stormfront... who delivered the good news?"
"Mr. Edgar. The big guy." Stormfront caused the already stiff smile to stiffen even more
Watching his father and Maeve act through the rest of this interaction was genuinely hard to watch. The stiff smiles, the forced voices, it was absolutely horrible acting.
"Alright, great," his father said, as he turned and stormed off toward the trailers, clearly looking for a private room to punch a hole through someone's chest.
Erasmus stood up from his shade, brushing himself off, and decided to follow him. He whistled softly, his puppies instantly falling into a perfect, disciplined line at his heels.
"OH, wait, wait, wait! Vanguard! Vanguard, don't go, I wanted to talk to you!" the brazen woman called out, trying to redirect her live stream back onto him.
Erasmus completely ignored her, following his father. He just took another sip of his smoothie and kept walking with his puppies behind him.