"Life is coming on track… but it still feels like a part of me is missing. "The words escaped my lips before I could stop them.
I stood quietly on the balcony, my hands resting against the cold railing, eyes fixed on the moon hanging silently in the night sky.
No matter how hard I try… I don't feel the happiness I used to feel. The night was still. Too still. No voices. No laughter. Just the soft rustling of leaves and the distant sound of traffic fading into the background. It felt strange… how the world could move forward so easily, while mine felt stuck somewhere it refused to leave.
My fingers slowly moved to the black thread tied around my wrist. The small silver half-moon attached to it caught the faint light of the night, glimmering softly. It had always been there. As long as I could remember… it had never left my hand.
You tied it when I was little, so small that I didn't even understand what it meant. I remember asking you why, trying to take it off, and you just laughed.
"It's the moon," you had said. "It will stay with you… always."
Back then, it was just a thread.
Now…
Now it feels like the only thing that stayed when everything else left. My fingers tightened slightly around it.
"You said the moon would always stay… even when you couldn't."
My voice came out softer than I expected. A tear slipped down my cheek before I could stop it. I wiped it away quickly, letting out a small breath.
"I miss you, Mumma…" The words felt heavier tonight.
"I know you wouldn't like it if I cried… but I really can't help it." For a moment, I just stood there, staring at the moon. I don't know why I talk to it like this. Maybe because it feels like you're listening. Maybe because it's the only thing that hasn't changed. For months now, this has been my habit. The moon, my diary, and silence… they've become my safe place.
I leaned slightly against the railing, closing my eyes. I still remember how you used to call me inside when I stayed out too long. "You'll catch a cold," you'd say… even when it wasn't cold. A small smile appeared on my lips. But it faded just as quickly. Now no one calls me back in. The silence answered for me.
I opened my eyes again, looking at the moon. "I'm starting my new school tomorrow… your dream school, Mumma. "My voice trembled slightly." I made it." The words didn't feel as happy as they should have. "Unfortunately… you're not here to see it."
I turned slightly, my gaze falling on your framed photograph near the balcony door.
For a moment, I just looked at it.
"But I know you're proud of me… right?"I folded my hands slowly in front of it.
Sapphire Valley Academy. I looked at my ID card and uniform. Even the name felt distant. A place where people like me don't belong… at least, that's what everyone says.
Rich kids. Perfect lives. Perfect confidence. And then there's me. Holding onto a scholarship like it's the only proof that I deserve to be there.
"I'll do well… I promise." I don't know if I was saying that to you…
Or to myself.
A soft sigh escaped my lips as I glanced at my watch.
10:00 PM.
"I should sleep…"
Tomorrow matters.
I can't afford to fall apart.
Reluctantly, I stepped back inside.
The room felt quiet. Empty. Or maybe… it was just me
"Good night…"
My voice was barely there.
I lay down on the bed, pulling the blanket close to my chest, holding it tighter than usual.
And slowly… sleep took over.
And suddenly…