Recommended song: 'Last Night on Earth' by Green Day.
"Is something wrong? I heard you were suddenly stopping the shoot."
Hotohara Toru and Miyasako Hiroyuki were hesitating on how to respond to Hide, who had approached them asking why filming had been halted amidst the confused atmosphere.
"We won't ask about your personal life anymore. Even if we do, we'll avoid the sensitive parts. We believe that's the proper courtesy to show you, Hide-san."
"What?"
"And if you don't mind... could we use the footage we shot earlier?"
Hide couldn't quite understand why Hotohara and Miyasako were walking on eggshells, asking permission to air what had already been filmed.
"That's why we're filming, isn't it? Use it however you like."
Even as the cameras were set to roll again, Hide remained perplexed by the staff members who continued to cast cautious glances his way.
The filming of 'Ametalk!' resumed, though the once lighthearted atmosphere of the set now carried a noticeable weight.
"Do you ever find yourself missing your parents?"
Even in my past life, I had no parents. I grew up in an institution until I finished elementary school. I could have stayed until I was eighteen, but I left in my first year of middle school because I was taken in by the guitar teacher I had been pestering to teach me.
He was too young to be a father, so I called him 'Hyung' or 'Brother.' If anyone, I missed him. I didn't miss my biological parents. No matter how powerful the bonds of blood are said to be, to me, those people were strangers.
"I don't miss them. I have another family now."
"Another family...?"
"The members of Enfants Terribles, and Ai."
If my family in my previous life was that 'Brother,' then my family in this life consisted of the band and Ai. Isn't a family defined by those who are always on your side when things get hard? Despite the many truths I can never speak of, Ai and my bandmates were, without a doubt, my family.
"Oh? Looking at your middle school records, it seems you barely attended classes back then?"
"I was a drifter back then. I'd wander off to look at the ocean by myself, sleep in the mountains—I think I just did a bit of everything."
"Was there a reason you wandered like that?"
I think the 'me' of this life wanted to find a reason to live. To be precise, I think I was wandering to find someone similar to myself. Though, of course, all I found were 'low-tier eccentrics' just pretending to be twisted.
"I think I was searching for the meaning of life. And a place where I belonged. For some reason, the uncle who was raising me vanished, and I didn't have anywhere else to go."
"Ah... and did you find your answer?"
"Unfortunately, I don't think I found it back then."
Truthfully, that was where my memories ended. I don't know if the 'me' from that time ever found the answer. I get the feeling that I had been frustrated with the world and had decided to seek some kind of nirvana, but since that 'me' and the current 'me' are different entities, I can't be sure.
"Then that implies you've found it now?"
"I've found it now. Living peacefully beside the person I love—that is the purpose and meaning of my life."
"Oh... are you proposing to Ai-chan indirectly right now?"
"Well, let's just say that's the case."
Now that we were lovers, I had absolutely no intention of losing Ai to some other punk. Since our relationship had come this far, the ending was already set in stone.
"I'd have to ask for Ai's opinion first, but if I'm going to start a family, I think it would be nice to have a son and a daughter."
Having never known a proper home, my desire for a happy family was immense. I am a man confident that I will become the ultimate devoted husband and doting father, more than anyone else.
"In that case, shall we move on to the stories after you graduated middle school?"
From this point on, the questions touched upon the memories I had built in this world—the ones that truly defined me. The memories of the struggle to form a band in a world without rock, eventually conquering the Billboard charts. Memories that were uniquely mine.
"I love instruments. Especially the guitar. But I realized people didn't know the beauty of a guitar's sound. So, I just grabbed a guitar and went out to play on the streets."
"So that was the birth of Hide the musician?"
"Yes, exactly. When people started coming out near the universities, I'd go in front of closed shops, parks, or back alleys to play the guitar and sing. There are probably records of it still on the internet. People dating while holding hands, others having a drink with my music as a side dish... I have many fun memories from then."
Financially, it was much harder than it is now, but a smile touched my lips as I recalled those days when I stood on the streets with nothing but a guitar. The days when I played freely for just a few people and received their applause.
"Those must be very happy memories for you. Your expression was quite stiff until a moment ago, but seeing you brighten up like this makes even me feel how overwhelming those emotions must have been."
"Ah, it was also around that time that I met Ai."
"So you met her long before Enfants Terribles was even formed?"
"Yes, that's right."
In truth, very little had been revealed to the public about Ai and the band. This was because all the members of Enfants Terribles, wary that their 'bad boy' image might negatively impact B-Komachi, had refrained from speaking in detail.
"Well then! Shall we talk about your romance?!"
"What was your first impression?"
"She was a brat who looked incredibly lonely. Honestly, I was struggling just to keep myself afloat at first, so I tried to ignore her... but I found that I just couldn't."
When I first saw Ai, she was a girl desperately trying to hide her emotions behind a mask. A kid trying to act tough, pretending to be bright to conceal her inner 'void'—that was the Ai I first met.
"Eh??! Surely her looks played a part too?"
