I dream. I dream like anyone else does. But I dream a lot. I don't know if that's like a problem or anything, I've never gotten it checked by doctor or a therapist or anyone for that matter. I mean why would I? But I do dream a lot, even at times when I shouldn't. Maybe it's a sleep paralysis thing or maybe it's just my insomnia, I don't know. But what I do know is that these dreams aren't like any other, my dreams are real. Not that they feel 'so real' or any of that bullshit. My dreams actually are real. Or so I think. I find some sort of solace in the theory that dreams are just lives we live in a parallel universe.
I also think a lot. I often think about death, and whatever follows after. Belief in a god has always been a difficult topic for me, mostly because I consider myself a self-proclaimed 'man of science', and if you know even the least bit of science, then you know science truly believes that 'God' is just a made up deity.
I practiced catholicism in my early life but got over it pretty quickly. I, then, explored other religions for personal satisfaction but nothing seemed to pull me. My disbelief in the 'lord almighty' strengthened even more when I realised that all my life I had been praying to a god who never answered. I never got anything I ever prayed for, and so the act of praying felt like I was calling out for help to no one. I was scared of living a life so hell-bent on various religious restrictions and limitations, only for none of it to be true at the end. And then I thought about all the suffering and desolation all over the world. Why would God not help his people? Does he not care about us? Or is he too busy killing newborn babies, taking innocent lives with cancer and ruining countless others with natural disasters that he sends?
So although the crucifixion of Jesus, or the splitting of the red sea, or achieving nirvana, or the seal on Muhammad's back never sparked an interest in me, I was still hopeful for one thing in particular.
From all that I have just now stated, it is clear that 'life after death' automatically becomes an idea oblivious to my own beliefs. But I'm a guy who's very scared of death and the only way to overcome that fear is to rest my faith in the idea of hereafter. I know that as a non-believer it sounds ridiculous to still believe in an afterlife but it helps me sleep at nights that I think about death. But sometimes even sleep becomes hell because of my dreams. I probably am the only person in the entire world who dreams these wild things. I wonder how me in all these other universes is capable of dealing with these things on a daily basis.
But now as a giant, almost hundred feet wall towers over me in this desolate whiteness, I ask myself, "What parallel universe could this be?". I don't know how to describe this place full of white; as far as I can see, it's all white. It's like a concealed room but without a roof or walls, only a floor which also cannot be seen but it's clear that it's there because i'm standing on it, and when I say 'it cannot be seen', I don't mean to say that it's invisible but instead its so white that you can't tell it's there. Applying that logic, one could also say that the roof and the walls must also be there, just invisible to the naked eye or maybe too white to be seen. Well, I checked by running in each direction and found nothing, and as for the roof, I guess we'll never know because as much as it upsets me to say this; I cannot fly. If you're wondering why I'm saying there are no walls in here while simultaneously standing in front of one, then i'm wondering the same thing. But this isn't the wall of a room, rather a wall placed within the area i'm in.
I decided to go left to see where the wall led to, but as expected it went on forever. So I turned my back and went that way. This time, however, as it turns out, the wall wasn't infinite. I have come by an opening in the wall. When I look inside, all I see is another wall and i'm guessing it's going to be the same thing again. So now it seems that I have found myself a participant of a maze. At least, it's better than walking around aimlessly, and who knows maybe when I reach the end I might wake up and get to leave this place, which would be my pot of gold at the end of this rainbow.
I remember I once heard someone say,"Always go left in a maze". I have no clue why or how it's effective but apparently it is. Well, random person who told me that, my fate lies in your hands. I take a left to begin my long walk. After some time, I realise that I have been walking for the past ten minutes without any progress in sight. Now i'm questioning that random stranger's logic behind going left. Maybe he just said it without putting any prior thought. Maybe he was drunk when he told me that… or high. Maybe I was drunk or high when I heard him tell me that. I don't know.
"I think it's pointless to turn back so I'll keep walking", I tell myself with a glimmer of hope that I may find something. I already feel exhausted, but not because i'm being overworked but because just walking is boring. Still I keep walking and…
WAIT!
I SEE IT IN A DISTANCE
THE NEXT OPENING
I'M HERE!
I clench my fists and my teeth and my jaw and I run like i've never ran before to the next opening. I don't know why i'm running with so much energy, this probably is just the first of many, but I guess it still is something; like they say,"something is better than nothing".
Now, finally at the opening, I begin to realise how pointless that sprint was. Fortunately, i'm not tired or thirsty or anything. Now that I think about, it's like I have infinite stamina, I don't think i'll ever get tired. That's most definitely a good thing because if anything's certain, it's that i'll have to walk a hundred more kilometres to reach the end of this god-forsaken maze. This much white is going to make me sick.
