Chapter 68: "Sorry, My Mask Fell Off. I Didn't Scare You, Did I?"
March 7th tapped her chin, her bright eyes narrowing as she processed the frantic excuses spilling from the blue-haired man's mouth. A look of absolute triumph suddenly lit up her face.
"Oh—so you're actually a smuggler! And you're hiding in that snowbank because you offended the local authorities!" She clapped her hands together, thoroughly convinced she had cracked the case.
"Impressive, March! You actually managed to analyze all that!" Caelus gasped, his eyes widening in exaggerated awe as he flashed her an enthusiastic thumbs-up.
To extract such a complex narrative from just a few of Sampo's panicked sentences—she truly lived up to her self-proclaimed title of 'Senior Trailblazer.' Sure, she usually came across as a bit scatterbrained, but apparently, she possessed a hidden reservoir of reliability for critical moments.
"March, your deductive skills are incredibly solid," Stelle chimed in, nodding with genuine admiration. She hadn't read nearly that much into the stranger's rambling herself.
Leon simply stared.
Welt Yang pinched the bridge of his nose.
Dan Heng let out a quiet, long-suffering sigh.
And Sampo? Sampo just blinked, utterly dumbfounded by how easily his flimsy cover story had been accepted.
A biting gust of wind howled past them, kicking up a flurry of white powder. March 7th rubbed her arms, shivering dramatically. "Ugh, it's really cold here. A literal world of ice and snow."
Naturally, the pink-haired girl wasn't actually bothered by the freezing temperatures. As a Pathstrider, circulating the power of her Path to regulate her body heat was as easy as breathing. She just wanted an excuse to complain about the miserable weather.
"Well, that's because you're looking absolutely ice-olated, March!" Leon interjected smoothly, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Truly a chilling beauty!"
The temperature of the surrounding air seemed to plummet another ten degrees.
"Argh, Leon! Don't learn from 'Shut Up' and start telling dad jokes! It makes it even colder!" March 7th groaned, wrapping her arms tightly around herself as if physically assaulted by the pun.
Of all the things he could have picked up, he just had to learn those terrible, pun-based dad jokes from "Shut Up"—the Express's resident drink-mixing robot. He didn't even consider the atmospheric damage he was causing in a literal blizzard!
Welt rubbed his temples again, a heavy silence falling over him.
Dan Heng silently averted his gaze, refusing to acknowledge the joke.
Sampo's mouth twitched, utterly lost for words.
Welt exhaled slowly, deeply grateful he had decided to accompany the younger crew members to the surface. If he had actually allowed March to lead this expedition, heaven only knew what kind of apocalyptic chaos would have ensued by now.
Sampo, meanwhile, was internally screaming with disbelief. Was he actually going to get away with this? These three youngsters were almost painfully easy to fool. But the other three... The smuggler subtly swept his gaze toward Leon, a sudden, inexplicable chill of trepidation crawling up his spine.
"By common logic, March, your analysis is flawless," Leon drawled lazily. He stepped forward, casually but forcefully draping a heavy arm over Sampo's stiff shoulders. "But have you forgotten one tiny detail? We just fell out of the sky."
Leon's grip tightened just a fraction, pinning the smuggler in place. "Our good comrade Sampo here witnessed the entire spectacle of our little 'heavenly descent.' Do you honestly think someone who watched us crash-land from the stars would mistake us for the local Silvermane Guards?"
The logic was airtight. Stelle and Caelus blinked, processing the glaring plot hole in March's theory, before immediately switching sides.
"I knew Leon was right! This guy is definitely hiding something!" Caelus declared, experiencing his second sudden realization of the day.
"Speak!" Stelle demanded. With a sharp whoosh, she whipped out her trusty baseball bat, leveling the tip directly at the bridge of Sampo's nose. "What exactly is your goal? If you don't start talking, I'm going to shove this bat straight up your nostril!"
A single bead of cold sweat rolled down Sampo's temple. He swallowed hard, his eyes darting between the bat-wielding girl and the grinning man holding him hostage. These people... how did they act more like Masked Fools than he did?!
"Damn it! What are you trying to pull by intentionally approaching us? Confess right now!" March 7th puffed out her cheeks, trying her absolute hardest to contort her features into a fierce, intimidating glare. It was a valiant effort, but unfortunately, her inherently cute face completely neutralized any actual menace.
Realizing the situation had rapidly spiraled out of his control, Sampo subtly shifted his weight, preparing to slip away into the snowdrifts. Since his original script was completely busted, he might as well make a tactical retreat and draft a new one...
But just as his heel pivoted to flee, a sharp clatter echoed against the icy ground right at his feet.
Sampo froze. He looked down.
A mask.
A colleague's mask?
Wait. No. His pupils shrank to pinpricks. Why does this thing look exactly like the mask of the God of Mirth?
Sampo instantly broke into a full-body sweat. The masks worn by the Masked Fools were famously strange and endlessly varied, but the visage of Aha, the Aeon of Elation, was entirely distinctive. In all his years, Sampo had never seen a mortal possess a mask that perfectly replicated the true face of their laughing god.
