I surely should have known better than to purchase a book with tentacles, seems like one of the pranks Hermes would have pulled knowing I enjoy novelty.
The Tome had caught my eye when I was shopping around in Excelsior's market, there I noticed a tucked away corner stall run by a nervous-looking tiefling who kept glancing over his shoulder constantly. The book's cover writhed with what appeared to be living tendrils, pulsing sickly green.
"This is genuine forbidden knowledge from beyond the stars," the merchant definitely looked sketchy ,had whispered. "Power to reshape reality itself and only fifty gold." What absurdity, sounds like a scam, I thought in amusement.
Fifty gold for a book that supposedly contained reality-warping secrets? Either it was worthless, or the merchant was desperate to get rid of it.
I bought it anyway. For research purposes.
Back inside my room at the inn, I set the book on the table and cleared out everything else that might get in the way and examined it more carefully.
I opened the cover.
The pages were blank and as I flipped through it they started shifting, text appearing and disappearing too quickly to read and when I focused on one section, trying to parse the words.
**"̴̡̢̛̖͍̱̫͙̗̼̞͙̦̝̰͇̲̠̹̱͖̈́̈́̄̈́̅̉͊́̓̋̐̌̓̏̚͜͝͝ͅP̵̢̧̨̡̨̛̛̛̻̺̺͇̫̥̱̪̹̺̖̪͈̱̦̘̜̜̳̼̺̫̩̱̞͈͈̼̫̞͙̮̗̼̹̣̝̥͍̮̙̘̥̫̱͕̟̝̦̝̙̳̞̼͓̥͙̥̮̻̱̪̦͈̳̪̯͔̘̮̝͍̺̠̺̹͖̺̹͙͇̘̜͕̗̰̝̜̰̰̟͓̲͓̭̠̜̙̱̺̪̰̮͉̜̮̰̦̫̰̗̬̦͔̀̓̍̍̐̓͊̒̆͌̽̓́͑́͐͆̾̉̀̈́̂̊͐̀͐̓̾̋̉̌́̀̈́̈́͆̅̆̈́̓̀̈͋̋̽̌̄͌̇̓̀̈̌̎͐̏̆̂̀̎͆̏̓̓̈́͗̾̽̈́́́̔̈́͋̏̇̈́͌̌̋̂̄̃̉͑̈́̀̈́̏̐͗̑̊̅̌͂̎̕͘̚̕͘̚̚̚̚͜͜͜͝͝͝͝͠͠͝͝͠͝ͅͅǪ̵̧̧̨̨̨̧̨̡̢̨̧̨̨̨̢̡̧̨̢̢̢̧̧̡̢̢̨̧̨̛̛̛̛̛̛̛̛͚̱͈̤̮̳̳̣̥̤̘̳̝̭̬̙̫̦̹̘̰̟͙̰̪͍̝̠̝̫̩̳̘̻̝̟̲̙̝̝̬̫̲̮͕̬̮̤̪̹̩̦̗̗̘͍͖̤̫͙͇̫̮͖̠͇̫̫̝̰͙̲͙̭̦͕̠̝̫̟̬̼͚̠̼̥̺̤̰̫̳̪̪̮̖͇̦͖͖͚̹̜̦̼̱̦̤̻̯̘̲̤̭̱̼̻̗͙̗͎̫̲̙̤̠̰̝̮͍̟̞͇͍̥͇̺̯͖̩͇͓͉̞̲̪͖̤͕͔̥̥̳̳̠̰͉̺̯̝̤̬̼̝̝̝̻̯̺̻̮̺̻̫͉̞̫̼̹̹̹̫̞̖̥͓̼͉͙̹͎͖̰͔̝̪̬͓͓̗͓̗̪̖̮͚̝̳̼̹͇͎̮̝̹̻̬̦̘̮̙̱̭̬͇̰̟̝̻̠̺̫̗̖̈́̆̿̈́̑̾̾́̍͂͒̃̀͒̽̓̇̋̓̃̈̈̈́̏́͂͗͆̽̿̀͆̀̀͋͑̾̏͊̓̃̀̓̀̉̏̂̿͗̅̓͂̌́̈́̎̈̀̾͋͑̓̉̀̔̽̓̽̇̊͌̈́̍͑̂̊͐̎́͗͋͐̽̒̊͌̃͋͛͗̆̀̐̔̓͌̑͊͆̉́̀̇̌͂̆̽͊̎̑̽̀̈̏̀̂̅̓̄́̀̃̈́͊̀̓̍̅̆̿̌͂͒̏͌͗̀͌͌̐̐͐͂̇̅̀̂̐͒̊̔̋̆̉̋̋̀̆͂̇́̾͋͊͑̀̿͒̒̑̔̎͋̅́̌̃̑͐̈͛̾̎͆͊̍̐͋̔̏̆́͗̉̃̓̍͂́̏͗̋̀̌̈́̀͌̐́́̓̓̒̊̑̆̾̍͒̉͛̈́͋͊́̽̓͋̌̂̓̈́̄̉̔̔̆̓̇̒̀̏̂͛͌́̀̔̍̀̆́͒̐̀̒̓̑̈́̀
"Yeah, no," I said.
I stood, carrying the book to the window. The tome seemed to realize what was happening, the tentacles tightening, the whispers growing more insistent.
WAIT. YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. THE POWER I OFFER-
I threw the book out the window.
It shrieked, an actual audible sound that made the glass rattle. The tentacles flailed as it tumbled through the air, pages flapping like wings in a desperate attempt to fly back to me.
Below, in the courtyard where I'd left them, the Khalkotauroi waited patiently and one of the bronze bulls looked up as the book fell toward it, opened its furnace-heated mouth, and caught the tome perfectly.
CRUNCH.
Haha had fun with this one.