Chapter 224: The Evil Cane Weirdo Dares to Disguise Himself as My Most Beloved Uncle Yang
[The Songstress of the Astral Express — Path: Trailblaze]
A few days later, the highly anticipated Wardance ceremony finally drew to a close.
Ultimately, the grand tournament devolved into an absolute chaotic civil war fueled entirely by the outrageous cheats Rekka had casually handed out. The final showdown took place between Yunli and Yanqing. Yet, for some inexplicable reason, the Luofu's prodigy refused to summon his newly acquired Sword Spirit Master. Whenever anyone brought it up during the post-match celebrations, the boy would flush red, avert his eyes, and hastily change the subject.
Nobody could figure out exactly what had transpired behind the scenes.
"Yeah, it really is strange," someone muttered.
Meanwhile, both Hook and Clara had put up valiant fights but were ultimately eliminated one after another by Yunli's overwhelming heavy sword.
"Yo~ Little March, Dan Heng, Stelle, Rozaliya, Liliya, and—Rekka! Did everyone have fun on the Luofu?"
Finally back within the familiar, cozy confines of the Astral Express, March 7th raised her arms high, letting out a long, satisfying stretch that popped her stiff shoulders.
She dropped her arms, a bright grin spreading across her face as she looked toward the older crew members. "So much crazy stuff happened! Sister Himeko, Uncle Yang, Pom-Pom, you guys definitely wouldn't believe half the things we went through down there."
March rubbed her chin thoughtfully, her eyes sparkling with leftover excitement. Her gaze suddenly drifted toward the corner of the parlor car. "Eh... come to think of it, what's going on with Little Blue Light and Hachimi?"
The humanoid True Stinger and the Mimic Rafflesia were slumped against the wall, twitching slightly. They seemed to be in a completely different, far more sluggish state than their usual energetic selves.
"Maybe they ate something of unknown origin..." Himeko sighed softly, shaking her head as she observed the two bizarre pets.
Rekka crossed his arms, staring at them suspiciously. 'But it shouldn't be those ancient beast fossils I had lying around, right?' he thought.
Ultimately, it remained entirely unclear what the two chaotic creatures had managed to shove into their mouths while no one was looking.
Meanwhile, Sunday sat quietly on one of the plush sofas, sipping a cup of tea. He had been staying on the Express the entire time they were docked. Since he was currently a highly wanted fugitive across the cosmos, it simply wasn't convenient for him to casually stroll out into public view.
In reality, the former head of the Oak Family had originally only planned to hitch a temporary ride and look around the universe. Yet, through a barrage of relentless, logic-defying arguments, he had somehow been completely talked into officially joining the Astral Express crew by Rekka.
Right?
Right.
Setting her coffee cup down on the saucer with a gentle clink, the navigator drew the room's attention. "There's something I need to tell everyone. Don't worry, there's definitely no terrifying conspiracy this time."
Himeko shook her head, a faint, reassuring smile gracing her lips.
"What is it?" Dan Heng asked, his tone level.
"Feel free to speak," Welt added, adjusting his glasses.
Himeko looked around at the younger members of the crew. "Do you guys—want to try out university life?"
"Are there 8 AM classes?" Rekka immediately blurted out, zeroing in on the single most critical, life-or-death question regarding higher education.
"Yeah, are there 8 AM classes?" March nodded vigorously in agreement, her expression turning dead serious.
Stelle turned her head, planting her hands firmly on her hips as she pointed an accusing finger at the two of them. "What right do you two have to talk about morning classes? You guys don't even wake up until nine anyway!"
Rekka immediately mirrored her posture, slapping his hands onto his hips in defiance.
Himeko chuckled, diffusing the brewing argument. "The Express received a formal invitation from Origami University, a prestigious academy located in Penacony."
"Oh~ so we're actually going to university?" March's eyes widened with curiosity.
"The school plans to organize a grand academic seminar related to the Path of Trailblaze, held at the Moment of Sol. They have invited the Astral Express to attend as their guests of honor," Himeko explained, her voice smooth and professional. "However, you can leave such tedious, formal activities to the adults to handle. Welt and I will participate in the seminar as invited. If you're interested, the rest of you can enter the university grounds as auditors."
Welt pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, the lenses catching the cabin lights. "You're all young people. You might as well enroll alongside the incoming freshmen, walk around the campus, and experience a proper slice of student life."
"I'm cooked, meow." Rekka instantly lost all strength in his legs, flopping face-first onto the carpeted floor in dramatic despair.
"Just how much trauma do you actually have regarding school?" March teased, poking his shoulder with the tip of her boot. "I remember you being quite happy when you shared your little school stories with everyone back then."
"Because the youthful days of school are strictly for reminiscing, not for actually returning to!" Rekka muffled into the carpet, wiggling back and forth like a fish violently thrown out of water. He turned his head to the side, catching his breath. "Although, I guess university is actually okay compared to the hellish days of high school before it."
"That's true..." March blinked, looking up at the ceiling as she tried to picture it. "Suddenly going to a real school and all... it feels a bit surreal."