Following the blessed advice, I take a left once again but a few steps in and i'm met with a wall. Hmm… maybe not always left. So I turn back and head that way expecting a better result. As I stroll towards the next opening, I see something. I can't exactly make out what it is but I know it's there. I can see that it's red-ish in colour and it feels like it's moving, but in its place. My curiosity peaks and I run once again, expect this time for a reasonable reason, that is to investigate this unidentified object.
Each passing second brings me closer to this object, and is it does this 'unidentified' object becomes more and more identifiable. It is a burning flame of red colour. Not as astonishing as I was expecting it to be, but hey, at least it's next to the opening. Before leaving, I investigate the burning flame but nothing makes sense. It is unclear how this flame set ablaze or why it's red in colour. It's as if the air set on fire by itself and for some reason burned red. I know enough science to know that a chloride of strontium is what produces this kind of flame but I also know that strontium doesn't randomly appear in the air and set on fire by itself. But then again, I also know that i'm in a dream and anything can happen in my dreams. I actually find it humorous that I am aware whenever i'm in a dream because most people say that they are not. Many don't even remember their dreams, whereas I remember every dream i've ever had.
Unable to understand the complexities of the burning flame, I move on but I won't forget about it. It's not like I have a choice anyway. On my right I find a wall, so obviously I go left. I spot yet another flame next to an opening, this time burning with orange colour.
This flame is exactly the same as the precious one except for the colour. I ignore this as well and move on. But once again, to my left I find a wall and to my right another flame with an opening next to it. This flame is yellow in colour.
This maze has to be one of the worst mazes in the existence, except it's not in existence. How do you even call a series of lefts and rights a maze? A two year-old could do better than this.
But I do want to leave this place so I go left to a green flame, then right to a blue flame, then left again to a very… dark purple flame? I didn't even know purple flames were possible. Huh. Then I go right again to a lighter purple flame. Now i'm pretty sure I've seen this colour of flame in a chemistry lab before, but the last one was a first for me. Then I go left again to a- Wait. There's no flame. The maze is over.
I look back but there's nothing now. Like nothing was ever there in the first place. But I know that dumb maze with the colourful flames was just there a second ago. Well at least, I have now reached the end of my rainbow- Wait. The colours of the flame. It was a red flame, then an orange flame, then a yellow flame, then a green flame, then a blue flame, then two purple flames. These are the colours of an actual rainbow; red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. Now this is what I call an immersive experience. But I still haven't gotten my pot of gold.
I keep walking forward, because what else can I do? As i'm walking I notice a railway track appear to my right, and it goes behind me.
I swear it wasn't here before, or maybe I just wasn't paying attention. I hope this is my way out, but like everything else, this track also seems to be going on forever. So again, I don't think much of it and keep walking forward, because what else can I do?
I walk and I walk until I reach a separation between the railway track. This new path comes towards me and separates to my left.
Oh no!
There's people tied on each track. I can see five tied on the track going behind me and five on the separated path. Everyone is dressed in a white attire and has a white coloured sack mask over their heads, hiding their faces entirely. I also spot a lever to switch the path of a train to the next track.
This is the setup for a classic trolley problem except there's no trolley in sight.
I feel compelled to untie these people and let them free, so that's what I try to do. Except as soon as I reach the first person, another person appears out of thin air. He's dressed in a nice white three-piece suit and instead of a face he has nothing. There is a face, but it's all white and has no ears, no eyes, no mouth, no nose, no nothing.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you", he warns me. I am surprised hearing him speak without a mouth.
"Who are you?".
"You don't have to worry about me".
"Yeah? And why is that?".
"You have to worry about making a choice".
"What choice?".
"The choice of who lives and who doesn't".
I could tell where this was going but I didn't want to believe it.
"But there's five people on each track, what difference does it make if I pull the lever".
"Well, if you do not pull the lever, the train will hit and kill these innocent people. But if you do pull the lever, the train will divert to this track and kill these five people instead. The only difference here is that these five people have murdered at least one person in their lives. But if you do pull the lever, don't you also become one of them. So, what will it be? You have ten seconds before the train arrives".
I know I have to pull the lever to kill the murderers instead, but something's holding me back. Maybe it's what he said; that if I do pull the lever i'm no less of a murderer myself.
"Five"
"Four"
I can hear the train coming, it's very near and coming at a very high speed. What do I do?
"Three"
"Two"
Without giving it another thought, I pull the lever and change the train's path.
"One"
The train whooshes past me killing the five murderers on the spot and the mysterious man disappears. There's no blood or anything, like the people were dolls.
The decapitated head of one of them flys and rolls over to my feet. Something tells me to unmask the head.
So I pick it up and hold it in my hands, building up the courage to umask the head. I don't know why but for some reason I feel really scared to take mask off. But I put my hand on top of the head, grabbing the edge of the mask and pull it off.
WHAT?!
The face underneath the mask is… my own?