Saturday Night Live. It is America's flagship live stand-up comedy program where giants from every field—ranging from sports icons to presidential candidates—participate in comedic sketches to entertain the masses.
And naturally, Enfants Terribles, appearing as guests on SNL, were also taking part in the comedy acting. However, there was one glaring problem: their acting was utterly abysmal.
Compared to any other guest who had ever appeared on the show, the acting of Enfants Terribles was overwhelmingly horrific.
Watching the spectacle from backstage, Andy Samberg, one of the SNL crew members, let out a deep sigh.
"Ha... I had high hopes because they're superstars, but they're total amateurs."
The other crew members nodded at Andy Samberg's words as they watched the members of Enfants Terribles break out in cold sweats on stage, struggling through their lines.
"H.O.L.Y S.H.I.T."
They had memorized the script—but that was all they had done. Their vocal tones were purely robotic, and their usual swagger was nowhere to be found; they were sinking helplessly under the weight of the cast's ad-libs.
Of course, the scripts themselves weren't bad, having been written by veteran writers who were the best in the business, but the reception was lukewarm at best thanks to the band's atrocious acting.
"I came here expecting a lot since it's Enfants Terribles..."
"Just set the set on fire or something, like you usually do..."
The concept of the sketch was that the crew would end up getting the better of the band members, who were supposed to be causing a chaotic ruckus on the SNL set. While the beautiful blonde youth managed some decent back-and-forth and integrated into the play, the rest of the members' acting was a disaster.
"That... why is that madman so quiet today?"
The bald, mad scientist bassist, who usually represented the peak of the band's lunacy, seemed to have zero talent for acting, his performance coming off as awkward and clumsy.
"Well, still... they're Enfants Terribles. The ratings should still be high..."
"I expected more from the symbols of counterculture, but this is way too bland."
SNL crew members Andy Samberg and Bill Hader stood up from their seats, disappointed by how ordinary Enfants Terribles seemed to be.
While SNL tradition involves a musical performance in addition to the sketches, Andy and Bill weren't looking forward to the band's stage at all.
No matter how much Enfants Terribles were the superstars dominating the current pop scene, their actual presence in person was nothing short of a letdown.
Honestly, they didn't feel like superstars at all.
Despite following the SNL tradition of heading toward the stage to welcome the band, Andy Samberg and Bill Hader wore indifferent expressions.
"I honestly thought they'd have wings or something if I saw them in the flesh..."
"They say the music is killer, though."
"It's the bare minimum for a singer to sing well. Isn't singing well just the basic requirement for a musician?"
Even so, Andy Samberg had zero expectations. He viewed them through the same lens as any other generic musical guest.
'Their expressions changed?'
Andy realized that the faces of the Enfants Terribles members had brightened.
'I guess their real job is different?'
It was common for singers to undergo a change in expression once they gripped a microphone. However, the smiles on the faces of Enfants Terribles felt qualitatively different from those of other artists.
'Is it just me, or does it feel like there's a halo behind them?'
And unlike the awkwardness they displayed during the comedy sketch, a charisma that seized the attention of the room began to radiate from the muscular mixed-race drummer and the bald bassist.
The sight of Yokishi spinning his sticks with powerful muscular precision and Shuji tuning his bass with a cigarette clamped between his lips was undeniably sexy and cool, even to another man.
The moment the blonde youth screamed, utilizing a raw vocal fry, the atmosphere of the SNL set transformed completely.
A cool, savage sound that felt as if it were piercing through their eardrums spiked into their ears.
Then, the vocals cut out. As the singing stopped, the other instruments began to harmonize, centered around a guitar tone thick with heavy distortion.
The powerful harmony of the instruments whispered the allure of the song to the crew members on the SNL stage.
"Holy... shi..."
Hide, the leader of Enfants Terribles, was already famous for his vocal prowess. But the vocal support provided by Yokishi and Shuji behind him was something like a mythical beast, usually only witnessed at their massive concerts.
Andy Samberg and Bill Hader were paralyzed with shock by the sudden shouting coming from the drummer and bassist.
'What was with that pathetic display until just a moment ago? How can people change this much so suddenly?'
They had thought they couldn't feel the aura of a star. However, the presence Enfants Terribles commanded on stage now was leagues apart from their clumsy attempts at comedy.
The King.
The charisma emanating from them was the mark of true superstars.
A massive pressure began to weigh down the SNL stage.
As the song reached its climax, Andy Samberg felt something warm in his pants.
'Ah, I just wet myself.'
There was only one sentiment remaining.
Instinct began to whisper to his reason.
[You son of a bitch! Put this song on your iPod right now!]
Andy Samberg unconsciously glanced at Bill Hader beside him. Bill was already downloading the song.
It was enjoyable and exciting. It wasn't overly complex, either.
At the same time, it felt as if it were exploding through something that had been clogged deep within his chest.
Only after seeing them perform did the two of them understand why Enfants Terribles were called the stars who ruled the era.
.
.
.
.
"Catch them!! What are you doing!!"
For the record, drunk on the thrill, Enfants Terribles concluded the stage by setting the bass on fire using a lighter while simultaneously performing a drum dismantling show.
To be precise, they were ripping the drums apart and compressing them flat through sheer physical strength.