"Auditors won't have a heavy academic load. The faculty and students are currently busy preparing for their upcoming festival anyway, so you can just treat it like attending a massive, extended party." Welt stepped forward. The tip of his cane—the Pseudo Star of Eden—lightly poked Rekka in the ribs. "However, Rekka. As the only one among the Express juniors who has actually received formal higher education, I have a special task for you. Once the auditor experience is over, I expect you to hand in a twenty-thousand-word thesis detailing your observations of Origami University to me."
Rekka's eyes snapped open in sheer, unadulterated horror.
'?! The evil cane weirdo is actually disguising himself as my most beloved Uncle Yang!'
"I can tell at a single glance that you're not the real Uncle Yang!" Rekka jumped up from the floor, pointing an accusatory finger at the older man. "You evil cane weirdo, how dare you pretend to be Uncle Yang!"
Duang.
The heavy, metallic thud of a cane striking a skull echoed through the parlor car. It made for a remarkably crisp, satisfying sound.
Welt lowered his cane, his expression completely unfazed by the assault. "You are not allowed to let the AI on your personal ship do it for you, nor are you allowed to let others ghostwrite it. The thesis must be completed entirely by yourself. And remember to follow the proper academic formatting."
Rekka rubbed the fresh bump on his head, his face entirely devoid of hope.
'...I'm cooked, meow.'
Welt sighed, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. "From now on, I'll allow you to speak like Otto in front of me."
"Oh, Uncle Yang, why didn't you say so earlier?" Rekka instantly stood up straight, brushing the dust off his clothes, his despair vanishing in a flash.
His mind raced, calculating the odds. A twenty-thousand-word thesis, with a deadline of about two weeks... anyway, as long as his daily cheat rolled the Path of Erudition just once within those fourteen days, writing a master-class thesis would be an absolute breeze.
It was statistically impossible not to get Erudition even once in two whole weeks. According to Rekka's own carefully kept statistics, the probability of the Path of Erudition appearing was actually quite high.
"So, what kind of place is Origami University exactly?" Stelle asked, tilting her head to the side as she gripped her trusty baseball bat.
"As the highest institution of learning in Penacony, Origami University's rigorous academic assessments and astronomically expensive tuition fees deter countless prospective candidates. Those who actually manage to enroll are either the scions of famous, wealthy merchants or exceptionally gifted talents." Dan Heng thought for a moment, crossing his arms before he answered. "Therefore, I've heard the overall campus atmosphere is also very... 'Penacony'."
"This is the official auditor enrollment guide sent by the school along with the invitation." Himeko retrieved a stack of glossy pamphlets, handing a booklet to each of them. "Although you don't need to take the official entrance exams, you still have to strictly follow their basic campus regulations. Auditors can freely choose elective courses based entirely on their own personal interests without needing to complete a set number of credits. However—"
She paused, tapping the cover of the guide. "Since you're going, you must at least select enough class hours to meet the minimum requirement, otherwise it will be considered an invalid audit."
"So literally any course is fine?...Wow, there are quite a lot of options," March muttered, flipping through the thick pages. "'Introduction to Dreamweaving Engineering', 'Introduction to Memoria'..."
"This time at Origami University, the Astral Express is attending as an officially invited guest. Although you are only enrolling as auditors, your every word and action represents the public image of the Express. So..." Himeko let the sentence hang, her gaze sweeping over the chaotic trio.
"We'll absolutely mind our manners!" Stelle answered quickly, standing at attention.
"That's not it." Himeko shook her head, the warm smile on her lips not fading in the slightest. "I wanted to say that the chaotic events of Penacony haven't been over for very long. Although our relationship with the Family seems perfectly fine on the surface, there definitely won't be a shortage of hidden eyes watching you from the shadows. Everyone, please pay a bit of extra attention to your personal safety."
The relaxed, jovial atmosphere in the carriage changed subtly, a brief wave of seriousness washing over the crew.
"Understood. I'll keep a sharp eye out," Rekka nodded, his playful demeanor dropping for a fraction of a second.
"I didn't mean it like that either." Himeko shook her head once more, her smile turning slightly exasperated. "Dan Heng, March, Rozaliya, Liliya. I need you guys to keep a very good eye on Rekka and Stelle."
"Sister Himeko, you don't trust me!" Rekka gasped, clutching his chest as if he had just been shot through the heart.
"Exactly, exactly! If you're assigning guards to watch Rekka, why do you have to drag me into it?" Stelle protested loudly, waving her bat in indignation.
"It's not that I don't trust you two; it's that I trust you entirely too much." Himeko smiled helplessly, pressing a hand to her cheek. "Stelle, and you too, Rekka—whenever the two of you get together, something massively destructive is absolutely bound to happen."
It was a universal law at this point. It was exactly like Hachivili meeting Ahachimi—pure, unadulterated chaos.
"Who told you to cause such a massive stir every single time we land on a new planet?" Himeko chuckled. "March, you keep him in check."
"Yes, ma'am! Guaranteed to complete the mission!" March giggled, snapping off a crisp, exaggerated salute.
It was only right for March to manage the Express's resident troublemaker.
"Hey! When have I ever actively looked for trouble?" Rekka protested, throwing his hands up in the air. "Isn't it always the trouble that magically finds me? I call this active self-defense; it's a righteous act of bravery!"
"Yes, yes, yes. Whatever you say." March reached out, mercilessly pinching his nose between her fingers. "So, our Express's greatest Mr. Deliverer, just be a good boy for once."
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