I wish I could say there was a big moment. Something dramatic. Something I could point to and blame.
There was not.
It was just her.
At first, she was just my boyfriend's sister. Which, for the record, should have been enough for my brain to go, "Nope. Off limits. Absolutely not." Very clear. Very simple.
But apparently, my brain is not in charge of my life.
Because somewhere between random conversations and stupid little jokes, I started noticing her more than I should. Like how she always had something to say that made me laugh, even when I was trying not to. Or how she would look at me like she was waiting for me to say something back, like I mattered in a way I was not used to.
And that should have been the moment I backed off.
Instead, I leaned in.
Not in a big, reckless way. Just small things. Staying a little longer. Talking a little more. Looking at her when I should have been looking anywhere else.
I kept telling myself it was nothing.
Which is funny, because "nothing" does not usually make your heart do weird things when someone walks into the room.
"Nothing" does not make you smile at your phone like an idiot.
"Nothing" does not make you forget, even for a second, that she is literally your boyfriend's sister.
But here I am.
Still calling it nothing.
Even though, deep down, I think I already know it is not.