Chapter 96: The Ghost Postman's Peculiar Rules
"Sorry to disturb you."
Marisa took a deep breath, offered a quick, stiff bow, and backed out of the room. Just as she pulled the door shut and took a final step away, her foot found only empty air. With a soft poof, she plunged into a waiting Gap.
"Let me go! I—I didn't see anything!"
Seeing Haruto calmly walking toward her, Marisa completely panicked. She pressed her hands firmly against the solid ground of the hallway, struggling desperately to pull herself out of the tear in reality.
But whether the Gap was intentionally tightening around her or not, she was stuck fast, unable to move an inch.
'I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die!!'
Marisa felt as if a giant, blinking "DANGER" sign had materialized on her forehead. She kicked her legs frantically, using all her strength to push off the floorboards, but she still couldn't break free in the slightest.
Could it be... that she really couldn't escape the fate of becoming a closet decoration?
'Dammit—!!'
Just as she was wailing internally, her head was suddenly met with a sharp, though not particularly heavy, rap from Haruto's knuckles. The sting was enough to make tears well up in her eyes.
"Why did you hit me?" she yelped.
"Not sure," Haruto replied, his gaze strangely analytical. "But I have a feeling you were just imagining some very elaborate and rude scenario."
He widened the Gap just enough, grabbed the back of her collar, and lifted her out of the void like a scruffed kitten. He carried her all the way back into the room before setting her down on her feet.
"Don't misunderstand what you just saw," he warned, his voice low. "If any... report... about me and Reimu appears in tomorrow's Bunbunmaru Newspaper, your butt is as good as gone."
"I knew it!"
Marisa looked indignant, pointing a trembling finger at Haruto. Her expression screamed, 'You really are a pervert!'
"You guys...!"
Before she could finish her accusation, Haruto shot a meaningful look at Reimu.
The shrine maiden understood immediately. Her yin-yang orb flashed, transforming with a puff of smoke into the shape of a flyswatter.
"W-what do you guys want to do?!" Marisa squeaked, backing away while warily watching the two of them, ready to bolt at any moment.
But in the next second, Reimu had already flickered in front of her. The flyswatter smacked down hard against her rear.
"Waaaah—"
Marisa's eyes flew wide as her legs kicked out from the shock.
"When I said your butt is as good as gone, I meant Reimu would smack you hard," Haruto said fiercely, a wicked grin playing on his lips. He then signaled for Reimu to let her go. "After she's done, I'll use my boundary power to heal your wounds, and then she'll keep smacking."
"I was wrong!"
The instant she was free, Marisa dropped to her knees with a loud thud. Tears glistened in her eyes as she decisively, and loudly, surrendered.
Haruto simply ignored her theatrics. He took a laptop out of his Gap, connected to the network the kappa had set up, and accessed the outside world's internet. He surfed various forums for half an hour before finally unearthing a hidden little website. It was a link buried among some strange questions from a Tieba user; if it weren't for Haruto's experience in handling the web's underbelly, he never would have found it.
As for the website's name... it was called the New Humanity Evolution Alliance. It sounded deeply chuunibyou, giving off the distinct vibe of teenagers with delusions of world conquest.
Reimu and Marisa, their earlier conflict forgotten, huddled over his shoulder. They stared curiously at the screen, not understanding what Haruto was trying to do.
Just as Xie Lin had described, the services provided on the website were varied and bizarre. From Tracking Cards and Ghost Phones to all kinds of ghost artifacts, they had everything.
Beyond that, there were also various derivative services. Helping clear instances, hunting specified targets, or even ghost-slaying commissions; Haruto found things here he had heard of and many he hadn't.
He was quite interested in the ghost-slaying commissions. Logically, once a player cleared an instance, they shouldn't have to fear the ghosts inside anymore. Perhaps some players were worried about meeting them again in the future and wanted to pull them out by the roots.
Haruto recalled the resentful gazes of the ghosts from his first two instances. He disliked holding grudges overnight, but he disliked being the target of one even more. The first instance was fine; he had burned the opponent to cinders along with the entire house. But the ghost from the second Mermaid Instance hadn't been dealt with yet.
'Once Yukari steals half of that instance world's source power,'he mused,'I'll have her send me right back to kill it.'
Haruto clicked on a commission. The content was indeed similar to what he had guessed, with one crucial difference. The client was marked with something called a "Ghost Mark." As long as the ghost in question met the conditions to leave its instance, it could use this mark to track the player to their next one.
No one had taken this particular commission yet. He didn't know if it was because the task was too dangerous or the reward too low. Haruto suspected it was the latter.
Killing a ghost for a mere two hundred thousand? The cheapest ghost artifact he'd stumbled upon started at sixty or seventy thousand. It was hardly worth the risk.
Ignoring this interlude, Haruto continued to explore the website. Prices for ghost artifacts mostly fluctuated between 60,000 and 800,000. Perhaps the currency values of the two worlds weren't constant, as the prices were a bit lower than what Xie Lin had mentioned before.
Those cheap ghost artifacts, the ones worth sixty or seventy thousand, were mostly dilapidated. They could either be used only once or had extremely limited effects—the kind that were utterly useless for actually clearing an instance. In Haruto's view, they weren't even as good as the talismans Reimu casually refined. Hers could at least withstand a few more attacks.
As for the item that could bind an additional person to an instance, Haruto searched several times but couldn't find even a shadow of related information. He had to give up and place his hopes entirely on Xie Lin.
Thinking of this, he remembered the Ghost Phone Xie Lin had given him and took it out from his Gap. As soon as he turned it on, messages started popping up one after another.
Most were from unknown accounts. One, with a profile picture that looked like Xie Lin's, was probably from his alternate account. The message confirmed that a friend of his did indeed have such an item, that he had already obtained it, and that he had hired a "Ghost Postman" to deliver the package.
Besides this good news, a list of basic precautions was attached.
1. Refuse anonymous packages: If the sender's information looks wrong, you must ask the courier for clarification. If the courier is silent or gives an irrelevant answer, do not sign for it.
2. Only sign in person during the day: Ignore any delivery attempts at night and wait for redelivery. The hand-off must be in an open area during the day, never in a cramped space like a bedroom.
3. Do not say goodbye to it: Close the door immediately after signing for the package. Do not use any parting words.
4. No pleasantries: After signing, it is forbidden to say "thank you" or "good job." In their rules, this implies you are very satisfied with the service and are willing to "do it again"...
Looking at the dense list of rules, Haruto was speechless. It was just receiving a package; why were there so many paranoid regulations? It was purely a result of being spoiled by a system that catered to fear.
He gave the list a quick glance and closed the message.
Anyway, he was in Gensokyo now. He really didn't believe any of those ghostly things would dare to cause trouble for him here.
Still, he hadn't expected Xie Lin to actually get his hands on such a rare ghost artifact. It was a pleasant surprise.
Haruto had already made up his mind. As soon as the item arrived, he would immediately take Youmu with him to the previous instance.
Whoever dared to bare their teeth at him, he'd let Youmu breathe on them—no, he'd let Youmu cut them down with a single, decisive strike.
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