"Ai is certainly beautiful. She has a face that would definitely make a name for itself in Hollywood. But it wasn't for that reason. I just suddenly had the thought that if I didn't help that girl who looked so much like me, she would live her entire life in loneliness before just fading away."
"According to the article in 'The Sun,' Ai-chan's family history wasn't exactly bright either. Perhaps you instinctively recognized the same pain, having gone through a similarly bleak childhood?"
The reason people had been so enraged by 'The Sun' was that they hadn't just reported on the dating rumors; they had gone as far as digging up and exposing Ai's private family history as they pleased.
"Maybe that was it. Back then, my only thought was that I had to fill that void within her."
"And that somehow turned into love?"
"I'd call it fate rather than 'somehow.' It started as a relationship meant to fill her void, but in the end, I was the one receiving comfort from her."
As I answered the questions, I visualized the scene of Ai and me bickering while sitting in front of a convenience store. Me, buying her Häagen-Dazs with trembling hands, and her, teasing me while secretly sharing that same ice cream with me.
"So rather than falling in love at first sight, you fell deeper and deeper as time went on?"
"Yes, that's right. And I have no intention of ever pulling myself out of it."
At my words, the female staff members observing from the side of the set began to blush, pressing their hands to their cheeks as if they were the ones receiving a confession.
"Hide-san, your casual flirting skills are incredible!"
"Hey! Staff! Get fluttered by my comments too!"
""Hotohara-san, your face compared to Hide-kun's...""
The heavy atmosphere that had filled the studio during the interview about Hide's past shifted back to its original warmth as the topic turned fully toward his lover, Ai.
"By the way, who confessed first?"
That was a bit of a gray area... Ai was the first to show her feelings as a woman, but I was the one who suggested we become a couple.
"I did."
"Oooh! Can you tell us the words you used?"
As the MC finished speaking, everyone on set began to look at me with eyes full of anticipation. But there really wasn't much to it. It was just a plain line that anyone would use.
"'Hoshino Ai, please go out with me.' It was just something like that."
The moment the words left my mouth, squeals and cheers erupted from the staff.
"Ooh!!! So did Ai-chan accept immediately??!"
"Yes, she did."
"How did you feel in that moment?"
"Truthfully, it's a bit fuzzy now... but I was stunned and felt damn good. Good enough that I wrote a song the very next day."
'Last Night on Earth,' a song I wrote the day after we started dating, inspired by a dream, was an absolute masterpiece.
"Has that song been released?"
"Unfortunately, it's only in my head."
"Has Ai-chan heard it?"
"Ah... I haven't played it for her yet...? We've both been so busy since then that I think I just missed the opportunity."
"Then let's hear it during the ending stage!!!!"
I felt a bit like I was being baited, but since I had to play it for Ai anyway, it wasn't a bad suggestion.
"What specifically do you love about Ai-chan?!"
"I'm just happy when I'm with her. She's the only one who makes me feel like I can truly exist as 'myself.' I tend to overthink things, but when I'm with Ai, it feels like all my problems just resolve themselves."
"Wow.... This guy is really far gone..."
"Look at him! This man is completely whipped! Just talking about her, and his eyes are dripping with honey!!"
As I answered the questions, the two MCs teased me with indulgent grins.
"Then what do you do while you're on tour? Seeing how you are now, it looks like you'd be dying to see her??!"
"We call and text a lot. You can assume I'm constantly texting her whenever I'm in the hotel."
"Man!! Just get married!! Get married already!!"
Upon hearing about my life in the hotel rooms—details previously unknown to the public—the two MCs grabbed my shoulders and shouted with genuine sincerity for us to get married.
"By the way, does Ai-chan get jealous? Judging by the way you act, it doesn't seem like she would?!"
"Ah, she does. Of course, I try my absolute best not to give her any reason to... but I'm not very good at understanding a woman's heart."
"Then how does Ai-chan show her jealousy?"
"Actually, it shows on her face immediately. She gets this pouty expression. And whenever she's jealous, she always crosses her arms."
Hide broke into a gentle smile as he answered the MCs, vividly picturing Ai's jealous state in his mind.
"How do you feel when Ai-chan is jealous?"
"She's cute. And it feels damn good."
Laughter erupted throughout the studio at my reaction. Wait, why? Isn't that normal?
"Alright then! Could you give us a little taste of the song you wrote with Ai-chan in mind? They do say that a composer's sincerity is poured into their music!"
At that, the PD quickly brought over the guitar that had been set aside. Normally, I would have firmly declined, but perhaps because of the atmosphere or because the topic was the person I loved, I couldn't say no.
'Last Night on Earth' was a song that organized the emotions I felt after my feelings for Ai were fully solidified during our trip to the hot springs. To put it simply, it was a love song.
As the song continued, everyone in the studio wore happy, indulgent smiles—perhaps because of the melody, or perhaps because the lyrics made them reminisce about their own youthful loves.
After the song, the heavy air never returned to the set. Even though it was a television recording, everyone there resonated with the guest's story with pure sincerity.
Even in the entertainment industry, a world built on cold business and calculation, they couldn't help but respond with their hearts to the story of two teenagers dreaming of a future together after finding their life partners.
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