The place we walked into, hand-in-hand, was a handmade burger joint near Central Park with a distinctly Gothic atmosphere. Being a famous spot, the walls were lined with photos of celebrities—many of whom I had just seen at the Grammy Awards—proving they had visited.
'But when are you going to let go...?'
Ai showed no intention of pulling away from me. If anything, as time passed, she wore a mischievous grin and pressed her body even closer to mine. She certainly had a streak of doing things at her own tempo before we left for America, but calling her a free spirit now was an understatement.
"Ai, aren't you going to let go?"
"I can't help it! It's too cold out! (≧∇≦)"
That smile... she was definitely teasing me. Judging by that impish look and the way she was subtly trying to link her arm with mine, she was absolutely enjoying this.
"We're indoors, you know."
"Hmph, Hide's such a party pooper. ╭( •̀ •́ )╮"
A party pooper...? Usually, people only did this kind of thing if they were a couple. And we weren't a couple, nor were we even in that vague 'something' stage. I didn't know exactly what Ai thought of me, but to me, she felt almost like a daughter—and to any outsider, we probably just looked like friends.
"Ai, you should only do things like this with someone you actually like."
"Then it's okay for me to do it with Hide, right?"
Wait, what did I just hear? I felt like I had stepped into territory I wasn't supposed to enter. What on earth was that supposed to mean?
"Excuse me... you two... are you ready to order?"
The host's words effectively sank my train of thought. 'You two'—or rather, the way he looked at us as a couple. Did we really look like a couple to everyone else?
After leaving the burger joint, we decided to follow our usual tradition and take a walk through Central Park. Even though it was late, Central Park remained a hallmark of New York tourism, and plenty of couples were strolling along the paths, hands tightly clasped.
We were no different, walking through Central Park with our hands joined. For the record, holding hands was definitely not my idea.
'Click-clack.'
With every step, I heard the sharp sound of high heels striking the pavement.
Wait, high heels...? To solve the question nagging at my brain, I looked down. Ai was wearing high heels with a height that didn't quite suit her age.
"Ai, did you seriously wear high heels to Central Park?"
This wasn't a formal event, and walking on unpaved, rough paths in heels was a recipe for disaster. I felt mindless for not noticing sooner. The reason Ai had been leaning against me all day was likely because her feet were miserable.
"Why did you wear these? I told you we'd be walking a lot today. Didn't your feet hurt?"
I knelt down and looked straight into Ai's eyes, my expression serious. We weren't supposed to be like this—the kind of people who walked on eggshells and hid our [sincerity] from each other.
"..."
Ai squeezed her eyes shut at my question, hesitating for a moment. Then, with a look of newfound resolve, she slowly opened her mouth.
"I wanted to look like an adult... At the Grammys, it seemed like you liked that kind of style..."
I let out a heavy sigh and closed my eyes. Ai was throwing her [sincerity] at me with everything she had. Meanwhile, I had been brushing it off, treating it like a temporary fever every young person goes through. But her [sincerity] was not something that could be dismissed so easily.
The girl who lived a life of lies told nothing but the truth to me. And I wasn't cold-hearted enough to ignore that.
"There's a shoe store nearby. Let's go change into something else."
I took Ai's hand and headed straight out of Central Park toward a nearby shop. Ai seemed taken aback by my sudden reaction.
To me, Ai was precious. She was someone I would gladly welcome regardless of how she looked.
"Hide, I'm really okay! My feet don't hurt at all!"
Ai gave me an awkward smile, trying her best to pretend she was fine. Seeing her like that only made the guilt heavier.
Ai had been just as anxious as I was since that kiss. I could infer that much just from her reaction now. This timid, fragile girl was terrified that her [sincerity] would be ignored or that she would be thrown away.
"Still, no. Central Park is no place for heels."
As soon as we entered the store, I grabbed a pair of women's sneakers, made Ai sit on a chair, and knelt before her. I pulled off her heels and slid the sneakers onto her feet myself. I wanted my actions to convey my [sincerity]—that she didn't need to be afraid.
[Sincerity] is often delivered more effectively through actions than words.
"You look pretty even without heels. In fact, you were always precious to me, regardless of what you wore."
"...."
"I'm not talking to 'Idol' Ai right now. I'm talking to 'Human' Ai. You don't have to try so hard to sparkle in front of me. I'm being shy and talking in circles, but this is the conclusion."
In truth, expressing [sincerity] directly was awkward for me too, and I was barely managing to calm my racing heart.
Even so, I had to keep going. The words I was about to say were things I had wanted to tell this lonely girl for a long time. I couldn't stop now.
Even if these words changed our relationship forever.
"I promise I'll always stay by your side."
I slowly approached her, met her gaze, and pulled her into a hug. The girl who had been trembling with the fear that her feelings would be rejected buried her face in my chest and began to sob uncontrollably.
The 'liar girl' had finally achieved her long-held dream. I could say that with certainty, because now she could exist not just as an 'idol,' but as a 'human' as well.
"But I'm a liar... and a coward... and... and..."
"I already know. I'm telling you this knowing all of that."
The [emptiness] within the girl no longer existed.
She finally understood what [love] was, thanks to the man who told her she was precious even while knowing every side of her.
.
.
.
.
Wait, did her legs really not hurt? They were quite high; there was no way they didn't.
"Your legs actually hurt, didn't they?"
"They hurt so much! ☆"
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