Chapter 46: Decision
Zein's Point of View...
I woke up in a dark place with no windows, everything made of wood. There were no furnishings either, except for a single door. Through a small crack at the top, the moonlight peeked in.
Moonlight?
"Fuck!" I cursed as I realized it was already night.
What time is it now? Has it started yet? NO! I cannot not go. I know he will wait for me.
My two hands were still tightly tied behind the chair I was sitting on, and my feet were also bound. My mouth wasn't covered, as if they were sure that even if I screamed here, no one would hear me.
I tried to move my hands and feet but they were too tight; I couldn't even make a small movement. FUCK! I need to get out of here.
"You're just tiring yourself out."
I quickly looked towards the dark part of the room. A man was standing there, playing with a nail.
I suddenly remembered when we first entered this hell. He was the first student here I talked to, the first person who gave me goosebumps, the first person who threatened me. Nazzer Lumia.
He walked towards me and hid the nail in his pocket. You couldn't see any emotion in his deep eyes that could be compared to Nicky's. The presence of the founder of the Black Blood Gang.
I felt goosebumps rise at that moment. At last, I really felt the devil. He is showing his complete dark aura.
"L-Let me go, please."
Hardly any voice came out of my mouth, and it was just like air. He seemed to have heard my plea because his eyes became more intense and his jaw moved. He was angry... very.
"I can't believe that love could grow in this hell." He said coldly as he leaned his back against the wooden wall in front of me. "What a waste... to the wrong person... wrong time... wrong place." He added.
I know what he's referring to. I couldn't open my mouth. Was it really wrong? All this time, am I tracking the wrong path? Shit!
"Who are you?" He asked like a madman. "You are just a girl but how could you make things complicated?" He added, his forehead and brows slightly furrowed.
"Yes, I am just a girl." I answered flatly. "A girl I never imagined to be." I whispered.
I never thought I would become like this, that everything would turn out this way. I let myself fall, I should have stopped myself a long time ago. I should have stopped this earlier but now... I guess, it's too late. The hole is too deep.
"I can't let you go, not now."
"But someone is waiting for me," I answered in a whisper.
He paused for a moment before shaking his head. "It's better that you can't go." He replied.
"But why?"
He came close to me and knelt in front of me so we could face each other. He held my cheek and wiped away the tear that had been falling for a while.
"Sorry, Zein. I don't want to be an obstacle."
I moved my face away from him so he would let go of it.
"But you are an obstacle now. Already." I replied flatly.
He irritably ran his hands through his hair, which seemed tidy.
"Do you want to know why you can't go to that party?"
Even though I was confused, I just nodded. He smiled bitterly and stood up. He moved a little away from me and took a deep breath.
He took off the blazer he was wearing and put it on me. "It's cold, Matt will get mad at me if you get sick." He said.
"Tell me." I challenged stiffly.
"Supremo is planning to reveal everything tonight. He will shout out what you two have."
I gaped at what he said.
"H-He won't do that." I replied.
DAMN! He can do it! He's not afraid to shout it out, he's not afraid to lose everything. He can let go of everything for me. He is not afraid of losing everything for me.
"He will, I know you know. Do you know what will happen to him when they all find out? They will remove Supremo's power, they would treat him as a trash, a disappointment."
I was speechless, I had nothing to say. I couldn't stop myself from yelling at myself. I knew this would happen but I still did it. If Supremo couldn't stop himself, I should have stopped him.
I smiled bitterly at the truth that... I chose wrong. I should have just let go of these feelings, I shouldn't have let everything become like this.
"Let me go." I said lifelessly.
I felt Nazzer untie all my bindings.
As he was untying them, my chest felt even tighter.
"This is the only time I will trust you." Nazzer said.
He held out his hand in front of me and I accepted it wholeheartedly. We went out of that hut together.
We started wrong, I haven't done anything right, everything has always been wrong, maybe, even in the end, I can do something right. I won't let everything he has disappear.
Even if the cost is lifelong regret, I will gladly accept it. I should have done this a long time ago but only now have I found enough courage.
I won't let my heart get hurt again.
We arrived at the party where deafening noise immediately greeted us. I looked at the stage where a man was frowning as he looked at Nazzer and me.
"I have to go, I might die prematurely."
Nazzer let go of my hand but I couldn't even bring myself to look at him. I felt deafened, the once loud sound weakened and weakened until I could hear nothing else but my bouncing heart.
He came close to me and held my cheek. "Darling, you came."
I don't know why but I suddenly hugged him. He was wearing a tuxedo which I think I already crumpled because of the intensity of my hug.
The sound changed and became slow. All the people on the dance floor earlier disappeared and all I know is that Supremo and I were left in front of the scrutinizing eyes.
Their eyes were narrowed and I know what all they are thinking. What you're thinking is right, we love each other but I think it won't last much longer.
