The high-pitched whine of the Vileplume's charging Solar Beam was the only warning I got. In that split second, my brain didn't process fear; it processed physics. I retived my pokemon, dove to the left, my skateboard clattering against the cavern wall as a pillar of pure, white-hot destruction vaporized the air where I had been standing a millisecond prior.
The shockwave slammed into the rock besides me, 'Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.'
"Vileplume," Ariana's voice was as cold as a blizzard, "finish the nuisance. **Solar Beam** once more."
I scrambled to my feet, my legs feeling like overcooked noodles. I looked at the charging flower, then at the exit, then at my own hands. My internal jukebox, always a fan of dark irony, began playing a cheerful tune from my past life: *'Dumb ways to die... so many dumb ways to die...'*
"I am actually going to die in a cave," I whispered, reaching for Nugget's ball. I wasn't going to go down without a fight, even if my 'fight' was basically a candle against a forest fire.
The Vileplume reached critical mass. The cavern turned white.
"**Flamethrower**."
It wasn't a command from Ariana. It was a roar.
A torrent of deep, swirling orange fire erupted from the darkness of the upper tunnels, colliding with the Solar Beam mid-air. The resulting explosion sent a wall of heat and steam through the cavern, knocking the Vileplume backward.
I blinked through the haze. High above, perched on a rocky outcropping, stood a figure draped in a flowing, high-collared cape. Beside him, a Dragonite—a massive, orange beast with a **Champion-tier** aura that made my HUD glitch—let out a protective growl.
"Lance?" I gasped.
Behind him, the cavern suddenly swarmed with movement. The Viridian and Pewter City Police Squads descended from the rappelling lines, their high-level Arcanines and Machamps flooding the floor.
"Secure the perimeter!" a voice yelled. "Don't let them reach the transports!"
Ariana hissed, her aristocratic face contorting in rage. She looked at Lance, then at the sea of blue uniforms, and realized the math wasn't in her favor. "This isn't over, G-Pro," she snarled. She recalled her Vileplume and threw a specialized smoke bomb. By the time the gray mist cleared, the Executive was gone, leaving her grunts to be tackled and handcuffed by the officers.
### The Lecture of a Lifetime
I stood there, covered in soot, my denim jacket singed, and my heart finally slowing down from its 'impending doom' tempo. The Clefairy were being released from their cages, their tiny *'Cle-faa!'* chirps filling the air with a much-needed sweetness.
"Host," Nelly's voice chimed in. "**Mission: Defeat Team Rocket** completed. 20,000 Points and 2 Class Enhancers added to inventory."
*Cha-ching.* I almost did a victory dance right there in front of the wreckage.
"Regina."
The voice was stern. I turned to see Lance descending from his Dragonite. Up close, he looked even more imposing. His red hair was perfectly coiffed despite the battle, and his cape fluttered with a dramatic flair that felt very 'Main Character.'
"I... uh... hey, Lance. You looked very cool out there, very champion-y." I offered a weak, soot-stained smile.
"Do you have any idea how incredibly reckless that was?" Lance's brow was furrowed, his arms crossed over his chest. "You are a recruit. A *recruit*, Regina. You were instructed to observe and report, not to engage an Executive-class operative alone. You could have been killed."
I started apologizing. I really did. "I know, I know! I'm so sorry. I just saw the Clefairy and the fossils and I thought—well, I didn't think, actually. My bad. Totally my bad. I'm just glad I'm alive. Praise the legendaries, I'm alive."
I kept nodding earnestly, but my face probably gave me away. Lance's eyes narrowed. He looked at me—really looked at me—and his frown deepened. He realized I wasn't shaking. I wasn't crying. I wasn't even particularly guilty. I was mostly just excited about the money that had just pinged into my bank account from the official police bounty.
"You aren't a bit ashamed, are you?" Lance sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Kids today. No respect for the chain of command or their own mortality."
"Hey, I have plenty of respect for mortality!" I defended myself. "I spent the last five minutes singing a song about how dumb it is to die. I'm very pro-living."
Lance groaned. "This isn't a joke. Your assistance was... vital, yes. You disrupted a major operation and saved dozens of rare Pokémon. For that, you will receive your official G-Pro commendation and reward. But as your senior official, I must insist on a formal reprimand for your lack of—"
### The Age Slip
"Senior official?" I blurted out, my brain still a bit fried from the Solar Beam. "I mean, I get the lecture, but how old are you really? I thought you were, like, twenty-eight. Not sixty."
The cavern went silent. A few nearby police officers actually stopped ziptieing grunts to stare at us.
Lance's face went through a fascinating series of transitions: confusion, realization, and then a faint, awkward blush that didn't match his 'Dragon Master' persona at all.
"What?" Lance asked, his brow twitching violently.
"Oh shit," I whispered, my eyes widening as I realized that had slipped out.
"I am... I am *eighteen*," Lance stated, his voice tight. "Only three years older than you, for your information! How old did you think I was? And my age has no bearing on the validity of my lecture!"
"Eighteen?" I repeated, looking him up and down. The cape, the drama, the way he spoke like an old-world aristocrat. "Really? You could go for sixty with that 'back in my day' attitude."
I quickly snapped my mouth shut as the 'Dumb Ways to Die' jukebox started up again. Lance's fury was evident. He looked like he was about to command his Dragonite to use **Hyper Beam** on my dignity.
"You... you insolent—"
"Officer Lance!"
A savior appeared in the form of Officer Jenny. she walked up holding a thick stack of digital tablets. "I'm so sorry to interrupt your... debriefing, but we need the additional signatures on the fossil seizure paperwork. Since Regina is a minor and a new recruit, her signature is already on the digital file, so she's free to go. But we need a Senior G-Pro's physical authorization."
She looked at me and gave a subtle, conspiratorial wink. I practically wanted to kiss her.
"Yes! Right! Paperwork! Very important!" I squeaked, joining my hands together and mouthing *'Thank you!'* behind Lance's back as he turned to face Jenny.
Lance let out a long, suffering sigh. "Fine. But Regina, we are *not* finished with this discussion regarding respect for—"
"Bye, Lance! Great cape! Very slimming! See ya in Cerulean!"
I didn't wait for the second half of that sentence. I grabbed my board, tucked it under my arm, and sprinted for the cave exit before he could realize I was already halfway down the mountain path.
The night air outside Mt. Moon was cool and sweet. I stood on the ledge, looking down at the lights of Route 4.
"Nelly," I panted, slowing down as I reached a secluded ledge overlooking the valley. "Open the reward shop. I think it's time Nugget and the others got an upgrade. And see if there's anything for... you know, making me look sixty. I want to see what Lance was so upset about."
"Host, you are lucky the Champion has a high tolerance for idiocy," Nelly's voice echoed, sounding surprisingly amused.
"Hey, it's called 'character building,' Nelly. Now, let's see those Enhancers. We have a Gym in Cerulean to prepare for, and I have a feeling Misty is going to be way less scary than a man in a cape."
I sat on the edge of the cliff, the moonlight reflecting off my new Moon Stone, and for the first time since Pallet Town, I felt like I wasn't just surviving the world. I was winning it.