"Ah, sorry about that. My mask fell out again." Leon chuckled softly. He leisurely bent down, scooped up the terrifying artifact, and casually stuffed it back into his pocket. He then gave Sampo's shoulder two firm, heavy pats. "Now then... you were just thinking of running away, weren't you?"
A threat! This is an absolute, obvious threat! Sampo's internal alarms were shrieking.
"N-No! How could that be?!" He threw his hands up in immediate, desperate surrender. "I, Sampo Koski, am completely loyal to you all! If you tell me to go east, I will never even look west! I'll do whatever you tell me to do, boss!"
Relying on the sharp eye that 'Old Sampo' had honed over years of shady business, he knew that mask was absolutely top-tier, genuine goods. It might even be a personal artifact from the Boss Himself. Could it be... was this man an Emanator of Elation, personally blessed by Aha?
Sampo discreetly extended his senses, probing the man for any trace of Path energy. He nearly choked on his own spit. Nothing. There wasn't a single drop of imaginary energy radiating from Leon. Damn it! To be able to hide the aura of a Path so flawlessly... could this actually be an avatar played by the God of Mirth Himself?!
The horrifying realization struck him like a physical blow. It's actually possible! Sampo was intimately familiar with Aha's chaotic track record. The Aeon had once literally hidden aboard the Astral Express just to masquerade as an Emanator of the Trailblaze for a laugh. Pulling the exact same prank a second or third time was entirely within His chaotic nature!
Oh, sweet mother of profit... If this man truly was the Boss in disguise, then Sampo had absolutely no choice but to follow his heart—and his heart was currently screaming at him to submit.
"Huh? Your attitude changed really fast. That's a bit suspicious..." March 7th leaned in, squinting at the suddenly subservient smuggler.
You're joking, right? Do I look like I dare to breathe out of line right now?! Sampo screamed internally, though he didn't dare let a single syllable of complaint slip past his lips.
"Look at what you're saying, miss! How would I ever dare to harbor any ulterior motives against such esteemed guests?" Sampo plastered on his most groveling, business-ready grin, rubbing his hands together obsequiously.
"Oh, Leon, you've completely scared him." March 7th sighed, her naturally kind heart softening at the sight of the trembling man. "Don't worry, we actually aren't bad people. I'm March 7th, from the Astral Express! This big meanie is Leon, but he's actually a pretty good person deep down..."
With her usual bubbly charm, she proceeded to introduce herself and the rest of the Astral Express crew.
"Alright, Sampo. Be a good tour guide and take them to Belobog," Leon instructed, his tone light but carrying an edge of absolute authority. "I'll be taking my leave first."
His heightened senses had already picked up the rhythmic crunch of heavy boots approaching through the snow. Gepard and his Silvermane Guards were closing in. Leon smiled faintly; he had zero interest in getting tangled up in a tedious fight with Belobog's rigid captain. Tormenting Sampo had already provided enough entertainment for one morning.
"Remember to be cautious with every step you take," Leon warned the crew, his gaze sweeping over the Trailblazers. "You still know very little about the true nature of this frozen world."
"Oh, don't worry about us! With the four of us here, what could possibly go wrong?" March 7th planted her hands on her hips, practically vibrating with confidence. She began ticking off their assets on her fingers. "Stelle and Caelus both have literal Stellarons inside them! I have my one-and-only Six-Phased Ice! And Dan Heng has... uh, a super mysterious and powerful past! If anyone dares to look for trouble with us, well, that's just their bad luck!"
"That's their bad luck!" Stelle immediately chimed in, nodding solemnly.
"That's their bad luck!" Caelus echoed in perfect, robotic synchronization.
"...How long have you two had this weird echoing symptom?!" March 7th groaned, slapping a hand over her forehead in exasperation. "Ugh, never mind! The Trailblaze journey fears no difficulties! Let's go!" She thrust her arm toward the sky, striking a heroic pose.
"The Trailblaze journey fears no difficulties! Let's go!" Stelle chimed in, perfectly matching her energy.
"The Trailblaze journey fears no difficulties! Let's go!" Caelus shouted right on cue.
"The Trailblaze journey fears no difficulties! Let's go!" Leon joined the chorus, a wide, amused grin splitting his face.
As soon as the battle cry faded into the freezing air, the four of them snapped their heads around in terrifying unison. Four pairs of expectant eyes locked onto the utterly silent trio of Dan Heng, Welt Yang, and Sampo.
Welt stared blankly.
Dan Heng looked like he wanted the snow to swallow him whole.
Sampo just pointed a trembling finger at his own chest. Wait... does this involve me too?!
"Sampo, why aren't you saying anything?" Leon raised a single, challenging eyebrow, his smile taking on a distinctly dangerous edge. "Do you not like our little motto?"
"Ahem!" Sampo cleared his throat violently, his survival instincts overriding whatever dignity he had left. He threw his fist into the air with forced, desperate enthusiasm. "The Trailblaze journey fears no difficulties! Let's go!"
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