"Thank you," whispered Supremo before he tightened his grip around my waist even more.
He pressed our bodies together so I had nothing else to do but stare into his smiling eyes... When will I see that smile again? I hope you can still manage to smile after tonight.
"Best day of my life. Darling, you made me extremely happy."
My heart feels squeezed when I hear the word darling. I love hearing that word. I will miss his smile, his voice calling me darling, his lines, his scent, I will surely miss this feeling. The feeling whenever I am with him.
"Darling, I hate your silence."
I bowed my head slightly and pressed it against his chest. I bit my lip when I felt the stinging in my eyes. I hope, after this, everything can somehow return to normal.
I hope, after this, you can still forgive me even though I know it's unlikely.
" Supremo, I love you."
He lifted my head so I had nothing else to do but stare into his eyes, which were now confused. He released his hold on me and was about to go to the stage but I held his arm and hugged him tightly.
I will stop you no matter what. You don't need to sacrifice everything you have for me. I need to end this because the pain is too much.
"Zein, I love you more and will always be you, only you, Darling."
My whole body was trembling but I managed to hold his face and caress it. This is probably the last time I will be able to get this close to him.
"Darling?" I called him which made him smile. This is the very first time I called him that and it fucking hurts that I only did it now.
I should have said that sooner, not now that in just a few moments everything between us will be cut off.
"Your darling makes me want to kiss you but it somehow gives me a chill."
"I love you, but Supremo... I think we should sto-"
I felt him pull me closer to him. "Darling, lets eat?" He offered.
I sobbed because I knew he already knew what I was going to say but he diverted it to something else. I have to do this.
"I am hurting too, the pain is too deep but Darling, I can hear anything just for you."
"But I can't do it for you." I answered bravely.
He paused slightly and I know he was hurt. DAMN! It really hurts, I wish I had done this sooner, I wish the pain was less... not now that the pain is deadly.
"Z-Zein? I'm getting scared of you."
I wiped the tears from my eyes and stared at him bravely. I almost felt weak when I saw his tears rapidly falling. OH.MY.GHAD!
"We can't be together. Maybe the fact that we loved each other is enough."
He tried to hold my hand but I quickly swatted it away.
"Darling, don't you love me? Why can't you trust me?"
"Yes, I do love you but I guess we are not meant to be." I closed my eyes to say something. "I am giving up. I am giving up this feeling. Sorry, I can't fight for this shit anymore." I quickly turned my back.
I had only taken one step when I felt his hug from behind me
"We haven't even started yet, you're ending it already."
I held his hand that was wrapped around my waist and caressed it. GHAD! I am so in love with this guy that I am willing to give him up for his sake.
"Darlin-"
"Stop calling me that way."
I felt his breath get heavy.
"Z-Zein? I'll give you another chance. If you take ten steps away from me, everything between us ends... but if you look back before reaching ten steps... you are mine, I will fight and challenge Death for you." I felt his grip on me loosen until I was able to break free.
Just ten step away from him... There is no more Supremo in my life.
One...
I don't know why but I feel like my feet have gotten heavier, finding it hard to take another step.
Two...
I closed my eyes and remembered all the times I was with Supremo. Starting from the first time I saw him until the first time he confessed.
"You know I can't do that... I'll give you another choice.. Be with me... Be mine... Be my everything... I'll give you my world.
Four..."
I know what I'm doing is wrong but this is what's right for everyone, for him. I can do it, I hope you can too.
Five...
"You don't need to be sexy. If I need to fatten you up and make you ugly so others won't look at you, I will do it. Damn, Zein. You are driving me crazy. And I must say... Thank you."
Damn! Why do all these memories have to come back? Everything is getting harder as time goes on and maybe if this goes on any longer I really won't be able to handle it anymore.
Six...
"I don't want to disobey you. I'm willing to gamble even my health just to follow you. You are my queen, and I am your knight, and I will eat anything for you."
Supremo is the type of person who gives everything when he loves. Everything until almost nothing is left for him. It's heartwarming but concerning.
He's willing to give up everything, he doesn't think about himself because it's always just you.
Seven...
"You don't need to fight, I will fight for you."
I smiled. I probably won't find anyone better than this guy. He is the man of every girl's dream. A perfect boyfriend.
Eight...
"You already took my heart, don't take it away."
FUCK!
"I love you more than who I am and what I have. Don't leave me breathless, darling."
Zein, just stay strong... only a few steps left... Supremo will be free.
Nine...
"Darling, I will always love you."
I stopped walking. I looked down and felt like I wanted to turn around and run back... if only I still had the strength,
"Zein? I want you to be happy, never be afraid to make a decision even if I am not included... I guess, it is really a goodbye for both of us. I love you, Zein."
Ten...
I love you, and it will always be you. Thank you for the love. Finally, I did it..