Chapter 3
"So Annie, I've got something kind of odd to ask you," Monica said to her friend as they walked home from school together later that week.
"Why does that intro strike fear in my heart?" Annie asked with a laugh. "What's so odd?"
"Would you please teach my brother how to eat pussy?" Monica just blurted out.
"The fuck? You know I'm a lesbDavid, Monica, why the fuck would you ask me that?"
"To get back at Lizzie and Katie."
"Okay, there seriously has to be more to this. There's no way that makes any sense."
"Well, it's like a really long story, and I promised not to tell all of it, which makes it like really awkward."
"Well then... no, absolutely not," Annie laughed.
"Shit, look... okay, if you totally promise not to tell anyone, I'll tell you why I'm asking. I mean, there are two reasons why I'm asking you specifically. First, I know how much you hate Katie after she outed you, and second, you're the best pussy-licker I know."
"Well then, I doubt you'll convince me, but I'll listen and promise to keep it all to myself, just in case it fucks up Katie somehow."
Monica explained what she'd overheard and the conversation she'd had with David, leaving out the bit about demanding he show her his cock.
"And so how does this fuck with Katie?" Annie asked when Monica finished.
"Think about it. If she never gave David a chance, and he turns out to be the best pussy-licker in school, giving orgasms so amazing that everyone is talking about them, you know she's going to want a turn. And then David can laugh in her face!"
"Oh my God, that is ridiculous, Monica! I'm sorry, but no."
"Damn."
"But like, you know, if you ever want your pussy licked, or you want to practice your skills, I'm totally here for you!"
"Yeah, thanks, Annie."
--- +++ ---
"So how's the plan coming along?" David asked her a couple of days later.
"Not as well as I'd hoped. It turns out it's really hard to just like convince a friend to teach my brother to eat pussy. Especially when I can't tell them why."
"Great, so now all your friends think I can't eat pussy," David sighed. "I don't think this is the help I need, but thanks, Monica. Let's just drop it."
"Unless I were the one who taught you," Monica suggested. It was out of her mouth before she'd even processed what she was saying.
"Say that again?" David asked in shock.
"Um, shit, did I actually say that out loud?" Monica laughed. "I didn't mean it."
"Freak!" David taunted.
"It, um... it could work, though. At least... well... I could help you improve."
"Stop it, Monica," David laughed. "Don't be ridiculous." He walked out of her room, shaking his head.
--- +++ ---
"Okay, Monica, if I'd said yes the other day when you said you could teach me to be, you know, a whatchamacallit, a wordsmith, what would you have done?" David said, having gone to find her in her room.
"I don't know, really. I guess, um, I'd have done it?"
"Even though I'm your brother."
"Because you're my brother. I wouldn't do it for just anyone, you know."
"But like, wouldn't that mean that I'd, like, have to... um, lick your pussy?"
"Yeah, but it's not like we'd be having actual sex or anything; it would be purely academic. Tutor and student."
"Then if you're not going to blow up in my face for asking, I do want you to teach me. Please."
"Really? Why the change of heart?" Monica asked, her stomach doing flip-flops at the thought of actually having to go through with what she'd suggested.
"I was at a party the other night, and I was hitting on Zoe Candana, and I thought I had a good chance until Katie decided to come past. She whispered something to Zoe, and it was all over. Zoe just said something like 'sorry, Ikea,' and walked off. I was ready to beat the shit out of Katie, but I can't, of course, so I just left. It seems you're right, though. I have no idea why Katie feels the need to destroy me, but for some reason she seems determined to do it."
"She's just a fucking bitch-mole," Monica insisted.
"So, you'll help me?"
"I will," Monica replied.
"When?"
"Why not now? No one else is home," Monica offered.
"Wow, um, I guess there's no time like the present," David agreed.
There was a long pause while David worried if his sister would change her mind, and Monica gathered her thoughts.