"Leader, is this for real???! These sons of bitches..."
Shuji, our bald bassist, was turning a shade of tomato red as he erupted in raw fury. We were in the middle of our US tour, and naturally, we had stopped by a broadcasting station to perform a live set.
"Japan, America... they're all the same."
"Hey, man, does this make any sense? Do they not know about the absolute chaos we caused in Japan?"
I let out a heavy sigh. Beside me, Yokishi, our muscular mixed-race drummer, was clicking his tongue and shaking his head in disbelief.
The program we were scheduled for was a music show that introduced pop hits through live performances. Like similar shows in Korea, it was a straightforward format—no rankings or winners, just a space to promote yourself, sing your song, and head out.
Usually, a band earns far more from tours than broadcasts, so TV appearances are strictly for promotion. The problem was that for one of our few promotional slots in the US, they had demanded we 'hand-sync.'
Since this was America and not Enfants Terribles' home turf, I thought we could endure it just this once.
"God dammit..."
"We're not fucking clowns."
We were livid. We had explicitly demanded a live set from the station, and they had agreed to it. That was the only reason we were here.
In the end, we went through with a 'lip-synced' performance consisting of hand-syncing. We played air guitar and bobbed our heads like goldfish while pre-recorded tracks filled the air. Having just finished a stage like that, our anger was entirely justified.
We are a rock band. For a rock band, 'chaos' is practically a part of our identity. With a voice edged in irritation, I asked Miyazaki Makoto, who was currently acting as our manager, for the date of our next broadcast appearance.
"When is the next broadcast scheduled?"
We were being ignored like this because we hadn't caused enough of a scene. As I thought—a rock band only gets respected when they start breaking things.
Even though it was 5:00 AM, Ai hadn't gone to sleep. She was fighting off the drowsiness with coffee, something she didn't usually drink. The reason was simple: she wanted to see Hide's appearance on the American show.
They say people change once they get a taste of the US, but she had been shocked to see Enfants Terribles hand-syncing and lip-syncing during the previous broadcast.
'Hide, please just get through today quietly without any trouble! (*´∪`)'
As the broadcast began, Enfants Terribles appeared as the very first act. But that look on his face... it felt familiar.
'Wait... that...? I feel like I've seen that expression somewhere before...'
As the music started, Shuji-san began playing blatant air guitar. Not only that, he took one hand off the instrument to chow down on candy while flipping off the camera.
"Wait... why does this feel like deja vu?"
A scene she had tried to suppress—a memory so shocking it had been pushed to the back of her mind—began to resurface. The sight of a bodybuilding competition, a grotesque dance performance, and microphone-eating happening all at once on stage.
'Wait... Hide, it's a lip-sync! Are you even allowed to use your voice?!'
Even Hide, whom she trusted, was now singing lyrics that had absolutely nothing to do with the backing track. Of course, he was liberally peppering in the word 'Fuck' between every other line.
Fortunately, this time a PD was sprinting onto the stage to stop the mayhem. The problem was that Shuji-san sent the PD flying off the stage with a clean uppercut.
"If you ever pull that lip-sync, hand-sync bullshit on us again, we'll turn the place upside down!"
"You call goldfish mouth-flapping a 'live' show? Eat this!"
All three members of Enfants Terribles held up their middle fingers to the camera, as if greeting her personally.
'Well... at least they look healthy... is that a relief...?'
As that thought crossed her mind, the coffee she had been holding in her mouth began to dribble out. The 'status update' Enfants Terribles had sent to Ai was, in every sense of the word, a total disaster.
.
.
.
.
.
In American broadcasting, which had been full of docile sheep due to the absence of real rock bands, an unprecedented incident had occurred. Following Enfants Terribles' completely unhinged broadcast, they became the number one topic of debate across the country.
- What is this Asian kid doing being so arrogant?
- As long as the song is good, who cares? Honestly, can you even call someone a singer if they just flap their lips to a recording?
- This is an insult to America! We should make this a diplomatic issue!!
- Bullshit. If this is a diplomatic issue, is my successful bowel movement this morning also a diplomatic issue?
A true star is meant to make both fans and haters lose their minds.
And sometimes, they make fellow stars lose their minds, too.
[The Emperor of Pop, Michael Jackson! Proposes a Collaboration Stage to Enfants Terribles!]
Regardless of their own intentions, Enfants Terribles was hurtling toward becoming the icons of the era.